She Talks To Angels
by Sage Londyn
Summary: Addison dreamt of a man in a tan trenchcoat telling her she isn't entirely human. But her life is drastically changed forever when the same man shows up and saves her from two demons. She learns that heaven needs her help and she doesn't really get a say in the matter. But soon Castiel finds himself wanting to protect her and goes against his orders from heaven. Castiel/OC
1. Nephilim

**Part one.**

"_It is not known precisely where angels dwell - whether in the air, the void, or the planets. It has not been God's pleasure that we should be informed of their abode."- Voltaire_

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><p>"Oh come on." Addison muttered under her breath as a light over the table she was folding clothes at burnt out.<p>

Her light green eyes looked around the laundry room in her apartment building, lately she hadn't been able to shake the feeling that she was being watched.

Pulling her dark brown hair back into a loose pony tail, she glanced down the old hallway and tried to ignore the feeling.

Holding up one of her favorite shirts, she frowned as she saw a paint stain didn't come out in the wash, frustrated she tossed it in the basket and jumped when she saw someone standing in the room with her.

The man looked at her with blue eyes that seemed to read right into her soul, he had very dark brown hair that almost looked black in the now dim lighting. She looked him up and down, he was in a business suit with a long tan trench coat over it, she felt uneasy when she saw he didn't have a basket of clothes.

Trying to appear casual she started putting her clothes back in her basket without folding them, just wanting to get back into the safety of her apartment and lock the door behind her.

"You're Addison Pennant." The man said as he took a step towards her.

Her heart pounded in her chest, as she looked at him wide eyed. This was the same man who had been haunting her dreams for a few months now.

"Who are you?" She asked, her voice shaky.

"I'm Castiel." He responded, almost as if that should mean something to her.

"Stay back!" She hissed as he took another step towards her.

He stopped and cocked his head to the side, his eyes searching her face.

"What do you want?" She asked, as she eyed the open door to the laundry room, trying to decide if she'd have a chance of running past him.

"I am supposed to keep you safe, you are in my charge now." He responded.

"I have to go." She said, feeling more scared than before as she grabbed her clothes basket and headed down the hall to her apartment, thankful to have gotten away from the man.

"See you tomorrow." Addison said to a co-worker as she walked out of the book store she had worked at for the past two years.

Getting into her blue Prius, she stopped at a local craft store to pick up some more paint and paint brushes before heading back to her tiny apartment in a historic part of Indianapolis, Indiana.

Pouring herself a glass of wine, she turned on some soft music as she stood in front of the canvas set on an easel in front of an exposed brick wall.

Almost as if in a trance she began to paint a portrait of the man she had been dreaming about, she had almost convinced herself the meeting in the laundry room was a dream too, it just wasn't possible.

Taking a sip of her glass of wine, and mixing several hues of blue, she smiled to herself as she felt she had created the exact shade of blue for his eyes.

After finishing the painting she stood back and looked at it, proud of herself for the quality of the art, but disappointed that it was of the same subject as the last ten. She just couldn't get him out of her head.

Laying down in her bed, she pulled her black and white zebra print comforter up to her chin and snuggled into her fluffy pillows as she listened to sounds of traffic and car alarms through her window.

She was almost asleep when she heard the aged wooden floor creak in her living room as if someone was walking across it.

Sitting up in her bed she listened closely for any sounds of movement, her heart raced with fear as she heard another footstep.

"Shit, shit, shit." She breathed out as she realized her cell phone was charging in the kitchen.

The footsteps got louder as they neared her bedroom, she pulled the blankets up over the bed trying to make it look like no one had been sleeping there, and tip-toed over to her closet.

"I thought you said she was home." A male voice said.

"She is, I watched her leave work and come here… she never left the apartment after that." Another male voice answered.

"If you say so." The first voice said.

"She's in here, she has to be." The second of the two said.

Putting both hands over her mouth and nose, she hoped they wouldn't be able to hear her shaky breathing as she closed her eyes and prayed these men would take what they wanted and leave her alone.

The room was quiet for a about a minute, and she wondered if they had left then the closet door flew open.

"Found her." A tall man with a shaved head said, as he looked at her with coal black eyes.

Before she could scream or say anything, he grabbed her. placing a hand over her mouth as she struggled against his grip, but he was stronger than he looked.

She had seen plenty of crime shows on TV and she knew her best chance at staying alive was to get the hell out of there, if they managed to abduct her it was almost a sure thing they would kill her.

Mustering all of her strength she bit down on his hand as hard as she could, he yelled in pain and let go of her.

"You're gonna pay for that bitch!" He growled, as the blackness fully took over his eyes.

"Oh my god!" She yelled as the man in the trenchant appeared in the room behind the man.

She watched in complete shock as the trench coated man put his hands on the kidnappers head, within seconds blinding beams of light came from his eyes and mouth as he died.

"Oh man!" The other kidnapper said as he titled his head back, and a low roar sounded as a thick cloud of black smoke flew from the man's mouth.

She put a hand over her stomach as she felt sick.

"Are you alright?" Castiel asked her.

"I… They… Oh my god." She said, shaking her head.

Looking around the room he said, "We have to go, more are on their way."

"More what?" She asked confused and not sure if he had been in on the whole thing.

"Demons." Castiel responded.

"Demons? What the hell are you talking about? What would they want with me?" She gasped, taking a few steps back from him.

"You. Addison, you are a descendant of the Nephilim." He responded.

"The what?" She asked, her head was spinning.

"We have to go." He said, his voice dry as he spoke.

"I'm calling the police." She said as she turned and started out of her bedroom, stopping abruptly as Castiel appeared in front of her.

"What are you…?" She started to ask as he reached two fingers out and placed them on her forehead.

Everything instantly went black for her.

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><p><strong>)~-~(<strong>

**_A/N - Thank you all for reading! I hope everyone likes the new story, I'm really excited! This will be the first Castiel Fanfic I've written, ^_^._**

**_This story is starting out set in season 4 of the show_**. **_Also, I'm only loosely basing this off of Nephilim lore, I'll be twisting things to fit my story._**

**I'd really appreciate it if you would take the time to leave a review, as long as I know there is an interest in this story I will try to update frequently, ^_^.**

**-Update- even though the story is rated T, in later chapters pay attention to chapter ratings/warnings at the beginning of certain chapters.-**


	2. Basket Case

**Part Two**.

"_There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened." -Douglas Adams_

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><p>Addison's eyes slowly opened as she raised her head and looked around the familiar living room at her parents cabin by the lake.<p>

Sighing in content she closed her eyes, and thought the horrible events from the prior night all must have been a dream, she considered for a few seconds maybe she had drank a little too much wine.

Just when she calmed completely down, she realized she wasn't at her parents cabin the day before, she had been at her own apartment.

Sitting up she looked around, scared at now knowing how she had gotten there.

Getting up she ran to the door and opened it, getting more worried when her car wasn't out front.

"Crap." She breathed out knowing if she had to try to escape through the surrounding woods she would get lost.

"Where are you going?" Castiel asked.

Spinning around she looked at him wide eyed.

"You! You…saved my life." She breathed out, as more of the prior nights events came back.

He nodded.

"I told you I am to keep you safe." He said, his blue eyes intense as he looked at her.

"How did we get here?" She asked.

"I brought you here, for now it should be safe from the demons." He said.

"Right, demons." She said, shaking her head back and forth.

He nodded, a serious expression on his face.

"And if demons are after me, then what are you Castiel?" She asked.

"I am an angel of the lord." He said.

"Ah, okay. And God sent you to earth to protect me?" Ghe questioned.

Before he could respond she busted out laughing.

"I don't understand… why are you laughing?" He asked, his face showed his confusion.

"Nothing is funny, not one bit of this is comical. I'm crazy… I mean I knew a distant cousin of mine had schizophrenia, but I thought I was safe because we weren't that closely related. But this proves it, I have completely and utterly lost my mind. You're probably not even real, I bet I've imagined you up… like the main character in "Fight Club"." She said.

"Addison, you don't suffer from any kind of mental illness." He said, more confused by her words than ever.

"Ha! Says the man that thinks he's an angel. This whole thing is so screwed up. I'm a basket case!" She exclaimed as she rubbed her temples, before pausing and pinching her arm hoping maybe the current events were a dream.

"Damn it." She muttered when all it did was start to bruise and she knew without a doubt, this was real.

"I just want to go home." She said, looking up at him with sad, green eyes.

"It's not safe for you there." He reminded her.

"But why? You mentioned something yesterday… said I was a descendant of… Neptune? Something like that…" She wondered out loud.

"Nephilim." He corrected her.

"What does that even mean?" She asked, her stomach had a sinking feeling.

She had always known she was different than everyone else, when she was a little kid and would get upset the lights in their house would flicker. And then they had sent her to a psychiatrist when she was in grade school when she told her parents she could hear voices.

"The Nephilim was a race created by God centuries ago. It's extremely rare, but every few hundred years, the gene seems to appear in someone." He explained.

"And then what? They get an angel on their shoulder?" She questioned.

"No, they go through their lives never knowing they are special." He said, as if it was something she should have known.

"Then why I am so different?" She asked, her voice sounded a little hysterical.

"I was given orders to keep you safe, and see what abilities you develop… I'm not sure why, yet. You are the first Nephilim I've seen." He answered her honestly. His superiors hadn't told him exactly why they wanted her yet.

"Like special powers? Is that why the demons want me? Because I have some sort of abilities?" She asked, with a tinge of fear.

"Yes." He admitted.

"What abilities do I have?" She asked taking a few steps forward.

"I don't know, we won't know until they surface." He said, as he kept his blue eyes locked on her.

"What could they be? Can I have some examples?" She asked, feeling like a child asking for a spelling-bee word to be used in a sentence.

"It's possible that you could hurt or even kill demons, over hear angels talking, you may even develop the ability to transport yourself from one location to another." He said.

"And when will I develop these?" She questioned, feeling on the verge of hysterical laughter again.

"You have to work on them, there is no set time." He told her.

"So these demons want to kill me so I can't use these magical powers on them?" She questioned.

"Most likely, they believe you can over hear angels, and they would torture you for information." He said, his words calm as he spoke.

"Oh shit." She breathed out, as she placed a hand on her stomach feeling sick from the thought of it.

They talked for a little while longer and he told her she would have to stay in the house, and going back to live in her apartment wasn't an option.

"I have to go back to get my clothes… and my car." She told him.

"It's not safe." He responded, not understanding why she wouldn't just listen to him.

"Come on, I saw you kill that demon just by putting your hands on his head! You can stand guard while I gather a few things." She pleaded.

Walking towards her he put a hand on her shoulder and they appeared back in her apartment.

"I am never going to get used to that." She mumbled as she pulled a bag from her closet and started packing her clothes.

Castiel wandered into the living room, and looked around the little apartment as she continued to gather her clothes.

Walking into the living she looked at him as he stood looking at the painting she had done of him.

"Yeah… that's not embarrassing at all." She said with a small laugh as she flipped the canvas around.

After she gathered all of her painting supplies they carried her stuff down to the car.

**)~()~(**

Later that night she stood in the living room of her parents lake house, in front of a blank canvas trying to think of something to create when she heard something scratch against a window.

Her heart raced as she looked around for Castiel, but didn't see him anywhere.

Hearing the scratching again she did what he told her to do, call out for him. "Castiel!" She yelled, looking around worried.

He didn't appear.

Walking cautiously over to the window, she jumped as a gust of wind blew a low hanging tree branch across the glass.

Taking a deep breath, and laughing a little at her jumpiness, she turned to find Castiel standing just a few inches away from her.

"What's wrong?" He questioned.

"Nothing… I'm apparently paranoid is all." She said, looking at him.

"Where were you?" She asked.

"Checking in with Dean." He told her.

"Oh." She said. Castiel had explained a little about him also having another human under his charge.

"What if the demons find me?" She asked, tucking some dark brown hair behind her ear.

"They won't." He told her.

"But what if they do? If they show up when your not here…?" She asked, swallowing hard.

She had never been this afraid in entire life, but in just a few days her entire world had been turned upside down and she was on the run for her life.

"Then you call for me, Addison, you are under my charge… it is my duty to keep you safe." He said, his blue eyes looked into hers.

**)~()~(**

**_A/N - Thank you all so much for adding this story to your favorites and subscribing! I had been planning this for a while, and finally started it!_**

**If you like what your reading please take a few minutes to leave a review, even just a few lines would make my day. ^_^**


	3. Embrace

**Part Three.**

"_When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity." -John F. Kennedy_

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><p>Addison sat crossed leg on her bed and looked around the room. It had been almost a month since she had been hiding out at the lake house.<p>

The only one she had been talking to was Castiel because she was afraid that if she talked to her family it might put them in danger.

Her grandmother only lived about thirty minutes away from the lake house and it was hard to not drive over and see her.

The loneliness was really starting to get to her and even though she had Cas to talk to, he didn't understand her humor and she wanted someone else to talk to.

Sighing, she looked back down at the blank piece of paper in front of her. closing her eyes, she concentrated and pictured the paper floating in the air. Slowly opening her eyes, but not breaking her concentration, she smiled wide at seeing the paper levitate above the bed.

So far, she had been able to make objects move with her mind. She kept trying to concentrate on a place and port herself but it wasn't working, so she decided teleporting wasn't one of her abilities.

A little while later, he cell phone rang, looking up, she saw it on a table across the room.

Smiling to herself she concentrated hard and it started floating across the room over to her.

"Ugh!" She groaned as it fell with a thud to the wood floor just beside the bed.

Picking it up, she looked at the number, it was her grandmother.

She had been ignoring all calls, but something in her gut told her she needed to answer this one.

"Hello?" She said, happy at the thought of hearing her grandmothers voice.

"Addison." A man said from the other end of the line.

Her heart beat loud inside her chest.

"Who is this?" She asked, hoping her voice sounded stronger than she felt at the moment.

"I've already made a trip to your parents house…it's too late for them, but you can save your poor grandma." The man said with a sinister twist in his voice.

"What are you talking about?" She gasped.

"It's simple, turn yourself over to us and we'll let her go." He said.

She knew it was a demon on the other end of the phone.

"Let me talk to her…" Addison demanded.

"She's a little tied up at the moment." He responded.

"Look, unless I know for a fact she's alive… I'm not going anywhere." She said.

"Say something." She heard the man say to someone.

"Addison?" Her grandmother sounded terrified.

"Grandma! Oh my god, are you okay?" She asked, as tears poured down her face.

"Listen to me Addy, you've got to run… it's a trap!" She yelled as the phone was taken away.

"Proof enough?" The demon asked.

"You listen to me you son of bitch, if I get there and she's dead… or even hurt, I will kill you!" She yelled as she grabbed her keys and headed out of the house, hanging up the phone on her way.

She sped down country roads as her mind raced with terrible thoughts of what she might find when she got there.

She had tried to call both her mom and dad and neither one of them answered, she prayed that they were okay and that the demon had lied to scare her.

Pulling up to her grandmothers house she walked up the walkway, more scared than she had ever been as she opened the door and walked into the house.

Walking through the living room and into the kitchen she looked at her grandmother who was tied to a dining room chair, with duck tape over her mouth.

When her grandmother saw her, she shook her head back and forth trying to tell her to leave.

"I didn't actually think you'd show…" A man said as he rounded the corner and looked at her.

"You've got me, now let her go." Addison said.

"It doesn't work that way." He stated smiling sinisterly at her.

"What are you talking about?" Addison asked, right before another demon grabbed and pinned her arms behind her back.

"Let me go!" She shrieked as she struggled against his grip.

"You don't wanna miss the show, do you?" He breathed out into her ear, as the other demon started towards her Grandmother with a knife.

"Stop it!" Addison yelled at the top of her lungs, angered at their lies.

The lights in the house flickered as she yelled.

"What the hell was that?" The demon asked, looking to the one who was holding onto her.

"Just kill her so we can get out of here." He responded.

Concentrating on a large knife in a block on the counter, it raised rather quickly and flew at the demon who was about to kill her grandmother. The knife hit him right in the throat, he fell to the ground gurgling blood.

"Castiel!" She yelled, as she mentally slapped herself for not calling him earlier.

She managed to slip out of the demons hold and turned to face him, as he charged and knocked her to the ground.

Before she could react he had his hands around her neck, slowly choking the life out of her.

She tried to hit his face and push him off of her, but he was too strong. Focusing on all the anger and hurt she felt she starred at him with pure hate, his grip loosened on her neck before he finally let go of her completely.

Stumbling back he held onto his own throat as he gasped for air, and a bright light emitted from his eyes and mouth, just like what had happened to the demon that Castiel had killed.

With in seconds the mans lifeless body fell to the floor.

**)~()~(**

"It's okay." Addison's grandmother, Rose, said as she rubbed a hand over her granddaughters back.

"It's not okay." Addison said through her tears as, she hung her head over a trash can, her stomach was in knots.

They were sitting in the living room of Rose's house.

"You saved our lives… from those… well, whatever they were." She said, remembering the black eyes they had showed her.

"Demons… they were demons." Addison said, trying not to think of the now bloody mess in the kitchen.

"If you hadn't killed them… they were going to kill us." She said, softly, biting her tongue from all the questions she had.

After a little while, Rose asked, "What's going on, Addy?"

Sighing heavily, Addison explained everything Cas had told her.

Seeing her grandmothers un-shocked reaction, she pointed out, "You don't look surprised, Grandma."

"I'm not, I always knew there was something special about you." She said, with a sparkle in her eye.

"Special? This isn't special… this is some sort of curse! I just want things to go back to the way they were a couple months ago…" Addison said, clutching her stomach.

"Well, things aren't going to go back to the way they were. It may not be ideal, but this is the hand god has dealt you…and you said the angels are trying to stop the apocalypse from happening. You have to do what you can, no matter how hard it gets." Rose said to her granddaughter.

"I know." Addison said as she batted a few tears away from her face.

**)~()~(**

Addison hung up the phone from the police in her parents town. The news she had just gotten had stunned her to the core, they were dead.

She knew she should cry, but she almost felt too broken to cry. She was angry at the demons for doing everything, and mad at Castiel for not showing up when she called him, and mad at herself for not warning everyone she cared about. She had just thought if she didn't contact them the demons would have no reason to go after them, but they were demons and they didn't need a reason to cause harm and pain.

Finally, the sadness over took her and she curled up on the bed crying harder then she thought was possible.

"What happened?" Castiel asked as he sat down on the side of the bed and looked at her.

"Where were you?" She asked through her tears.

"Seeking revelation." He admitted,.

"What happened?" He asked her again.

Sitting up, she wiped some tears away.

"My parents are dead…" She said, looking at him with her bloodshot eyes.

He was quiet for a minute before saying, "I'm sorry." The words sounded awkward as he spoke, it was probably the first time he said or felt it.

She shook her head back and forth, she had learned a while ago that angels weren't what everyone thought they were, they were soldiers, warriors of god.

"The demons… they went after my Grandmother… I had to kill them." She breathed out raggedly.

"What do you mean you killed them?" He questioned.

"It was so strange, the room shook and lights flickered… one of them had me by the throat, I thought of how much I was mad at him, and then it was like he choked to death… he had the lights that burned his eyes and came from his mouth, just like when you killed that on in my apartment, only I didn't have to touch him." She said, now glad she had killed the beings, they had killed her parents.

Castiel looked shocked, the other angels had told him she might have that power, but more than likely she'd never get that strong.

"I called for you…" She said, looking at him.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, this time it seemed more heartfelt and like he really meant it.

She wanted to yell at him, tell him how much he sucked at protecting someone. But she knew it wasn't really him she was mad at, and even if he had came when she called it wouldn't have made a difference.

More tears poured down her face as she shook her head back and forth.

Castiel thought back to earlier that day, when she had called for him he had been with Uriel who had instructed him not to go. Uriel said he was getting too attached to his charges, and he knew for himself he was starting to have doubts about the orders he had gotten, but he felt he had no place to question God's will.

Scooting over closer to him, Addison leaned against him. She just needed someone to hold her, tell her it was all going to be okay, even though she knew it wasn't going to be.

He looked down at the girl cuddled up against him, he had no idea what to do.

When he didn't move away, she grabbed his arm and pulled it around her as the tears kept coming.

Slowly, and unsure of his movements he moved his other arm around her shaking body, as he held her tight against him. He wasn't entirely sure why she wanted him to do that, but it felt nice and almost natural to him.

In a way he knew it was wrong that he had started to care about her, he was an angel and she was for the most part, human.

**)~()~(**

**_A/N - Thank you all for reading! I really hope everyone liked the chapter. As I said this fanfic is set starting in season 4, I will be doing some modified versions of a few episodes, moving things around to add Addison in them._**

**_Also, Anna won't be in this story. Sorry to all of you Anna-fans, I did like Anna up until she tried to kill the boys of course. V_V, anyway she won't be in the story._**

**_I've got big plans for this fanfic, a ton of ideas I want to write for it ^_^._**

**I'd really love to know what everyone thinks of it so far, please take the time to leave a review. I appreciate them all so much! ^_^**


	4. Training

**Part Four.**

""_You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." - Mahatma Gandhi_

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><p>"I don't believe it." Uriel said, as he looked at the bodies of four demons that Addison had just killed with her mind.<p>

She got them all at once and it only took a matter of minutes.

Addison looked over at the angel and wiped some blood that had started to trickle down her face from her nose.

"Again." The angel instructed her.

"Are you kidding me? I've already killed ten of them… I'm worn out." She said, her eyes heavy as she spoke.

"Maybe she should wait until tomorrow." Castiel said, looking over at the other angel.

"Again." Uriel ordered as he looked over at another five demons. They had been having her practice and use her abilities to get them stronger.

Just as instructed, she killed the other five just as quickly.

More blood came from her nose, and she started coughing.

"Oh my god." She breathed out as she pulled her hand away from her mouth to see blood on it, not only had she gotten a nose bleed she had started to cough up blood.

"Why is this happening?" She asked as looked up at Castiel.

Before he could answer, Uriel said, "Because you are weak, you're not going to get any stronger if you don't keep at it. I'll go get another batch of demons."

"No." Castiel said, as she coughed up more blood.

"Castiel, she will be useless if she doesn't harness these abilities." Uriel pointed out.

"Useless? I just killed a total of fifteen demons with my mind. You can do what? Kill one at a time, and that's if you can get your hands on them." She snapped, as she coughed up more blood.

The angel sighed heavily with irritation.

"If she continues this, it could kill her." Castiel said, looking at Uriel.

"You need to have here back here first thing in the morning." Uriel said to them as he disappeared from the room.

Back at the lake house, Addison took a drink of her water and looked up at Castiel who was looking out of the window deep in thought.

"Were you serious about these abilities being able to kill me?" She asked, setting the glass down on the coffee table.

"Yes, you are not full blooded Nephilim… using too much energy for the abilities could fatally injure you." He admitted.

"Oh fantastic." She breathed out sarcastically.

"No it isn't, you have to be very careful when you use them." He answered confused at her remark.

She couldn't help but smile at his taking everything she said so literally. "We've been over this, Cas… that was sarcasm." She said, as she shook her head.

)~()~(

A couple weeks later Addison walked into the living room to find Castiel sitting on the couch. She knew by the look on his face that something was wrong.

"What is it?" She asked, sitting down beside him.

"Another seal is close to be broken." He admitted, his blue eyes a little dark as he spoke.

"I just don't get it, Cas. With all of these angels on earth now… how do these seals keep getting broken at this rate? It just doesn't make any sense." She said. She had gotten to be really comfortable around him.

"I'm starting to have doubts." He admitted, disappointed in himself.

"What?" She gasped, knowing one of the things angels were not supposed to do was to doubt any order.

"I'm not sure anymore if these orders are even coming from God." He said.

"You've never met him?" Addison asked, shocked.

Castiel shook his head no.

"That just seems crazy…" She said, shaking her head.

She frowned at seeing how upset he was.

Lightly, she placed her hand on his and gave it a little squeeze as she said, "There has got to be a way to fix all of this, right? We've all just got to work harder on keeping the demons from breaking seals… I need to work on getting strong so I can take out more demons at once." She said.

Looking at her hand on his, he said "Uriel has already been pushing you too far with these abilities"

"I have to go." He said, after a few minutes of silence.

"Where to?" She asked, she had gotten used to having him there with her all the time, and didn't like it when he left.

"Uriel and I have some business with Dean." Castiel answered, as he stood from his seat.

"Can I come with you?" She asked, biting her lip knowing he would probably tell her no.

**)~()~(**

_**A/N -Thanks for reading! I really hope you all enjoyed the update! I know this chapter was a little short... but she gets to meet Sam and Dean next chapter! ^_^**_

__**Please, take just a few minutes to leave a review! I appreciate them so much. ^_^**


	5. The Winchesters

**Part Five.**

"_But what is hope? Nothing but the paint on the face of Existence; the least touch of truth rubs it off, and then we see what a hollow-cheeked harlot we have got hold of." - Lord Byron_

* * *

><p>"She might be of some use if the Winchester's don't do as they're told." Uriel said.<p>

Castiel looked over at his fellow angel.

"Please?" Addison asked, with a smile as she looked at Castiel.

Grabbing her arm, he ported them to a hotel room.

She looked around, "Well were are they?" She asked.

"They'll be here." Uriel said as he turned and looked out of the window.

Cas sat down on the edge of a bed and Addison looked around the room.

Just a few minutes later the door of the room opened and the taller of the two men pointed a gun at Castiel and yelled, "Who are you?"

"Sam, Sam. Wait! That's Castiel, the angel." Dean said, as they walked farther into the room.

Looking over at Uriel, Dean said, "Him I don't know."

Dean looked at Addison, smiling as he checked her out.

"I don't know her either." Dean pointed out.

"These are the angels?" Sam asked, a look of shock on his face.

"Oh no. I'm not an angel, I'm human… Well mostly anyways. Oh, I'm Addison, by the way." She said, smiling friendly at the brothers.

"Cas, Where have you been hiding her?" Dean asked, nodding at her.

Addison raised an eyebrow at him.

"At her parent's cabin." Castiel answered.

Addison shook her head at Castiel's response.

"Hello Sam." Castiel greeted the younger Winchester.

"Oh my God. Or, Uh… I didn't mean to… Sorry, It's an honor. Really I've heard a lot about you." Sam stumbled over his words.

"And I, you. Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood. Glad to hear you've ceased your extracurricular activities." Castiel said.

Addison frowned a little, Castiel had told her about Sam using some powers he had from getting demon blood as an infant.

"Let's keep it that way." Uriel said, as he turned and faced them all.

"Yeah, Okay Chuckles. Who's your friend?" Dean asked Castiel.

"This raising of Samhain, have you stopped it?" Cas asked them.

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Dean, have you located the witch? Is the witch dead?" The angel asked.

"No, but we know who it is." Dean answered.

"Apparently, the witch knows who you are too." Castiel pointed out as he showed them a hex bag they had found hidden in the wall.

"The raising of Samhain is one of the 66 seals." Cas explained.

"So this is about your buddy Lucifer?" Dean questioned as he pieced it all together.

"Lucifer cannot rise, the breaking of the seal must be prevented at all costs." Castiel told them.

"Okay, now that you're here, tell us where the witch is. We'll gank her." Dean said.

"We are not omniscient. This witch is very powerful. She's cloaked even our methods." He explained.

"Okay, well we already know who she is. So if we work together…" Sam said.

Addison nodded, she was willing to help them in any way she could.

"Enough of this." Uriel said, frustrated at their small talk.

"This is Uriel. He's what you might call a specialist. You, both of you, need to leave this town immediately. We're about to destroy it." Castiel told them.

"What?" Addison gasped, looking at the angel she'd grown so attached to.

"This is your plan? You're gonna smite the whole friggen town?" Dean asked, just as shocked as Addison was.

"We're out of time. This witch has to die, the seal must be saved." Castiel told them.

"There's a thousand people here." Sam pointed out.

"One thousand two hundred and fourteen." Uriel corrected his math.

"And your willing to kill them all?" Sam asked in disbelief.

"This isn't the first time I've purified a city." Uriel told them.

"It's the lives of 1000, against the lives of 6 billion, There's a bigger picture here." Castiel tried to explain.

"We'll stop this witch before she summons anyone, Your seal won't be broken and no one has to die." Sam said, trying to come up with a solution.

)~()~(

Addison walked out of the hotel room with Sam and Dean, as they headed out to try and stop the witch.

Getting into the car she sat in the middle of the backseat, as they headed to the school.

"I thought they'd be different." Sam admitted, disappointment showing on his face.

"Who the angels? Dean asked.

"I tried to tell you." Dean said, to his brother.

"I just thought they'd be righteous." Sam said.

"These are real angels, no white fluffy wings… they don't serve humanity Sam, they serve God, I mean that's what they do… technically they are soldiers." She pointed out as she injected herself into the conversation.

"Back at the hotel, you said something…bout you being almost completely human." Dean pointed out.

"Caught that huh?" She asked.

Dean nodded, and Sam glanced over the seat at her.

"Apparently I'm a descendant of an extinct race called the Nephilim. I'm still not entirely sure what it all means, but I have these abilities…" She said, pausing to gage their reactions.

"Abilities?" Dean questioned, watching the attractive girl in the rearview mirror.

"If I concentrate really hard I can move objects and stuff with my mind… but the one the angels are most concerned about is that I can kill demons." She admitted.

"With you mind?" Dean asked, glancing back in the mirror and then over at his younger brother.

"Yeah, I mean, I guess right now the power is still pretty weak… I can only take out about 10 or 15 at once. Only about 20 something a day… much more than that, and I started coughing up blood." She told them.

"Only about 20 a day? Addison… that's amazing." Sam said, glancing back over the seat.

"Not really, Sam. Because with those 20 demons a day… I have to kill the 20 humans they possessed." She explained.

Sam was quiet, and Dean nodded his head slowly.

"I mean honestly, Cas told me about you being able to exorcise demons with your mind, leaving the human vessel unharmed. I would give anything to be able to do that, and not just kill them." She said, looking at Sam.

In response to what she said, Sam looked uncomfortable and looked out of his window keeping silent.

"Cas told you about us?" Dean asked, looking a little confused.

Seeing him watching her in the mirror she nodded, instead of a verbal answer.

"He didn't say anything about you." Dean pointed out.

"Well, I do spend about ten or more hours with him, every day. Would get pretty boring if we don't talk. I've got demons after me, and one of his duties is to protect me. Honestly, us talking here is the only socialization I've had with anyone but him in a few months." She admitted.

She watched as Dean shook his head, not knowing how she spent so much time with the angel he had just met and only seen a few times.

"He's not that bad." She chimed in, feeling the need to defend her new friend.

"Right." Sam said, still feeling disappointed in how the angels acted.

"He's not." She argued defensively.

**)~()~(**

**_A/N - Wow, it's kind of strange to go back and watch season 4 now. Seeing how different Dean and Castiel's relationship was compared to the last couple seasons. ^_^_**

**_Thank you all for reading! I really hope you enjoyed the update, hopefully it won't be too long until I'm able to post the next chapter. ^_^_**

**I'd appreciate it more than you know if you would take the time to leave a reivew. Even just a few lines to let me know if you liked the chapter, or to let me know you're still reading. ^_^**


	6. A New High

**Part Six.**

"_I am not interested in power for power's sake, but I'm interested in power that is moral, that is right and that is good." - Martin Luther King Jr_.

* * *

><p>In the local high school's art room, Dean and Sam looked around trying to find more bones to see if the teacher had made the hex bags.<p>

"These are really good." Addison said, as she admired the Halloween masks.

Dean raised an eyebrow at her and sighed.

"Dean, the hex bags turned up in our room not after we talked to Tracy…" Sam said.

"After we talked to the teacher." Dean finished the thought.

"Hey!" Sam exclaimed as he saw a lock.

Addison walked over as Sam started to hit the lock with a hammer.

"Stop, your getting nowhere." She said, shaking her head as the lock wasn't budging.

"You have a better idea?" Dean asked her.

After a few seconds of her concentrating intensely on the lock it popped open.

"There." She said, smiling as she reached down and opened the drawer.

"Are those bones?" She gasped, looking at the contents of a bowl.

"My god, those are all from children." Sam said.

)~(

Running down the stairs and into the basement of the teachers house, Dean shot the teacher who was about to kill Tracy. The young girl was standing with her hands bound above her head.

As Dean went to untie Tracy, Addison said, "Wait Dean… there's something wrong with her."

"What do you mean?" He asked her, confused.

"I don't know… I can just tell." Addison said, with her brows creased.

Ignoring her, Dean cut Tracy's arms free.

"Thank You! He was gonna kill me! I mean did you see what he was doing? Did you hear him? How sloppy his incantation was… My brother always was a little dim." She said, looking at the dead body on the floor.

Sam and Dean raised their guns to her, but she spoke something in a language Addison had never heard, and all three of them went flying backwards and landed on the floor.

"He was gonna make me the final sacrifice." Tracy said as she filled a gold goblet with the teachers blood.

"I tried to tell you." Addison said, as she looked past Sam, to where Dean was lying on the floor.

Sam scooted over closer to the body, and put his hand in the blood that had puddled around it on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked, as his younger brother smeared the blood on his own face.

"Just follow my lead." Sam said as he rubbed blood on Dean's face.

"No, no…" Addison's voice trailed off as he now rubbed the, still warm, blood on her face.

"Oh dear god." She mumbled feeling sick to her stomach.

She watched as the brothers lay on their backs and played dead, she followed suit, hoping Sam's plan would work.

After killing the witch, the demon ,Samhain, walked right past them like they didn't exsist.

Addison sighed with relief as the demon left the room.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked, as they all stood to their feet.

"Holloween lore, people used to wear masks to hide from him." Sam explained.

"Nice. Quick thinking." Addison said, smiling at him. "Now… I need something to get this blood off of my face before I hurl." She said, with a scrunched nose as all she could smell was a light coppery scent from the blood.

"Where are we gonna find this mook?" Dean asked as they headed back to the car, wiping the last traces of blood from their faces.

"Where would you go to raise all the dark forces of the night?" Sam asked.

"A cemetery!" Addison exclaimed.

"I was gonna say that…" Dean mumbled as he got into the drivers side of his car.

"So this demons pretty powerful?" Sam thought out loud once they were in the car.

Dean nodded.

"Might take more than our usual weapons…" Sam said.

"Sam, no. You're not using your psychic whatever… don't even think about it. Ruby's knife is enough." Dean said.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Because the angels said so, for one." Dean answered.

"I thought you said they were fanatics!" Sam exclaimed.

"Look I don't mean to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but if the angels told you to stop and you keep doing it… they're going to find out. Think about it Sam, they were going to smite an entire town and not blink… you really thing they'd give a crap about killing one person who disobeys them?" Addison chimed in.

The car was silent.

"Look, I can kill him." Addison said.

"Do you have any idea how powerful he is, Addison?" Dean asked.

"A demon is a demon, right?" She asked.

"Yeah, but this one demon may be more powerful then the 20 that you can take in one day." Dean pointed out.

"Well, then maybe I can at least weaken him enough that one of you can get him with your knife." She pointed out.

"Didn't you say something about coughing up blood?" Sam asked.

After a moment of silence, she said "When I use too much of the abilities at once… I get a nose bleed and if I keep pushing it I start coughing up blood." She admitted.

"So pretty much these powers of yours can kill you?" Dean asked, glancing at her in the mirror again.

"Neither one of you are using your… whatever you want to call them, we've got a knife that kills demons. We'll gank him with that!" Dean exclaimed as they neared the cemetery

"Fine." She said, shaking her head back and forth.

At the cemetery as they neared the mosleum, they could hear screaming from the high school kids.

Running down the stairs they saw a group of them were locked in.

"Help them!" Sam yelled as he started to run after Samhain.

After Dean and Addison got everyone out, they looked around as the crypts started to bust open and people climbed out.

"Oh my god… What are these things? Zombies?" Addison asked, looking around in horror.

"What do we do?" She asked.

Pulling two blades, with black handles he handed one to her. "Stab them through the heart." He instructed as he watched more bodies crawl out of the crypts.

"Are you joking? Dean, I'm training in using my mind to kill demons, not hand to hand combat!" She exclaimed looking at the blade he was handing her.

"Through the heart, Addison." He instructed her again.

"Oh crap." She muttered worried, as she took the blade from him.

With one blade after another they took down all of the zombies, until a female ghost appeared and tossed Dean across the room.

Running over to him she dropped down beside him, "Holy shit, are you okay?" She asked.

"Zombie-ghost orgy, huh? Well that's it, I'm torching everybody." Dean said, as he looked around the room.

"There's salt and gasoline in the trunk, come on." Dean said, as he started to get up.

"Dean listen to me, I don't know a damn thing about the walking dead, or ghosts… but what I know how to do is kill demons. I need to go help Sam." She said, looking at him.

His face showed how against the idea he was.

"Come on, do you really want to hear another, I told you so?" She asked, referring to when he freed Tracy.

"Be careful." Dean said.

"Always." She called over her shoulder as she headed in the directed Sam had went.

Following the sounds of a fight, she found Sam and the demon Samhain fighting in a room, just as she got in the room the demon had thrown Sam across the room.

Concentrating, and using all of her might she started to kill the demon with her mind.

Dean was right, this demon was very strong, and wasn't going down easily.

As the demon slowly died, she could feel blood pouring out of both nostrils, her legs started to feel weak and she wondering if she'd be able to kill him.

Finally the lifeless body dropped to the floor.

Looking up, she saw Dean run into the room.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

Weakly she nodded, before dropping to her knees and holding onto her sides as she started to cough blood up.

It was worse than it had ever been before, she just kept coughing harder and more and more blood spilled out of her mouth and onto the cement floor.

"Come on, let's get you out of here." Dean said as he helped her to her feet.

**)~()~(**

_**A/N - Don't worry, Cas will be back next chapter! ^_^ That being said, I really hope you all liked the chapter and please take the time to leave a review.**_

_**I just started a new Crowley/OFC fanfic titled 'Eden's Edge'. If you have time I'd love for you to check it out. ^_^**_

**I really want to take a minute to let you all know how much I really appreciate your kind words. I love writing, and it's amazing to know that it's worth sharing. ^_^ I know updates can be a bit slow sometimes, but I promise to do my best on getting updates up in a timely manner. Words can't even describe how thankful I am for all of you!**

**XO**


	7. Kill or Be Killed

**Part Seven.**

"_Death is easy, peaceful. Life is harder." - Bella Swan (Twilight by Stephanie Meyers)_

* * *

><p>A month had passed since Addison had helped Sam and Dean take down the demon Samhain. She had been working on developing her powers even more, and more seals were being broken.<p>

Castiel had left to go help them, leaving her in the lake house by herself.

Mixing paints together she started to paint, listening to soft music and trying to unwind.

Cas had told her she needed to rest that day and there wouldn't be any training, she was thankful when he told her that.

She was almost done with the painting when a voice said, "It's time to go."

Spinning around she looked at Uriel, he had never came to her before.

"What?" Go where?" She asked.

"To train." He said.

"No, Cas told me I got the day off." She answered, setting her color palette down.

"That was before another seal was broken, Castiel is going to meet us there shortly, as soon as he is done talking to the Winchesters." He explained.

"Oh… maybe we should wait on him. He's always there when I practice." She said, she was uncomfortable with Uriel, he seemed to hate all of humanity.

"There isn't time, he will be there soon. We need to get started." He said as he grabbed her hand and they appeared in the warehouse where she practiced using her abilities.

As they walked towards a room, she said, "I'm killing a little over 30 demons a day now… where do you keep getting them?"

"All over, this earth is polluted with them." He answered.

It had been over an hour and she had been killing them nonstop, more than she had ever done before.

Holding onto her stomach, she coughed up blood and looked at the angel.

"Where's Cas? You said he'd be here." She said, as she coughed more.

"He will be." Uriel said as he led her to another room with 12 more demons tied up.

"Kill them." He instructed her.

"I can't." She breathed out, as she wiped some blood from her nose.

"These abominations killed your family, they are monsters. They deserve to die." He said.

"That's true, but I can't do anymore today…" She said, her voice pleaded with him.

He egged her on until she got mad enough she killed them.

Coughing up more blood she said, "That's it, if I do anymore, it will kill me." Her voice was hoarse as she spoke.

He nodded and led her down another hallway and into an empty room.

"We need to double your ability, Addison. You've been steadily killing around thirty demons every other day. Today we double that, you've killed 48, only 12 more…" He said.

"60 freaking demons? Are you kidding me?" She asked, looking at him in shock.

Walking towards a door, he said, "It's kill or be killed." The door slammed shut.

Running over to it, she beat on the heavy door.

"Uriel! Let me the hell out of here!" She yelled.

Just then she heard a noise from behind her, another door opened and 12 demons walked in, all displaying their black eyes.

Turning back around she beat the on the door some more, "Come on! Let me out! Please!" She yelled.

Turning around, she gulped as she looked at the demons, she had been practicing on demons that were tied up, not that could attack her and she had already used all her strength on the earlier ones.

"God, help me." She mumbled as she started to try and kill them with her mind.

Addison looked around the room at the dead bodies of the 12 demons, she didn't know how but she had managed to kill them.

Her legs collapsed under her, and she lay on the floor gasping for air, as her body shook with the loud coughing.

She started to black out when she heard a flutter of wings and the door to the room open.

"Addison?" Castiel asked as he knelt down and looked at her.

Seconds after she saw him, her body gave in and she drifted off into unconsciousness.

"What did you do?" Castiel asked as he looked at Uriel who had just came into the room.

"Her powers are getting impressive, she killed a total of 60 demons today, we were told at the most she'd be able to kill 40." Uriel said.

"This can kill her, if it hasn't already." Castiel said angrily as he looked at the wounded girl on the floor.

"If she dies, we'll get orders to bring her back." Uriel reasoned.

"And if we don't?" Castiel asked.

"Then she has served her purpose and taken out some demons along the way." He said with a menacing laugh, he didn't care what happened to her.

"She is doing everything to help us, pushing herself past her limits every other day for this." Castiel said, shaking his head in disbelief at Uriel.

"These humans are worthless, plumbing on two legs. What does it matter?" Uriel asked.

"You're close to blasphemy." Castiel said, as he knelt down and picked up Addison's limp body and moved them back to the safe house.

After gently placing her body on the bed, Castiel stood back and watched her.

Her breathing was shallow, and her pulse slow. He didn't know if she was going to make it, and without orders to resurrect her, he'd have to let her die.

He had only recently began to feel emotions, and at the moment he felt anger. Anger towards Uriel for almost having her killed, and angry at her for pushing on knowing the powers could easily kill her.

Walking over he looked out the window over the green landscape and at the water from the lake.

He turned back around quickly when she made a small pained moan, he watched her closely, but sighed when she didn't wake up.

He didn't want her to die, he'd had grown fond of her company and had began to genuinely care about her.

**)~()~(**

**_A/N - Thanks for reading, I hope everyone is still liking this story. ^_^_**

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave me a review. Even just a few lines to let me know you're still reading my story. Thank you! ^_^**


	8. Not Just a Kiss

**Part Eight.**

"_How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said." - Victor Hugo_

* * *

><p>"I'm glad you woke up." Cas said, as Addison sat up and looked around the room.<p>

She looked at the angel who was sitting on the bed with her. He had stayed with her the whole time she had been passed out.

"What time is it?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

"5 pm." He answered.

"I was only out a few hours." She said, nodding her head.

"No, Addison… it's Saturday." He said.

"I was knocked out for a full freaking day?" She asked shocked.

"You are lucky to be alive. What you did, taking on that many demons in a single day… was foolish. You could have easily died." He said, letting his anger show a little.

"You were worried about me?" She asked, as she tried to keep from smiling.

"I have grown… accustom to your company. I guess I have started to consider you a… friend." He said.

She smiled at him. "Me to." She said.

"I warned you if you didn't take caution these powers could kill you." He said.

"And I heard you. But honestly, if you had just shown up when you were supposed to… you know, before Uriel locked me in the room with 12 crazed demons, this would have turned out better." She said, raising an eyebrow at his blaming it all on her.

"What are you talking about? I was talking to Dean…" Castiel said, confused.

"So you didn't know?" She asked, her green eyes wide.

"No." He answered.

"Uriel told you me you'd be there at any minute. I just kept killing more demons and waiting for you to show up and get me the hell out of there." She said, shaking her head.

Castiel was silent as he wondered why Uriel would have done that.

"I know you guys have this whole… band of brothers thing going on and all that. But…I think that… maybe some of these angels aren't who you think they are." She said.

He nodded, "I myself have began to express doubt in a few of the others in my garrison. I don't know even know what's right and what's wrong anymore." He admitted to her.

Scooting closer, she put her hand on his.

"It's going to be okay." She said, trying to comfort him.

"Is it?" He questioned, his blue eyes sad as he looked at her.

"It has to be, I mean God won't really let this apocalypse happen, right? He created the earth, and every living thing on it… I can't imagine him letting it all burn." She said, not sure if she believed the words herself.

Looking back down at her hand still resting on top of his, he nodded at what she said.

He wasn't sure what it was exactly, but he liked whenever their skin touched, even something as simple as her placing a hand on his hand.

"But then again… that's coming from a girl who hasn't stepped foot in a church since she was like 8." She said, with a half frown.

He looked up at her, and his blue eyes looked deep into hers.

Looking into his eyes, she could see all of the doubts, and pain he was feeling.

She had been so lost in his eyes and in her thoughts, that she hadn't realized they had both been moving slowly towards the other one. As if they each felt a gravitational pull to each other.

With their faces now only inches apart she couldn't stop her eyes from glancing down at his lips. When she looked back up at his eyes she noticed he was now looking at her lips.

A little unsure of if she should or not, she leaned in closing the space between them as she softly placed her lips against his.

Their kiss was sweet and gentle, as they softly moved their lips together.

Pulling back she took a minute to catch her breath, she had kissed a couple guys before, but it was nothing like that soft kiss they had just shared. She really felt something from it, she could feel something between them.

Looking at her, he thought for a moment before he said, "Now I understand why humans do that." He had never felt anything like that before, had never felt so connected with anyone. His feelings for her grew stronger.

She couldn't help but laugh a little at his remark.

Glancing down she removed her hand from his and said, "I'm sorry Cas, I shouldn't have done that…" He was an angel after all.

"No, I enjoyed it." He tried to reassure her.

Feeling her cheeks darken with color she said, "Not what I meant… I liked it to… but you're an angel, are you even allowed to do things like that?" She asked.

"It is frowned upon… but when we are on earth there is more leniency. There is no set punishment for interaction with humans." He answered honestly.

"So you've done that before?" She asked.

"No." He said, his blue eyes back on her.

"Really? I'm a little surprised… I mean you seemed comfortable with it." She said.

Slowly and unsurely he moved his hand, and placed it on hers, the way she had done earlier.

"I've gotten comfortable with you, Addison." He admitted.

She smiled at him, even though his statement was simple, she knew it's meaning ran much deeper.

"That's good, I've gotten comfortable with you too." She answered back, hoping he knew she really meant that.

Slowly leaning back towards her, he kissed her that time. Another soft, sweet kiss.

Leaning back he smiled at the same feeling that rushed through him.

"What was that for?" She asked, smiling back at him. A little surprised he had made the first move.

He looked a little confused as he spoke, "I'm sorry, I thought you liked it."

"No, I do. It's just normally… I don't know, someone kisses someone else after they've made it out of a dangerous situation okay, or they've fought, just normally there is a precursor leading to it. But it's okay, I mean this works to." She said, smiling at the confused look on his face.

"It's okay." She said, when she saw he was still confused.

Leaning in again she pressed another soft kiss to his lips, letting him know it was alright.

**)~()~(**

**A/N - ^_^ I hope you all liked the chapter! Thank you for reading.**

**I've got a few new different Crowley/OFC fanfics posted now. ^_^ I'd love it if you'd check them out and tell me what you think.**

_**Please, leave a review! I appreciate them all so much!**_


	9. No One Can Know

**Part Nine.**

"_Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me they are proof of the fact that there is healing." -Linda Hogan_

* * *

><p>Addison sighed as she dropped a bag of her clothes on a bed in a hotel room.<p>

"What is it?" Castiel asked as he looked over at her.

"I just don't like this, can't we go back to the lake house?" She asked, her tone hopeful.

"The demons found you there." Castiel said.

"I know, but I've gotten stronger… I'm sure I could just kill them as they show up." She said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"They know you're developing your powers, surpassed every expectation… I believe they will stop at nothing to kill you now. You've became too dangerous in their eyes." Castiel pointed out.

"So now I have to stay on the run, a different hotel every week?" She questioned.

"If that's what it takes to keep you safe, yes." Castiel said.

A few hours later Addison was flipping channels on T.V. when she dropped the remote behind the bedside table.

"Damn it." She muttered as she strained her arm to reach it.

Wincing as she pulled her arm up and it got cut on a jagged piece of wood from the back of the table.

Placing one hand over the wound she ran to the sink to wash the blood off and clean the cut, as she rubbed her hand over it she couldn't believe her eyes when the wound healed, leaving only a red mark that disappeared within a few minutes.

Opening a bag of weapons she had started to acquire, she took out a sharp knife and stared at it.

Taking a deep breath and bracing herself she slid the blade over the top of her left arm.

Immediately blood started to run from the new wound, putting her hand over it she concentrated for a little while.

Again, to her amazement the wound was completely healed.

She did the same thing, over and over. Amazed every single time at how she was able to heal herself.

Later that night after she had taken and shower and changed clothes for bed, she waited until Castiel showed up.

"Finally!" She exclaimed as he appeared in the room.

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

"It's better than alright, watch this!" She exclaimed as she took the knife and cut into her arm.

"What are you doing?" He asked confused.

"Just watch!" She said, smiling widely.

He watched as she was able to heal the wound.

"See?" She asked.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her he looked at her arm.

He frowned at her, when the wound was completely closed.

"What's wrong? Isn't this a good thing? I can heal myself, who knows maybe I can help other people too!" She exclaimed.

"Addison, listen to me. No one can know about this, absolutely no one." He said, his eyes dark as he spoke.

"Cas, what's wrong?" She asked, worried.

Standing up he walked to the window and looked outside.

"Cas, come on. Talk to me." She pleaded as she stood and walked over beside him.

"There is a reason the Nephilim were erased completely…" He said, turning and facing her.

Grabbing his hand she led him over to the bed where they both sat back down.

"They were eliminated when it was found out that they not only could kill demons… but some started to become strong enough they could even…" He stopped.

"They could what?" She asked.

"Kill angels." He responded.

"What?" She gasped.

"The one's who developed the power to kill angels also had an ability the other Nephilim didn't have… the power to heal." He explained.

"Oh my god… so because I can heal, I can also… kill angels?" She asked, worried.

"It's not certain, but if my superiors find out they might not take the chance." He answered honestly.

"Meaning… they'd kill me?" She gasped.

He nodded.

"You're not going to tell them… are you?" She asked, concerned at how closely he followed heavens orders.

He shook his head no.

"Thank you." She said, looking at him.

"Addison, if any of them find out… I don't think I'll be able to protect you." He told her honestly.

She nodded, thinking how ignorant it was to be so happy of this new power, and how happy she had been to show him.

"You should get some sleep… the healing you've done has taken a lot out of you." He said, his voice a little dry as he spoke.

She nodded, he was right. Even though she had only healed small wounds it had drained her.

"Cas…" Her voice trailed off.

"You have to know, I would never kill an angel…" She said.

He nodded, but kept looking down at his lap.

"Hey" She said, gently grabbing his chin and making him face her.

His eyes were the saddest she had ever seen them.

"I mean it, I would never do that." She said, her voice strong.

"If you did, they would stop at nothing to kill you." He said, as he grabbed onto her hand that was holding his face.

Looking down at her hand in his grip, he thought of how much was at stake now. It seemed as if every day his feelings for her grew stronger, and he was putting his feelings for her, and her safety above his orders.

If she were to kill an angel and it was found out he knew and didn't say anything, he would be severely punished, possibly even killed.

Leaning in, he pressed his lips to hers, something they had been doing more often now.

Every time their lips met, a strong wave of emotions ran through them both, and he couldn't get enough of that feeling with her.

"Get some sleep." He said, as he pulled back from their kiss and stood up.

Standing with him, she leaned up and kissed him once more before getting into bed and pulling the blanket up to her chin.

Castiel sat in a chair on a far side of the room, making sure no demons broke in.

Addison turned over putting her back to him as she brushed a few tears from her cheeks.

With all the bad that had happened in the past, almost 5 months, the one good thing she had was Castiel and now he was having to go against his orders to keep her safe.

A small part of her wondered and feared if he may start to think she was more trouble than what she was worth.

**)~()~(**

**A/N - Thank you all so much for reading! I'm so glad to see so many of you were happy with their first kiss in chapter 8! ^_^ I thought it was such a cute scene.**

_**Please, take a few moments to leave a review. I appreciate any feedback so much, and I love hearing from my readers! ^_^**_


	10. A Just God

**Part Ten.**

"_All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward." - Ellen Glasgow_

* * *

><p>Addison sat on a table in the warehouse, she had been looking at the wall as she waited for Uriel to show up with some demons.<p>

It had been a few weeks since she had found out she had the power to heal, and even though she said she'd stop, she had been practicing more with it on her own, and hiding it from Castiel.

After a few trips to the local hospital of their town, she discovered she could also heal others, but it took a lot out of her.

"So how many demons are we shooting for today?" She asked, Uriel with a jolt of attitude.

"None." He answered, looking at her.

"Look." He said as he pointed out a window.

Looking through the window she saw a man chained to a big metal star structure inside a complicated devils trap drawn on the floor around him.

"Who is that?" She asked.

"We've finally located Alistar." Castiel said, as he appeared beside her.

"That's great! Maybe he can tell you all who's been killing the angels!" She exclaimed.

"That's what we thought, problem is he won't talk." Uriel said.

"So what's the plan?" She asked, looking over at Castiel who looked away from her.

"What?" She asked.

"We're bringing in one of his… apprentices." Uriel said.

"What are you talking about?" She asked.

"He's talking about Dean." Castiel said.

"Wait a minute…you're going to make Dean torture him for answers?" Addison asked, shocked.

"We freed him from perdition, straight from the flames… he owes us." Uriel pointed out.

"But this? After all he's been through?" She asked, shaking her head in disapproval.

"Make yourself useful… go pick some things up from the store." Uriel told her.

"Like what? Torture tools?" She asked, a look of terror on her face.

"Be creative… and don't forget the salt." Uriel said as he disappeared from the room.

Placing her hand on his arm Addison looked at Castiel with her eyes wide, "You're really going to do this to Dean? Come on, Cas… you gotta know this is wrong." She pleaded.

"I don't want to." Castiel admitted.

"Then don't." She said.

"I'm told it is necessary." He admitted.

"By who?" She asked, her eyes pleaded with him.

"My superiors… I have to go with Uriel to retrieve Dean." Castiel said, as he disappeared from the room.

**)~(**

Addison walked back into the room of the warehouse, frowning when she saw Dean. She hoped they wouldn't have gotten him.

"Addison?" Dean questioned, a little surprised to see her.

Looking around she asked, "Where's Uriel?"

"He went to receive revelation." Castiel replied.

"Well, tell Uriel or whoever that you do not want me doing this, trust me." Dean said, as he walked over and looked through the window to where they had Alistair.

"Want it no, but I've been told we need it." Castiel said.

"You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out." Dean said, his voice a little shaky as he kept his back to them.

"Come on, Cas. There has to be another way." Addison pleaded.

"There is no other way." Castiel told her.

"For what it's worth, I would give anything not to have you do this." Castiel said honestly to Dean.

Sighing and turning to face them he looked at the bags that she had set down on the table.

"Well, what am I working with?" He asked, his eyes dark.

"Well… I hit up some hardware stores, and of course I got salt and water, a few rosaries so we can make holy water. I also hit the local hospital." She said, as she held up a giant syringe with a big needle.

"I honestly didn't know they gave shots this big." She said.

Dean picked up the tools, and looked over the sharp edges of them, and nodded at the large amount of salt she had picked up.

"I got one more bag, be right back." She said, as she turned and headed back out to her car.

"All of that, is for him." She said, nodding to the torture tools Dean was now loading on a cart.

"But this… is for you." She said, as she set a large paper bag down on the table.

Dean opened it, relived to see several bottles of alcohol in the bag.

He nodded to her in a silent thank you, as he loaded everything onto his cart.

"I'm sorry, Dean." She said, as she walked in front of his cart to open the door for him.

Dean didn't respond as he walked past her and into the room with Alastair.

**)~(**

"You know this is so wrong…" Addison said, as she stood facing the window watching Dean.

After watching him for a while, she shook her head and sat on the table beside where Cas was standing.

Grabbing his hand, she looked at him, "We have to stop him." She said.

"He is doing God's work." Castiel said, not fully believing the words leaving his mouth.

"Asking a man who has been through so much, spent his whole life saving people… to torture… again? You said yourself he is still reeling from what he went through in hell." She said.

"I'm just following my orders…Who am I to questions God's will?" Castiel wondered out loud.

"You've never even met him! How do you know these orders are even coming from him?" She asked.

"They have to be." Castiel said, looking at her with sad blue eyes.

"I don't believe that." She said.

Getting off the table and looking back to see Dean cutting into Alastair, she turned back around facing Cas.

"If this is God's will… then this is a God I don't want any part of." She said, her tone razor edged.

"What are you saying?" Castiel asked her.

"I'm saying that if these orders really are coming form God himself.. then I'm glad I stopped going to church. Why in the hell would I want to devote myself to all of this?" She asked.

"Don't say that." Castiel said, taking a few steps towards her.

"Why it's the truth. Is he not supposed to be a just God? Where is the justice in all of this? This is wrong, and us being here… helping and all makes us just as guilty. We have to stop him." Addison pleaded with him.

"I am sorry, I don't want him doing this, but I don't have a choice." Castiel told her.

Addison listened as Alastair explained to Dean how he was the one who broke the first seal.

"No I've heard enough, I'm stopping this." She said angrily as she walked to the door. Just as she started to open it slammed shut.

"Cas?" She asked turning around.

They argued for a little while, before Addison looked back through the window.

"Shit!" She yelled, seeing Alastair out of the devils trap and beating Dean.

"Oh my god, he broke out of the trap! Cas, we gotta go in there!" She yelled franticly.

"Stay here!" Cas yelled at her, as he ran through the door and into the room with them.

**)~()~(**

_**A/N - Uh-Oh. ^_^ I hope you all enoyed the update. Thank you for reading.**_

_**I also want to take a moment to thank all of you who have added my stories to your favorites, or subscribed for updates! ^_^**_

**Please, take a few moments to leave a review and let me know what you're thinking of this story so far. I appreciate your taking the time to let me know how you think I'm doing, and I love getting feedback from my readers! It would mean the world to me if you'd leave a review... even just a small one to let me know you're still reading. ^_^**


	11. Pet Tricks

**Part Eleven.**

"_Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them" - William Shakespeare_

* * *

><p>"Come on, Cas!" Addison said as she watched nervously through the window as he stabbed Alastair with the demon killing knife.<p>

She watched in horror as Castiel missed his heart by a few inches.

Looking down, the demon said, "Well, almost. Looks like God is on my side today."

Reaching a hand out, Castiel turned the knife in Alastair's chest.

Groaning in pain he pulled the knife out, and dropped it on the floor.

Her heart beat quickly inside of her chest as she watched the demon and the angel fight.

As soon as she knew Alastair had the upper hand over Cas, she knew she had to do something.

She tried to get out of the room, but Cas had locked the door to keep her in there.

Concentrating she unlocked the door and ran into the room.

As she saw Alastair lift Cas up, and hang him on a protruding hook from the wall, Castiel seemed powerless to fight back.

Mustering all of her strength she concentrated on Alastair, aiming every single bit of anger she felt at him.

Uriel had been teaching her a new trick with the demons and she decided it was now time to use it.

Alastair stopped reciting the incantation and made chocking sounds as he flew and landed against the wall.

"Stupid pet tricks." He mumbled looking at her.

"Who's killing the angels?" She asked, keeping him pinned with her mind.

"How are they doing it?" She asked.

"You think I'm gonna tell you?" Alastair asked her, laughing a little.

"Yes, I do." She responded, as she made a fist with her hand and turned it, Causing the demon excruciating pain.

Castiel sat slumped on the floor watching her, he had no idea Uriel had been teaching her to torture them with her powers. Those weren't the orders they had been given, the orders were for her to kill demons.

"How are the demons killing angels?" She asked, her voice strained as it was taking a lot out of her to keep him pinned and in pain.

"I don't know!" He yelled, his voice choppy as he gurgled and choked.

"It's not us, we're not doing it!" Alastair continued, hardly able to speak through the pain.

"I'm supposed to believe that?" Addison asked him, eyes narrowed.

"Lilith isn't behind this. She wouldn't kill seven angels… she'd kill a hundred… or a thousand." He said.

Addison knew he was telling the truth, she dropped her hand and took a few deep breathes.

She glanced over at Castiel, who was looking at her in shock.

"Go, ahead. Send me back to hell… if you can." He said his voice taunting.

"My pet trick as you called it, isn't exorcising… it's killing." She said as she took a deep breath and got ready to kill him.

Looking her up and down, his eyes widened as he asked, "Nephilim?"

Not answering him she began concentrating on killing him.

The entire room shook as he yelled out in pain, and a light started to emit from him as he died.

Finally the demon's dead vessel slid down the wall and landed on the floor.

Addison took a few deep breaths as she wiped some blood away that had started to slide down her chin from her nose.

**)~(**

Castiel and Addison walked into the hospital where Sam had taken Dean.

Sam stopped them in the hallway, looking at Cas he said, "Get in there and heal him. Miracle now!"

"I can't." Castiel said.

"You and Uriel put him in there… because you can't keep a simple devils trap together." Sam argued.

"I don't know what happened. That trap, it shouldn't have broken. I am sorry." Castiel said.

"This whole thing was pointless. You understand that? The demons aren't doing the hits." Sam reminded him.

"Perhaps Alastair was lying." Castiel said.

Sam looked at Addison, he had seen what she did to Alastair, the same type of thing he could do.

"Addison?" He questioned.

"Alastair was telling the truth." She said.

"I need to speak to Uriel." Castiel said looking at them.

"I need to get back to the warehouse… to get my car." She said.

"I will come back for you." He said, before disappearing.

"I'm sorry Sam, I tried to get them to stop and not make Dean do it… but…" her voice trailed off.

"It's not your fault, if you hadn't have did what you did… Dean would be dead. I didn't make it there in time." He said looking at her.

She nodded, but didn't feel any better.

"Why don't you get something to eat or drink? I'll be here for a little while, I'll sit with Dean." She said.

"Are you sure?" He asked, not wanting to leave his brother alone incase he woke up.

"Yeah." She said, trying her best to smile.

After Sam left, Addison walked into Dean's hospital room.

Looking up at the monitors and back at his bloody, bruised face she said, "Okay… Dean, I am going to try something here…" She said, as she glanced around the room to make sure no one was there.

Putting her hand on his head she put all of her energy into trying to heal him. It took several minutes, but finally she accomplished it.

Dean's eyes fluttered open and he looked around as Addison weakly sat down in the chair next to his bed.

"What… did you heal me?" He asked, surprised as he felt fine.

Nodding she held on to her right side as she coughed up some blood up.

Sitting on the side of the bed, he said, "Hey are you okay?"

"Funny isn't it? Healing takes more energy than killing… kinda morbid isn't it?" She asked, coughing again.

"I didn't know you could even do that." He admitted.

"No one can know Dean, if the angels find out… I'll be killed immediately." She said, shaking her head.

"Dean, this whole thing… it's messed up. They're using us to do their dirty work, you have to be careful who you trust." She said, looking at him.

**)~()~(**

_**A/N - Thank you all for reading, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter!**_

_**Who else can't wait until Friday? Our lovely Misha Collins is back! ^_^**_

_**I posted the first chapter of a new Dean/OFC fanfic titled, 'Love and Memories'. I'd appreciate it if you would take the time to check it out and let me know what you think. ^_^**_

**You guys have no idea how much I appreciate all of you who have added this story to your favorites, or subscribed for updates. Thank you! Please, take a few moments to leave a review. Even just a couple lines to let me know you are still reading and liking this story. ^_^**


	12. Falling Away From Me

**Part Twelve.**

"_Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him." - Louis L'Amour_

* * *

><p>"Get your car, and go back to the hotel. I'll be there later." Castiel told her as he ported them back to the warehouse.<p>

"Okay… what are you going to do?" She asked.

"I have to confront Uriel." He admitted.

"You really think he was the one who broke the devils trap?" She asked,

"Who else could it have been? I made that trap myself, there is no way Alastair could have set himself free." Castiel told her.

She nodded.

"Be careful, Cas." She said, as she turned and walked out of the building.

Starting her car, she began to pull out of the parking lot when she got a sick feeling in her stomach. Something was wrong and she knew it.

Pulling back into the parking lot, she went in a back door of the building and started to head back to the room she had left Castiel in.

Addison looked around the now empty room when she could hear Cas talking.

She walked over to the window to see Castiel and Uriel in the room where they had kept Alastair chained up.

Peering through the window, she listened as they spoke.

"You broke the devils trap, set Alastair on Dean." Castiel accused.

"Alastair should have never been taken alive. Really inconvenient Cas. Alastair should have killed Dean and escaped and you should have gone on happily scape-goating the demons." Uriel said.

"For the murders of our kin?" Castiel asked.

"Not murders, Castiel, no. My work is conversion. How long have we waited here? How long have we played this game by rules that make no sense?" Uriel asked.

"It is our father's world, Uriel." Castiel pointed out.

Addison shook her head back and forth, she never liked Uriel and knew the feeling was mutual but she didn't expect this.

What Uriel said next made Addison gasp out loud in the empty room, as she watched them through the window with her green eyes wide.

"With you Castiel, we can be strong enough to raise our brother, Lucifer. Remember how strong he was? How beautiful? And he didn't bow to humanity, he was punished for defending us. Now if you want to believe in something Cas, believe in him." Uriel said.

"What were you to do, Uriel. Were you going to kill the whole garrison?" Castiel asked.

"I only killed the ones who said no." Uriel pointed out.

"Others have joined me, Cas. Now please brother, don't fight me. Help me spread the word, help me bring on the apocalypse, all you have to do is be unafraid." Uriel said, trying to coax him.

"Come on, Cas." Addison said, praying Castiel wouldn't join Uriel.

"For the first time in a long time, I am." Castiel said, before he hit Uriel sending the angel flying backwards and into a brick wall.

Addison watched the fight through the window.

"Oh my god!" She breathed out as tears stung her eyes as she watched Uriel knock Cas to his knees and started to hit him.

Addison turned and ran to another door so she could make her way through the building and come up behind Uriel.

Walking into the room, her hand shook as she picked up the angel blade Uriel had dropped during their fight and crept up behind him.

Her mind raced as she wondered if she killed an angel with the blade if they would still come after her, even if they didn't know she might have the power to kill them with her mind.

As he hit Castiel one more time, Addison realized she didn't care if they did come after her, didn't even care if they did kill her. She wasn't going to let him kill Cas.

Using all of her strength she stabbed Uriel through the throat with the angel blade. After he collapsed and died Addison dropped the angel blade to the floor and walked over to Cas as he slowly rose to his feet.

He looked over at her, he still had blood running from a corner of his mouth.

Reaching up she held onto the side of his face that wasn't bleeding and looked into his eyes. She knew she had done an incredibly stupid thing killing an angel but she didn't care, she had done it for Cas. And even if she had to face heaven's wrath for it, she would do it all over again.

Leaning up she kissed him.

**_~()~_**

Back in her hotel room, Addison washed her face and looked in the bathroom mirror as she wiped the last of the blood from the corner of her mouth. It had gotten on her when she kissed him.

She had really overused her powers that day, killing Alastair and healing Dean.

Normally she waited until Castiel was there before she went to bed, but tonight she was too tired to care.

The next morning she woke up still feeling exhausted, sitting up and looking around the room she saw Castiel sitting in the usual chair.

"Good morning." She said groggily as she looked at him.

Standing up, he ignored her as he walked over and looked out of the window.

"What's wrong?" She asked, worried.

"You healed Dean Winchester?" He asked.

She was silent.

"I told you that no one can know you have that power." He said, as he turned and looked over at her.

Looking down at the bed she said, "I know."

"Then why did you do it?" He asked, he wasn't yelling but she could tell how mad he was.

"I did it because it was the right thing to do, Cas. He was suffering and in pain because of trying to help you. At the hospital you made it clear you weren't going to fix him… so I did." She stated.

"And it's not like he's going to tell any of the angels." She added in.

"I am risking punishment by keeping this secret and not reporting it to my superiors, Addison." He pointed out.

"Then why don't you just tell them? Get it over with? Aren't they going to come after me anyways when they find out I killed Uriel?" She asked.

"They won't find out you killed Uriel." Castiel said, looking at her.

"What?" She questioned.

"I took care of it." He told her. He had explained to his superiors what Uriel had been doing.

"His death was a result of his disobedience." Castiel added.

"I'm sorry for your being in this situation." She admitted.

"I am trying to keep you safe, in order to do that you have to listen to me." He said as he faced her.

"Okay." She said, as she nodded her head.

"Uriel was working against us, I don't know how many others in the garrison he got to…" Castiel mentioned, unable to believe any of his brothers or sisters would have joined him.

**)~()~(**

_**A/N - Thank you all for reading, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter!**_

_**I'm now 5 chapters into my newDean/OC fanfic titled, 'Love and Memories'. I'd appreciate it if you would take the time to check it out and let me know what you think. ^_^**_

**You guys have no idea how much I appreciate all of you who have added this story to your favorites, or subscribed for updates. Thank you! Please, take a few moments to leave a review. Even just a couple lines to let me know you are still reading and liking this story. ^_^**


	13. Art Show

**Part Thirteen.**

"_Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment." - Mahatma Gandhi_

* * *

><p>Addison smiled as she looked around the room full of people all dressed in their formal wear. Looking down at herself, she saw she was wearing a dark red dress with dark heels.<p>

Her hair was curled and pinned back at the sides, her make up and nails done.

Holding up her glass of champagne she said, "I want to thank you all for coming to my first art show! Growing up in Indiana, I always dreamed of my work making it's way to the big apple…" Her voice trailed off when she saw Castiel walking up from the crowd.

"Cas?" She asked, smiling widely at him.

As he walked up to her, she reached up and held onto his face as she pressed her lips against his, lightly letting her body lean against him.

Even though he came there to tell her something very important, he allowed himself to forget briefly as he held onto her. Cas thought about it quite often, how her lips felt against his. But it wasn't just her lips he thought of, he spent so much time worrying about her and just thinking about her.

He had never felt the way he did about her before, at times it scared him… he knew the dangers of developing feelings for a human. But it was too late, he was already attached to her and he wasn't sure to what extent but he knew she cared deeply for him also.

She proved it every time their lips met, he had been observing other humans and he knew most of the time, such frequent kissing was a sign of affection. And she had killed Uriel to save his life, a fluttering feeling rose in his stomach he was unsure of what it was and it startled him back to his senses.

Putting his hands on her upper arms he stepped back and looked at her.

"Addison we need to talk." He told her his tone serious.

"Okay… but not right now." She said her light green eyes wide as she nodded towards the crowd of people waiting on her speech.

Looking behind him, Castiel shook his head, "Addison… this isn't real."

"What are you talking about? Of course it's real…I worked so hard to get here!" She exclaimed angered.

"You're dreaming." He said, his blue eyes dark as he spoke to her.

"So I really didn't get my work featured in a New York art show?" She asked, shaking her head. It had been a long time since Castiel had came to talk to her in a dream.

"No." He said flatly, turning again to look around her dream.

"What's wrong? Why didn't you just wake me up instead of coming to my dream?" She asked him.

"I need you to meet me here." He said, handing her a folded piece of paper.

"I don't understand…" She said, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"Go now!" He said as he disappeared from her sight just as she woke up alarmed.

Jumping up she quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, sliding on her favorite dark green bomber style jacket, she grabbed her keys and ran from the hotel.

Addison pulled into the parking lot of an old abandoned warehouse. She wondered for a minute as she pulled a flashlight from her glove box, where these angels kept finding all these buildings.

The light was dim as she tapped the flashlight against the palm of her hand trying to make the light brighter before realizing her batteries were about dead.

After about ten minutes she saw some other lights shine across the room and she heard familiar voices.

"Sam? Dean?" She questioned, thankful they were there.

"Addison?" Dean said, shinning his light in her direction.

"Where's Cas?" Sam asked her.

"I don't know, but I'm freaking out. He told me in a dream to come here." She told them.

"Same here." Dean said.

As the three made their way through the building, Sam noted, "It looks like a bomb went off."

"No joke." Addison mumbled, feeling her stomach turn with worry as she looked around at all the destroyed metal.

"There was a fight here." Dean thought out loud.

"Between who?" Sam asked.

"Angels." Addison answered him.

"How do you know?" Dean asked looking at her.

"Look." She said, shining her light to some enochian symbols on the wall.

"Cas was fighting angels?" Sam asked.

"Oh my god!" Addison yelled, as she saw Castiel laying unconscious on the floor.

"Addison, watch out!" Dean yelled a few seconds too late as she tripped over some metal and cut her leg.

Ignoring the pain and blood now seeping through the thick fabric of her jeans, she got back up and ran over to his body.

"Cas!" Addison yelled as she shook him.

"Cas! Wake up!" Dean yelled as he also shook him.

"What's going on?" Castiel asked as Dean and Sam pulled him to his feet.

"Take it easy." Dean told him.

Addison watched with her green eyes wide, hoping Cas was okay.

"Castiel? I'm not Castiel… It's me." He said, looking at them.

"Who's me?" Sam asked.

"Jimmy." The man responded, revealing he was the vessel Castiel had possessed.

"Where the hell is Castiel?" Dean asked.

"Where is he?" Addison yelled, her voice high pitched.

Dean glanced over at her for a moment before looking back to Jimmy.

"He's gone." Jimmy told them.

"Oh my god! Gone? What do you mean gone? Is he alive? Is he okay?" Addison pushed him for answers.

"Addison." Dean said looking over at her and shaking his head. Clearly Jimmy was in a state of shock and had been through a lot.

As they got out to the car, Sam took Jimmy to the side to talk to him and Dean looked down at her leg.

"Where is Castiel?" She asked him.

"I know about as much as you do." He pointed out, raising an eyebrow at how concerned she seemed about him.

Pulling a bag from the trunk of his car and opening it he said, "Alright lets have a look at it."

"At what?" She asked confused.

Dean opened his mouth to inform her she was still bleeding from the deep gash on her leg.

"We need to find a way to get Cas back." She told him.

"Addison…" Dean tried to talk to her, but again she cut him off.

"I mean God knows where he is? What if the other angels are going to kill him… I mean I killed Uriel but who knows how many others he turned!" She rambled nervously.

"You killed Uriel?" Dean asked, surprised at the newly learned information.

"Shit, no one is supposed to know." She said, shaking her head in disappointment.

"Okay, Addison look, I need to stitch you up." He said, pointing at her leg.

"It's not that bad." She said, as her whole leg burned now that she knew it was injured.

"Yeah, it's that bad." He said, looking her in the eyes.

She watched as he pulled some surgical thread and a needle from the bag.

"I can heal it… remember?" She asked.

"No you can't. We don't know if we are being watched right now by angels… you said they'd kill you if they knew. Plus you need to save your strength, we don't know what we're going to be up against." He pointed out.

"I don't think this is necessary, Dean." She said, her lips pouty as he had her sit up on the trunk of his car and he raised her pant leg to look at the cut.

"Is this even sanitary?" She asked, pushing his hand away from her.

Pouring some alcohol over the wound he said, "It is now."

She gasped and gritted her teeth from the pain.

"Hold still." He said irritated as she squirmed around and kept trying to pull her leg back.

"I can't. It hurts." She said, glaring at him.

**)~()~(**

**A/N **_**- Thank you all very much for reading! I hope you are still liking this story, I really love writing this one! ^_^**_

_**For anyone who doesn't know, I've started a new Crowley/OC romance fic titled, 'Hard to Live in the City'. And I've posted the first chapter of another Crowley story, only it's not a romance one like my others it's titled, 'Providence'. If you haven't yet, you should check them out. You might by surprised... ^_^**_

**Please, take a moment or two and leave me a review. I appreciate the feedback so much, and I always love hearing from all of you. It means the world to me. ^_^**


	14. Jimmy

**Part Fourteen.**

"_Ability will never catch up with the demand for it." - Confucius_

* * *

><p>Addison sat at a table with Sam, Dean and Jimmy as they watched him eat.<p>

"Mind slowing down? You're gonna give me angina." Dean said.

"I'm hungry." Jimmy said with a mouth full of food.

"When was the last time you ate?" Sam asked him.

"I don't know… months." Jimmy said.

Addison thought about his statement, she hadn't ever seen him eat before.

"What happened to Cas?" Addison asked him again.

Dean shook his head and looked at her, wondering exactly how close she and Castiel had gotten.

"What happened back there? It looked like an angel battle royale." Sam asked him.

"All I remember is a flash of light and I…woke up and I was just ya know, like, me again." He said.

"Yeah, but that still doesn't tell me what happened to Cas. Was the light because they exorcised him… or was it worse?" She asked, her eyes wide.

She noticed whenever she spoke Jimmy would only glance at her for seconds at a time. She thought it was probably because he was aware they had kissed before when Castiel was possessing him.

"Do you remember anything about being possessed?" Sam asked.

Glancing for a few seconds at Addison, he looked down at the table quickly before answering Sam's question "Yeah, bits and pieces. I mean an angel inside of you it's kind of like being chained to a comet."

"Well that doesn't sound like much fun." Dean said sarcastically.

"Understatement." Jimmy stated.

"Cas said he wanted to tell us something… any idea what it was?" Sam asked.

Shaking his head and sighing, Jimmy said, "Sorry."

"What do you know?" Dean asked.

"My name is Jimmy Novak. I'm from Pontiac, Illinois." He said, pausing for a moment to look at Addison as he continued, "I have a wife, a family."

She looked away from his gaze and down at the table.

Standing outside with Sam and Dean, she listened as they talked.

"So, what do we do?" Sam asked his brother.

"What do you mean? The guys got a family. We buy him a bus ticket and send him home." Dean told him.

"What? No! We have to keep him because Cas is going to come back and he's going to need his vessel." Addison said, her words firm.

"What is going on with you?" Dean asked her.

"What are you talking about?" She asked.

"This man has done his time, you heard him say how awful it is being possessed by an angel. All you can think about is getting Cas back in him." Dean pointed out, his eyes accusing as he spoke.

"He is the only lead we've got." Sam pointed out.

"Yeah!" Addison exclaimed looking at Dean as Sam glanced over at her.

"Let's at least get him to Bobby's, maybe all he needs is hypnosis or a psychic." Sam said.

"And then maybe we can somehow call Cas and get him back." Addison said, her tone hopeful.

"Okay. I just… I have to ask this. What's going on between you and Castiel?" Dean asked her, not able to keep quiet any longer.

She gave him a confused look.

"I mean… are you…" He stopped not sure how to word it.

"He is my friend, Dean." She snapped.

"Is that all?" Dean asked, feeling like if it was anything more she might be a loose canon if a fight broke out.

Breaking the tension between them Sam said, "Back there… that was angel on angel violence. Now, I don't know what's going on, but it's big. And we can't just let the only lead we've got skip out."

Dean shook his head.

"What?" Sam and Addison both asked in unison.

"You… I don't even have a clue what's going on with you." Looking at Addison, before turning his attention to his younger brother, "and you… remember when our job was helping people? Like getting them back to their families?"

**~()~**

"What the hell are you talking about, I can't go home?" Jimmy asked them.

"You could be putting your family in danger. If you go home the demons will follow you and they could kill your family. Then all of their blood is on your hands." Addison said.

"Okay, time out." Dean said, shocked at her seeming so cold.

Sighing, she looked at Jimmy and said, "I'm sorry."

Jimmy avoided Addison's eyes as she spoke to him.

"I know I seem heartless right now, I'm really not meaning to. But I'm so worried about Cas, and something isn't right with all of this. I can feel it. I know you really don't want to hear this, but you are safest with us… and the best thing you can do for your family is steer clear. Until we can figure this all out." She said, her tone much softer as she spoke.

"How long?" He asked with a sigh.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there." Sam said.

**~()~**

"Dean! Would you hurry up?" Sam yelled as he quickly packed his bags.

Dean walked into the room brushing his teeth, not seeming like he was in a hurry at all as he chuckled a little.

"Sorry, uh. This is funny to you?" Sam asked.

"Mr. Big-Bad-Prison-Guard, Jimmy McMook gives you the slip? Yeah, it's pretty funny. What were you doing, anyway?" Dean asked.

"I told you I went to get a coke." Sam lied, he had really been taking the last few drops of demon blood he had left.

"Was it a refreshing coke?" Dean asked, still poking fun at his brother.

"Can we just go please?" Sam asked, annoyed and feeling on edge from the lack of demon blood.

Addison looked up from the corner of the bed she was sitting on.

Getting into the back seat of the car, she rode with Sam and Dean as they left to find Jimmy.

After they got Jimmy and his family. Sam told him he'd have to stay with them forever because of the demons.

As they were headed to a hotel, Jimmy's wife called him and they found out she was possessed.

**)~()~(**

**A/N **_**- Thank you all very much for reading! I hope you are still liking this story, I really love writing this one! ^_^**_

_**I've recently started a new Vampire Dairies fanfic, titled 'Born To Die'. If you're a fan of the show, I'd love for you to check it out and let me know what you think.**_

**Please, take a moment or two and leave me a review. I appreciate the feedback so much, and I always love hearing from all of you. It means the world to me. ^_^**


	15. Angel of the Lord

**Part Fifteen.**

"_A system of morality which is based on relative emotional values is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception which has nothing sound in it and nothing true." - Socrates _

* * *

><p>Addison watched as Castiel left Jimmy's daughters' body and reclaimed Jimmy. As Cas stood and walked past them, Addison said, "Cas… wait."<p>

He didn't respond.

"Cas, hold up!" Dean yelled

Slowly turning and facing them Cas looked at Dean as he asked, "What were going to tell me?"

"I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve heaven, I don't serve man and I certainly don't serve you." He said, before turning and walking away.

Getting out of the backseat of the Impala Addison somberly walked over to her blue Prius.

"You gonna be okay?" Dean asked her seeing how sad she was.

"I guess." She said, looking up at him for a minute.

"You know if you wanna come with us for a while…" He offered.

"No thanks." She politely declined his offer.

"With Cas being… well, a dick. Is he even going to still be protecting you?" Dean asked her.

"I guess that depends on whether heaven still thinks I'm valuable." She said, her eyes sad as she spoke.

"Maybe you should come with us." Sam said, looking from the open passenger window.

Again she declined their invitation and got into her car.

Looking down at the floor, Addison counted the bodies of the demons she had just killed, there were a total of seven. They had been waiting in her room when she got there. Quickly packing her bags, she loaded them into her car and drove off.

Turning the stations on the radio, she tried to think of a town to go to, but she was drawing a blank. Normally Cas had told her where they needed to head to, but now he was changed and she didn't know where he was.

She drove for a few hours before finally stopping at a small hotel in a town she wasn't even sure of the name.

After taking a shower and changing into her pajamas, she turned off the lights and slowly drifted off to sleep.

"Cas?" She asked, as she rubbed her eyes and saw him sitting at the foot of her bed.

Looking over his shoulder, he looked at her for a moment before looking away.

"How long have you been here?" She asked.

"All night." He stated.

"I'm surprised." She stated.

"My orders are still to keep you safe." He told her.

"What happened to you? Some sort of angel boot camp?" She asked, curious and hoping he'd open up to her.

"I let feelings get in the way of my orders, I needed to be reminded of who I serve and what I am." He told her.

"Cas, this is me you're talking to. I know you have doubts…" She started to remind him of how he had shared with her before, but he cut her off.

"I have no doubts." He said, his voice stony.

Scooting down to the foot of the bed, she took his hand in hers and said, "You don't have to be like this around me. It's okay."

Pulling his hand from hers, and trying to ignore the strong feelings he still had for her he said, "I am an angel of the lord. You… are human. I'm only doing my job protecting you for the greater purpose."

Her face contorted in pain.

"You can't look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't feel something for me, Cas. We've been around each other constantly for months… we're friends. No, in all honesty… we are more than just friends…" She said, trying to get him to stop treating her the way he was.

Reaching back out, she placed her hand on the side of his face and made him face her, "I care about you… and I know you feel the same way. You've told me."

Pulling his face from her hand he stood and said, "I was mistaken."

"You were mistaken? Why are you lying to me?" She asked, infuriated.

"I feel nothing for you Addison." He told her, trying to convince himself of that.

"You're lying." She said, tears stung her eyes.

"If that was the truth, I'd be dead right now. You would have told them that I can heal and about how I killed Uriel. But you didn't, which means that you are still going against your orders to protect me." She pointed out.

He was silent.

Shaking her head as a few tears ran down her face, she said "Get out of my hotel room."

"What?" He asked her confused.

"Incase you've failed to notice Cas, I don't hardly have any friends. But I refuse to surround myself with liars, you were so much better than the rest of the angels pretending to be righteous. I know that whatever it was you were going to tell Dean was important, are you going to tell me what it was?" She asked.

"I don't serve man." He reminded her.

"Then get out, I can protect myself. I don't need you anymore." She said,

"I have orders…" He started to talk, but she cut him off.

"To protect me, yeah I know. But I can't be around you right now." She said, shaking her head.

"You don't have a choice." He said.

"Don't I? I've memorized the blood spell to send you angels into never land." She snapped.

He cocked his head to the side wondering if she would use it on him.

"Or I could always make my abilities known…"She threatened.

"That would be suicide." He told her, taking a step towards her.

"Maybe. Or maybe I'll take the angels out that come after me." She threatened more.

He looked at her for a little while longer before disappearing from the room.

It had been almost a week since she had seen Castiel, she was killing demons, moving locations and keeping herself alive. She had talked to Dean quite a few times on the phone and she knew Sam had taken off with the demon, Ruby.

After trying to call Dean several times she knew something was wrong, and she found the number Dean had given her to call if she was in trouble.

"Hello?" An older man said as he answered the phone.

"Is this Bobby Singer?" She asked.

"Who is this?" He asked her.

"Dean gave me this number incase I was in trouble and couldn't get a hold of him." She said.

"Addison?" Bobby asked. Dean had told him all about her.

"Yeah, I was calling to see if Dean had heard anything else about what the angels might be planning. I've still got nothing." She told him honestly.

Addison's eyes widened as Bobby told her Dean had just disappeared from the room right in front of his eyes.

"It's got to be the angels… It has to be." She said.

"Any idea on what we can do?" Bobby asked.

"There's a prophet Castiel told me about… Chuck. I'm a few hours away from his house, I'm going to head over there and see what he knows." She told him as she grabbed her keys and headed for the door of her hotel room.

"Call me if you know anything." Bobby told her.

"Same." She said as she hung up the phone.

**)~()~(**

_**A/N – Thank you for reading the 15th **__**chapter! ^_^ I really hope everyone liked it! ^_^**_

_**Did you all hear the good news? Supernatural got renewed for an 8**__**th**__** season, and it will consist of 24 episodes! ^_^**_

**Please take the time to leave a review and let me know you are still liking and reading the story. Those 'review alert emails' would make my weekend! ^_^**


	16. I'll Hold Them Off

**Part Sixteen.**

"_I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent." - Marilyn Monroe_

* * *

><p>"Hello?" Addison called out as she walked into the house belonging to the prophet Chuck.<p>

Looking around the messy house, she started to wonder if he was there when a man walked down the stairs and looked at her startled.

"Chuck?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow. He was not at all what she expected a prophet to look like.

"Who are you?" He asked nervously.

"Addison." She said, still taken aback at his un-imposing stature.

"What are you doing here? No one is supposed to be here." He said.

"I need to know what happened to Dean." She told him.

Chuck explained everything that he knew and how the angels had threatened his life if he told Dean.

"Oh my god!" We've got to stop them." She told him.

"It's too late, we can't do anything but sit here and let it happen." He told her.

"I refuse to accept that." She said, her green eyes intense.

"What are you doing to do then?" He asked her.

She shook her head, at the moment she was powerless and hated the feeling.

Hours later, Addison sat a the table in Chuck's kitchen as he paced nervously on the phone.

"Can't you go in the other room?" He asked.

"And miss you trying to hire high end prostitutes? Not a chance." She said, laughing at him.

"I'm not…" He stopped knowing it was no use lying.

"Hey, whatever floats your boat. I mean the world is ending… why not live a little." She said, still laughing.

"Addison? What are you doing here?" Cas asked as he and Dean appeared in Chuck's kitchen.

She looked at him, her eyes growing dark, "You knew the angels were going to let Sam start the apocalypse… and you didn't do anything about it?"

"I am trying." He told her, his blue eyes showing emotion to her for the first time since he'd been back from heaven.

Chuck explained everything to Cas and Dean.

"But you guys aren't supposed to be there… you're not in this story." He told them.

"Yeah well, we're making it up as we go." Castiel said, looking at Chuck for a moment before focusing on Addison.

She smiled, the Cas she had grown so close to was back.

It wasn't much longer that the house started to shake and rumble.

"Oh man! Not again!" Chuck exclaimed.

"Dean! It's the archangel, I'll hold him off, I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!" Castiel yelled as he put his hand on Dean's head and ported him to St. Mary's convent.

The shaking grew more intense as the rumbling got louder, bright light started to seep in from the windows and every other possible source.

Looking over at him, Addison shook her head no, knowing the archangel would kill him.

"Addison, I'm sorry." Castiel told her, his apology sincere as he spoke.

"Can't you just run?" She asked, stepping forward and facing him.

Shaking his head no, he said, "It's too late to run."

"Don't say that." She said, a few tears sliding down her face. She had just gotten him back, and now she was faced with his immanent death.

"You need to go, it's dangerous." He told her as the archangel closed in.

"I'm not leaving Cas." She told him, as she reached up and put a shaky hand on the side of his face.

Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to her lips, raising up and pushing her body lightly against his, she deepened their kiss.

Pulling back he looked in her eyes one more time before he pushed her back so the archangel wouldn't destroy her trying to get to him.

With the light so bright it felt like it was burning her retinas, she had to closer her eyes and put her arm over her face.

After a few minutes, the shaking stopped and she slowly moved her arm and looked around the now blood misted kitchen.

"No… no…no." She breathed out shaking her head knowing who's blood was all over the room, and all over her.

"Addison?" Chuck said, taking a few steps towards her.

Shaking her head back and forth, she backed across the kitchen until her back hit a far wall and she slid down until she was sitting on the floor.

"Hey… are you hurt?" Chuck asked her, not sure what to do.

She didn't respond, just kept staring at the destroyed, dishevel, bloody mess of a kitchen.

Looking down at her arms she saw she was also covered in Castiel's blood.

Tears stung her eyes and she tried to wipe it off of her skin. But it was still fresh and all she did was manage to smear the blood around.

"Oh my god." She breathed out as her chin quivered. He was gone, really gone this time, and she felt more alone than ever before.

**)~()~(**

_**A/N – Sorry it's such a short chapter! I've been so busy! But within the next few weeks things should start to calm down and I'll be back to writing and updating like normal.**_

**Please, take a few moments to leave a review and let me know if you are still reading and enjoying the story. I appreciate the feedback so much!**


	17. Angels, Demons and Deals

**Part Seventeen.**

"_Eternal truth, eternal righteousness, eternal love; these only can triumph, for these only can endure." – Joseph Barber Lightfoot_

* * *

><p>Addison lifted her head from her knees and looked around the destroyed kitchen when she heard familiar voices in the other room.<p>

Footsteps neared the kitchen when she heard Chuck say, "I'm glad you guys are here… We've got a problem."

"What kind of a problem?" She heard Sam ask.

"Addison?" Dean questioned as he looked at the blood spattered girl.

She didn't say anything. She wanted to tell Dean she was happy he and Sam were still alive, but her tongue couldn't form the words.

"Are you hurt?" Dean asked as he knelt down beside her.

"Cas… is dead." She muttered, shaking her head again before resting it back on her knees as her eyes stung from crying.

Dean looked up to Chuck, who shook his head. "She hasn't moved since…"

"They're coming… the angels." Addison said, looking around the kitchen.

"Oh crap." Chuck said nodding his head.

"Damnit." Dean muttered as he quickly scrawled the enochain angel banishing blood spell on the back of the sliding kitchen door.

Moments later, Addison was pulled to her feet by two angels.

"Thought I'd find you here." Zachariah said, as he kicked some rubble around on the floor.

**((A Few Days Later))**

Addison stood in the room the angels had been holding her in.

"Nephilim, more trouble than they were ever worth." Zachariah said as he looked down at the bodies of the two angels who were supposed to be guarding her.

Addison' s breathing was heavy as blood poured down her face from her nose.

"I think you can see Addison, how it's inconceivable that I can let you live now…" Zachariah said walking towards her, narrowing her eyes at him she brought him to his knees in pain, before her concentration was broken as she coughed up blood.

Quickly, regaining his now staggering walk towards her, it didn't take much energy for him to kill the weakened girl.

**((Over A Month Later))**

Addison dropped to her knees on the burning hot cracked floor of Hell, beside the demon she had just killed.

Her powers were drastically weakened in the underworld, she spent most of her time running and hiding in caves or tunnels; trying to avoid the demons who stalked her, to string her back up for more torture.

Holding her breath she closed her eyes and listened, aside from the blood curdling painful screams from human souls that always thickly filled the air she heard footsteps.

"Damnit." She breathed as she weakly rose to her feet and quickly walked away from the approaching demon.

She kept her eyes down, carefully watching the ground beneath her at any moment one could walk right over the edge of a cliff and tumble to a deep pit. That had happened to her a few times, after plummeting into sweltering heat and live flames, she'd black out and wake up to find herself strung up for more torture.

She stopped and looked at a wide river of blood in front of her, hearing the footsteps getting closer she took a deep breath and slid underneath the surface of the thick red of the river.

She held her breath for as long as she possibly could, before she finally pushed her head back above the surface and took a deep sputtering breath of the humid, dry air as she wiped the red from her eyes.

Addison looked around panicked, she felt eyes on her but didn't see anyone.

Swimming through the blood river, she pulled herself out on the other side. Her nose wrinkled in disgust as she now had foul smelling, yellow sulfur sand caked on her blood covered body and clothes.

She trekked along for what felt like days, but was really only a few hours until she carefully crossed a narrow flowing river of hot lava.

Taking another look behind her, she crawled down inside of a tunnel and didn't stop moving until she came out the other side.

The rotten egg smell of the sulfur, made her gag repeatedly. Her eyes surveyed the vast fire and ruin ridden land before stopping on a waterfall several hundred feet in front of her.

A marvelous sight it was, but a sickening feeling rose from the pit of her stomach. She knew the water pouring over the black jagged rocks was hot enough to burn right through her flesh within seconds.

With her eyes fixed on the water, she walked up to the edge of the downward water stream.

Tears poured down her face at the thought of the excruciating pain she was about to endure, but she had to wash the sulfur off.

Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and jumped under the boiling hot water, for only a few moments before she collapsed back on the ground, screaming in pain as she looked at her burnt and blistered flesh. The bone in her lower arm was visible as all the skin and muscle had been scalded off.

Slowly, her body started to heal itself until no traces of the burns were visible.

Once the pain had subsided enough, she pulled herself to her feet until she found a large cave and rested against the hot interior rock wall.

"I was wondering when you'd reach your limit and have to rest." A demon said as he walked into the cave holding an ancient looking torch of fire for light.

"Stay back demon… or I will kill you." She said, making her voice sound much stronger than she felt.

"Ah. Yes, of course…" The demon said with a smirk as he sat the torch in a hollow crevasse on the cave wall.

"You've been making quite a name for yourself here." The demon said, his Scottish accent deeper with every word he spoke.

Addison knew no one in Hell knew what she was; they all thought she had been a hunter in life. And she hadn't argued, it was better they think that of her, then to know she was a Nephilim.

"So my reputation as a hunter precedes me?" She asked, trying to buy time to get her strength back, at the moment she was completely vulnerable.

The confident smirk on his lips grew as he spoke, "Addison, I know what you really are. A Nephilim."

She swallowed hard.

"You've been following me? Why?" She asked, knowing this demon had to have been doing quite a bit of research on her.

"What would you give to walk on the earth again?" Crowley asked her, adjusting his business suit.

"Not a damn thing." Addison responded.

Crowley's smirk fell a little. "Not the way I pictured this conversation going." He admitted.

"Why would I want to go back? The angels will find me and kill me again, hurling me right back into the pit." She reasoned

"How long do you think you've been dead?" Crowley asked her.

"Years." She answered.

"A little over a month. Time is different here…" He explained.

"I have nothing to go back for." She sulked.

"Is that so? Not even your fallen angel?" He questioned.

"What are you talking about?" She asked him, confused.

"Castiel." Crowley pointed out.

"Is dead." Addison said her lip curled in anger.

"He's alive." Crowley said, his voice showing annoyance.

"He was blown to smithereens right in front of my eyes. He's dead." Addison pointed out.

"Your angel boy is alive… palling around with the Winchesters as we speak. Not much of an angel these days, no powers." Crowley revealed.

"You're lying." She snarled.

"I'm offering you a way out of the pit…" He admitted his reason for the visit.

"I want the devil dead… or at least put back into his cage." Crowley told her.

"Why? Are you going to tell me you're smarter than the other black eyed scum? That you've realized once Lucifer is done smiting humanity, demons are next?" Addison asked, she had plenty of time to do some thinking.

"He is an angel after all." Crowley said his head cocked slightly to the side at her, surprised she had come to the same revelation as he did.

"You're a demon, there is no way you can help me." She pointed out, not entirely sure why he would even bring it up.

"I'm the king of the crossroads." Crowley proudly exposed his title.

"Congratulations, what do you want a pat on the back, because I'm fresh out of first place ribbons." She said, angered at this demon toying with her.

"If you're going to drag me back to the torture chamber… just do it." Addison said, sighing as she ran her fingers through her tangled hair.

"I can make a deal with you, bring you back to life…" Crowley pointed out as he rolled his eyes slightly upward in annoyance at her.

"And you'd do that…why?" Addison asked.

"I like the world the way it is… I'm in sales." Crowley pointed out to the girl.

"And what? I get ten years above the surface and then my soul is hurled back to here?" She questioned.

"You can keep your soul." He explained.

"Then what's in it for you?" She asked.

"You help the Winchester's kill Lucifer, and I get to continue living the way I am." Crowley pointed out.

"And?" She asked knowing he wanted more.

"Your protection, if I need it. I figure it won't be long before everyone knows I'm playing for the opposing team." Crowley admitted,

"What makes you so sure that I won't kill you?" She asked.

"Terms of the deal. If you try to rise against me, you'll be struck down… right back in the pit. And your secret revealed to every single demon here. You think Hell is hard when they think you're just human? Imagine the tortures if they were to find out you're a Nephilim?" He asked.

"So… you're going to make a deal with me… bring me back to life, and let me go as long as I help you if an angry mob of demons come chasing you, and if I try to kill you its going to nullify the deal and I go back to Hell?" Addison asked, shocked.

"Bingo." Crowley said, extending a hand to where she was still sitting on the floor.

Placing her hand in his, he effortlessly pulled her to her feet.

"What's the catch?" she asked, pulling her hand from his as she now stood and faced him in the flickering light from the flaming torch illuminating the dark cave.

"No catch... come on Addison, what have you got to lose?" He asked her.

She was silent for a moment as she considered it.

"Addison?" He questioned.

"Deal." She responded, sighing in defeat.

Smiling, he put a hand on the back of her head and pulled her face forward until their lips met.

**)~()~(**

_**A/N – Thank you all very much for reading the update! I hope you all loved it!**_

**Please leave a review and let me if you're still reading and enjoying the story! I will keep the updates coming as quickly as possible as long as I know there is still interest in a certain story. ^_^**


	18. Time To Think

**Part Eighteen.**

"_In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing." - Mignon McLaughlin_

* * *

><p>Addison looked around the storage unit where her car was stored, before looking over at the demon that had just pulled her from Hell with him.<p>

Opening the back door she pulled her bag of weapons and a bag of clothes from the seat, before glancing up at the ceiling. Smiling she mumbled, "Thanks, Chuck."

"Pardon?" Crowley asked, unsure of what she had just said.

"I need you to take me to Sam and Dean." She said, slinging the bags over her shoulder.

"I pulled you out of the pit… that's as far as my help goes." He told her.

"Why?" She asked, her nose wrinkling in frustration.

"They are demon hunters. I'm a demon." Crowley explained.

Clearing her throat, Addison took a few steps back and looked up to the low cement ceiling of the storage unit with a devils trap sprawled above her car.

She had last left her car at Chuck's, she figured he must have put it in storage knowing she would come back.

"Bollocks." Crowley exclaimed, his face showed every ounce of irritation and frustration.

"I'm not asking you to show yourself to them. All I need is for you to take me near them… please." She asked.

"What's my alternative?" Crowley asked her.

"Wait here until I call them…" She responded, smiling smugly at him.

"Fine, I'll take you." He said, watching as she climbed up on top of her car and broke the paint on the ceiling.

**(())**

"That bar." Crowley said, motioning with a hand to a small town bar across the street.

"Thank you." She said, her words so honest, he paused for a moment before disappearing in front of her eyes.

As Addison crossed the street, she saw a girl handcuffed to the bar through the windows.

Looking around the empty street, she pulled a loaded handgun from her bag and entered the bar.

She looked as two men had Sam pinned down and they were trying to make him drink from a tube of demon blood.

Addison, looked up and shot a ceiling tile a few feet away from them.

Both men jumped to their feet and looked at her.

"Leave Sam alone." She said, narrowing her eyes at them.

"Addison?" Sam asked, shocked to see her. The angels had told them she was dead.

"Who the hell are you?" One of the men asked.

"You've got less than a minute to get your asses out of here… or I'll blow them away." She said, her tone serious.

Reluctantly the men started towards the door.

"Don't think we won't be back." One of the hunters said.

"Don't think I won't be here." Sam said to them, glancing back over at Addison.

**(())  
><strong>Addison brushed through her freshly washed hair and breathed in a deep breath of the fresh air from the open window in Sam's room.

Sitting down at the table, she started to eat the pizza Sam had ordered. Looking down at her arm, she saw the small cut Sam had made with a silver blade.

"I don't think I've ever been this hungry!" She exclaimed with a mouth half full of food.

"Zachariah told us you were dead." Sam said as he took a seat across from her and watched as she drank an entire glass of ice water in one drink.

"Yeah, because he killed me…" Addison said, shaking her head at the thought.

"What? Why?" Sam asked her.

"I killed some angels… with my powers. I almost got him too, but I wasn't strong enough. So he killed me and I've been in Hell ever since."

"Oh my god. How did you get out?" Sam asked.

"I made a deal with a demon. Not for my soul, but he brought me back because he wants me to help you and Dean kill the devil." She explained.

"That doesn't make any sense." Sam said his face contorted with confusion.

"I know. But right now I'm so thankful to be out of the pit… that I don't even really care." She admitted.

"Sam… is… Castiel…?" Addison started to ask, but stopped when she feared the answer.

"He's alive Addison." Sam told her with a warm smile.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

Taking out a piece of paper, Sam wrote down a number and slid it to her.

"We have to use a cell to reach him now, though. He's…" Sam started to explain when Addison cut him off.

"Doesn't hardly have any powers… the demon told me." She admitted.

"What demon?" Sam asked.

"The one who brought me back… I don't know his name. All I know is he speaks with some British or Scottish accent. Oh, and he said he's the king of the crossroads… but I don't know if he was even telling the truth." She admitted.

**(())**

Addison looked around her new hotel room, and out the window at the setting sun before picking up the cellphone that Sam had lent her.

Dialing the number, she held her breath until the ringing stopped and a familiar voice said, "Sam?"

"Cas?" She asked, finally taking a breath.

"Addison. You're alive." Castiel said as he appeared in the room with her.

"So are you." She said, a pained expression on her face as she remembered the last time she had seen him.

Crossing her room he put a hand on her side, causing her to double over in pain as it felt like her ribs were on fire.

"What did you do?" She asked through gritted teeth as she stood back up.

"I had to carve enochian coding into your ribs to hide you from the angels." Castiel told her.

"Oh." She said, with an arm still crossed over herself.

"I tried to get to you… but I'm not as strong as I was. I couldn't even get into Hell." Castiel told her, his blue eyes stared deep into her misty light green eyes.

"It's okay." She said as a tear slipped down the side of her face.

Their faces moved together until their lips met. Reaching up she held onto his head and neck, pulling him even closer to her. His arms wrapped around her, holding her close to him.

Pulling back he looked into her eyes again, he had always felt something when he kissed her; but now that he was cut off from Heaven, an entirely new range of human emotions for her flooded through him.

"Are you okay?" She asked him, a little alarmed by the look in his eyes.

"Yes." He barely got the word out, before smashing his lips against hers again pulling her closer to him, as their kiss deepened.

**(())**

"I don't understand why a demon would have helped you." Castiel admitted, as Addison finished explaining how she escaped Hell.

"Me either, but the point is… I'm out." She said, as Cas took a seat on the bed beside her.

"I warned you about letting anyone know of your other powers." Castiel reminded her.

"I know, but I had just lost you and I didn't really care what happened to me. It was stupid and foolish… but I'm back." She said as she smiled and leaned forward, pressing her lips against his again.

"Addison, I just…" Sam's voice trailed off as he stood in the doorway of her hotel room.

Addison quickly pulled her face away from Castiel, breaking their kiss as she stood from the edge of the bed they were sitting on.

"Umm, sorry… the door was unlocked. I didn't think... I." He stopped with a confused look on his face as she looked at him with pink cheeks.

"Sam." Castiel greeted him as he stood beside Addison.

The room was silent, before Castiel looked at Addison. "I need to speak to Dean. I'll be back."

After he was gone, Sam raised an eyebrow at her. "Just friends, huh?"

"It's complicated." Addison said, brushing some hair out of her face.

"So what sends you barging into my room in the middle of the night?" She asked him.

Sam explained the encounter he had just had with Lucifer.

"It makes sense." She stated.

"I tell you I'm the devil's true vessel, and all you can say is it makes sense?" Sam asked, as he sat down at the small table in her hotel room.

"Think about it, Dean is the Michael sword. Michael is the archangel who struck Lucifer down in the first place. They were brothers, it's twisted… but it makes sense that you would be Lucifer's vessel. It makes sense for it to end how it began… with you and Dean." Addison explained her reasoning.

"Anyways, what did Dean say?" Addison asked her green eyes sad.

"Nothing, he doesn't know yet." Sam admitted.

"Ugh! This whole thing is so wrong. You need to call him and he needs to ask you to come back to hunting with him." Addison said, rubbing her tired eyes.

"Go, call Dean." Addison said, as she walked with Sam back to her hotel door and opened it.

Sam stopped, and looked at her. "So… you and Cas…?"

"Go!" She exclaimed as she pushed him out of the door.

**(())**

Addison gripped the steering wheel of the car she had just stolen as she headed down the interstate towards Kansas City. She had just called and gotten Dean's address from Castiel.

"Hello?" She answered her phone.

"Addison? Hey, where are you?" Sam asked.

"I'm headed to where Dean is staying, talk some sense into him. The only way we are going to fight the angels and the devil, is if we stick together." She admitted.

"How are you getting to him, did Cas take you?" Sam questioned.

"No, he said he wouldn't take to me see Dean until he's slept for four hours." Addison said, rolling her eyes.

"I stole a car." Addison admitted.

"You… stole a car?" Sam questioned.

"I looked up videos online, it took a few tries… but I finally got one hotwired." She admitted, feeling rather proud of herself for the newly learned talent.

"Make sure you switch cars every so often, in case the law starts looking for it. And only go for later model cars, a lot of newer ones have G.P.S, and some even have tracking devices in case of car theft." Sam explained.

"Got it. Thanks Sam." She said as she hung up the phone.

Parking the car a few blocks away from the hotel, she headed inside until she found his room.

"Addison, what are you doing here?" Dean asked, groggily as he held the door open.

"It's really me, I promise… Sam did all the tests." Addison explained.

"I know, Cas told me." Dean said with a yawn.

"You and Sam need to team back up. The only way we are going to fight this, is to stick together." Addison said as she sat down on the side of the bed and looked at him as he lay back down on the other side.

"You don't get it; Sam and I are the oil and fire of the apocalypse. We need to stay worlds apart for that very reason." Dean said as he put his arm over his eyes to block the light from the lamp.

"I get it, Sam really hurt you…" Addison said, crossing her legs in front of her as she faced towards him.

"Oh come on." Dean sighed, wishing he could go back to sleep.

"I get it; it's not manly or whatever to admit that you're in pain. But I can totally see it; Sam betrayed you… ranked a demon over his own brother. There's not really an excuse for that." Addison said.

"Yeah." Dean said, his eyes locked on mildew spot on the ceiling tile.

"But, he wasn't himself… he was on demon blood, and in some messed up way he really thought he was saving the world. You don't know how bad he feels about it." Addison tried to reason.

"Shouldn't he feel bad?" Dean questioned, irritated.

"It's not entirely his fault, do you really not see how much we all played a part in raising the devil?" She asked.

When he was silent, Addison continued her speech she had practiced on the way there. "I'm not pointing fingers, or laying blame here, but Sam was able to break the last seal because the first one was broken by someone else… by you. I don't blame you, Dean. I was in Hell; no one can imagine the torture that exists there. I'm not innocent in the entire thing either, look at how long I followed the angel's orders. I found out several of the supposed accomplishments I made in killing mass numbers of demons at once were also seals. This is one gigantic mess that we all had a hand in making, and now it's time for us to clean it all back up. Together."

"It's not that easy." Dean said, propping up on one side and looking at her.

"I didn't say it was going to be easy… but we don't stand a chance trying to fight heaven and hell without each other. It'd be suicide." She pointed out.

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when he saw her face go pale.

"Addison? What's wrong?" Dean asked her.

"They know we're here… how did they find us?" Addison asked her green eyes wide with fear.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked her.

"I don't want to go back; I can't go back to hell." She said, as she franticly looked around the room.

**)~()~(**

**A/N – **_**Thanks for reading! I know updates have been slow, but I'm in the process of moving and life has been nuts! I'm doing my best to keep the updates coming with my most popular stories.**_

**If you are still reading and liking this story, please take a few moments to leave a review and let me know! I could really use the cheering up right now. And like I mentioned I'm focusing more on my most popular stories at the moment. You guys really have no idea how much your kind words keeps my inspiration flowing. **

_**XO**_


	19. New Abilities

**Part Nineteen.**

"_Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." – Soren Kierkegaard _

* * *

><p>"Addy, come on…wake up." Dean said as she shook the girl awake.<p>

"What happened?" She asked as he pulled her to her feet and she looked around the demolished hotel room.

"I don't know." Dean answered honestly as he looked around.

"It looks like a bomb went off…" Addison said, her words trailing off as she tried to remember how they had gotten there.

"Angels." Addison said her eyes wide.

"What?" Dean asked her as he turned around from the window.

"The last thing I remember… the angels were coming. They must have zapped us here…wherever here is." She finished her thoughts.

"Come on, we gotta get out of here." Dean said, as he headed for the door.

"Oh my god." She breathed out, as she walked with Dean outside to the demolished and singed town.

"It looks like a nuke went off." Dean thought out loud as he kicked some rubble around with his shoe.

"Dean… it looks like every apocalypse movie I've ever seen." Addison said as she stared at the abandoned cars.

"Great." He muttered as they started to make their way through the town.

Together in silence they walked the streets of the town looking for any sign of life.

Upon hearing some glass break they followed the noise into an ally way where a little girl was sitting on the ground.

"Little girl!" Dean yelled, trying to get her attention.

"Shut up! Are you nuts? When you're in a ghost town and you come across a creepy little girl, you run the other way; you don't approach her!" Addison said, looking at Dean in disbelief.

"Calm down, maybe she can at least tell us where we are." Dean said, irritated at her.

"Have you never seen horror movies?" Addison mumbled as Dean took a few steps towards the girl.

"Are you hurt?" Dean asked as she walked even closer to her.

"She probably has rabies!" Addison exclaimed from where she stood.

"You know the not talking thing is kind of creepy right?" Dean asked, with a small smile as he started to kneel down beside her.

Addison shook her head and looked around the ally to make sure no one was sneaking up on them.

In a split second the girl yelled, and grabbed a jagged piece of glass up from the ground, swinging it at Dean.

Addison watched as Dean hit the girl and knocked her out.

"I tried to tell you." Addison said, crossing her arms over her chest as she walked up to Dean.

"Dean… what's croatoan?" Addison asked as she looked to a big spray painted word.

Turning around Dean saw what she was reading and said, "Oh crap."

"Oh crap? Oh crap what?" She asked worried at his facial expression.

As Dean saw a group of croatoan infested men come around the corner he said, "We need to run. Now!"

Addison kept her pace well with Dean as the two ran from the group of men.

As they were stopped by a tall fence, Addison looked at Dean her green eyes wide "What the hell do we do now?"

Before Dean could answer, all of the men who were chasing them started to fall to the ground as shots rang out and filled the air.

"Get down!" Dean yelled at her as he instinctively hit the ground.

Almost in complete unison Addison dropped to the ground and covered her head.

She was afraid to look up, and all she could hear was The Contour's hit song _Do You Love Me_, mixed in the with bullets racing through the air.

Dean grabbed her and pulled her to the side through a broken fence and into another ally way.

Addison sat down on the cold cement ground and checked her arms legs and torso for any bullet holes.

"Are you hit?" Dean asked, looking at her concerned.

"I really don't think so." She told him, as she wrapped her arms around herself and tried to catch her breath.

After a few moments of silence, and once the gunshots and music stopped, Addison said, "I'll never be able to watch Dirty Dancing again."

Dean laughed and shook his head in disbelief at her reaction.

**((The Next Morning))**

Addison came to inside a cabin in Camp Chitaqua to the sound of Dean talking. She kept still but opened one eye slightly to see that the man who had knocked them out was future Dean from 2014.

Without drawing attention to herself she closed her eye back, and pretended to still be unconscious as she listened to them talking.

After future Dean said he had to run an errand, Addison heard heavy footsteps stop right in front of her.

"Addison!" future Dean yelled as he knelt down beside her.

She kept her breathing calm and steady and gave no sign of being awake.

Dean grabbed her chin and roughly shook her head to see if she was awake, she let her head move limply with his hand.

Satisfied with believing she was still knocked out, future Dean left.

A few minutes later Addison opened her eyes and looked around the cabin, concentrating, she used her mind to pop open the handcuff that secured her arm to a pipe.

"You're awake!" Dean exclaimed as she waved her hand and broke the lock on his handcuff.

"I have been this whole time, we've got to the hell out of here and back to 2009." She said as they made their way out of the cabin.

"Hey Dean, Hey Addy. You guys got a second?" Chuck asked as he walked up to them.

"Hey Chuck!" Addison said, smiling at him.

"Hi. Listen, we're pretty good on canned goods for now but were down to nothing on perishables and hygiene supplies. People are not going to be happy about this. So, what do you think we should do?" Chuck asked them.

"I don't know… maybe share? You know, like in a kibbutz." Dean said.

"Wait, aren't you both supposed to be out on a mission right now?" chuck asked them.

"Absolutely, and I will be." Dean said nodding.

"Is Castiel still here?" Addison asked, Chuck.

"Yeah, I don't think Cas is going anywhere." Chuck said, with a laugh.

"Great." Addison said, nodding.

"But why do you want to talk to him?" Chuck asked her confused.

"I… Wait, why wouldn't I?" Addison asked more confused than Chuck was.

"You two never talk." Chuck pointed out.

"We'll catch you later Chuck." Dean said, as he motioned for Addison to come with him.

**(())**

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Addison asked Castiel at the same time Dean asked him, "What are you a hippie?"

"I thought you had gotten over trying to label me." Castiel said, as he stood and stretched.

"Cas, we gotta talk." Dean said as they walked over to him.

"Whoa, strange." Castiel said, looking back and forth at them.

"You are not you- not now you anyway." Castiel pointed out looking at Dean, before briefly glancing at Addison with a slight look of longing in his eyes.

"We're from 2009!" Addison explained, looking around the inside of the cabin.

"Did Zachriah do this to you?" Castiel asked them.

"Yeah." Dean said.

"Interesting…" Castiel said, as he looked at them.

After listening to Castiel laugh and admit to being stoned, Addison shook her head.

"what happened to you?" Addison asked, looking at him.

"Life." Castiel responded.

"I… need some air." Addison breathed out as she turned and left the cabin.

"Hey! Look out!" Dean yelled as he ran past Addison when he saw his future self shoot another camp member.

An eerie silence ran through the camp as everyone saw both Dean's.

**(())(())**

"Wow… Cas wasn't kidding was he?" Future Addison asked as she walked into the cabin and looked at the younger versions of her and Dean.

Addison looked at the version of herself 4 years in the future. Her clothes a little dirty from the last mission, and her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail.

"I was getting worried." Future Dean said, as he walked up and slid an arm around her planting a short, but sweet kiss on her lips.

"Well, I did have the harder mission." Future Addison pointed out as she seemed completely focused on him and not their younger selves.

"Did you get it?" Future Dean asked her.

Smiling a brilliant smile, she reached into her bag and pulled out a gun handing it to him.

"The colt?" Present day Dean asked, walking up to them.

"So… you two… are…?" Present day Addison asked, looked back and forth at them.

"Yeah, we are." Future Addison answered her.

Future Dean explained that for 5 years the demons had been moving the Colt around, and that they had finally found it.

**(())(())(())**

"So that's what we've been looking for, that's the Colt?" A camp survivor asked as they gathered in a cabin to plan out their attack.

As the camp members talked over a plan, present day Addison looked between her future self and Castiel, wondering what must have happened between them.

"How do we know the demon who told you where Lucifer is, wasn't lying?" A camp survivor asked them.

"He wasn't lying." Future Addison told them, as she looked over at future Dean with sadness.

"Our fearless leader, I'm afraid is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth." Castiel said.

Future Addison sighed heavily with irritation. "Yeah, well at least he's getting somewhere. All you do is waste your time using all the pharmaceutics we gather."

"Stop it you two, we've got a big mission tonight." Future Dean commanded as he looked between them.

Present day Addison was shocked to see that just 5 years in the future her and Castiel couldn't even be in the same room without fighting.

Displaying a map with a dark red circle future Dean said, "Lucifer is here, now. I know the block, I know the building."

"Oh good. It's right in the middle of a hot zone." Castiel thought out loud.

"Crawling with croats. You saying my plan is reckless?" Future Dean asked him.

"Are you saying we walk in, up the driveway past the Croats and the demons and shoot the devil?" Castiel asked.

"Yes." Both future Dean and future Addison answered at the same time.

"If you don't like reckless, I could use insouciant maybe." Castiel said.

"How about these words Cas… useless, powerless…" Future Addison said, glaring at him.

"What the hell is your problem, he is not useless or powerless!" Present day Addison exclaimed looking at her future self.

Castiel laughed and looked up at present day Addison as he said, "I liked past you so much better."

**((()))(())**

"This place should be white hot with Croats." Future Dean pointed out as present day Dean and Addison looked around.

"They cleared a path for us… they know we're coming." Future dean explained.

"It's a trap?" Present day Addison pointed out.

"Then we can't go in front." Present day Dean pointed out.

"Oh, we're not… they are. They're the decoys, you two and me we're going in through the back." Future Dean pointed out.

"You're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder?" Present day Dean asked.

"They're not going alone." Future Addison said as she pulled the colt from her bag and handed in to future Dean.

"You guys don't understand its 2015… I don't think either of you have the capacity to understand how bad it's been. The one and only thing that matters is killing the devil, it doesn't matter who has to die." Future Addison said as she looked at her past self.

"You're sacrificing yourself too? And Cas?" She asked her 2015 self.

"The only thing that matters is putting an end to the Apocalypse." Future Dean said.

"Don't miss." Future Addison said as she eyed the colt she had given future Dean.

"I won't." he said, as he curled an arm around her waist and kissed her with a devastating sadness; knowing it was the last time he would ever touch her.

Pulling back from the kiss and resting her forehead against his she placed her hand on his chest over his heart. "I love you." She breathed out, keeping her tears at bay.

"I love you." Future Dean said back as he kissed her again, and watched her walk back to the group of camp survivors who were going to be the diversion.

"I'm not gonna let you do this." Present day Dean said.

"Oh, really?" Future Dean asked.

"Yeah…" Present day Dean started to respond, but future Dean knocked him out.

Addison watched as her future self led the camp survivors into their last fight, she crouched down on the ground and wiped a few tears from her cheeks as the windows lit up with gunfire.

"Can you believe this?" Addison asked as Dean woke up.

"We gotta stop them." He told her as he jogged towards the building.

"It's too late!" Addison said as she followed him.

Addison stood by Dean as Lucifer talked to Dean.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, Dean. What do you think I'm going to do?" Lucifer asked him.

"I don't know maybe deep fry the planet." Dean pointed out.

"Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful in a trillion different ways…the last perfect handiwork of God?" Lucifer asked him.

"Before humanity ruined it at least…" Addison thought out loud.

"She gets it." Lucifer said, looking at Addison.

Dean looked over at her.

"All of the pollutions, and the landfills… the oil spills. We took this beautiful, pure earth and ruined it! Contaminated the waters, hunted until animals were extinct. We're selfish beings by nature, we just kept taking and taking expecting the earth to recover, but all we did was destroy it." Addison said looking around before pausing and looking back up at Dean, "It's why I recycle and drive a Prius."

Dean shook his head at her.

"You can see the earth for what it was meant to be… Nephilim were some of his last creations before my father created the… hairless apes. You're much different, and more evolved than the Nephilim I've ran into." Lucifer said, looking at Addison with something a little shy of fascination

Addison looked around at the lightening flickering in the sky as Lucifer explained to Dean why he was cast down into Hell.

**(())(())**

Looking around the inside of his hotel room, Dean's gaze stopped on Zachariah and, "Of, well, if it isn't the ghost of Christmas screw-you!" Dean said.

Addison looked around the room, her heart pounded inside of her chest from fear.

"Enough. Dean, enough. You saw it right? You saw what happens…You are the only person who can prove the devil wrong. Just say yes." Zachariah pleaded.

"How do I know this whole thing isn't one of your tricks? Some angel hocus-pocus?" Dean asked.

"The time for tricks is over. Give yourself to Michael; say yes and we can strike now!" Zachariah said.

"No." Dean said.

"No? You're telling me you haven't learned your lesson?" The angel asked.

"Dean… we have to go." Addison said, taking a deep breath as she grabbed onto his arm.

"Go? No. Neither of you are going anywhere, I've got you now boy and I'm never letting you go." Zachariah said to Dean as he took a few steps closer.

Addison closed her eyes and focused on the street name that Cas had told her he had been standing on when she talking to him on the phone.

Using every ounce of her abilities and power that she had she ported both herself and Dean to Castiel.

"That was pretty nice timing Cas." Dean said, looking at the angel.

"Timing?" Castiel questioned looking at them shocked.

"He didn't port us out of there." Addison admitted looking back and forth at them as she started to feel light headed.

"I wasn't aware you could teleport." Castiel told her as Dean looked over at her confused.

"It… started to happen right after I killed angels with my powers… I don't know and I didn't know if I could port us both." Addison admitted looking at Dean.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked her, seeing her eyes starting to dart around as if they couldn't focus.

"Yeah… I'm fine." She said coughing a little.

"Addison?" Castiel questioned.

"I'm fine, Cas. Don't worry." Addison said.

Accepting her answer, Dean put his hand on Castiel's shoulder and said, "Don't ever change."

"How did Zachariah find you?" Castiel asked him.

Addison blinked her eyes as she started to sway on the edge of the sidewalk.

"Long story. Let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses from now on, okay?" Dean asked as he took his phone out of his pocket.

"Are you calling Sam?" Addison asked, asked before she started to cough. Her eyes widened as she looked down to see blood pouring from her hand she covered her cough with.

"Yeah." Dean said nodding, but not looking at her.

"Good. I really think you guys have a shot at stopping this." Addison said, as her ears started to ring.

She felt like her insides were trying to force their way up her esophagus as more blood ran out of her mouth, feeling she side of her face she knew her ears had started to bleed to.

"Guys… I." She started to say, but she never finished her sentence as she passed out and her body crumpled off the side walk and right into the street as a car was headed towards them.

"Addison!" Dean yelled as Castiel quickly scooped her limp body out of harm's way.

**(())((()))(())**

_**A/N – Thank you all for reading, I really hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I'm so sorry it's taken so long for an update with this story! I finally got moved and started college and writing had really taken a back burner.**_

_**But now, things have settled some and with Supernatural season 8 approaching I am re-energized and in a writing mood. ^_^**_

**If you are still reading this story, I'd really appreciate it if you could take the time to leave a review and let me know. Even just a few lines to say Hey, **_**I'm still reading**_**. Means way more than you know! You're guys' interest and kind words about a certain story are what keeps me going. ^_^**


	20. Little Talks

**Part Twenty.**

"And the danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions, that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness" ~ Sylvia Plath

* * *

><p>Addison stood in front of the mirror and brushed her still wet hair from the shower she had just taken.<p>

Opening a bottle of pain relievers she took a few more than the recommended dosage as she was trying to stop the pounding in her head.

Reaching into her one of her travel bags, she pulled out a few Q-tips. "_Gross." _She breathed out she had swirled the cotton tip around in her ears and removed the last traces of dried blood.

She had woke up the day before on a couch in a hotel room with Sam and Dean, who had told her she had been unconscious for 4 days.

_**(( The Prior Day))**_

"4 days!" Addison exclaimed as she took a drink of the water Sam had given her.

Dean nodded.

"Where's Cas?" She asked.

Sam and Dean exchanged looks.

"What?" She asked.

"He left you here with us." Dean said, looking at her.

"Why?" she asked.

"He's on a mission of his own, he thinks he can find God." Dean admitted.

"Then why didn't he just take me with him?" Addison asked, her eyes showing the hurt she was feeling.

"He thought you'd be better off staying in one place, you've been unconscious. It probably would have done more harm than good to be ported around repeatedly."

She was quiet for a few moments until she stood up and said, "Thank you for watching out for me."

"Where are you going?" Dean asked her, standing also.

She was quiet.

"You cannot just go porting around, you almost died." Dean reminded her.

"I can do what I want, Dean." Addison said, her eyebrows raised.

Glancing back at Sam and then talking a little quieter Dean said, "Look, I know going to the future really screwed with your head… I'm still reeling to. But right now we have to fight like hell to change the outcome."

"If you guys need my help with anything don't hesitate to call me, I'll help you with whatever you need… but right now I need to be alone." She said.

"I know we saw a lot of crap in 2015…" Dean started to argue with her.

"I'm fine." She said, avoiding his eyes.

"That's what you said before you passed out and fell in the street." He reminded her.

"I'm fine." She repeated.

"Be careful, Addy." Dean said as he handed her the keys to her Prius.

"I will be. Thanks again." She said with a small but weak smile as she headed out the door.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute before you go?" Sam asked her as he followed out to her car.

"I guess…" She said, feeling awkward around Sam ever since he caught her and Cas kissing.

"Have you really thought about what you're doing?" He asked her, his eyes soft as he spoke.

"What are you talking about?" Addison asked, afraid of his answer.

Looking over his shoulder to make sure Dean hadn't followed him out before he spoke, he said, "I saw you guys…kissing."

"That's none of your business…" She said as she felt her cheeks flush.

"I get that for over a year he was pretty much the only contact with anybody that you had, it's understandable to have feelings for him. But he is angel Addison." Sam said shaking his head.

"Your point?" She snapped, getting angry.

"My point is that you really need to take a step back and size up the situation before you end up getting hurt." Sam said, looking at her.

"Sam… I like you, I really do. You and Dean are the only friends I really have, but I swear to god if you say one more word about this, I will knock you out." Addison said, her eyes intense as she spoke.

Sam looked at her surprised and watched as she got in her car and drove away.

_**(( End of Flashback))**_

Dropping the bath towel to the floor, she changed into a pair of red and black plaid pajama shorts and a matching red tank top.

She sat down on the end of the bed and tapped her foot anxiously against the floor as she kept looked at her phone that had finally charged back up.

"Screw it." She said as she flipped off the TV and picked up her phone.

"You're awake." Cas stated as he answered her call on the second ring.

"Why did you take off and leave me with Sam and Dean?" Addison asked the first question that came to mind.

"It was safer for you than to be moved all around." He pointed out the same thing Sam and Dean had told her.

"I would rather be with you." She admitted.

"Are you angry?" Castiel asked her.

"No." She said, but her voice revealed different.

"Good, you sounded angry." He said, a twinge of relief showing in his voice.

Addison closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Damnit, Yes I'm mad. When I get hurt you're not just supposed to leave me somewhere!" She said.

"You needed to rest up, you almost killed yourself." Cas said, a twinge of anger showing in his voice now,

"I got myself and a friend out of danger, I didn't have a choice." Addison corrected him.

"You are still lucky to be a live, you've pushed yourself too far…again." He said.

"My point is… if it was reversed I wouldn't have left you anywhere. I would have made sure you were safe…" She said her voice trailing off.

"You were safe." He pointed out.

"It's not the same." She said her voice cracked a little.

"Where are you?" He asked her.

She gave him her hotel name and room number.

"I'm glad you're okay." He said, as he appeared in the room with her.

Ending the call on her cellphone she tossed it over on her bed.

"I'm all better, I'll pack a small bag of essentials and we can go." Addison said, looking at him.

"Go where?" He asked her.

"With you… to find God." Addison said, looking at him.

"You can't come with me." He told her.

"What… why not?" She asked.

"You are still weak; you've not entirely healed up." He told her.

"I can keep up with you." She said.

"My father could be anywhere. I could be going to over a 100 places a day to find him, you are part human… you don't have anywhere near the power to keep up with that. It would be foolish to try, and I don't know how long I'll be able to keep moving just myself around." He admitted, looking at her.

"You're powers are still getting weaker?" She asked.

He nodded.

"I will find a way to keep up with you, I can do it. I've defied every other expectation." She admitted a twinge of desperation in her voice.

"There are other reasons, it would slow us down… you have to stop to eat and sleep." He said.

She gasped under her breath.

"So that's what it is… I'm too much trouble now?" She asked.

"I don't understand." Castiel admitted, looking at her.

"What do you feel… about me?" She asked, preparing herself to lay it all on the line.

"I am starting to feel more than before." He admitted.

"About me, or just feelings in general?" She asked him.

"Both." He admitted.

She looked at him, seeing he was more human now than ever before. His powers from heaven were dwindling with the longer he stayed cut off from heaven.

Walking up to him she placed her hand on the side of his face as she looked into his blue eyes.

"What do you feel… about me, right now?" She asked him.

"I have… strong feelings for you." He admitted, trying to sort through the entire new wave of feelings that surged through him whenever she was around.

Leaning up she kissed him with more passion and sadness than ever before.

"I love you." She said, as she took a step back.

His eyes widened at her statement.

"Are you sure?" He questioned, wondering if the strong emotions he felt were the same thing.

"I've never been surer." She said, shaking her head.

"How do you know?" He asked her.

She was quiet for a moment.

"It's not something I can explain all that well. The absolute worst thing that I can think of would be to lose you. I would do everything I could to keep you safe and to try and make you happy. I would hold your hand and walk into a building that's burning to the ground, because I'd rather die with you than have to face a new day without you." She said, as a few tears spilled from her eyes.

"But how does one know what love feels like?" Castiel asked her.

"You just know… you know it when you look at them, it's something you feel deep inside and it overrides any other emotions or fears. There is no way to explain it; you just have to feel it." She said her eyes still watery.

"I don't know if that's what I feel." He admitted, taking a step towards her. "I need you to explain it to me."

She shook her head; fighting back all of the tears threating to start cascading down her cheeks.

"It can't be explained." She answered.

He was silent as he tried to decide if all the feelings he felt amounted to love, he had never felt so many different things at once.

"It's okay. Right now you need to focus on finding God." She said as she turned and gathered her bags in a pile on her bed.

"Why are you crying?" He asked her.

She looked up at him and tried to wipe the tears away from her face, but more and more kept falling faster than she could swat them away.

"Because, I can't ever remember being in so much pain." She said, as her chin quivered with her tears.

"Where are you hurt?" He asked her concerned.

"Damnit Cas." She said shaking her head as she grabbed all of her bags.

"Please, just go." She said, shaking her head as she continued to feel helpless and cry.

"I want to help you." He said, concerned as he walked towards her.

"It's not your fault. Everything's fine." She said as a stabbing pain continued to shoot through her chest.

"I have to go." She said, as she ported herself from the room, with her bags in hand.

**(((())))**

Addison looked at the dark cherry wood door, before raising her hand and knocking on the door of the house.

"Addy?" Rose said after looking through the peephole and opening the door for the granddaughter.

"Hi grandma." Addison said as she stepped forward and hugged her grandmother.

Addison walked into the comfortable, warm living room. She looked around at the floral design wallpaper; she knew underneath the paper on the walls was lots of protection symbols to keep her grandmother safe.

This was the safe house she had set up for her grandmother after the demon attack on them.

Addison walked into the second bedroom and sat her bags down on the bed.

A couple hours later she walked into the kitchen as her grandmother was fixing dinner.

"Not that I'm not thrilled to have you here, but what's going on? The last time we spoke you said something had gone wrong and the door to the devils cage had been opened." Rose said, she and Addison had been keeping in touch and her grandmother knew Addison wasn't entirely human.

"Not much has changed since then." Addison admitted as she grabbed the bottle of wine from the counter and poured some in a glass for herself.

"If that's the case then what are you doing here?" Rose asked, taking the bottle and pouring some for herself.

"I'm not equipped for all of this…" Addison said, shaking her head.

"You seemed to have it all together the last time we spoke." Rose said, pouring a little more wine in her granddaughter's glass.

"Well things change." Addison said her eyes stinging from tears.

"You wanna talk about it?" Rose asked, saddened by seeing Addison in pain.

"Not really." She admitted, as she finished off her glass of wine.

**((((A few days later))))**

Addison looked down at her dinner plate, and stabbed some green beans with her fork.

"Addy, it's been a couple days… I really think you should talk about what's bothering you. It's not good to hold it all in." Rose said, as she took a few bites of her own green beans.

She was silent.

"It's about a boy… isn't it?" Rose asked a knowing smile on her lips.

"Why do you think that?" Addison asked.

"You have no trouble telling me about apocalypse problems… so it must be something else." Rose observed.

"It's so stupid, I'm in the middle of trying to save the world… and I can't seem to function anymore because my heart hurts." Addison said, laying her fork down with a clank.

"What's his name?" Rose asked.

"Castiel." Addison admitted, letting out the breath she had been holding.

"Castiel?" The grandmother asked.

"He's not just a guy… he's… an angel." Addison admitted.

"Okay." Rose said.

"He was the one who got assigned to protect me, but we bonded so much and trusted each other. I knew what he was, and I know how extremely rare it is for angels to develop feelings for humans… well, to develop any feelings at all. But he did, and he cared about me." Addison said, taking a breath.

"what's the problem then?" Rose asked.

"The problem is that I love him. It's wrong, and I shouldn't and it's even worse for me to expect him to feel the same way. I… I don't know, I just thought that because of what I felt for him was so absolute, that he had to feel the same way. So I screwed up and I told him I loved him." Addison admitted.

"Well, what did he say?" Rose asked.

"He wanted me to explain to him how it felt to be in love with someone…" Addison said, thinking back to their conversation.

"And that's something you just can't explain to another person." Rose said with a nod.

"Exactly… and if he had to ask me what it felt like then he obviously doesn't feel the same." Addison reasoned.

"You said angels don't feel, but he's different and he cares about. He's vocalized that, right?" rose asked.

"Yeah… so?" Addison questioned.

"So don't you think he very well might feel the same way, but all the feelings are so foreign to him that he just doesn't entirely understand the way he feels?" Rose questioned.

"He doesn't." Addison said.

Rose pressed her lips together in a thin line.

"I shouldn't even had said anything." Addison said as she picked up her plate, scraping the last of the remaining food in the trashcan and setting her plate in the dishwasher.

"Addison, come sit back down." Rose pleaded.

"I'm pretty tired." Addison said.

"Sit." Rose said as she pointed back to her chair.

Crossing the kitchen Addison took her seat again and looked at her grandmother.

"You're young, and you've always felt thing so deep. I completely understand why you're so upset, and I can imagine you must feel like your heart has been ripped out. But Addison, you need to decide what you want. You can stay here for as long as you need to, god knows I'd rather have you here safe with me then out going against the devil, but I also know that you were meant for greater things. You were given a gift and you've handled it all so well… you're so strong Addy." Rose said.

"I just want to stay here." Addison said, her green eyes dark.

"And never see Castiel again?" Rose questioned.

Addison nodded, before a few tears slid down her face.

"I just want him to feel the same way I do… He's been cut off from heaven and all of his human emotions are stronger than ever, if he can't love me now… he'll never be able to." Addison explained.

"You just don't want to be second to anything in his life… you want to be the single most important thing to him." Rose said.

"Isn't that how love is supposed to be? Nothing else is as important as who you're in love with?" Addison asked.

Rose nodded.

"But these aren't normal circumstances… he is also trying to save the world, he's been cut off from Heaven and like you said all of his human emotions are stronger than ever. He's probably terrified on many different levels." Rose said.

"But I'm always there to help him." Addison said, her eyebrow raised.

"Addison… you are never going to be the only thing he cares about. I know that's not what you want to hear, but he has a responsibility to humanity and as much as you want to be put before everything else, I don't think that's going to happen. If you do love him, then you're going to have to face that… you're going to have to sacrifice a lot. Can you do that?" Rose asked.

"I'd do anything for him." Addison said, whipping the tears from her cheeks.

"Then why are you here?" Rose asked, as she drank the last of her lemonade.

Addison was quiet for a few moments.

"It was easier to run…" Addison admitted.

* * *

><p><strong>AN – **_**Thank you all for reading! I hope you all enjoyed the update.**_

_**How are you all liking season 8 so far? It already has me on edge, but I've got high hopes for this season. ^_^**_

**Please take a few moments and let me know that you are still reading this story. You're reviews mean so much to me, and I really appreciate them all so much. ^_^**


	21. The Fight Never Ends

**Part Twenty One.**

_"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." ~ Hellen Keller_

* * *

><p>The next morning Addison got up and showered changing into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. She had spent practically the whole night awake thinking about what her grandmother had told her.<p>

"Morning." Addison said, as she walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning." Rose replied as she pulled the waffle iron out of a cabinet and started laying ingredients out.

"I'm not really hungry, Grandma." Addison admitted as she got the grape juice from the refrigerator and poured herself a glass.

"I'm going to make you some anyway." Rose said, with a stern look.

Addison nodded and walked through the doorway into the living room.

She sat her glass of grape juice on the coffee table and looked at the remote trying to decide if she even wanted to hear the morning news.

"Oh my god!" She heard her grandmother exclaim from the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Addison asked, as she ran into the kitchen.

"Addison, stay back!" Rose yelled as she pointed a large knife at the stranger in her kitchen.

"Who are you?" Rose yelled, jabbing the knife at the air in front of her towards the man who had appeared out of nowhere.

"I'm Castiel." He responded, looking past Rose to Addison.

"Oh… you're Castiel? Oh my… I'm so sorry; you just appeared out of nowhere." Rose said, as she sat the knife down on the counter.

"I didn't mean to startle you, I was looking for Addison." He admitted.

"It's alright…" She said, looking him over before unplugging the waffle iron and saying, "I'll just leave you two to talk then…"

Addison stood in silence as her grandmother went into the living room and turned the morning news on.

"How did you find me?" Addison asked.

"I helped you set this house up to keep your grandmother safe." He reminded her.

"I forgot about that." Addison admitted.

"I guess the bigger question is what are you doing here?" Addison asked, as she returned the large knife to the cutlery block on the counter.

"I understand what you meant when you said you were in pain. Addison, when you left me at the hotel… I wasn't sure if you were ever going to come back; and the thought of that caused me intense pain." He explained what he had felt.

She raised an eyebrow at his words.

"I understand it all now. I love you, Addison." He said.

Her eyes stung with tears.

"Are you sure… because at this point I'm inclined to believe you… so if you're not sure you should just tell me now." She said.

He looked confused at her words.

"I have never felt anything more entirely consuming than the feelings I have for you." He said, his eyes serious as he spoke.

She nodded and looked at him.

"I love you." She said, her heart raced within her chest.

"And I love you." Castiel replied as he watched her.

"Okay." She said, nodding her head.

It took her a few more seconds to wrap her head around everything before she ran across the kitchen, pushing her body against his as she held onto the sides of his face and brought her lips to his.

Wrapping his arms around her, he held her tight in his embrace as he felt at ease for the first time since she had left him.

"I don't want you to leave me again." He said, his eyes sad as he looked at her.

"I won't." She said, before kissing him again.

**((()))**

"You're sure this is what you want?" Rose asked, as she carried the folded pile of clothes into Addison's room.

"More than anything." Addison said, smiling as she tucked the clothes into one of her bags.

"I just worry about you Addy." Rose admitted, as she folded her hands in her lap.

"You don't need to be worried." Addison assured her.

"You're trying to take down Lucifer…" Rose reminded her.

"If we don't manage to either kill, or trap him back in his cage... there's going to be a lot more to worry about than my safety." Addison pointed out.

"You are what matters to me." Rose said.  
>"I worry about you being alone here in this house… but then again you did just pull a knife on an angel…"Addison said, smiling.<p>

"I didn't know who or what he was! He just showed up out of nowhere!" Rose explained, laughing a little.

"I told you he probably felt the same as you." Rose went on to say.

"I gotta go, Grandma. Sam and Dean have a lead on the demon who has the only gun that might actually kill the devil." Addison explained.

"Oh Addy… please be careful." Rose said, as she stood and pulled her granddaughter in for a tight hug.

"You to." Addison said as she returned the tight embrace.

**(((A few weeks later)))**

Addison was driving back to the hotel where she had been staying; Sam and  
>Dean had successfully retrieved the Colt, but sadly it hadn't worked to kill the devil.<p>

They were now back to the drawing board on how to take down Lucifer, the only highlight was Addison and Castiel were growing even closer.

"Dean. Hey, how are you doing?" Addison asked as she answered her phone.

She talked to him for a little while, he and Sam had been brought back to life by the angel Joshua after some hunters had shot and killed them.

"Cas is… more sad than I have ever seen him before. I mean, god… he's been around for like what thousands of years? And now he finds out that the one thing he has blindly followed all this time either doesn't exist or just doesn't give a shit." She answered when Dean asked how they were doing.

After her tires went off the side of the road again, she said, "Dean, I'm sorry I gotta go. Let me know if you guys find another way to take out Lucifer… Cas and I are still looking to."

She ended the call and tossed the phone into her passenger seat.

"There's a reason they say you shouldn't talk on the phone while driving… it's distracting." Crowley said.

Addison jumped and gasped as she looked over to her passenger seat.

Crowley looked around the inside of her car as he picked her cellphone up from his lap where it had landed.

"So which one are you after… the angel or Dean?" He questioned, an eyebrow raised.

"What happened to your vacation to all points nowhere?" She asked.

"It was rudely interrupted." He said.

"Shame." Addison sarcastically remarked.

"What does that have to do with me?" Addison asked.

"Have you forgotten out deal?" He asked.

"uh no… I didn't try to kill you when we showed up to get the Colt. Deal over." Addison said.

He scoffed.

"You think you're off the hook that easy?" He asked her.

"Yeah, deal was I wouldn't try to kill you and you won't send me back into the pit." Addison recalled.

"I believe there was an element of your agreeing to provide me with protection if needed." Crowley reminded her as he scrolled through her phone.

"Big bad king of the crossroads needs my protection?" Addison asked as if it were a school yard taunt.

"You're insufferable, you know that?" Crowley asked her, his voice showed every bit of annoyance he was feeling.

"So I've been told. And seriously you can't take out some demons on your own?" Addison asked.

"Demons aren't my only problem. Seems some of Lucifer's brothers and sisters have caught wind of my extracurricular activities." Crowley explained.

"Angels?" Addison questioned.

Crowley nodded.

"Fine, what do you need me to do?" Addison asked.

"Pack your bags and come with me." Crowley told her.

"You're joking? Go on the run with you, in case some angels happen to find you? I have better things to do than babysit you." Addison snapped.

"Have you forgotten what hell was like?" Crowley asked her.

"Besides, you seem to have your angel proofing down… it kept Cas out of your house." Addison reminded him.

"And in the process of fleeing from one safe house to another… I was ambushed." He explained.

"If angels ambushed you, there's no way you'd be sitting here with me right now." Addison argued.

"Not just angels, demons. Luckily, they started fighting each other and I made my escape." He explained.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you." Addison said.

"You can and will." Crowley ordered.

"I said I can't. I just got things back on track with Cas and Sam and Dean need my help with taking down the devil. That is still you're endgame isn't it? So wouldn't it serve your purpose better to have me on the front lines fighting then with you?" She asked.

"I couldn't care less about you getting things back on track with anyone. Until Sam and Dean get closer to our endgame, as you put it, I need to keep my ass safe." Crowley told her.

"I think you severely overestimate my powers. I can kill demons, no problem… but angels, takes too much out of me. I do good to kill about 5 before I pass out and start bleeding from every hole on my head." Addison told him.

"5 more angels than what I can kill with my mind. That gives me the time it takes you to kill 5 angels to flee." Crowley told her.

"Wait, if that happens… it will kill me." Addison said, looking over at him as she pulled to a stop at a red light.

"Not my problem." Crowley told her.

"Well, then it's not my problem either. I'm not going with you." She told him.

"You'd rather be strung up in hell, tortured relentlessly… eternal torment; than to just come with me?" He asked her, watching her face closely as she looked over at him.

"Yes." She lied, but hoped her voice would fool him.

"I think you overestimate my ability to care. I'm not kidding; I saved you from hell because you are useful. But none of that will matter to me if I'm dead. I will kill and send you straight back to hell Addison." Crowley said his voice almost in a growl, angered at her not going along with what he was saying.

She swallowed hard at his words; she knew he was telling the truth.

"My patience is wearing thin." He warned.

"Fine." She breathed out, shaking her head.

"Good." He responded.

"Tell me where to meet you, I'll get my stuff from my hotel and meet you there." She offered.

"Do you think I'm that dense? If I let you out of my sight you are going to run." He said.

"No I won't." She answered.

"Let's go collect your things." He said.

She sighed, letting her irritation show as she continued her drive to her hotel room.

Crowley looked around the inside of her hotel room as she grabbed her bags.

"I can't go with you until Castiel gets back." Addison said as she sat down on the side of her bed.

"Nice try." He said.

"I'm serious… I can't just take off and not let anyone know that I'm okay. They'll be worried about me." She argued.

"Again, I don't know why you think that I actually care." Crowley said.

"Sam and Dean are my friends, if they find out I'm missing and no one knows where I am they are going to try to find me. Don't you want 100% of their focus on killing Lucifer?" Addison pointed out.

He was silent as he gave her a hard stare.

"The minute you call your angel, he's going to be here." Crowley pointed out.

"So, let me leave a message with Dean." Addison offered.

"Hurry." Crowley told her.

Addison took out her phone and called Dean.

"Everything alright?" Dean answered seeing it was her number.

"I need you to tell Cas something for me." Addison said.

"Why can't you tell him yourself?" Dean asked confused.

"I have to leave with Crowley." Addison explained.  
>"I'm not even going to pretend that –that makes any sense at all. What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked.<p>

"I don't have a lot of time, so I need you to listen to me. It was part of the deal I made, he's got angels coming after him and he needs my protection. If I don't go, he's going to send me back to hell. I need you to tell Cas about it, and tell him that I'm okay. And don't come looking for me, you won't be able to find me and it will take up valuable time you need to find a way to kill the devil." Addison quickly explained.

"Addison, if you go with him he's going to kill you. Tell me where you are." Dean said, his voice showed his concern.

Looking at Crowley, she said into the phone, "He needs my help he's not going to kill me."

"Addison, don't trust…" Dean started to say.

But Crowley waved his hand and her phone flew from her hand into his. He looked at it for a moment before dropping it the ground and crushing it with his foot.

"Oh come on!" Addison yelled.

"You can buy another, can't have anyone tracking you… now can I?" He questioned as he held the door open for her.

"When this is all over and my debt is paid… it's going to be me you're going to have to hide from." Addison threatened as she walked through the open door and towards her car.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN- I hope you all liked the update, thanks for reading! ^_^ I know I've really been slacking on my Supernatural fanfics... but i'm trying to get back into updating them more often._**

**I'd love it so much if you would take the time to leave me a few lines in a review. I appreciate them all so much, and encourage me to keep writing and updating. ^_^**


	22. Unholy Propositions

**Part Twenty Two.**

_"As a matter of self-preservation, a man needs good friends or ardent enemies, for the former instruct him and the latter take him to task." ~ Diogenes_

* * *

><p>"Turn here." Crowley instructed her.<p>

Addison turned into a parking garage and went to the lowest level that was possible as Crowley instructed her to do.

"Okay… we're here." She said as she pulled into a parking spot and shut the car off.

"Get you bags." Crowley told her.

"Are you going to tell me where the hell we're going?" She asked as she got out of the car and grabbed her bags looking around the dimly lit and empty level of the parking garage.

Without another word to her he grabbed her arm and ported them to a house.

"My car!" Addison snapped, as she dropped her bags onto the couch they stood by.

"Is the least of my concern?" Crowley informed her as he walked into the kitchen.

"What am I supposed to do here?" Addison asked as she followed him.

"What do you normally do?" He asked her.

"Talk to Castiel." She admitted, looking around the kitchen.

"Talk to the angel? That's what you do with all of your time?" He questioned looking at her.

She nodded. "Yes, I pretty much spend all of my time with him."

"Well, you're going to have to find something else to do." He said as he poured himself a glass of scotch.

"You broke my cellphone; I have nothing else to do." She complained.

"Are you going to be this grouse all the time?" He asked.

"Grouse?" She asked, not familier with the term.

"Yes... are you going to whine and complain this whole time?" He asked.

"Yes! I'm bored." Addison whined.

"Not my problem." He said as he walked back into the living room.

"Yes it is! You made me come here… I can't just sit here the whole time. I'm a social creature." She complained hoping to get on his nerves bad enough he'd decide he couldn't stand to be around her and let her go.

"Are you trying to piss me off?" He asked, looking at her as he sat his glass down on the coffee table.

She didn't respond.

"Trust me Addison; I'm the last person you want to piss off. Need I remind you no one knows where you are?" He said his tone low and threatening.

Her eyes widened, but a smile toyed at the corner of her lips.

"What?" He asked seeing she was smiling.

She tried to keep a serious face, but busted out laughing.

He sighed heavily with annoyance.

"What?" He yelled, his voice boomed through the living room.

"I'm sorry… it's just… you sound like the incredible hulk!" Addison said between her fits of laughter.

He looked at her confused.

"You were all like, don't make me angry… you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." She managed to finally say.

Crowley stood still and watched her a few moments before shaking his head, and sitting down not finding her joke funny.

Addison sat down on the far edge of the couch and looked at him.

"What?" He asked, looking back over at her.

"Nothing, I'm going to explore the house." She replied as she casually got up and started up the stairs.

She looked through the upstairs before finding a small study, entering the room she looked around; her eyes stopped on a phone on the desk.

Looking out in the hallway she walked into the study and picked up the phone; putting it up to her ear she breathed a small sigh of relief at the dial tone.

Just as she had started to dial a number, Crowley appeared in the room with her.

He grabbed the base of the phone pulling the whole jack and cords from the wall.

She dropped the receiver and looked at him wide eyed.

"Like it or not, you are stuck here with me… as much as you want out of here you have to admit this is better than being in hell. So unless you want a one way ticket right back into the pit with a heavy price on your pretty little nephilim head, I suggest you stop making stupid moves." He yelled, as he walked towards her.

For the first time since she had first met him in hell, she felt real fear with the way he looked at her.

She instinctively backed up.

"Do you understand?" He asked, still moving towards her.

Addison backed right into the wall.

He stopped only a few inches in front of her.

She looked at him, her green eyes wide as he stared her down.

She started to turn sideways to walk by him, but he reached forward and put a hand on either side of the wall trapping her.

"If I have to tie you down and gag you to keep you from trying to escape, or calling the Winchester's I will. You can either go with what I say, or this will not be an enjoyable experience." He warned.

He was so close she could feel the heat from his breath on her face and faintly smell the scotch he had been drinking downstairs.

In an instant she was in the living room.

Only seconds later Crowley appeared in the room with her, surprise on his face from knowing that she could port herself around. He had never heard of nephilim being that strong before.

"Surprised I can teleport?" She questioned.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she didn't give him the chance.

"I am here because I am honoring our deal, you save my life and now I'm going to try and save yours." She told him.

Holding a hand out in front of her she flicked her wrist and Crowley was thrown across the room pinned to the far wall.

"You see, I don't like to be threatened Crowley. I'm easy to get along with, but just like you said about yourself, you won't like me if I'm mad. I know you don't give a shit about me and you wouldn't hesitate to send me back to hell, god knows you've threatened it enough. But I swear if you try to, I will find some way to drag you down there with me. I'm a lot stronger than what you think, so if I were you I'd stay off my bad side." She said, as she now stood only inches in front of him.

He tried to move but she kept him immobilized with her powers.

Sighing she lifted her concentration and sat back down on the couch.

Crowley stood by the wall where she had just had him pinned and looked at her.

"I should have just stayed in hiding." She mumbled as she slid down and crossed her arms over her chest.

"In hiding; with your grandmother?" He questioned, as he crossed the room towards her.

She looked at him confused.

"You really think I'd just pull you from the pit and not keep an eye on you? I keep a close eye on all my investments." He said as he picked up his glass and took a drink.

She looked at him confused, "If you knew about her how come she is still alive?"

"I had no reason to kill her..." He said his voice trailing off, leaving the threat open.

Turning sideways she looked at him. "How about this? We just agree that we are both possibly very dangerous to each other and just get through this until the devil is dead. Okay?"

He raised an eyebrow and gave her a hard stare before slowly nodding.

**(((A few weeks later)))**

Addison sat in a chair in the living room reading a book in their 4th safe house. They kept getting found out and having to fight and flee.

Crowley walked in the room with a newspaper and sat down in another chair.

"I don't get it why aren't your safe houses actually safe? How could they have found us at 3 of them?" She asked, not taking her eyes off the book.

"The first 2 were tests." He admitted, not looking up from his paper.

"What?" She gasped closing the book and laying it in her lap.

"Give me some credit Addison, did you really think I was that bad at securing a location?" He asked, with raised eyebrows as he dropped the newspaper to the table.

"Why? Why would you compromise our location?" She asked still shocked.

"I needed to see exactly how strong you were." He admitted, acting like it wasn't a big deal.

"So, how did I do on the test?" She asked.

"Swimmingly." He responded.

"So, what about the 3rd house?" She asked.

"That one I had no part in." He told her honestly.

"How many more safe houses to do we have to flee to?" She asked him.

"Just 2." He admitted.

"If we don't have an endless supply don't you think that it wasn't too bright to burn through 2 of them for no reason?" She asked.

He ignored her as he picked the newspaper back up.

After a little while he said, "The Winchester's are closing in on a solution… if they manage to get all 4 of the horseman rings they can lock the devil back in his cage." Crowley filled her in.

"How do you know this?" She asked.

"I have a tracking coin on them… it allows me to hear things to." He explained.

"That's… too creepy." She said, shaking her head as she picked her book back up.

He watched her for a moment before going back to his paper.

**(((A few weeks later)))**

Addison sat on the couch of their 2nd to last safe house, sighing heavily as she pulled the ear buds of her iPod from her ears.

A little while later Crowley walked in the room.

"It has been 2 months! I'm losing my mind." She complained.

He raised an eyebrow and poured himself a glass of scotch, sitting down on the couch he took out his iPhone and started messing with it.

"Isn't there something we can do? I'm bored out of my mind." She complained again.

He glanced over at her from the corner of his eyes and looked back to his phone.

"Did you hear me?" She asked, sitting sideways and scooting closer on the couch.

"I heard you." He said, still not looking at her.

"Well, do you have anything we can do?" She asked again.

Tucking his phone in his pocket he looked at her.

"Oh… I have plenty of things in mind we could do to keep from getting bored, but I don't think you'd be into the idea much." He said, watching her.

Her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion and he almost laughed as he saw her eyes widen at her realization.

Quickly scooting back from him on the couch, her nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Are you saying we should have sex?" She practically yelled at him.

"Not in such a tactless way, but yes. Why not?" He asked her.

"Uh… there's a million reasons!" She yelled, still in shock at what he had said.

"Please, like you haven't wondered what it would be like." He said, narrowing his eyes inquisitively at her.

"Wondered what it would be like with you? No!" She yelled at him.

"Why are you yelling at me?" He asked, amused at how she had become so animated with her facial depressions and gestures.

"Because… I want you to understand the answer is no; a thousand times no!" She said her voice more at normal speaking level now as she realized she had been yelling.

"Worth a shot." He said lightly as he took his phone back from his pocket.

He watched her from the corner of his eye as she picked the book up from beside her on the couch, but stayed on the same page for nearly 10 minutes.

"I didn't necessarily mean with me, I mean wondered what it's like in general." He explained.

She looked over at him.

"I… know what it's like." She argued.

Crowley laughed and shook his head.

"Why are you laughing?" She asked, turning sideways and facing him.

"Because you're lying." He said.

"I am not." She said, her voice believable.

"Addison… I'm a demon, virgins stand out to us." He told her.

Her jaw dropped.

He smiled smugly to himself, knowing he had really gotten under her skin.

"You have to know that you can't have an actual… relationship with Castiel. He's an angel." Crowley said.

"That's none of your business." She snapped.

"What happened to you being a social creature?" He questioned, smiling smugly.

"I'm not going to sit here and talk about my love life with a demon who just propositioned me for sex." Addison explained, shaking her head in shock as she grabbed her book and her iPod and started up the stairs.

**(((A little over a week later)))**

Addison sat on the floor and watched as Crowley drew protection symbols on the walls.

"You could help." He said looking over his shoulder.

"Actually I can't.' She said.

"What do you mean, you can't?" He asked.

"I just can't right now, okay?" She snapped.

He looked over to see she was holding onto her left side.

"What happened?" He asked?

"Nothing, I'm fine." She snapped.

Walking over he grabbed her under the arms and lifted her to her feet.

He then saw her shirt was soaked with blood.

"Get off me!" She yelled, slapping his hands away.

Catching both of her wrists in one of his he lifted her shirt up to reveal a fresh, but slowly healing wound.

"Put my shirt down!" She yelled still squirming against his hold.

"You've been stabbed, you're not fine." He pointed out as he let go of her hands.

"I'm healing." She said, as she put pressure back on the wound.

"When did it happen?" He asked.

"One of the demons got me with a knife, alright?" She said, still mad at him.

"I'm going to get Dean and Sam." He informed her.

"Really? Why?" She asked.

"I know someone who can get us Pestilence, it's the 3rd ring we need." He explained.

"But…" She started to ask before he disappeared.

_Ugh, _she groaned as she started up the stairs and found a bed to lay down on, while she kept pressure on the still healing wound.

She wasn't sure how long it was until she heard the door to the house they were staying at squeak open loudly.

Standing up she examined her side, the wound was all healed.

She quickly changed into another shirt, and light tan jacket; now that the sun was down there was a slight chill in the house.

"Here we are. My life on the lam. Single paned glass, used contraception in the fireplace. The water damage alone…" She heard Crowley say as she descended the stairs, smiling as she saw Sam and Dean.

"How the mighty have fallen…" She said sarcastically.

"Addison." Dean said as he looked up at her.

Stepping off the last stair she said, "It is so good to see you guys… you have no idea."

"How's the wound?" Crowley asked.

Raising her shirt up a little bit she said, "All healed up."

He nodded, thinking she had healed very quickly from such a severe wound.

"Wound?" Sam questioned.

"Crowley stabbed me." She said.

Dean and Sam both turned their heads to Crowley.

"I'm just kidding… I was stabbed and it was by a demon… but not Crowley." She corrected, smiling at her own little joke.

"That was… not funny, at all." Sam said, looking at her confused.

"I know, I'm sorry. But he's the only one I've talked to in like 2 months, all my people skills have gone out the window." She told them.

"Don't let her fool you, she never had any communication skills" Crowley remarked wittily.

"No, I just don't have demon communication skills… know why? Because demon's aren't people they're things." She replied glancing over at him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Thanks for reading! I know this was very Crowley/Addison centered, but don't worry Castiel will be back next chapter. I really hope you all enjoyed the update!**

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review, you guys continually inspire me to keep writing and keep the updates coming. Thank you!**


	23. Hospital

**Part Twenty Three.**

"_After great pain, a formal feeling comes. The nerves sit ceremonious, like tombs__." ~ Emily Dickinson_

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?" Dean asked her.<p>

"I'm as good as one can be after being on the run with a demon for months." She admitted.

"How's Cas?" She asked them.

"He's… okay." Dean told her.

"Has he gotten any of his powers back?" Addison asked.

"No… kinda the opposite." Sam told her.

"Damn it." She breathed out as she shook her head.

"Umm… so how are we getting Pestilence's ring?" Addison asked looking back to Crowley who was staring at her, eyes slightly narrowed.

"Well, I can't give them pestilence… per say." Crowley told her.

"You said you could get us Pestilence …" Dean growled.

"I know the demon who can tell us where he is. He's what you might call the horseman's stable boy… he handles their itineraries, personal needs. He's who you want, believe me. He'll tell us where Sneezy's at.' Crowley explained.

"Well how do we get him to spill? Rip out his toenails?" Dean asked.

"No, nuts at his pay grade don't crack. We bring him here, then I sell him." Crowley explained.

"Sell him?" Sam questioned.

"Please, I've been selling sin to saints for centuries. Think I can't close one little demon?" Crowley told them, his accent smooth as he spoke.

Once Crowley was out of the room, Addison looked at the table Dean and Sam had their weapons on.

Dean looked up making sure Crowley was gone.

"Addy, are you sure you're okay?" He asked her.

"I'm fine… I mean don't get me wrong, I'd much rather be back with Cas… and you guys. But being on the run with Crowley beats hell." She explained.

"How did Cas take the news when you told him I had to leave with Crowley?" She asked them.

Sam looked at her, "Well… he said something about how he didn't understand why you lied to him."

"Lied to him?" She asked, confused.

"Yeah… umm, apparently you promised him you'd never leave him again?" Dean said, it sounded like a question as Dean wondered what Cas had been talking about.

"Damn it…" She said, as she looked down at the floor.

"What was he talking about?" Dean asked her, curious.

"The fact that I promised I'd never leave him." Addison admitted rubbing her forehead, she didn't think Cas would have taken her having to honor her deal with Crowley as her leaving him willingly.

Sam glanced at her and back down at the table remembering when he walked in on her and Cas kissing in the hotel room.

Addison shook her head, obviously extremely upset by what they had just told her.

"Wait…" Dean said as he looked at her.

"You'd never leave him… in what sense?" Dean asked, wondering how close she and Cas had gotten.

"One big happy family then? Fantastic." Crowley said as he looked at the trio.

"You ready to go?" Sam asked.

"Yes, yes I am." Crowley said.

Then he told them that he didn't trust Sam so Sam wasn't coming with them; Dean didn't want to go if Sam didn't go.

"Gentlemen, enjoy your last few sunsets." Crowley said as he turned and started to leave the room.

"Addison." He called over his shoulder.

Sighing she quietly said, "See you guys…" As she turned and started to follow Crowley.

"Wait… I'll go." Dean said, grabbing his bag.

**~()~**

Addison looked around at the bodies on the floor that Crowley had just killed on the first floor of the building.

"You killed them?" Dean asked, surveying the bodies too.

"We're on a tight schedule, come on." Crowley said as he stepped over a blood puddle and grabbed Dean's arm pulling him towards the elevators.

Dean looked back down to the dead bodies.

"Now you're squeamish, please." Crowley remarked as he pulled Dean with him.

Addison shook her head at the unneeded deaths of all the humans in the room.

The elevator opened and Crowley leaned in pushing the right button.

Addison walked in the elevator with Dean, but Crowley quickly grabbed her arm and jerked her backwards.

She gasped in pain and pulled her arm away from him.

"Hey!" Dean yelled angrily.

"Go get them, tiger." Crowley told Dean as the doors started to shut.

"You're not coming?" He asked.

"Oh, no. it's not safe up there… there are demons." Crowley reminded him.

"I get that…" Dean responded.

"Look, just do what I told you… and remember try to be convincing." Crowley told him.

After Dean was gone, Addison looked at Crowley.

"I'm glad to see them again, but I don't get why me and you just didn't get this demon." Addison said.

"You'd get your ask kicked…" He explained.

"Uh, no I wouldn't… I'm strong…" she started to say but her words were cut off.

He said, "With your powers, yes. But we need this demon alive, and physically… you're not very strong."

"Wait, if all we need to do is sell the idea to the demon, why would I have needed to physically fight him?" Addison asked, confused.

Raising an eyebrow Crowley smirked, "You bought that too, huh?"

Her eyes widened.

"You… you set Dean up. The demon doesn't want the rings, does he?" Addison accused.

"No." Crowley admitted.

"I'm going up there." She said.

"Relax… look, they're on their way down." Crowley said pointing up to the elevator lights showing it was dropping floor by floor.

Addison stood to the side waiting until the door opened; she watched as the demon threw dean out of the elevator and he landed with a thud on the floor.

"Dean!" Addison yelled as she ran over to him, while Crowley put a bag over Brady's head with sigils to hold the demon in the meat suit.

"That was perfect." Crowley said after he beat the demon over the head with a crow bar.

"He didn't want the rings… he wanted me." Dean said as he managed to get up on his feet.

"Imagine the surprise on your face… your ignorance and misinformation it's completely authentic, you can't fake that." Crowley said to him.

"It went like clockwork." Crowley finished.

"Not for me you son of a bitch!" Dean exclaimed.

"That's what you get for working with a demon." Crowley pointed out.

Addison stood next to the Impala with Dean as Crowley loaded the demon into the back seat.

Dean stood looking in the car angrily as he had an arm crossed over himself holding onto his ribs on the left side.

"Are you okay?" She asked, looking at his hand.

"He kicked me in the ribs." Dean told her.

"Let me see." Addison said.

He pulled his shirt up to see the damage himself.

Addison gasped at his badly bruised side.

Reaching forward she put a hand over the worst part of the bruise directly over his ribs and concentrated.

Dean watched as the bruising disappeared and the pain stopped.

Reaching up she put a hand on the side of his face where he was bleeding from his forehead and the side of his mouth; the wounds completely healed within seconds. He was thankful when the headache went away too.

"You're getting a lot quicker at that…" He pointed out as she took her hand away and he was completely healed.

"I'm still getting stronger." She admitted, as she walked around to the passenger side.

Dean looked at her from over the top of the car.

"Thanks." He said.

She smiled softly and nodded as she got into the passenger seat and Crowley began to cut into Brady's flesh to seal him in the meat suit.

**~(Much later that night)~**

After they had gotten what they needed from Brady, Dean sealed him in at the end of an ally, trapping him so Sam could have revenge.

"I expect we'll be in touch." Crowley said, as he looked at the brothers and started to walk away.

Addison stood where she was beside Dean.

Crowley stopped a few steps away, "Addison?" He questioned.

She stayed quiet and looked down at the salt line trapping Brady.

"Come on." Crowley said, as he turned and looked at her.

Sam and Dean looked back at him.

"You're joking right? This isn't over… you still only have half of the rings you need. She's still mine until this is all over, and I can walk away safely." Crowley said.

"She's been gone with you for 2 months." Dean argued.

"You want her back… work faster." Crowley responded.

Sighing she looked up at Sam and Dean. "Tell Cas that I will come back as soon as I can, and that I'm sorry and I really didn't want to leave him."

"Addison…" Sam called as she started to follow Crowley.

"I don't have a choice." She reminded him as Crowley grabbed her arm

**~(A few days later)~**

Addison took a drink of her glass of water and read the newspaper she had taken from Crowley when he had finished reading it.

She was sitting on the bed in the room she had been staying in at the house they had covered with protection sigils.

She heard a buzzing noise coming from under her pillow.

Quickly she reached under it and pulled the phone out that Dean had secretly given her.

"Hello?" She whispered.

"Addison… I just wanted to tell you that Cas is in the hospital." Dean said.

"What why?" She asked as her heart beat inside of her chest.

"He's… human." Dean finally said.

"What the hell do you mean Cas is human?" She asked, knowing his powers had been dwindling but she didn't think it was that extreme.

"He says he can't go anywhere without money for a plane, and he wants food and more pain medication." Dean repeated most of the conversation, shaking his own head in disbelief.

"Where is he?" She asked.

"I've got the number to the hospital… why?" Dean asked her.

"Give me the number… I'm going to get him." She explained.

"And Crowley's just going to let you?" Dean asked.

Addison's jaw tensed, "I'm going after him." she repeated.

"Addison…" Dean was going to warn her about not making Crowley mad enough to hurt her, but she cut him off.

"Give me the damn number." She demanded.

She quickly hung up the phone and called the number he had given her.

After speaking to a hospital worker for close to 10 minutes they finally figured out which patient she was wanting to talk to.

She waited as the phone rang to his room.

"Dean?" Castiel asked as he answered the phone, expecting it to be Dean.

"Cas!" Addison exclaimed, closing her eyes at finally hearing his voice again.

"Addison?" Castiel said, surprised to hear from her.

"Are you okay… Dean told me you're… well, that you're… human." She finally said.

"It's not pleasant… I need food and I'm in pain." He explained as he tried to sit up in his hospital bed but fell back.

"I'm so sorry I had to leave. I didn't want to but Crowley was going to kill me if I didn't; my only option was to leave a message with Dean for you. I've missed you so much!" She said.

"I've missed you to; I don't like being away from you." He admitted, as he looked around his hospital room.

"I'm going to come get you." She told him, her voice strong.

"Crowley let you go?" Castiel questioned.

"No…" She admitted.

"Then…" He started to ask but she cut him off.

"Don't worry… I can deal with Crowley; I'll be there soon." She said before hanging up the phone as she heard footsteps.

Silencing the pone she slid it back under her pillow and waited a little while before she went downstairs.

Crowley was standing in the kitchen drinking from his glass and looking out of the window.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- **_**Thank you all for reading! I really hope you guys all liked the chapter. ^_^**_

_**Don't worry… there will be a lot more Cas in chapter 24, and a there's a surprise coming up in chapter 25… I'm super excited to post and share it with you guys.**_

**It always makes my day and really inspires me to keep writing when I read the reviews I get, seriously makes my day! ^_^ So please, take just a few moments to leave a review and let me know you're still following along.**


	24. 21 Years of Learning Just to Die

**Part Twenty four.**

"_We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." _

_~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin_

* * *

><p>"Hey…" She breathed out, looking at Crowley.<p>

He turned around from the window and looked at her.

She did her best to smile at him.

He raised an eyebrow.

"What do you want?" He asked her, immediately noticing her strange behavior.

"I have to leave for a few hours… but I will come back, I swear." She explained.

"Mhmm. You're not going anywhere." Crowley said as he sat his glass down on the kitchen counter and looked at her.

"I'm sorry, but yes, I am." She said firmly.

"Not going to happen, Addison." He told her.

She took a deep breath.

"I am thankful for you pulling me from the pit, and I've been repaying the favor again and again for months. But Castiel needs me and I am going to help him, you can't stop me." She said, looking him in the eyes.

"How do you know he's in trouble?" Crowley asked her.

"Dean gave me a cellphone…" She admitted.

Crowley sighed with irritation.

"And yet, I still came with you… I'll be gone for a few hours; it's not a big deal. I haven't skipped out of you yet, have I?" She asked.

He took a few steps forward and stared her down as he spoke, "You're not going anywhere."

"Crowley you need to understand something… I'm not a dishonest person, I could have easily ported myself away or fixed up a nice supply of holy water to subdue you so I could flee, but here I am. Trying to talk to you, we agreed we accept we're both powerful and leave it at that." She said.

"That was before you got a power trip and decided you are calling the shots." Crowley said his tone low and threatening.

She took a few steps towards him.

"I am prepared to fight you." She said her light green eyes met his dark green eyes as she spoke.

He looked her over and then his ever present smug smile returned to his lips.

"You're serious." He said amused at her.

"You don't want to mess with me when it comes to Cas…" She said.

He laughed.

"I'm not kidding." She warned.

"That's what's hilarious… He showed up and completely uprooted your life, trying to mold you into a weapon for heaven. Your parents were murdered, you went to hell and yet you're fiercely protective of him…" Crowley said as he tucked his hands into his pant pockets.

"Not that I owe you an explanation for anything but demons broke into my apartment one night and Cas showed up… saving my life. He didn't kill my parent's demons did, and it was his superiors who wanted to use me as a weapon. And as for the going to hell part, that was on me because I went on a killing rampage with angels… know why? Because, it was angels that killed Castiel." She told him, her tone was unnerving as she spoke.

His eyes searched her face and he shook his head, "I'm not going to stop you… but are you sure he's even worth all of your loyalty?" He asked.

"What are you talking about?" She asked him.

"You only have a little over a week left of your life." He said keeping his posture calm with his hands still tucked in his pockets.

"Why? Because you're going to kill me?" Addison asked, unaffected.

"Why would I bother? No human born Nephilim has ever made it past their 21st birthday; they've all died on the exact time they were born." He explained.

"You're lying." She growled.

"I take it angel boy didn't tell you you're days were numbered?" Crowley questioned, as he walked back over and picked up his glass.

When he turned back around she was gone.

**~()~**

Addison looked around her room at the house she was staying in with Crowley, she grabbed her purse and grabbed one of her cards from an account she had put a large amount of her parent's life insurance settlement in.

She tucked it in her jeans pocket and ported herself into restroom at the hospital, thinking it would be better than directly into the room with him incase a hospital worker saw her appear out of nowhere.

She quickly headed from the bathroom and up an elevator to the floor he was on.

"Cas!" She exclaimed as she rushed into his room.

"Addison." He greeted smiling at her as he tried to rise up, but made a pained noise and laid back down against the pillows.

She looked at him lying in the bed, wearing a hospital gown.

Walking over she sat down beside him.

"I'm glad you came." He said.

She leaned down and pressed her lips against his, it had been well over 2 months since she had left with Crowley; she had missed him more than she'd ever missed anyone in her life.

"We have to get out of here… Sam and Dean have a lead on Pestilence." She said as she rested her forehead against his.

"Well get you some food on the way." She assured him.

"And pain medicine?" He asked.

"Am I going to die when I turn 21?" She asked him, not able to push the thoughts from her mind any longer.

His blue eyes grew sad as he looked at her.

"Crowley was telling the truth? I'm going to die when I turn 21." She breathed out.

Ignoring the pain his body was in he sat up and looked at her.

"It's not certain." He said.

"You don't sound hopeful." She pointed out.

"It's not a hopeful situation." He admitted.

"How many other Nephilim have made it past 21?" She asked him.

"None that I know of…" He told her.

"Then it is certain." She pointed out.

"I have also never heard of any Nephilim with all the abilities or the strength you possess." Castiel told her.

"Why do they die at 21?" She asked.

"I don't know, they just drop dead at the exact time of day they were born." He said.

"And my birthday isn't even a week from now…" She said, shaking her head as she felt tears sting her eyes.

"10:19 in the morning." He specified.

Her breathing started to grow uneven as she realized she would not live to even see 22.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, her eyes searched his.

"I didn't know how to." He told her the truth.

She took a deep breath.

"It's not important… we can't stop the inevitable, right?" She thought out loud.

"I am sorry." He said as he looked at her.

Ignoring the tears that were stinging her eyes she leaned in and pressed her lips to his again, as she held onto the side of his face; pulling back she looked in his eyes as she used her powers to heal him.

When she moved her hand his eyes widened and he looked down at himself.

"You… healed me?" He asked.

Handing him his clothes she said, "Get dressed… I'll be right back."

She made it down the hallway and into the bathroom, walking over to the sink she held onto the sides of the cold metal and looked in the mirror.

After splashing some cold water on her face, she headed back to his room.

He was pulling the tan trench coat on as she walked in.

"That's better." She said smiling at him.

"Addison…" He started to say.

"Shh, I don't want to talk about his. People die younger than 21 all the time… there's been worse tragedies. Let's just go help Sam and Dean save the world." She said as she walked up to him and took his hand, looking down she laced her fingers through his and led him out of the hospital.

"Stay here." She instructed as she walked into a bus station.

She came back out and he was turned around staring at the McDonalds down the street.

"I got us bus tickets… I don't know if I've got the juice now to port us both to Sam and Dean, so we're going to do this like everyday humans." She informed him.

"We've got about 10 minutes, are you still hungry?" She asked him.

"Yes." He said.

"Okay, come on." She said as she started to walk away, he reached out and took her hand like when she led him from the hospital.

She paused and looked down at their intertwined fingers, and then back to him as he stood there.

She laughed, and shook her head as she led him to the McDonalds.

Luckily there wasn't a line so they walked right up to the counter.

"Hi, can I help you?" A girl asked, as her eyes went to their still connected hands and she smiled kindly at them.

Addison looked at Castiel, "What do you want?" She asked.

"Oh." He said, smiling at her he turned to the worker.

"I need some food." He told the girl running the cash register.

"Well… you've came to the right place." She said, giving him a strange look.

"I have a growling sensation in my abdomen." He informed the McDonalds worker.

"Oh my god." Addison breathed out looking at Castiel.

"Are you ready to order?" The girl asked.

"Cas, what do you like? Hamburger? Chicken? A salad… what do you want?" She asked him checking the time on her phone to make sure they weren't going to miss the bus.

"I just need food, it's vital for human existence." He said.

The worker looked back and forth between them.

"What's wrong you with you?" She couldn't help but ask as she looked at Castiel.

"Unfortunately… I seem to be so entirely cut off from heaven that I am now human." He admitted to her a look of shame on his face.

"Now human?" The girl asked looking to Addison.

"Sorry… he's… ummm… don't worry about it. We just need a number 1 with a… coke, please." Addison ordered his food and looked at him.

They managed to make it on their bus just in time.

"For someone in charge of supplying food she asked a lot of questions." Castiel told her.

Addison smiled as she pulled the box containing his sandwich from the bag and handed it to him, while she put the bag on the seat beside her and held onto his drink for him as he started to eat.

"Do you like it?" She asked as he had taken his second bite and looked down at the sandwich.

"Yes." He replied as he took another bite.

"Good…" She said, trying not to laugh as she thought of what the girl from McDonalds had to have been thinking of them.

They were in the very back seat of the bus, there were only a few other patrons sitting closer to the front.

"How are you feeling?" She asked him worried.

"I am feeling too much." He admitted.

"Are you still in pain?" She asked looking at him.

"No, I don't mean physically… well not entirely, I don't know." He finally said.

After they made it to the nursing home where Pestilence was Cas walked ahead of Addison into the room where Sam and Dean were on the floor writhing in pain and sickness.

He had expected to not be too badly affected by the horseman, but within seconds he crumpled on the floor beside them.

Addison peeked in the room and saw the demon killing knife on the floor.

"Would you look at that… occupied vessel but powerless." Pestilence said as he looked down at where Castiel was on the floor.

Pestilence looked as Cas coughed more blood up onto the floor. "It's fascinating… there's not a speck of angel left in you." He said.

Addison ported herself into the room right by the knife; she quickly picked it up and grabbed the horseman's hand, cutting 3 of his fingers off including the one with the ring they needed.

He looked at her with a look of shock on his face.

"Yeah, real fascinating you dick." She growled, before quickly spinning around to stab the female demon in the heart who charged her.

Sam, Dean and Castiel all looked up at her shocked.

When the ring wasn't connected to pestilence anymore all the sickness he had cast went away. Dean quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed the ring off the severed finger still lying on the table.

"It doesn't matter… it's too late." Pestilence warned them before he was gone.

Addison helped Cas to his feet and looked at him worried, "Are you okay?" She asked, holding onto the side of his face and looking at him.

"Define okay?" Castiel asked looking at her.

"Addy… that was… awesome." Dean said, looking at her surprised.

"Thanks…" She said, as she continued to look at Castiel.

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><p><strong>AN- _Thank you for reading! I know it was a shorter chapter, but believe me 25 is going to be a long chapter... and rather eventfull. ^_-_**

_** Also, I haven't written any scenes like it for a while... but chapter 25 definitely comes with a strong M rating. ^_^**_

**I would just love it if you would take the time to leave a review and let me know you're still reading the story. I've really been working hard on trying to update more and make the updates regular. So please, don't be a silent reader... I appreciate each and every review. Even if it's just a few lines to let me know you're still with me! ^_^**


	25. Love in Motion

**Part Twenty Five.**

"_Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt." _

_~Unknown_

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><p><strong>~(AN- Disclaimer: This chapter is really where the 'M' rating of this story comes into play. There is a detailed scene with sexual acts…)~**

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><p>Addison pulled into the parking lot of a motel in the car she had rented after they got Pestilence's ring.<p>

She shut the car off and looked over to Castiel who was sleeping soundly in the passenger seat with his head against the window.

Getting out of the car she paid for the room and went back out to the car.

"Cas… wake up." She said as she opened his door.

He raised his head and looked around groggily.

"You… fell asleep." She told him, frowning slightly as she knew angels didn't sleep.

"Come on." She said as she helped him out of the car and into the hotel room, it wasn't too long after she got him to the bed, he fell back asleep.

Going to the small linen closet in the room she got a blanket and covered him up.

Taking a deep breath, she sat down in the chair across the room and watched him sleep.

She knew her days were numbered now, and even though she was tired, the last thing she wanted to do was waste even a minute sleeping.

Checking the time on her cellphone she frowned at seeing she had been gone for going on 6 hours from Crowley. But it didn't even matter to her anymore, what kind of a threat was death when it was already imminent?

Her mind drifted off to wondering where she was going to go when she died. Best case scenario aside from the seemingly impossible chance that she'd make it, was that she'd go to heaven, but with him being cut off from heaven she still wouldn't get to see him.

Shaking her head she rubbed her hands through her hair and remembered how she had killed angels, she figured that would be a one-way ticket into Hell. She took in a deep shuddering breath as she remembered Hell.

Addison got up and went into the bathroom holding onto the sink as she felt like she was going to vomit.

An eternity in Hell, she remembered all of the sickening, dry heat and the thick scent of decaying flesh and sulfur. Before she could shut the thoughts out, her mind went to the torture she had endured in the small time she had been downstairs.

She had been able to keep her memories of hell at bay since she had been brought back, but there was no running from it now. She tried to comfort herself by reminding herself that she might still get a ticket into the golden gates upstairs, or possibly even defy expectations and live.

Walking out of the bathroom she looked at Castiel as he was still asleep on the bed, flat on his back now snoring softly.

Tears started to sting her eyes at the thought of never being able to see him again.

She opened the door and walked out into the cold night air; shivering but trying to savor the feeling of being cold because if she went to hell she'd never feel that again.

After getting a soda from the machine she sat in the rental car and drank some of it in silence, she did her best to keep her mind blank.

She hadn't ever wanted to know the exact day and time of her death.

Deciding she was going to check on Cas one more time before she left for Crowley's she went back in the almost dark room.

After locking the door behind her she turned around and saw Castiel looking out the window in the back of the room.

"You're awake." She said, managing a smile.

"I thought you left." He said, turning and looking at her in the very dimly lit room.

"No… I have to soon though." She admitted.

He nodded but she saw the look of pain in his eyes.

She walked over and grabbed onto the sides of his face and gently pulling his face down to hers.

As their lips met she tried to store every feeling in her memory, she didn't want to forget how it felt to be in his arms, or the way she got butterflies in her stomach every single time he touched her.

She held onto his shoulders as he stepped closer, and held onto her sides, keeping their bodies pushed together.

Her hands moved back up as she held onto the back of his head, feeling like she couldn't get close enough to him. She could feel his grip tighten on her sides as both of their breathing started to hasten.

Pulling back she looked at him, her eyes searching his face. It was only seconds before their mouths were joined again, and a steady heat started to emanate from their kiss.

She could feel her heart pounding inside of her chest and she knew with the way he was kissing and holding onto her, that she wasn't the only one with the strong wave of feelings flooding through her.

Pulling back to breathe they stared into each other's eyes, both of them experiencing a feeling they hadn't felt before.

She watched as his chest rose and fell heavily, and his mouth hung open as he tried to catch his breath.

"I love you." She said, her voice barely over a whisper as she still stood in his arms, their faces merely inches apart.

"I love you… and I've never felt anything like this before." He admitted, his breathing just as labored as hers.

Grabbing his hand she laced her fingers through his, closing her eyes she stored the feeling of his skin against hers in her memory; she tried to forget about how she wouldn't have long left with him.

Before she opened her eyes, his mouth was back on hers. He couldn't get enough of having her with him, and more feelings and sensations started to rush through him as she slowly slid her tongue between his lips.

Both of their hands clutched onto the other as every kiss and every touch was more passionate than the last.

Pulling back she looked at him and her eyes slowly traveled across the room to the bed he had been sleeping on.

"I don't even have a week left to live…" She said, as she looked back at him.

He saw what she had been looking at and then looked in her eyes as she took another deep breath and opened her mouth to speak, "And we don't even know if any of us are going to survive this… but what I know right now is that I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I'll never love anyone as much as I love you."

Reaching up she held onto the sides of his face, as he leaned in and kissed her. As he pulled back from her lips, his eyes traveled back across the room to the bed.

Keeping her hand on the side of his face she smiled softly as she quietly said "I can't get close enough to you right now."

He kept his eyes locked on her as he said, "I feel like I can't get close enough to you either… I love you."

"I want to remember this; remember how it feels to be with you, because I don't know where I'm going and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to do this again. And you're human now…" She finished as she still fought to get her breath.

He nodded his eyes traveling to the bed again as he also tried to catch his breath and pulled her closer as he kissed her again.

Pulling back she swallowed hard and grabbed his hand intertwining their fingers again as she slowly led him over to the bed with her.

They faced each other standing beside the bed; she reached up and took his tie off, letting it fall to the floor a few inches away from their feet.

Addison gently pushed him back until he was sitting on the side of the bed, taking a deep breath she climbed on the bed with him, straddling his lap with her knees on the bed on either side of him.

Holding onto the sides of his face, she leaned her body forward against his as she kissed him more passionately than ever before; pushing his trench coat from his arms and shoulders as she slowly moved her body against his.

She quickly felt him returning the hungriness of the kiss as his hands slowly started to slide under the sides of her shirt.

Mimicking her behavior from earlier, he ran his tongue across her bottom lip before sliding it between her soft, pink lips.

She moaned softly into his mouth as their tongues tangled together she slid the black suit jacket from him arms.

Tossing it over by where his tie lay on the carpet, she took a few moments to appreciate the way her entire being was craving him.

Even just the feeling of his hands on her bare sides and back as he slid them back under her shirt felt magical.

His breathing continued to grow ragged as he held onto her warm satin skin, amazed at how perfect she felt under his fingertips. No one had ever made him feel the way she did, everything about her was drawing him in.

Removing his hands from her shirt, he grabbed onto the sides of her face keeping her mouth pushed tightly against his; even the taste of her tongue and mouth was intoxicating to him.

He pulled back from the kiss and looked down as she had started to undue the buttons on his white button up shirt.

Her green eyes locked with his again, and she knew without a doubt he truly loved her back.

Her fingers shook a little as she had undone half the buttons. Taking another deep breath and letting the air completely inflate her lungs she leaned in kissing him again as she absent mindedly unfastened the rest of the buttons.

Once his shirt was completely open in the front she rubbed down the front of his chest and stomach, trailing her fingertips lightly over his chest still trying to lock every sensation in her memory.

Pulling back from their kiss, her saw her cheeks had a slight pink flush to them; her lips, still damp, glistened in the dim lighting.

Running her hands back up his bare chest she slid the shirt from his shoulders, slowly running her hands down his arms as she pulled the shirt completely off of him.

His mouth hungrily claimed hers again as she continued to trail her fingers over his bare upper body, feeling the muscles under his skin slightly twitch wherever she touched him.

As he slid his hands back under her shirt she rested her forehead against his; her breath was warm and sweet on his face as she ran her fingers back down his arms and softly said, "Take my shirt off."

Leaning back still straddling his legs she let go his arms as he slowly gripped the fabric of her shirt and began to raise it up over her chest and head.

With her shirt still in his hands, he swallowed hard as he looked over her pale, ivory skin. His eyes stopping on the light pink bra with dark purple lace covering her chest as she struggled to catch her breath.

She searched his face as he looked at her almost bare upper body, wondering what he was thinking.

He looked back down to her soft t-shirt in his hand, before tossing it off the side of the bed like she had been doing with his clothes.

She smiled to herself; she had never imagined her first time happening the way that it was, but being with him made every single moment perfect.

Their mouths joined again, their lips moving slowly and sensually together; his seeking tongue circled and danced with hers.

Repeating what she had done, he gently ran his hands over her bare flesh in awe of how her skin felt even smoother and silkier than it had a few moments ago. He never wanted to let go of her.

Sliding off his lap she stood in front of him as he remained sitting on the bed. He looked up at her as she extended a hand to him; placing his hand in hers he slowly stood from the bed and faced her again.

Pressing her body back against his their mouths rejoined as he continued to rub his hands over her exposed skin; pulling back he looked at her, his blue eyes intense as they met hers.

He trailed a hand down the side of her face continuing to rub down her side he breathed out, "Your skin is the smoothest surface I have ever touched."

She raised an eyebrow at the statement and couldn't help it as she let out a small laugh and replied, "Umm… thank you."

He smiled back at her, "You're welcome."

Her smile grew as she leaned back in, kissing his lips and then down the side of his face and neck. After running a trail with her lips across his chest she pressed her lips against his again before taking a few steps back.

Kicking her shoes off to the side, she glanced down as she undid the button and zipper on her jeans, sliding them off her hips and down her legs and kicking them to the side by her shoes.

She glanced back down at her bra and panty set; a light pink with dark purple lace trimming.

Slowly she raised her head and looked back at him, trying to read the look on his face as he took in the sight of her nearly bare body.

Her eyes met his and he took a deep breath, trying to control his breathing as he ached to touch her again, to feel her skin under his fingertips.

Now being cut off from heaven and more human than ever before, new feelings and physical sensations poured over him as his eyes traced her body.

His pants started to feel more confining with every passing moment of looking at her.

He glanced down at himself before kicking his shoes to the side like she had done.

When he looked back up, she took a few steps forward as was back in front of him.

Once she was back within arm's reach of him, he immediately ran his hands back down her sides and now mostly exposed hips and outer thighs, still feeding off of how soft and perfect she felt under his hands.

Running her hands from his face and neck back down his chest and stomach; she looked down as she slowly unfastened his belt and unzipped his pants, making eye contact with him as she pushed his suit pants down.

Like she had done, he stepped out of his pants and kicked them to the side; looking up at her in her bra and underwear as he now stood in just a pair of boxers.

Wrapping her arms back around him she kissed back down his neck and then hungrily reclaimed his lips with her own as his hands landed on her hips and he leaned his body against hers.

Like she had done to him, he focused his mouth on the sensitive skin on her neck.

With his body pressed firmly against hers and his mouth and lips now caressing her left shoulder, she lost a little of her confidence when she could feel his growing hardness press against her leg through the soft fabric of his boxers.

Closing her eyes she refocused her mind on the way his every touch was setting her entire body on fire. She took a deep breath and calmed her slightly growing nerves.

Kissing him hard on the lips, she then turned around and grabbed her hair holding it up off her back, exposing the metal clasps of her bra.

Glancing over her shoulder she smiled as she nodded her head and watched him take a few steps closer and stop directly behind her.

He watched her face over her shoulder as he trailed his fingers over her back before looking down as he slowly and awkwardly unhooked the clasps on her bra.

Once it was completely unfastened, he grabbed the dark purple lace straps and slowly eased them over her shoulders and down her arms, pausing continually to press a kiss where the strap had just been.

She closed her eyes and hummed quietly as her body slightly shivered beneath his affections. It still amazed her how much even the slightest touch from him set her senses ablaze.

When the straps were just above her elbows, she held into the front of the bra, feeling a bit more nervousness emerge. She was already showing him more of her body than any guy had seen before.

He rubbed his warm hands back up her arms leaving the lace straps loosely dangling at her bent elbows.

Her body trembled slightly in response to him brushing her hair to one side as he lowered his mouth onto her neck again.

Feeling her shake under his hands he stopped kissing her, but kept his hands on her upper arms.

Glancing back over her shoulder she asked "Are you okay, Cas?"

"You were shaking." He said, his voice still airy.

"I know." She said, as she looked back forward and down at herself.

"Are you cold?" He questioned.

She smiled at the question and thought to herself how he'd be the only one who would pause everything to point out that she was shaking, and worry about her being cold.

Turning around she still held the bra over herself and shook her head back and forth.

"I'm just… I'm a little nervous. But I'm also really happy we're doing this… I'm glad it's with you." She told him, her eyes and words honest as she looked at him.

He looked down at the carpet before slowly bringing his eyes up over her body until his gaze stopped on her face. "I'm overjoyed to be…here with you." He said, giving her a sheepish smile.

"You are?" She questioned, returning the smile.

"Entirely. Everything about you captivates me, Addison." He said, his voice low as she took a few steps closer and her eyes met his.

Looking his almost nude body over, she let out the breath she had been holding and pulled her bra the rest of the way down her arms, dropping it to the floor.

Swallowing hard and not quite sure what to expect, she looked back up at his face; feeling more vulnerable than ever before as she now stood half naked in front of him.

The corner of her mouth twitched into a smile as she saw his blue eyes widen slightly as he watched her. She observed that he seemed to be holding his breath as he continued to stare at her.

Walking back up to him she kissed him with one hand on his shoulder and the other at the back of his neck, smiling against his lips as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him.

Both of them now only in their underwear, their completely bare upped bodies pressed together as their tongues slow danced in the searing hot shelter of their mouths.

Their mouths were still joined when he started to run his hands back over her body, still bewildered at the effect she had on him.

His hands stopped on her sides, right under her now exposed breasts.

She danced her fingertips down his arms until she reached his hands; taking ahold of both of his hands she pulled them up farther to her chest.

She heard him suck in a ragged breath as he now cupped and lightly squeezed her pale, rounded breasts. In response to his touch her nipples started to swell and harden against his hands as she arched into his hands.

Sliding his hands back around her back he kissed her for a few moments before his tongue and lips left a sweltering trail to her neck, and the spot he seemed to favor on the top of her shoulder.

Running her hand down his lean, strong frame she felt his muscles tighten as her hand rested on his lower stomach.

After a few moments she slid her hand under the waist band of his boxers and down until she felt his swollen manhood.

He moved his mouth up from her shoulder and gasped, the air getting caught in his throat as he felt her slowly wrap her fingers around his aching arousal.

The sensation was unlike anything he had felt before as she slid her hand slowly out from his body, keeping a firm grip on him as she moved her hand.

His grip tightened on her sides and he buried his face against her neck, forcing the air from his lungs as she rubbed her hand over the sensitive tip, and then moved it back up towards his body.

She smiled into the dimly lit room as she felt his body jerk in response to her touch, pleased at that her movements were making him happy.

He groaned softly, his humid breath warming her neck as she made a few more achingly slow passes with her hand over his rapidly growing erection. His fingers slightly dug into her hips in response to every stroke of her hand.

Letting go of his now fully-erect hardness, she took a deep breath as she grasped the waist band of the boxers, earning another pleasured groan as the material slid over his hardness and landed at his feet.

It took her a few moments to finally peer down and see his fully nude body, her heart was pounding inside of her chest as she realized how badly she wanted their bodies joined.

His blue eyes met her green eyes, both of their stares intense and heavily laced with a burning desire and need for each other.

He looked down at where his boxers were at on the floor as his eyes surveyed the rest of the clothes scattered nearby in the room, before his gaze stopped on the only remaining article of clothing, her underwear.

Following his stare she looked down at her pink underwear, and she took another deep breath as she grabbed onto the dark purple lace outlining the top of her panties.

Looking around, he remembered she had helped him out of his clothes. Walking up to her he placed his hand over hers; she looked up at him a little apprehensive as her stomach jumped from both nerves and excitement.

"Here… let me." He said, as his eyes bore into hers.

She swallowed and nodded, her hands releasing her hold on the thin fabric as he looked at her again before slowly sliding them down her legs.

Pushing his tan trench coat to the floor from the bed where it had ended up, she sat down and scooted back some.

He watched her closely as he climbed onto the bed with her; she raised up slightly so she could see him as she slowly and nervously spread her legs so he could take his position with her.

Laying her head back on the pillows the only sounds she could hear was both of their labored breathing and the sound of her hastened heart beat in her own head.

He looked at her flushed cheeks and then looked down over her silky, smooth naked body, before his eyes traveled back up.

Giving her a small, but coy smile he said, "I must admit, I've been thinking about this for quite a while now." His voice low and husky as he spoke to her.

She smiled back at him, "I love you." She told him before leaning up some as she reached her hand between them, taking his fullness in her hand as she positioned him at the juncture of her thighs.

Her breathing was rough and uneven as his manhood was now pressing against her delicate softness; letting go of him she pulled her hand back up and held onto his arms as he lay above her.

Taking a deep breath and bracing herself she locked eyes with him and nodded her head.

He slowly moved his hips forward, keeping his eyes on her as he pushed himself into her heated core, until he met a little resistance. Afraid to hurt her he stopped his movements.

Closing her eyes she gingerly lifted her hips up from the bed pushing against him, as he had stopped trying to slide into her.

Watching her and feeling her body pressing up to meet him, he nudged farther inside of her until the resistance was gone and she let out a small pained gasp and kept her eyes pinned shut until he had completely sheathed himself inside of her.

Both of their breathing grew more uneven as the walls of her body started to adjust to him.

"Addison…" He breathed out, his eyes searching her face.

Taking a deep breath and forcing air into her lungs she opened her eyes and looked at him.

Reaching a hand up she rubbed it down the side of his face and said, "I'm fine, Cas."

He opened his mouth to say something, but she pulled his face down to meet hers as she lifted her head from the pillow and claimed his lips with her own.

Pulling back from the kiss she laid her head back against the soft pillow and breathed heavily as he started to rock his hips against hers.

His breathing erratic; he could feel her body readjust to his length as buried himself deep within her.

She bit down on the side of her bottom lip as there was still a small amount of pain, but she wanted him more than anything. She had never felt so safe or comfortable with anyone before.

Leaning back down he kissed her with more passion than ever before, as he continued to thrust into her at a steady but slow rhythm.

He looked her in the eyes as he continued to move his body against hers. His mouth hung slightly open and his breathing shallow as they kept their eyes locked on each other.

He hadn't known anything could physically feel as amazing as it did to be connected with her, but it wasn't just the physical pleasure that stunned him; it was how he entirely felt himself merge with her.

From their movements she had slid up on the bed some, and they weren't as physically close as when they had started.

Rising up he grabbed onto her hips and gently pulled her back down to him, fully embedding himself within her again.

She let out a small moan at him filling her so completely and arched up from the mattress as she laid her head back down on the pillow her brows furrowed as she bit down on the side of her lip.

Her breathing was growing shallower as she raised up urgently smashed her lips against his; moving her body hungrily against his.

She continued to raise her hips and meet his every move; laying back down she pulled his face back down with her, breaking their kiss he pressed his forehead against hers as they breathed heavily into each other's mouths.

Moving his head he kissed along the top of her shoulder, breathing heavily against her sweat peppered, flushed skin.

She held onto him as he made small, masculine grunts as they repeatedly moved together.

Lifting his head and looking into her eyes again, he watched her as she pushed her body a little harder against his.

She had one hand holding onto his arm, and the other desperately clutching a fistful of the sheets and blanket underneath them.

Pushing a little harder into her, but still rocking together his body started to tense as he was in pure bliss with her.

Her chest rose and fell heavily and her breathing had started to grow frantic as she kissed him deeply, and pulled back looking into his eyes.

The pants and grunts he had been making were becoming more audible as the sensations started to peak.

His eyes were still locked on hers as he ran a hand down the side of her face.

She moaned a little louder as he pushed himself into her a little quicker than the pace they had been moving at.

Letting go of the sheet she was clutching, she grabbed his hand from the side of her face, lacing her fingers through his as her body jerked involuntarily up from the mattress, arching her body against his, her grip tightened on his hand.

Pressing his open mouth back to hers, his tongue circled with hers. He looked over to their hands with their fingers still intertwined, and then back to her face as their passion crested and he ground his body a little harder against hers.

She fought for her breath and squeezed his hand even tighter as she felt his body tense and release as he poured himself into her with a loud groan as his eyes stayed locked on hers.

Only seconds later her body shuttered against him as he brought her with him in the last final moments of ecstasy; her body continually clenched and released around his still swollen member milking another groan from him as she breathed loudly through her climax.

Swallowing hard she watched as he also fought for his breath, still laying over her with his body connected to hers.

Looking over at their hands, she slowly unlaced her fingers from his and reached up pulling his face to hers as she kissed him again before he rose up and removed himself from her body.

She rose up and looked at him as she pulled the blanket over them; he laid on his back still fighting for his breath.

Scooting over Addison cuddled up to his side and nestled her head against the side of his chest.

Looking over at her he brought his arm up holding onto her, as he felt her hot breath still uneven on his bare skin.

She smiled as she felt his arm wrap around her.

Gradually both of their breathing slowed and they both started to feel how tired they were.

Her eyelids grew heavier as she snuggled even closer to his side, and laid her arm over his stomach.

"Cas." Addison said, her voice barely over a whisper as they lay in the silent room together.

"Yes?" He questioned, fighting his heavy eyelids as he glanced back down at her.

"I love you… I will always love you." She said, trying not to think that her days were numbered.

"I love you too. I could never stop loving you." He said, his voice a whisper that matched hers, his tone honest as he tightened the hold his arm had on her.

**~(A few hours later)~**

Addison slowly woke up and looked beside her to where Cas was sleeping, his breathing slow and even as his bare chest rose and fell.

Sliding out of from under the warm blankets and sheets she looked back to make sure she hadn't woken him up.

Reaching down to the floor she grabbed up her clothes and got dressed.

Walking over to his side of the bed she leaned down and kissed him lightly, making sure not to wake him.

"I love you…" She whispered as she looked at his peaceful face one more time before letting herself out of the hotel room.

She wrapped her arms around herself as she looked up to the clear night sky, a light mist of rain had started to fall and she closed her eyes and let the cold, small drops fall against her face.

She savored all of the feelings and the memories of the night, before she ported herself back to the bedroom in the house where she was staying with Crowley.

Grabbing a pair of blue sleeping shorts and a thin light orange long sleeve shirt she headed down the small hallway to the bathroom.

After showering and changing into the clean clothes, she dried hair and headed back to her room.

Curling up on top of her blankets she finally let the tears she had been holding back fall.

"Please, tell me you're not going to cry until you turn 21." Crowley said as he walked into her room.

Sitting up she avoided his eyes as her chin kept quivering.

Wiping her cheeks she said, "I came back… what more can you possibly want from me?"

He walked closer and cocked his head to the side looking at her as his eyebrows slowly rose.

"Well… I was going to point out you're several hours later than you said…" He said as he continued to stare at her.

She didn't say anything and braced herself for him to yell and scream.

"But… it looks like you had a good reason to be out so late." He said.

"We got the 3rd ring." She explained.

"Yes… but that's not what I was talking about. Someone isn't as innocent as when they left this morning." He said, smirking at her.

She was silent, as her eyes widened and she refused to look up at him.

He shook his head back and forth, "You corrupted an angel with the sins of the flesh. Bravo, I must say I'm rather impressed." He continued to say, knowing if he kept talking it was going to make her squirm.

She kept her eyes glued to the blanket on the bed in front of her, but even from where he was standing he could see her cheeks starting to darken.

"So, how was it?" Crowley asked as she stayed silent.

Covering her face with her hands she said "Oh my god Crowley… please, just shut up!"

He let out a small laugh, thoroughly amused at her embarrassment.

"You shouldn't have told me… about dying at 21, I didn't want to know." She finally broke her silence, and changing the subject.

"Ignorance isn't bliss, Addison." He pointed out.

"Guess it depends on the situation, I'd rather have just dropped dead and not know it was coming." She said.

"You are going to cry until you're 21, aren't you?" He observed as she wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"No, I'm actually not." She said, finally looking up at him.

"No?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I am going to spend the rest of the night in bed crying because I think I've earned the right to do that, I've got barely over a week to live." She said.

"And then?" He asked.

"Then I'm going to live my last few days like I don't have a known expiration date." She told him, the look in her eyes determined as she looked back up at him.

Crowley stood in silence and watched her, surprised at the way she was acting.

"You know… there is a chance you might not die at 21." He said.

She looked at him with her red, bloodshot eyes and raised an eyebrow as she said, "Wow… look at that, a demon with a 'the glass is half full' attitude."

Walking over he reached into the large pocket on his coat and took a glass bottle of alcohol out of his pocket, setting it down with a light clank on her bedside table.

She looked at it and up at him confused.

"Goodnight Addison." He called over his shoulder as he left her room.

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><p><strong>AN- **_**I **__**know that I removed all my other graphic scenes from all my stories, and said I wasn't going to be posting anymore. But… I've been planning Addison and Castiel's first time since I started this story. I had to wait until he was at his most human point, because I felt it would be the most logical and believable time for it to happen.**_

_**I hope you guys all really liked the update! **_

**What did you all think of the chapter? Please take a few moments and let me know what you thought of the chapter, and let me know that you are still reading. As a lot of you know, I tend to focus my attention on the stories with the largest interest. So please, don't be a silent reader today. ^_^**


	26. No Use Anymore

**Part Twenty Six.**

"_God pours life into death and death into life without a drop being spilled."_

_ ~Author Unknown_

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><p><em><strong>~(AN- Disclaimer: This is another chapter is really where the 'M' rating of this story comes into play. There is a detailed scene with sexual acts…)~**_

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><p>A few days later Addison woke up a little before noon; after changing clothes she headed down stairs and saw Crowley sitting in the living room.<p>

"Morning." He greeted not glancing up from the newspaper he had.

"Morning." She responded.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Umm… I don't know, for what?" She asked confused.

'"Field trip." He stated as he stood from the couch.

"Where?" She asked, eyeing him cautiously.

"Come on." He said, as he grabbed her arm and ported them to Bobby's kitchen.

Addison looked around the unfamiliar room and then looked into the next room and saw Sam and Dean; looking back at Crowley she saw him pick up a bottle of liquor from the table.

She started into the room with Sam and Dean and stopped as she could now see Cas was in the room with them.

"Cas!" She exclaimed she ran over and hugged him, closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling as he wrapped his arms around her.

His eyes brightened at seeing her as he returned the hug and held her tightly against him, his heart races as his mind flashed back to the night they had spent together.

"Who the hell are you?" Bobby asked looking at her.

"That's Addison." Dean informed him.

Addison let go of Cas and turned around giving him a friendly smile.

"You're the Nephilim?" He questioned.

"Well, I prefer to be called Addison… but yes." She said.

"Hmm." Bobby said shaking his head.

"What?" She asked him confused at his reaction.

"I just thought being powerful and all you'd be bigger… or at least taller." He said.

Cas looked at Bobby, "Her physical size has nothing to do with her powers." He said.

Addison smiled at his comment and him not understanding exactly what Bobby had meant.

She stood right up against him and just enjoyed being back with him.

"Hey." She said smiling at Sam and Dean, who were turned around in the chairs looking at her.

They both said hi as they looked back and forth between her and Cas.

Shaking his head Sam turned around and looked back at Bobby,

"So how did you piece all of this together; how are you sure that Death is going to be there?" Sam asked, returning to the conversation they had been having before Addison joined the room.

"I had… you know, help." Bobby admitted.

"Don't be modest… I barely helped at all." Crowley said from the kitchen finally making his presence known as he walked into the room with them.

"Hello boys." Crowley greeted Sam and Dean.

Looking over at Addison and Castiel he smugly gave them a knowing smile, "Cas." He greeted.

She refused to look over at Crowley as she knew her cheeks had taken on a pink tone. She wasn't at all comfortable with him knowing anything about her sex life.

Looking back to Bobby, Crowley said, "Go ahead. Tell them, there's no shame in it."

"Bobby… tell us what?" Sam asked.

"Worlds gonna end; seems stupid to get all precious over one little soul." Bobby slowly admitted.

"You sold your soul?" Dean asked him in disbelief.

Castiel hung his head and gave a heavy sigh at the news.

Addison glanced over at him as she moved her hand and grabbed onto his, it didn't matter even if it was just their hands that were touching; she wanted to spend every possible minute with him.

His blue eyes met hers and he smiled at her.

Crowley explained that he intended to return Bobby's soul after it was all over.

Addison looked around the room biting her lip.

Finally she asked, "Did you kiss him?"

"Addison!" Dean exclaimed as he looked back at them. Looking back and forth as he saw her and Cas's hands.

"What? Like you guys weren't thinking it." She said, looking between the brothers.

"Charming isn't she?" Crowley stated to the room, glancing over at her.

"Did you?" Sam asked looking back to Bobby.

"Sam!" Dean yelled now looking at his younger brother.

"No!" Bobby exclaimed.

Just then Crowley cleared his throat and displayed a picture on his iPhone showing them kissing.

"I knew it." Addison remarked shaking her head.

"Really Addison?" Dean asked looking back at her.

"She did bring it up before anyone else." Castiel defended.

Addison laughed a little as she looked over at him.

Finally Dean stood up and said, "I'm sick of this, give him his soul back… now."

"I'm sorry I can't." Crowley responded.

"Can't or won't?" Dean yelled.

"I won't all right? It's insurance. As long as I have his soul in the safety deposit box you won't kill me. I'll return it when this is all over and I can walk away safely." Crowley said.

After they determined that Niveus pharmaceuticals was going to ship out a large shipment of swine flu vaccine laced with the croatoan virus; they decided they were going to stop the shipments while Dean went to Chicago to try and get Death's ring.

That night, they were outside of Bobby's getting things ready for the 2 separate but important tasks they were going to do.

Addison loaded the bullets into one of the sawed-off shot guns and handed it to Cas as Bobby sat in his wheelchair a little ways away watching them as he loaded more weapons into a bag.

Castiel looked at the gun and took it from her as he sighed heavily.

"What's wrong?" Addison asked him.

"I'm useless… what am I supposed to do with this?" He asked her holding the gun up.

"Well, preferably headshot cause if something's coming after you – you don't wanna just injure it." Addison said, looking at him.

"And where are you going to be?" Cas asked her.

"I'm guessing with Crowley and Dean trying to get Death." She said.

Once everyone was gathered around the van, Addison looked at Crowley. "Am I going with you… or…?" She started to question.

"You're coming to Chicago." Crowley informed her.

Cas sighed loudly and shook his head as he looked down at the gun still in his hand.

"What's wrong with you?" Dean asked him.

"Well, clearly he fancies her; don't you angel?" Crowley asked Castiel smugly, as he tucked his hands in his coat pockets.

"I don't like being away from her." Cas admitted to the group.

Dean raised an eyebrow at him, "Come on…" He said, shaking his head back and forth, thinking they had bigger problems at the moment then Castiel being upset over Addison.

"Well, I don't like being away from her." Castiel re-stated.

Addison looked around as all eyes were on them.

Shifting uncomfortably on the gravel under her feet she said, "So… how are we going to get the ring from death? Can anything actually kill him?"

"Right, umm. I guess you guys will need this…" Sam said as he handed the demon killing knife to Dean and looked back over at her.

"Keep it… Dean's covered." Crowley said as he presented a slightly curved weapon.

"Nu-uh! Is that really deaths scythe?" Addison asked her eyes wide.

Everyone looked at her. "You know, like the thing that the Grimm reaper carries around with him in the Sims games?"

"No?" Dean questioned.

"Never mind." She said.

"Yes, it's his scythe. Kills, golly, demons, angels and reapers and rumor has it the very thing itself." Crowley explained as he handed it to Dean.

"Totally called it." Addison said, smirking at Crowley.

"How did you get that?" Castiel asked him.

"Hello, king of the crossroads…" He reminded the group.

"Bobby, you just gonna sit there?" Crowley asked.

"No, I'm gonna river dance." Bobby said sarcastically.

"I suppose if you want to impress the ladies." Crowley retorted.

Everyone looked at Crowley confused.

"Really wasted the crossroads deal. Fact, you get more if you phrase it properly. So I took the liberty of adding in a teeny little sub-A clause on your behalf." Crowley explained.

"What can I say, I'm an altruist." Crowley said as everyone looked at him.

"Just gonna sit there?" Crowley asked him again.

Standing up Bobby looked at them.

"Son of a bitch." He remarked shocked the demon had helped him.

"Yes, I know. Completely worth your soul. I'm a hell of a guy." Crowley remarked smugly.

"Thanks." Bobby said his tone honest as he looked to Crowley.

"This is getting maudlin. Can we go?" Crowley asked as he turned and started for the Impala.

Addison smiled warmly at Bobby before turning and looking at Castiel.

"Be careful." Addison warned him, hoping he wouldn't go into a fight thinking he was invincible.

Cas nodded but still seemed upset.

"You're not useless… angel powers or human, you are absolutely amazing." She said, her voice soft as she spoke to him.

He raised his head and looked at her, a little spark of light returning to ocean blue eyes.

"Addison!" Crowley yelled from where he was standing.

Sighing she put her hand on the back of Cas's hand. "Please be careful." She said again before she rose up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

" Good luck you guys." She said to Bobby and Sam as she walked past them, avoiding their eyes.

**~()~**

After they were in Chicago, Crowley ported out of the car and was checking the city to see if Death was there.

"So, Addy…" Dean began.

"Dean?" She questioned.

"You and Cas…" He said his voice trailing off as he watched her in the backseat in the rearview mirror.

"What about me and Cas?" She asked him.

"Still trying to say you guys are just friends?" He asked, an eyebrow raised.

She was silent.

"Addison?" He questioned.

"We are friends… I care more about him than anyone else." She admitted, avoiding his eyes and looking out of the side window.

"Best be quiet Dean, she gets squeamish when you try to talk to her about her sex life." Crowley said, from the passenger seat.

No one had noticed he had ported back inside of the car.

"Oh my god, Crowley." Addison said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Wait… sex life? So you two…?" He started to ask.

"I am not going to sit here and talk about this… it is no one's business." She said feeling like her cheeks were redder then a tomato.

"So you did?" Dean pried, as he turned and looked over the seat to her.

"Hmmm, go Cas." Dean said under his breath.

"Oh my god." She breathed out shaking her head back and forth.

A little while later Addison and Crowley were standing on the windy city sidewalk Addison looked at Crowley after Dean had snuck in the back entrance of a pizza parlor.

"You're sure he's in there?" She asked him as she hugged her thin jacket to herself.

"Positive." Crowley said, as he looked over at her for a minute.

"What?" She asked, looking back to him.

Sighing he grabbed her arm and ported them right outside of the Niveus supply warehouse.

"Are you going to help them with making sure none of the shipments get sent?" She questioned.

"I'm not, I'm going back into hiding." He explained.

She looked at him confused.

"It's out of our hands now… this is all on Sam and Dean, if they fail we're all done for. If they succeed, splendid." He told her.

"Okay?" She questioned.

"Meaning… I don't have a need to keep you around anymore." He said.

"You're… you're letting me go?" She asked, surprised.

"Well, your clock is ticking anyways." He responded.

She laughed and shook her head.

"Good luck." She said, before turning and walking into the building.

She rounded a few corners until she saw a croat had Bobby pinned to the floor.

Running up she put her hand on the back of its head and concentrated like she did to kill demons and angels; she killed it within seconds.

Bobby looked at her wide eyed as he rose to his feet.

"Are you hurt?" She asked him concerned.

"No." He said still looking at her surprised.

"Thanks." He thanked her as he picked up his gun.

"Welcome. Where's Cas?" She asked him.

"I think they're over here." Bobby said as he started off towards the right.

Addison followed and they rounded the corner just in time to see Castiel shoot the head off of a Croat as it had pinned and was choking Sam.

"Actually these things can be useful." Castiel said, looking down to the gun.

"Nice shot." Addison said as she walked up beside him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her.

"Crowley dropped me off here, says he doesn't need me anymore." She said.

**~()~**

Standing in the bathroom of their hotel room, Addison brushed her hair and tried to avoid her own eyes in the mirror above the sink.

Even though she was trying to act like the thought of her dying didn't scare her, she was absolutely terrified.

She looked down at her navy blue spaghetti strap shirt and black shorts she had changed into.

Opening the door she shut the light off and walked out into the room, looking over at Cas as he sat on the side of the bed staring at the far wall.

Slowly she crossed the room and stood in front of him, smiling at him as he raised his head and looked at her.

His blue eyes surveyed her clothes, and he remembered the last time they were in a hotel room together. Immediately he felt his body grow warmer in response to the thoughts.

Standing he faced her, his breathing a little shallow.

She smiled to herself at seeing the look of desire in his eyes as he looked at her longingly.

Stepping forward she leaned up and kissed him, her stomach jumping with excitement as she also recalled the memories of their first time together.

Her soft hair fell between his fingers and around his hands as he held onto the back of her head, deepening the kiss and sliding his tongue between her soft, parted lips.

While their lips were still moving hungrily together, she removed his tie letting it fall to the floor like she had the other night.

His tan trench coat fell from his shoulders and arms on the floor behind him as she pushed it from his body.

She had started to slide his black suit jacket off when he slid his hands under her shirt, thinking that she felt even better under his fingertips than before.

Reaching her arms up, she rested them on his shoulders and smiled into the kiss as he started to slide her shirt up and pulled it slowly off over her head, his every move more assured and confident than before.

His eyes went from her eyes, to her lips before traveling down and stopping his gaze on the dark green bra covering her chest.

Locking his eyes back with hers, his breathing wa labored as he ran his fingers down her shoulders and arms feeling her skin start to form goose bumps and shiver slightly under his hands.

She hummed a small moan against his neck as his hands now rubbed down the sides of her body, still not able to get enough of the way she made him feel.

Addison quickly slid his suit jacket off of him, followed by the now unbuttoned white dress shirt.

Pulling back from their kiss, her eyes slightly widened as she rubbed her hands over his bare upper body, still astonished at how close they had gotten and how much she loved every single thing about him.

He swallowed hard as she kissed across his chest and up the side of his neck, causing his breathing to hasten even more as his heart thudded away inside of his chest.

"I'm glad you're here." He said as he leaned back and held onto her sides, rubbing his thumbs gently over her pale bare skin.

"I am too." She said, with a soft smile.

"When I woke up that morning and you were gone… I was deeply upset." He admitted.

She frowned a little at his words.

"I'm sorry, I was going to wake you up before I left but you were sleeping so soundly." She said, reaching down she held onto his hands that still had a firm grip on her sides.

"I felt lost without you here." He explained how her absence had affected him.

"I've felt like that for quite a while now, my favorite place is with you… it doesn't matter where we are, as long as I'm with you." She told him holding onto his cheeks as she spoke from her heart.

Her mind flashed between memories of them from the past year and a half she had known him.

She let out a small laugh at remembering the night he appeared in the laundry room with her at her apartment building, and how she had been terrified of him.

"What?" He questioned at her small laugh.

"I just… kind of can't believe we're here… with each other… doing this." She said, feeling her cheeks flush.

He had a slight look of confusion in his eyes at her words, "We've already made love." He pointed out.

She smiled even wider. "I know… and I can't get enough of you. But I mean that we've gotten so close and came so far from when we first met. It just amazes me is all."

Glancing down between them she could see the slight bulge through his pants, as she pushed her body against his, craving his attention.

As they pulled back, both fighting even harder for their breath as the undeniable passion and lust grew the longer they were in each other's presence; the love she felt for him still stunned her to her very core.

Leaning his head down he kissed across her shoulder, before he moved behind her.

She glanced over her shoulder, the look in her eyes left him breathless as he remembered the first time he saw her body.

His feelings had only evolved and grown for her since then, every single thing about her was even more alluring and his manhood strained and ached in his pants.

Closing her eyes she savored the sensations of his flesh against hers as he gathered her long, soft hair in his hands, looking down he shook his head as even the sight of her almost bare back mesmerized him.

"Addison… here." He said, as he kept her hair gathered in his hands and up off of her back.

She smiled to herself as she reached back both of her hands and took her hair from him.

With his hands now free he looked back down to the thin dark green fabric of the back of her bra as he unfastened the clasps one by one, making her body shiver every time his skin brushed against hers.

His movements were still awkward but he was able to unhook the bra quicker than the last time; he kissed the back of her exposed neck before sliding the silk straps down her arms.

She let it land on the floor and her breath stopped in her throat as his mouth was refocused on her neck.

Reaching around her, he hugged her body tightly against his as he continued to kiss her neck and shoulders.

She felt his breath grow heavier against her skin as he moved his hands up her flat stomach before pausing on her upper stomach.

"It's okay, Cas. You can touch me…" She said, feeling he was hesitant to continue moving his hands up.

"Okay." He whispered his cheek was against hers as he continued to move his hands up, letting her breasts fill his hands.

Turning her face sideways she kissed him over her shoulder as she placed her hands over his and held them even tighter against her tender skin.

He groaned against her parted lips as she arched into his grip, pushing her butt against the bulge in his pants.

Slowly he ran his warm fingers over her cool flesh, she slid her hands up and held onto his arms as continued to rub his hands down her body, until he reached the waist band of her black shorts.

She felt a slight hesitation and un-sureness in his movements again, as he grasped the elastic waist band.

Addison opened her mouth to tell him it was okay again, but before she could say anything he started to slide them down her toned legs.

Stepping out of them she turned and faced him as he kicked out of his shoes and unfastened his belt.

He was growing braver and more confident in his actions.

Feeling her staring at him he looked up, and his blue eyes met hers.

Rushing forward she pressed her body back against him, urgency in his movements as his tongue swept her mouth, both of their breathing grew even more shallow as she reached down and unzipped his pants sliding them off his body.

Smashing his lips back against hers, he held firmly onto her hips.

Rubbing her hands over his naked upper body several times, she danced her fingers down to the waistband of his boxers.

Knowing what was coming next he broke their kiss and rested his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes with an amorous look.

Castiel's body tensed as she trailed her hand farther down his body and into his boxers then slowly, but firmly slid her hand up and down his throbbing shaft.

His hot breath was harsh and uneven as he breathed against her face, feeling his manhood swell even more and harden, begging for her attention as she continued to move her hand on him.

Reaching up with her other hand she held onto the back of his head as she reclaimed his mouth with her own, his fingers dug into her hips over the silky dark green fabric of her underwear.

Removing her hand from his boxers she started to trail her other hand back down his body to pull the last of his clothes off, but stopped as he kissed down her chest running his searing hot mouth over the sensitive tips of her breasts.

She ran her fingers through his short hair and pulled in a lung full of air in response to his movements.

Lifting his head up he kissed her before pulling back and looking down the front of her body, his eyes stopping on her underwear.

Thinking how good her hands felt to him, he rubbed his hands and up down her sides before wrapping one arm around her upper back right under her arms keeping a tight hold on her.

She grabbed onto the sides of his face, sliding her tongue across his lips before she tangled it with his.

The way she had done to him, he kept his one arm tight around her and ran the other down her body.

She closed her eyes and brought his face back her, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest and she gasped as she felt his fingers start to slide in her underwear.

Swallowing hard she looked into his eyes, breathing heavier than before as she readily accepted his touch, while his fingers explored the sweet warmth between her legs.

Fighting for a breath she grasped onto his shoulders as he slid a finger over the swollen pearl of nerves. Her eyes locked with his again as he read into her response and slowly started to rub softly with light circles.

Keeping her hands on his shoulders trying to steady her stance as every flick of his fingers made her feel like her legs were going to buckle; she kissed him roughly, fighting to catch her breath as he continued to give her the touch her body was craving.

She panted against his neck in between kisses as she ran her mouth down his face and neck.

He loved the feeling of her hot breath over his damp skin where her tongue and lips had been on his neck and shoulders, and the sound of her soft moans and gasps in his ear.

Reaching her arms up she wrapped them around his neck as she put her forehead against his upper chest, under the front of his neck as her body started to jerk against his hand.

Her mouth hung open as she desperately fought for a breath; she kept one arm around his neck as her fingers dug into the top of his arm.

She could feel his muscles move under her fingertips as he continued to pleasure her with his touch.

"Cas…" She breathed out her voice and breath choppy as she moaned against his chest, and franticly grabbed onto his arm as she felt the dizzying explosion starting to stir within her.

Her irregular breathing halted as his touch sent her over the edge, and her body shook against his, she was thankful he had his other arm so tight around her because her legs buckled under the intensity of the climax.

As the intense waves of pleasure finally slowed, she was able to catch her breath. She still held tightly onto his body as she looked up at him.

His breathing was almost as uneven as hers when their eyes met.

Pushing her body back against his she open mouth kissed him, still fighting for oxygen.

She gently pushed him back on the bed, pressing another hot kiss to his lips before she breathed out, "Lay back…"

His eyes were intense as they bore into hers; he scooted back on the bed some but was still sitting up. Joining him on the bed she knelt with her knees between his legs and faced him.

Leaning in she kissed him again and repeated, "Lay back." As she gently put her hands on his shoulders forcing him to lie back until his head was on the pillows.

She leaned over him and looked into his eyes as she slid her hand back in his boxers, taking his length in her hand.

His body jerked up from the bed and she smiled into their kiss as his fingers tangled in her soft hair, keeping his mouth pressed tightly against hers as she continued to stroke him.

Pulling back from their kiss her light green eyes searched his face before she lowered her head and kissed down his chest and stomach.

He was breathing loudly as his muscles jumped and flexed under his skin while her tongue and lips were now focused on his lower stomach.

Rising up she grabbed the waistband of his boxers and started to slide them off of him; he raised his hips up a little as she tugged on the soft fabric before pulling them off and dropping them off the side of the bed.

She moved back up, again kneeling between his legs as she looked down at his full-standing erection.

Addison kept her eyes on his as she hovered over him and continued to slide her hand over him, smiling to herself as she felt him shift under her touch.

Taking a deep breath she looked into his eyes before she slowly lowered her head and kissed his bare lower stomach, glancing up she saw he had raised his head and was looking down over his body to where she was nestled between his legs.

Locking her eyes on his she rubbed her hand up and down his length again before she slowly lowered her mouth onto the head of his shaft.

She saw his eyes widen as he watched her take him into her mouth. He sucked in a harsh fast breath through his teeth as she slowly ran her tongue over him, before lowering her head back down on him.

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but she started moving her hand on him while she took him into her mouth again and again.

All he managed to do was groan loudly, as she swirled her tongue around the sensitive tip before locking eyes with him again as she brought her mouth back over him, and pushed his throbbing manhood farther into her mouth until he felt the smooth skin at the back of her throat.

She paid close attention to his body's response to her movements as she brought his length back between her slightly swollen lips.

He dropped his head back on the pillows and put a hand over his face as his breath rushed in and out of his lungs, in complete ecstasy from the magic her mouth and hands were working on his aching shaft.

Looking up at him as he still lay back on the pillows, his hips jerking up with every pass her lips made, she saw the one hand covering his face and the other laying awkwardly down at his side.

With the hand she didn't have around him, she reached up and grabbed his hand in hers.

Feeling her touch he raised his head again and watched as she continued to take him farther into her mouth and he squeezed her hand as she kept her gaze steady on his eyes and face.

"Addison…" He breathed out, looking back up to him she saw him take in a deep ragged breath and hold it as she felt his leg muscles start to move.

Even though he had already given her an intense climax, she selfishly wanted their bodies connected again.

She wanted to be as close to him as physically possible, for him to hold her close and rock through his high.

So when she felt him starting to lose it, she stopped her movements and leaned back looking up at him, as he slowly let out the breath he had been holding.

She slowly kissed back up his body, keeping the moment alive but letting him calm down some so he wouldn't climax so quickly.

As she ran her tongue up his chest, and brushed her lips across his glistening skin, he still fought for his breath.

After a few deep shuddering breathes he lifted his head back up from the pillows and looked at her smiling at him, before lowering her head and kissing over his shoulder on the way to his neck.

He rubbed his hand over his face again, swallowing hard and taking another deep breath and gently grabbed onto her hair and the back of her head.

She stopped kissing his neck and looked back up at him.

He pulled her face over to his and looked from her intense green eyes to her parted still swollen lips.

Running his thumb over her bottom lip, he looked into her eyes before pulling her face down to his, hungrily moving his lips and tongue with hers as his male member still ached for her touch and a release.

After a little while she separated her mouth from his and moved beside him on the bed as she pulled her underwear off and dropped them off the bed.

His breathing came in short, shallow breathes as he watched her now fully nude body climb back on him.

Leaning down she kissed him, running her fingers through his short hair before she took a hold of him again and positioned himself at her opening.

She felt his breathing stop when she started to lower herself down on him.

Addison watched his face closely as he looked between them, taking in another sharp breath and swallowing hard as he watched his shaft slowly disappear within her as she bit down on the side of her lip and moved down farther until she had taken all of him in.

She stayed still for a moment; he ran his hands down her sides his fingers gliding easily against her sweat glistened skin as she allowed her body to adjust to his length.

There was still a bit of soreness at first as she leaned down and kissed him when she started to rock her body against his, the pain soon subsided and she moved a little quicker and harder against him.

Feeling like he still wasn't close enough to her, he brought his hips up from the mattress embedding himself even deeper inside of her; groaning when he felt her tight, wet heat completely surround his still aching arousal as he filled her completely.

She gasped and leaned up placing her hands on his chest and continued to grind her body against his, his hands found their way to her thighs as he continued to push up from the mattress.

She closed her eyes and leaned back enjoying the feeling of pure bliss that radiated through her.

When she leaned her head forward again and opened her eyes, she found his eyes with her own.

Moving his hands up her sides he gently grabbed onto her arms and pulled her hands from his chest, as they continued to rock their lower bodies together.

Like she always did with him, he took her hand in his intertwining their fingers and looked up at her as he pulled on her other arm until her body lay flush against his.

Keeping their fingers laced on one hand, he wrapped his other arm around her holding her against him as their movements hastened and she started to pant into his mouth.

Her hair messily hung around their faces as their tongues mated in the warm, sweet havens of their mouths.

A low moan sounded from their kiss as he started to feel himself losing control.

The masculine noise and the way his arm tightened over her back and squeezed her hand was all she needed to send her into her second blood-rushing climax of the night.

Her fingers clutched onto the shoulder of his arm he had around her as her body broke into a frenzy of spasms.

She had her face beside him, her sweaty flushed cheek pressed against his as she couldn't even catch her breath as more and more waves of dizzying pleasure rushed through her.

Her body clenched tightly around him, he raised his head up from the pillow and buried his face against her shoulder as he let out a long groan he joined her over the threshold of glory with his own pulsing, jarring white hot release.

His body stiffened and released, pulsating within her as he released himself inside of her, still tightly holding onto her warm trembling body.

Neither one of them could move or even catch their breath for a few moments until he released his hold on her hand and ran his fingers over her back.

She raised her head and looked at him her cheeks a deep red color as she still tried to catch her breath.

Raising his head up from the pillows he kissed her, holding onto the side of her face with an adoring look in his eyes.

Rising up she unglued her still sweaty body from his, and laid down beside him; snuggling back against his side as her body still lightly quivered from the evening.

Feeling her shake beside him, he leaned up grabbing the blanket and pulling it over them.

After a few more deep breathes he turned on his side and faced her, pulling her closer to him. Her head was barely on the very bottom of his pillow as she lay down farther in the bed than he was.

Closing her eyes she moved her head forward resting her forehead against his chest.

Glancing down at her, he leaned his head down breathing in softly, savoring how her hair smelled so clean to him. Taking another breath, he kissed the top of her head before laying his head back down on the pillow.

She had been so quiet and still he thought she had drifted off to sleep, but a few minutes later she broke the silence of the room and said, "I would give anything to stay here… like this, with you forever."

Her voice was soft, and he felt her sweet breath warm against his chest as she spoke.

Castiel thought about her words and it really started to sink in that she wasn't going to be there with him forever.

He swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"I can't bear the thought of losing you…" He replied.

She clenched her eyes shut swearing to herself that she wasn't going to cry.

"We can't think about it." She said, feeling the lump growing in the back of her throat.

"It's all I can think about." He told her, the thought made him subconsciously tighten his arms around her, not wanting to let her go.

"We should really try and get some sleep… we've got a long day tomorrow." She offered, even though she hadn't planned on sleeping as she was now trying to remember every single passing second she spent at his side.

Closing her eyes and keeping her forehead against his bare chest she reached a hand up, and lightly touched her fingers to his skin, reminding herself that these moments with them were real because it felt surreal how much she loved him, and loved them together.

She kept her hand against his flesh and stayed still so he'd be able to fall asleep.

It was a couple hours later when she felt him pull away from her body.

He turned flat on his back, the way he had been sleeping the prior nights, even though she knew he was trying to get comfortable she wished he would have stayed the way he was laying.

But her sadness was soon swept away, as he got comfortable on his back and took a deep breath before he reached over and gently pulled her across the soft sheets until her bare body was pressed against his side.

She laid her arm over his bare stomach and snuggled her head on his chest breathing in his scent as his hold on her tightened.

Addison had been laying there for another hour, just enjoying the way it felt to be with him and replaying the events of the past year and a half in her mind. Smiling at the memory of the first time they kissed.

She relished in the memory of him first telling her he was sure he loved her. She pinned her eyes shut keeping the tears back at remembering when the archangel had killed him, and how she had never been so devastated in her entire life.

She was shaken from her thoughts when she realized he wasn't breathing the way he did when he slept.

"Why are you still awake?" She questioned, not moving her head from his skin.

"I don't know." He responded, as he stared up at the ceiling.

"What do you mean you don't know?" She asked, confused.

"I am tired, but I can't get to sleep." He told her.

After a pause he asked, "Why are you still awake?"

With the arm that was still across him, she danced her fingertips across his side and said "I'm worried about Sam and Dean."

He was silent.

"I don't like the idea of Sam agreeing to be Lucifer's vessel, if he jumps in that cage we're never going to get him back. Dean is trying to act strong but he's barely holding it together." She finally breathed out.

"I don't like any of this." He admitted.

"Me either… life is cruel." She said.

The room fell silent again, and she listened to the heartbeat echo in her head from her ear pressed against his chest.

"I should have told you about what is expected to happen on your 21st birthday." He said, his voice barely over a whisper.

"No you shouldn't have. Crowley shouldn't have told me either, I'd rather just drop dead than know it was coming and dread it." She admitted.

"If I could do something…" He said.

It seemed impossible but she managed to snuggle even closer against him.

"I know… but you can't." She told him.

"If I were still in possession of my powers from heaven… I might be able to stop it, or bring you back to life." He said, swallowing hard at the thought of losing her.

"This isn't your fault, Cas. It's no one's fault… it is what it is." She said, as she trailed her fingers over his skin again and closed her eyes trying to again store every feeling and sensation in her memory.

It was close to an hour later when she finally heard the familiar, smooth even breathing followed by his soft snoring as he had drifted off to sleep still holding her in his arms.

Even though she had planned on staying awake all night, it wasn't too long after he had fell asleep that she couldn't fight the exhaustion and she fell asleep also.

The next morning she woke up on the edge of her side of the bed in the hotel room, and smiled when she realized Cas was right behind her with his arm over her side as he snored softly against the back of her neck.

She stayed still not wanting to wake him until she heard his breathing change and he started to move.

Turning around, she lay facing him on the pillow, their faces only inches apart.

"What are you going to do?" He asked her, his blue eyes searching her face.

"About?" She asked, not knowing what he was talking about.

"Until the day of your birthday?" He asked her.

"Help Dean and Sam and spend as much time with you as I can." She admitted, her green eyes starting to glisten from tears as she was now only down to a few days.

"You're not leaving?" He asked her.

"Where would I go?" She asked him.

"I've seen on television that when most humans are faced with certain death, they try to make their aspirations come true before they die." He explained his reasoning behind the question.

"There must be places you wanted to go." He went on to say.

Feeling her chin start to quiver she shut her eyes for a few moments before she leaned her head forward pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I'm spending my last few days exactly where I want to." She told him.

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><p><strong>AN**_**- I really hope you all liked the chapter! I just can't stop writing for this story at the moment. ^_^**_

_**Also, I hope you guys liked the steamy scene… I know it's the 2**__**nd**__** chapter in a row. For those of you who don't like to read those scenes, I'm sorry that it's been 2 chapters in a row now… but I think it's believable that they are trying to spend every moment they can together, as close as they can get. I will always put an authors note at the beginning of a chapter letting you know if there is graphic content, because I know it's not everyone's cup of tea.**_

**Please take a few moment and leave me a review! I really want to know what you're all thinking! I appreciate your taking the time to leave a review, and I want you guys to know that I read every single one of them. I'm not kidding when I say they inspire me to keep writing. ^_^**


	27. For This is the End

**Part Twenty Seven.**

"_The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity." ~Seneca_

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><p><em><em><strong>~(AN- Disclaimer: This is another chapter is really where the 'M' rating of this story comes into play. There is a detailed scene with sexual acts…)~**__

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><p>Addison screwed the lid onto a gallon jug now filled with still warm demon blood, and looked up to see Cas doing the same to the jug he had.<p>

Her sad eyes then looked over to Dean who was wiping the blade of the knife off, and then to Sam who was pouring the last of the demon blood into the last gallon jug.

Following all of them out to the car, she sat her jug down next to Cas's in the trunk of the Impala.

"God, I hate this." She breathed out, choking back tears as she looked up at Sam.

They all got into the car and headed towards Detroit where they devil was rumored to be.

Half way through the drive, Castiel leaned against Addison and fell asleep.

She wiped a few tears away from her cheeks as she listened to Sam tell Dean he didn't want him to try and bring him back. He wanted Dean to go find Lisa and live a normal life with her.

After pulling up outside of the building they thought Lucifer was in Addison stood next to Castiel outside of the car as Bobby reported back that there were at least 2 dozen demons in the building.

"He's here I know it." Dean said, talking about the devil.

Addison watched as Sam started with Bobby as he said his goodbyes to everyone.

Walking up to Cas he extended a hand and said, "You take care of these guys, okay?"

Castiel sighed and gave Sam a sympathetic look as he said, "That's not possible."

Sam sighed with a slight smile and said, "Then humor me."

Addison nudged Cas.

"Oh! I'm supposed to lie. Uh, sure they'll be fine." Castiel said.

Shaking his head, Sam said, "Just stop talking."

Looking at her Sam said, "You take care of yourself and them."

"Okay." Addison said barely choking back tears as she nodded.

"She can't either… she probably won't be alive." Castiel slipped.

"What?" Sam asked.

Addison looked over at Cas and back to Sam.

"It's not important." She said trying to smile but her chin was quivering.

"It sounds important Addison." Sam said, looking at her confused.

"There are bigger issues." Addison said.

"Seriously, tell me what's going on." Sam said, looking at her.

"I'm going to die tomorrow morning at 10:19am." She admitted.

"What?" Sam asked more confused.

"Nephilim die on the exact minute they turn 21…" She confessed.

"Oh my god…" Sam said looking at her with sadness in his eyes.

"It's not a big deal." She shrugged it off.

"Yes it is." Castiel said looking to her.

"How long have you known?" Sam asked her.

"A while." She admitted.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He asked.

"Because I really, really hate goodbyes and tomorrow is kind of the biggest goodbye ever." She admitted, as some tears slid down her face.

"I wish you didn't have to do this." She said, her voice cracked as she stepped forward and hugged Sam.

After Sam had downed all 4 gallons of demon blood, he and Dean went into the building.

Addison rocked back and forth staring up at the window, "What do you think is happening?" she asked.

"I don't know." Castiel admitted.

Bobby stayed quiet as he was still choking back tears.

"I'm going in." Addison said as she looked at them.

"What?" Bobby asked.

"No." Castiel told her.

"Yes." She said nodding.

"Maybe I can do something… I don't know, but I just can't stand out here." She told him.

"If you try anything against Lucifer, he will kill you." Castiel warned his blue eyes sad.

"I'm dead anyways." She told him.

Wrapping her arms around him she hugged him tightly against her, locking every last moment with him in her head.

"I love you." She said, as she rose up and kissed him.

"Don't do this…" Castiel said, looking at her.

"I have to." She replied with teary eyes as she stepped back from his arms and ported into the room with Sam and Dean.

"Addison!" Castiel yelled, but she was already gone.

"What the hell does she mean she's dead anyways?" Bobby asked Castiel.

With sad eyes Castiel turned and told Bobby about Addison's fate.

Appearing behind Sam and Dean she looked at Lucifer seeing how his current meat suit was falling apart.

"Addison." He greeted.

She swallowed hard, and looked at Sam and Dean as they looked at her.

Turning his attention back to Sam he said, "A wrestling match inside your noggin. Just you and me, one round. No tricks. You win, you jump in the hole. I win, well… I win." Lucifer told them.

"We don't have any other choice." Sam told them.

"No." Dean begged but Sam agreed to be Lucifer's vessel.

A blinding light filled the room as the devil took his new vessel.

When Addison and Dean uncovered their eyes they saw Sam on the floor, starting to come to.

Dean looked down at his brother's body in a state of shock.

"The… the rings." Addison yelled as she reached in the pocket of Dean's leather coat and pulled the 4 horseman rings out.

"Ready?" She asked him.

He looked at her and swallowed hard as he nodded.

She threw the rings at the wall and they stuck as Dean recited the spell Death had showed him.

The wall crumbled open and created a kind of portal as the room rumbled and shook with wind flying through it.

"Dean!" Sam yelled as he started to wake up from all the noise.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled, helping his brother up.

"I can feel him!" Sam yelled grabbing his head in pain.

"You gotta go now!" Dean instructed as he helped Sam the rest of the way to his feet.

Addison watched as Sam staggered towards the hole, before turning and looking at Dean.

"I was just messing with you…Sammy's long gone." Lucifer said, speaking through Sam's body.

Looking over at Dean, Addison closed her eyes and used all the power she could muster to try and send him through the hole back into his cage.

Lucifer groaned as he fought against the power she was using, and managed to stay standing, until she had no more power left.

She looked up at him with blood running from her nose and some blood even seeping from her ears.

Turning around Lucifer said the spell to close the hole and tucked the rings in his pocket.

"I can't believe you were dumb enough to think that would work." Lucifer said looking at her, surprised she had as much force as she did though.

Dean looked over at her wide eyed.

"It was worth a shot." Addison said, with a slight shrug.

"I should kill you…" Lucifer said.

Addison nodded, thinking at least she could die saying she gave it her all.

"But why waste the energy? It is you're birthday tomorrow after all." He said with a twisted smile toying at his lips.

She swallowed hard.

Looking at Dean he said, "I told you… this would always happen in Detroit."

Then he disappeared from the room.

Addison used the sleeve of her dark orange bomber style jacket to wipe some of the blood off her face as she looked up at Dean.

Her heart broke for him a she saw tears welling up in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry." She said as she stepped forward and hugged him.

He was still for a moment, before accepting the hug and hugging her back.

She wasn't sure how long they stood there until he finally let go and stepped back.

They walked out of the building together in a shared sorrowed silence and met back up with Bobby and Castiel.

As they paused by a window display of T.V's they watched as the news detailed the rage of storms that had started all over the world.

"It's starting." Castiel said.

"Yeah, you think genius?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"You don't have to be mean." Castiel replied.

After Castiel told Dean there was no way to change anything now Dean said, "Now you listen here you junkless sissy we are not giving up."

"Bobby…?" Dean asked looking at him.

"There was never much hope to begin with." Bobby exclaimed.

"Addison?" Dean yelled looking at her.

"I'll help as much as I can, but I may not be worth much… I'm drained." She admitted.

"There is no way to undue this, the battle will happen on its chosen ground." Castiel told her.

"I don't really see that as a reason not to try…" She admitted.

Dean headed off and called Chuck to see where the battle was going to take place.

As they all met back up at the Impala, Dean told them the battle was going to happen the next day in a graveyard right outside of Lawrence, Kansas.

"Let's go." Dean said looking at Addison.

"It happens tomorrow?" she questioned.

"Yeah, why?" Dean asked her.

"What time?" She asked him.

"Does it matter?" He asked her getting angry at her seeming like she was going to back out.

"What time?" Shea asked her question again.

"Noon." He told her.

She shook her head from side to side.

"I'm sorry… I can't help you." She admitted.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I thought it was going to happen tonight." She admitted.

"So what? You've got something more important to do tomorrow?" Dean yelled.

"I guess you could say that." Addison said, wiping some more blood from the side of her face that had trailed down from her ears.

"So you're just going to chicken out now? You're just as useless as him!" Dean yelled as he tilted his head towards where was Cas stood.

"I'm sorry." She said, tears burned her eyes.

"What the hell, Addison? What can you possibly have that is more important than this to go to tomorrow?" He yelled.

"Dean…" Castiel spoke up walking up beside Addison.

"Stay out of this, Cas!" Dean yelled.

"It's my birthday." She said softly as tears started to rain from her eyes.

"You're birthday? Are you freaking kidding me?" Dean shouted.

"I know you're going through a lot right now and you can fully hate me if you want… I understand." She said, wiping her cheeks as more tears started to fall.

"Why don't you stop crying, and do something about this. Help me." Dean yelled.

"I can't." She said again her voice barely audible through her tears.

Dean opened his mouth to yell again but Castiel yelled, "Stop it Dean."

"Why? There's no point in even having her around." Dean yelled.

"Damn it, she said she can't." Bobby yelled as he watched Addison keep wiping her eyes as more and more tears spilled out.

"She can." Dean argued.

"She'll be dead before noon tomorrow." Bobby finally said, repeating what Castiel had told him.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I told you I didn't want anyone to know." Addison cried looking over at Castiel.

"He asked me what you meant when you said you were already dead." Castiel defended looking at her.

"Great." She said shaking her head.

"Somebody needs to tell me what the hell is going on, right now." Dean said looking back and forth at all of them.

"Every descendant of the full-blooded Nephilim die on their 21st birthday." Bobby repeated more of what Cas said.

"What?" Dean asked looking at her.

"It's not a big deal." She said, swatting more tears away as she started to realize how scared she was for the next morning.

"Oh my god… so when are you…?" His voice trailed off as he looked at her with wide eyes.

"10:19 am." Castiel answered for her.

"So you know… the exact minute." Dean said shaking his head and looking at her apologetically.

"I'm so sorry… I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?" Dean asked her.

When she didn't responded Castiel said, "She hates saying goodbye."

**~()~**

After saying goodbye to Dean and Bobby they went to the hotel room they had been staying in.

Grabbing her pajamas she went into the bathroom and changed into a pair of pink and black polka dot pajama shorts and a black tank top, brushed her teeth and washed the last of the blood off of her face.

Walking out into the room she looked at Cas as he took his coat off and laid it down on the table, and then loosened his blue tie as he dropped it on top of his coat.

"Well… I think the tears finally stopped." She said as she let out a deep breath and looked at him.

Castiel looked at her, complete devastation showing in his dark blue eyes.

"Please don't look at me like that… I don't want to start crying again." She admitted.

"I don't want to lose you." He told her, his words honest.

"I don't want to lose you either… but it's going to happen." She said, her green eyes starting to burn from tears threatening to escape again.

Looking her in the eyes he said, "I don't know what I will do when you're gone."

"You've been around for a long time Cas… you'll be fine without me." She tried to assure him.

"I don't think I will." He admitted to her.

Walking closer she stopped directly in front of him and grabbed the sides of his face looking into this eyes before kissing him.

"You're going to be okay, it's not a big deal… worse things have happened." She admitted.

"Not to me." He told her.

"Why do you keep saying this isn't a big deal?" He asked feeling a little frustrated at her seeming to not be affected by the grim reality.

Blinking her eyes rapidly to try and blink back tears she said, "Because I can't let it be a big deal… I have less than 8 hours. I can't just sit here and count the minutes."

He glanced behind her to the clock on the wall, and she didn't think it would be possible but he looked even more upset than before.

Taking a deep breath and trying to keep her emotions in check she said, "This is how tonight is going to go. We are going to have one last amazing night together… it's going to be beautiful and passionate, then after, you're going to hold me until 9 something in the morning. Then I'm leaving and going somewhere peaceful and you're going to go help Dean, or get something to eat… or watch T.V. or something, and you're going to remember tonight and how happy we are with each other and how much I love you, because those are the memories I want you to have of out last time together; not memories of me crying because I've never been more scared in my entire life."

He looked at her for a while before nodding.

"Okay, good." She said, managing a smile as she pressed her body against his and reclaimed his mouth with hers.

The way he kissed her entirely took her breath away, his movements full of emotion; sadness, love and desire.

Pulling back her eyes locked with his and she looked down as she unbuttoned his shirt and slid the white shirt and his black suit jacket off his arms at the same time.

He watched her intently as she rubbed her hands from the center of his chest out and down his arms.

She wasn't able to stop the tear that slid down her cheek as she realized it may very well be the last time she would get to touch him.

She couldn't catch her breath so she turned around putting her back to him as she closed her eyes and tried to absorb oxygen from the air and get her emotions under control before she ruined the moment by crying.

She didn't even know he had moved closer to her until she felt his arms wind around her sides and pull her back against him.

"I'm sorry." She said, swallowing hard and trying not to cry.

Still holding her tightly against him, he brushed his lips down the side of her neck and down to the back of her shoulder.

Her nerves calmed as she was able to focus on how gently he was kissing across the top of her shoulder.

Looking down to where his arms were crossed over her stomach she held onto his warm skin, and managed a smile as she felt his mouth on her neck again.

Slightly tilting her head to the side and allowing him more access to the tender area she closed her eyes and ran her fingertips over his arms and hands.

A soft moan escaped her slightly parted lips as she felt his uneven breath followed by his tongue and lips on her neck again.

"I love you." He whispered into her ear.

Turning her head sideways she found his mouth and kissed him letting her tongue trace his bottom lip savoring the way his lips and mouth tasted, before sliding her tongue in his mouth.

His body tensed from the intensity of the kiss, and he rubbed his hands up her abdomen under her shirt.

Breaking the kiss he kissed her shoulder again and said, "Every time I touch you… it's better than the last."

She smiled and turned in his arms, her light green eyes met his as she nodded and said "I know… same here. I literally cannot ever be close enough to you."

His breath was ragged as he reached under her shirt and pulled her black tank top over her head, not the slightest bit of hesitation in his movements.

She watched his blue eyes widen slightly as he saw she was wearing the same light pink and dark purple lace bra she was wearing the very first night they had spent together.

She resumed trailing her fingers and hands over his bare skin and she felt his fingers slide down her shoulder blades until they reached the clasps of her bra.

Their kiss deepened and grew more passionate as her entire being ached and yearned for him; her mouth hung open against his as she tried to catch her breath.

Reaching behind her neck he pulled her hair forward over her shoulder before pressing his body tight against hers, and looking down over her back as he unhooked the small metal clasps on the bra.

She smiled again; she was even more at ease with him as he was more confident than ever in his movements. She didn't have to reassure or guide him through any of it.

He grabbed onto the sides of her flushed cheeks and kissed her, pulling back he looked into her green eyes, the all-consuming love she felt for him was visible in them.

She reached up holding onto the sides of his face like he was doing to her and the feelings running through them only intensified the longer they looked into each other's eyes.

His breathing was shallow, not only from the steady heat building in him, but from knowing this was his last night with her and he wanted it to be just as amazing as she did.

He pushed his mouth against her soft, damp lips with a slight rush in his actions; he wanted to feel her smooth nakedness under his hands again.

She immediately returned the eagerness of his actions, as she ran her hands down his body and brushed them over the swollen bulge through the fabric of his pants and boxers.

His breath halted as his hips jerked forward in response to the pressure of her hand a few layers of clothing away from him.

Running his hands down her body, he grabbed the purple lace straps of her bra and pulled it from her body.

Before he had even dropped the soft, lightly padded bra to the floor, he had his arms wrapped around her back with his head lowered to her chest.

He wanted to touch her all over, feel every single inch of her smooth body under his hands because he knew he wouldn't get to touch her again.

She moaned softly and breathed heavily into the air as she leaned her head back and looked at the ceiling while his searing hot mouth and tongue trailed all over her exposed chest and shoulders.

Her fingers grasped his upper arms tightly when he began to pay special attention to the rose-colored peaks of her breasts, caressing the sensitive tips with his tongue.

Her knees grew weak; she gasped clutching onto his arms even tighter as his teeth gently grazed the swollen buds, when he pulled his mouth back his breath made her skin grow taut and her entire body tingle.

He kissed up the direct center of her chest; her body arched leaning her head back farther he focused for a few moments on the direct center of her throat.

Castiel kissed back down her chest and across her stomach, before grabbing the waist band of her polka-dot pajama shorts.

As he slid them down her smooth legs, his sight stopped on her only remaining article of clothing, the matching light pink and dark purple lace underwear.

Once his mouth was back on hers she hummed softly against his lips and tongue, the vibration tickled both of their tongues.

He exhaled heavily against her neck as he felt the pressure from her hand brush over his steadily hardening manhood.

She didn't even look down as she unfastened his belt and unzipped his pants.

Gently he pulled her over to the bed with him. She started to run to her hands back down his side, but before her hands reached the waistband of his boxers, he looked into her eyes as he grabbed the dark purple lace band of her underwear.

Her stomach jumped with excitement as she felt the soft fabric glide over her skin; kissing her deeply and passionately before he put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her down until she was sitting on the bed.

Now completely nude she scooted back but was still sitting up as he climbed onto the bed with her, pushing her down to the mattress with his own body.

His hands rubbed over her smooth skin, and their tongues danced. She had gotten so absorbed in the moment with him, that she had forgotten all the sadness and fear she had been feeling.

He moved over her, she had her knees together and over to one side.

As he continued to tangle his hands in her hair, his erection pushed the soft fabric of his boxers against her outer thigh while he leaned over her from the side.

She arched up slightly from the mattress as he started to kiss down her neck and chest; his lips reclaimed hers, he remembered how good she had made him feel the night before and broke the kiss.

Her light green eyes lovingly searched his face; as she reached up and ran her fingers down the side of his face, she tried to decipher the look in his eyes but she couldn't.

She smiled and her voice was barely over a whisper as she asked him, "What are you thinking about?"

"You." He told her, his eyes honest and intense as they bore into hers. His mind still recalling how good it had felt when she had put her mouth on him.

She wondered what he meant, but didn't ask.

He kissed her hard on the mouth again, before he rose up and moved down the bed.

She raised her head and looked at him over the top of her knees that were still together, expecting him to take off his boxers.

But her stomach jumped as he rubbed his hand along the outside of her legs from her thighs to her knees.

He passed his hands over the smooth, firm skin of her legs before he peered at her from over her knees.

Rubbing his hands again from her hips, down her outer thighs to her knees, his eyes locked on hers and he pressed a sweet kiss to the top of her right knee, earning a small smile from her.

Her breathing grew erratic as he started to pull her knees apart.

She swallowed hard and felt the same nervousness in the pit of her stomach that she had the first night she had been with him.

His eyebrows pushed together in a slight frustration when she kept her knees locked together.

Closing her eyes and awkwardly putting a hand over her stomach as her nerves continued to make her stomach jump, she submitted when she felt him apply a little more pressure trying to separate her knees.

Her body trembled as she was more nervous than she had ever felt with him before, when he kissed her knee again, and slowly moved his mouth up her inner thigh.

Addison's muscles twitched under her skin as she grabbed onto the sheet underneath her as his mouth moved even closer to the apex of her legs.

"_Oh my god", _She breathed out getting a sudden burst of anxiousness as his mouth was still slowly moving up her inner thigh, she raised up on her elbows and looked down her body at him.

Rising up also he watched her face intently as she stared at him with wide eyes, a slight look of fear in them as he pushed her legs even farther apart.

His eyes moved from her face to her hand; she still was desperately clutching the sheet as she had never felt more vulnerable or exposed as she did at that moment.

Sliding an arm under her bent leg, he moved it out until his hand landed on top of hers.

Her green eyes were still wide as he had to pry her fingers from the sheet, until she let go and he lovingly laced his fingers with hers.

Her other hand went straight down beside her nervously grabbing the sheet as her other hand gripped his tightly.

She immediately regretted her decision to rise up and look down at him when his blue eyes locked with hers for a few seconds before he slowly started to move his head down.

Quickly laying her head back on the pillow she breathed out, "_Oh my god", _again as she worried what was going through his head with his face directly in front of her passion dampened depths.

She felt his lips and tongue brush her upper inner thigh again, and she let go of the sheet, pointing her elbow in the air as she laid her arm over her eyes.

Her breath came in short gasps and she onto his hand, she wished she had taken the lead again with their actions again But for the first time he was taking charge and his face was merely inches away from her womanhood.

As he still kissed along her inner thighs he breathed in and could faintly smell the sweet, natural scent of her arousal, her scent drew him in.

He thought to himself how every single thing about her was perfect to him, like she had been tailor made just for him.

When she felt his lips brush against her inner thigh again she clutched his hand even tighter and took in a deep breath and shook her head back and forth on the pillow.

With her nerves getting the best of her she was getting ready to tell him she wasn't ready for him to use his mouth on her yet, when his breath and then his searing hot mouth landed on her moist, tender flesh.

Every muscle in her body clenched as he started to explore her with his mouth and tongue.

Her mouth was open as she gasped in small pants trying to catch her breath as she tightened her arm over her eyes, in partial disbelief of what was happening and shocked at how intense the sensations were.

Remembering the sensitive spot his fingers had found the night before, he focused his tongue over the sensitive button.

Her body jerked up from the mattress as she moaned loudly into their silent hotel room, squeezing his hand even tighter.

She trembled and a thin layer of sweat started to emerge from her pores and made her body glisten.

As he continued to focus his attention on the same spot she gasped loudly and the arm she had over her eyes, landed straight down at her side grabbing a fistful of the sheet and pulling it up from the mattress.

Starting to feel herself losing control her entire body tensed and she couldn't breathe as she shifted restlessly under his affections.

Her body jerked involuntarily as the feelings started to crest, but she kept her eyes pinned shut not able to gather the confidence to look down her body to him again.

"_Wait, Cas… oh… oh my god." _She breathed out, her voice raspy and words choppy as his mouth brought her to the moment of release.

Her body arched up from the mattress higher than before as the pleasure she was feeling seemed to explode into a thousand different directions and fill every single space of her body.

She could feel the aftershocks all the way from her scalp to her toes as he flicked his tongue over the same spot again, she quickly let go of his hand and squirmed up a little ways from him.

Still trying franticly to catch her breath, and get the courage to open her eyes and look at him.

She felt the mattress shift, as he moved over her again.

Aware that he was above her, she took a deep breath and slowly started to open her eyes, her cheeks a deep red from both the desire still burning in her core and slight embarrassment; she felt like she had been screaming out into the room.

Her light green eyes gradually started to search his face before finally locking her gaze with his as he watched her intently with his blue eyes.

His eyes traveled down to her bare chest still rising and falling rapidly before moving back up over her face, knowing how he had just made her feel he smiled down at her.

She was still unsure as she looked up at him, her body was still trembling.

Castiel's voice was low and husky as he said, "I love you… I love everything about you."

The statement caught her a little of guard, but started to put her mind and anxiety to rest as she ran her fingers through his short hair, before trailing them down the side of his face.

He slowly started to lower his face to hers, pausing for a second before smashing his lips and tongue against her mouth.

She wasn't entirely sure how to respond as she could taste the familiar taste of his tongue, mixed with her own unfamiliar taste.

She quickly fell back into the heat of the moment with him as she felt his hard length still sheltered in his boxers press against her leg.

Pulling back and trying to catch her breath, she smiled up at him "I love everything about you too."

Leaning back he removed and discarded his boxers on the floor and settled back between her legs.

He kept his eyes on hers as he eased himself inside her, his movements still gentle, but more confident than before as held himself up with his arms and watched her closely.

Hardly pausing before he started to rock his hips against hers, she matched his every thrust willingly accepting the invasion of his body within her own.

She rose up from the pillows pressing a heated and urgent kiss to his lips as she ran her hands over his back and down his arms.

Laying back she pressed her head hard into the soft pillows, in a state of suspended bliss as he lay down on her body, and their arms tangled around each other as his movements started to speed up in both speed and intensity.

She gasped and quickly adjusted her own movements to match his again, he let out a low, masculine groan into her mouth as she rocked her hips against his, running her nails lightly across the skin on his lean back as she held him close to her.

Running her hand through his hair again and pulling his face back down to meet hers, she moved her lower body up even farther to meet his, starting to feel her body shaking under him again.

He lowered his head and breathed rough and heavily against her shoulder as he started to feel himself getting close to release.

With one hand on his back and the other on the back of his neck, she closed her eyes thinking how perfectly they fit together in every way imaginable.

He grunted against her neck as he sank himself into her again and again, his movements still picking up slightly.

Turning her face towards the shoulder he was kissing, she rubbed her hand over his back and said "I love you so much."

He heard her, but couldn't respond as she again moved her body up to meet his; gasping for air as he was just starting to bring her with him over the threshold to the edge of euphoria.

Again she trailed her finger tips over his back, feeling his muscles ripple under his smooth, firm skin as he repeatedly ground his body into hers.

Her upper body arched up from the mattress against him, and he quickly wrapped his arms around her, cradling her in his arms as they lay back down and his tongue sought refuge between her parted lips kissing her passionately.

Raising his head from their kiss he rested his forehead against hers as he breathed hard into her open mouth, eyes locked on hers and still holding her in his arms.

He groaned loudly, keeping his eyes on hers as it felt like lightning bolts of pure pleasure were shooting through his body.

She panted and breathed heavily through her incredible climax, and was just starting to come down from her high as his body tensed in her arms.

Addison fought for air and held him tight as he continued to thrust though his own dizzying, hot, pulsating release.

Their eyes locked on each other through the final shuttering moments, as his pulsing life flooded through her.

Lowering his head again, he kissed her deeply not wanting to let go of her. They stayed in each other's arms for a little while longer before separating their bodies and using a sheet to cover them.

Just like she had told him to do, he wrapped his arms around her pulling her hot, sweat peppered body against his; holding her tightly as he was now also trying to savor every moment he had left with her.

She managed to smile through her sadness as she was spending her assumed last night on earth exactly where she wanted to, and everything that happened between them was beautiful and passionate like she had wanted it to be.

Not just for herself, but for him to have memories of exactly how deeply she loved him.

A few hours later they were still in the same position, his arms still wrapped tightly around her body as they lay under the sheets together.

She looked at the clock, it was a little after 6am.

"Have you been to sleep?" She whispered.

"No." He answered.

"Me either." She said, as she snuggled even closer to his body under the blanket and closed her eyes, even though neither of them had any intention of sleeping as they were down to going on less than 4 hours left with each other.

Every once in a while she'd open her eyes and look up at the clock.

At 9:40 she raised up and looked at him, he was still awake too.

Leaning over him she kissed him before sliding out of the bed and pulling her clothes from the day before on.

As she sat down on the side of the bed to tie her shoes she looked behind her to see Cas dressed back in his suit and shrugging into his trench coat.

She sat with him until the clock said 10:05am.

"I have to go." She said.

"Maybe I should come with you." He said, as he stood only inches in front of her.

"No… that's not a memory you need. I told you this right here… this is what you'll want to remember. And it's what I want you to remember." She argued.

"But…" He started to cut her off but she leaned forward silencing him with a kiss.

Looking at the clock it was now 10:10.

"I love you so much… don't ever forget that." She said as she rested her forehead against his and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you too, Addison." He said, looking at her as she stepped back.

She looked at the clock, 10:12, when she looked back at him he was staring at his hand with a confused look on his face.

"What?" She asked.

She watched as he wiped his cheek with his hand and stared at it again.

Walking up to him she grabbed his chin and made him look at her; he had some tears falling from her eyes.

"I'm… crying." He stated looking at her.

She managed a weak smile, "I can see that."

"This has never happened…" He said; he seemed astonished at it.

"You're human now… it's normal in heartbreaking situations." She reminded him.

"I don't like it." He told her as he felt a lump in his throat and his eyes burned.

"I don't either…" She told him as she rested her hand on the side of his face, barely able to hold her own tears at bay.

Kissing him one more time she breathed out, "I love you."

"I love you too." He replied watching her as she stepped back and then disappeared in front of his eyes.

Addison looked around the large woods back in her home state of Indiana.

She sat on the ground with her back leaned up against a tree; in the shade of its tall branches and thick leaves she took a few deep breathes of the fresh air as she looked at her phone and it changed from 10:17 to 10:18.

Taking one more deep breath she dropped her phone on the ground beside her and rested her head back against the tree as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

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><p><strong>AN- _Thank you all so much for reading the latest chapter! I hope you all liked it. ^_^_**

_**Can you guys believe it's almost 2013? It just seems unreal... I hope you all have had/are having an awesome holiday season!**_

_**On my profile there are links to my twitter and polyvore account. I make sets to go along with a few of the chapters from various stories.**_

**I'd appreciate it if you would take the time to leave me a review and let me know if you're still reading. I've really been trying hard to keep updates coming for this and several of my other stories, and I focus my attention on my more popular ones. Even if it's just a few lines to let me know you're still reading. ^_^**


	28. Have You Ever Seen the Rain

**Part Twenty Eight.**

"_While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die." ~Leonardo Da Vinci_

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><p>"Miss, miss." A man said as he shook Addison.<p>

Slowly her eyes opened and she looked up at the sky as the sun was starting to set.

"Everything is okay… we're going to get you out of here." The man said as he motioned for his team to join him.

Addison's light green eyes couldn't seem to focus and she tried to sit up.

"Try not to move, I don't know how badly you're hurt." He man said.

She blinked rapidly trying to bring everything around her into focus.

She felt pressure on her upper arm as someone slid a blood pressure cuff on her.

Just as her eyes had started to focus there was a tiny blinding light, as the man shined a little flashlight into her eyes.

Pinning them shut she took a deep breath and opened them.

She looked at his blue uniform and then to his blue hat that had large yellow lettering spelling, E.M.T.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked.

She gasped as she looked back up to the sky, there was an array of bold colors as the sun was setting; she had seen plenty of sunsets before, but every color was richer than she had ever seen before.

The world looked the same, only as if it were in hi-definition; everything was heightened.

She looked down at her lap as a few tears fell from her eyes.

"This isn't hell." She breathed out; looking at the man still knelt in front of her.

"What?" He asked confused.

"I did it… I made it into heaven." She said, managing a small smile.

"Even though… I never pictured it would look like this, or that I'd have E.M.T's in my heaven." She admitted shaking her head.

Before her face scrunched up as she asked, "Why do I have E.M.T's in my heaven?"

"Heaven?" The man questioned.

"Yes, this is heaven isn't it…? I've been to hell and this isn't hell." She informed him.

"I believe you hit your head, there's some blood on your face… can you tell me your name?" He asked.

"Why does it matter?" She asked him confused.

"We're going to get you to the hospital." He said.

"Hospital? Why are there hospitals in heaven?" She questioned.

"Miss, you are not in heaven." He said, worried she might have really hit her head hard.

"Then where are we?" She asked.

"Indiana." The man answered.

Addison's eyes widened, "What? You mean… I'm not dead?"

"No." He told her.

"I have to go." She said standing up.

"Whoa… take it easy." He said, grabbing on her arms to make sure she didn't fall over.

Now that she was standing, she surveyed the land around her.

"Oh my god… what the hell happened?" She gasped, as she saw all the trees laid over on their sides, everything had been flattened.

"Everything within a 2 mile radius was completely leveled." He explained.

"Why?" She asked.

"Let's get you to the ambulance so I can check you over." He said, as he started to lead her to where several ambulances and police cars were parked, sirens off but lights flashing.

He started to look her over and she asked, "Why does it look like a bomb went off or something?"

The EMT looked at her, "We're not sure what caused the blast."

"Blast?" She asked.

"I don't want to alarm you." He admitted.

"Please, tell me…" She pleaded.

He sighed, "It was about 10:20 this morning, a blinding orange-red light shot down from the sky to the exact spot where we found you. Before 10:30 hit everything within 2 miles all around us was leveled.

"What time is now?" she asked.

"Going on 6pm." He told her.

"So I've been lying out there since this morning?" She asked.

"Unfortunately yes, emergency response teams were ordered to wait until the bomb squad inspected and secured the area. With a 2 mile radius… it was a very long process." He informed her.

She nodded swallowing hard.

"I don't know what happened out there… but I'd say it's a miracle you're alive." He said.

"You're telling me." She said.

"I have to go." She told him.

"Go where? We need to get you to the hospital." He said.

"Okay." She said as she nodded.

He told her he was going to talk to one of the officers and he'd be right back.

Once he was gone and she looked around making sure no one was watching, she ported herself to Bobby's house.

She arrived in his kitchen and watched as he opened the refrigerator and took a beer out.

"What happened?" She asked.

Turning around his eyes widened and he dropped the glass bottle to the floor, it shattered on impact.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." She apologized.

"Addison?" He asked, taking a step back.

"What?" She asked.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

"I think so… I just woke up a few minutes ago." She informed him.

"Did someone beat the hell out of you or something?" Bobby asked.

"I don't think so, I actually feel pretty good. Why?" She asked, confused.

"Your face is covered in dried blood." He informed her.

Walking into the bathroom she gasped as she looked into the mirror. Sure enough, her entire face was stained and covered in dried blood. She didn't even recognize herself.

"Oh my god…" She breathed out.

"Uh-huh." Bobby said with a nod.

"Now I see why I scared you." She said as she took the washrag from him, and turned the hot water on.

"So tell me what happened… with Sam and everyone." She said as she leaned over the sink and started to wash her face off.

Bobby explained that Sam had managed to take control back from Lucifer and that Castiel had been brought back to life, and healed Dean and then brought Bobby back to life.

"So Cas is okay?" She questioned.

He nodded as he handed her a towel and she dried the water off of her face.

"Thank you." She said as she laid the towel down on the sink and looked at herself in the mirror smiling when all the blood was gone.

"I have to ask… how are you alive." He asked.

"I have no idea." She admitted as she followed him into the study.

"What do you remember?" Bobby asked her as he leaned up against his desk.

"Well, I remember saying bye to you and Dean yesterday. Then spending the night with Cas…" Her voice trailed off as she felt her cheeks redden.

Avoiding his eyes she went on, "Then telling Cas bye this-morning and leaving him at about 10:14am. I went to a woods in my home state of Indiana, rested against a tree and waited for death, hoping it would be quick and painless."

"There was a wooded area completely leveled in Indiana earlier today." He informed her.

"Yeah, I woke up smack-dab in the middle of it. The EMT told me a bright red-orange light dropped from the sky to where I was. But I don't remember it." She admitted.

"I'll be damned." Bobby remarked shaking his head.

"I'm going to find Cas." She informed him, as she said goodbye.

Walking out of his house onto the salvage yard she closed her eyes and thought about Castiel.

Opening her eyes she looked around stunned, she wasn't sure how she knew… but she could feel where he was.

Porting to him, she watched as he sat on a dark purple couch with his back to where she had appeared.

Opening her mouth she was getting ready to say something but she looked around.

She had no idea where they were but the place was beautiful, it looked like paradise to her.

The walls of the room were a slate gray color, and some of the walls were exposed red brick.

Large canvas paintings and aged black and white photos decorated the small but inviting space.

Her eyes went to a small fire place where a fire burned brightly, filling the air with the intoxicating scent of burning wood; closing her eyes she took in a deep breath savoring the scent as it tickled her senses.

Turning around she saw a small open kitchen behind her, she smiled at how the appliances looked like they were from a different time but in mint condition.

Spinning in place again she saw a large flat screen T.V. on a stylish stand with lots of movies lining the surrounding shelves.

She wasn't sure how, but she hadn't even realized there was music playing.

Her mouth curved up into a small smile as she heard one of her favorite songs, 'Have You Ever Seen the Rain' by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

"_Yesterday and days before, sun is cold and rain is hard. I know, been that way for all my time. Till forever on it goes through the circle fast and slow. I know it can't stop, I wonder. I want to know… have you ever seen the rain?" _

Her favorite lyrics played from a record on an old record player situated in the corner of the living room, the familiar beat of the music crackling as the record spun under the needle.

Addison had always preferred the way songs sounded when played from a vinyl record. Her eyes widening as she looked to the wall beside the record player; floor to ceiling shelves were filled with hundreds of records.

Taking another deep breath of the wood fire, she finally stopped her gaze on the large crystal clear floor to ceiling windows against the far wall.

Her breath caught in her throat, it was the perfect view of the New York City skyline at night, just like she had seen so many times in movies.

The tall skyscrapers with offices and apartments lit up on all different floors, the sky had some dark clouds and the moon was half shrouded in their shadows but it was breathtaking, she even had a perfect view of the Brooklyn Bridge and the city lights reflecting on the East River.

"Are we in New York? This place is… perfect." She breathed out, her light green eyes wide as she continued to take in her surroundings.

She watched as Castiel stood and turned around as he looked at her shocked.

"Addison…" His voice trailed off.

"Look at you… back to full strength." She said smiling widely at him.

"Stronger than before." He admitted.

Taking a few steps closer his blue eyes searched her face as he said, "I searched for you... earth…heaven and hell. I couldn't find you."

"I never died… I woke up in the same woods I went to do die in." She admitted.

"Now I understand." He said, nodding.

"I'm glad you do… because I still don't." She told him.

"I don't understand all of it, but I couldn't find you on earth because you've got the Enochian carved into your ribs. You're still hidden from angels." He said.

She nodded, her eyes locking with his as she wondered if things would change between them now that he was full angel again.

"I'm still not sure how you're alive." He told her.

"Neither am I, but I feel better than before." She admitted.

After staring at each other for a few more minutes he walked closer and wrapped his arms around her, he had thought he'd lost her forever.

She sighed in contentment and held onto him tightly so thankful to be back with him, and to be alive.

He reached a hand out to hold onto the side of her face; as his skin touched hers it sent a wave of feelings through them both, almost like a shock but not painful.

She gasped as he looked at her.

"What happened?" She asked him as he pulled his hand away from her face but kept it out in front of him.

"I don't know." He admitted, looking at his hand.

Slowly she raised her hand and brought it to his placing her hand against his the feeling was back, sudden and intense it left them both breathless.

"That's new." She said, smiling as she reached up and trailed her finger tips lightly down the side of his face.

His eyes widened as the feelings and sensations only intensified.

Holding her other hand up he looked at it before pressing his palm to hers, the same as their other hands that were still connected.

Her light green eyes met his blue eyes and in an instant they were completely absorbed in each other; a stronger and more intense connection than ever before, even stronger than when he was human.

It felt like every single fiber of them merged and entangled with each other, as if they were entirely connected; it was the most pure and beautiful experience they had ever had.

She swallowed hard and broke their eye contact as her eyes searched his face in bewilderment at what was happening.

"I still love you." She told him, her voice just a whisper as the strong waves were still flowing through her entire body.

It took him a moment to catch his breath, before he locked eyes with her again.

"I love you." He told her.

"I was worried you wouldn't…" She admitted, looking to their hands still touching, fingers to fingers and palms against palms.

"Why did you think I'd stop?" He questioned, his blue eyes staring at her intently.

"I was a little afraid that you only loved me because you were almost entirely human… when Bobby told me you got your powers back. I was so happy for you, but I was scared to find you. I thought maybe being a full angel again you wouldn't feel the same…" She explained her reasoning and fears, her voice growing a little hoarse as she remembered the fear she had felt.

Looking at both sets of their hands still touching and still keeping the sensation of their every cell merging with each other's, he slightly tilted his hands sideways letting his fingers fall in-between hers.

With their fingers laced together and the feeling stronger than ever he looked in her eyes again, "I will always love you." He assured her, his voice strong and sure as he spoke.

She nodded and smiled as she slowly pulled her hands away from his. The waves of sensations running through them slowed until they finally stopped.

"I have never felt anything like this in my entire existence." He informed her.

"You're not the only one…" She said her voice still soft.

Leaning forward he gently grabbed onto the sides of her face and claimed her mouth with his own.

Again, as their lips and tongues slowly moved together both of them slipped into the foreign euphoric feeling they had experienced when their hands were touching.

It took every bit of strength she had to pull back and separate her mouth from his.

Closing her eyes she took a few deep breaths, still feeling the after effects of the intense waves that had shot through her when they were touching.

When she opened her light green eyes she looked over the small apartment again, wondering where they were.

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><p><strong>AN- _Thanks for reading! ^_^ Yay... she's alive! Sorry i've been a little slow with updates for this story._**

_**If you haven't checked out my newest Supernatural fanfic 'Hanging From the Edge of Heaven', you should. ^_^**_

_**There are links to my photobucket and my polyvore account on my profile, I do sets to go along with some of the chapters for this and a few of my other stories.**_

**I'd really appreciate if you'd take a time to leave me a review, let me know you're still reading. Your support is what keeps me going on this site and getting updates posted as soon as possible. Your kind words truly are my inspiration, and I'm so thankful for all of you!**

**XO**


	29. Apartment in Heaven

**Part Twenty Nine.**

"_Love taught me to die with dignity so that I might come forth anew in splendor. Born once of flesh, then again of fire, I was reborn a third time to the sound of my name humming haikus in heaven's mouth." ~ Aberjhani, The River of Winged Dreams  
><em>

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><p>"Why are we in New York?" She asked him, her eyebrows pushed together in a slight confusion.<p>

He looked around the room and back to her, "We're not in New York." He told her.

"Look." She said, as she reached down taking his hand in hers. Both of their breathing halted for a few seconds as the euphoric feeling flooded through them again.

Leading him to the wall lined with large windows she pointed outside, "That's a perfect shot of the skyline… and the Brooklyn Bridge over the East River. We're in New York."

"We're in heaven." He explained when she finally gave him the chance to talk.

"Heaven?" She asked, looking around.

"I thought you said every soul generates their own heaven…" She said.

"They do." He agreed with a nod.

"So then… who's heaven is a little apartment in New York?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

His eyes scanned the exposed brick walls and all of the art lining the walls, every breath he took was filled with the scent of the wood fire still burning in the fire place. He paused for a moment listening to the song that was playing on repeat though the old crackling speakers of the record player.

"Yours." He admitted, watching her face intently.

Her eyes widened and she let go of his hand, taking a few steps back.

"Addison?" He asked, walking towards her.

"I... I'm dead?" She gasped.

"No… you are very much alive." He told her.

"So this is where I'm going to go when I die?" She asked looking around the apartment.

He frowned slightly.

"What? What's going on?" She asked, feeling an uneasiness rise in her stomach.

"You're alive… you're just not…" His voice trailed off.

"I'm not what?" She asked.

"Human anymore." He said.

She stared at him wide eyed, processing what he had told her and wondering if she had heard him correctly.

"Okay." She said nodding.

His blue eyes bore into hers as he watched her closely.

"Oh my god… what am I then?" She asked, a hint of panic in her voice as she rested her hands on her hips and tried to calm down.

"Nephilim." He told her.

"I am so beyond lost right now." She told him.

"You didn't die when you turned 21, but something else must have happened… you're not mortal anymore." He said, trying to put her mind at ease.

"How much longer do you think I have left?" She asked, avoiding his eyes as she looked out of the large windows, thinking how real it all looked.

"Left until what?" He asked not understanding her question.

"How long do I have left until I'm going to die now? Will it be at 22… 25?" She asked.

"You're not going to turn 25 or even 22." He said.

"So… what I've got like months? Days? Oh my god… I can't go through all of that again. I just… I can't do that again. I thought I'd really survived it all." She said, a few tears falling down her face as she feared the answer of how long she had left to live.

He didn't answer her and she finally managed to look up at him, her eyes still watery.

He glanced out of the window and then back at her a small smile spread over his lips.

Her eyes widened as she didn't understand how he could possibly be smiling at the newly learned news.

"Addison, you're not going to turn 22 because you are going to remain the way that you are." He said, still smiling.

"Wait… so I'm like… immortal? I'm not going to die?" She asked, the tears stopping immediately.

"Everything can be killed… I imagine an angel blade or the fire of holy oil, would have the same possible fatal effect on you that it would have on me. But unless that happens, you are going to remain as you are. You won't age, or easily be killed." He told her.

"I know it's a lot to take in…" He said when she remained silent.

"So I get to stay with you, be exactly as we are… until the end of time?" She questioned.

His blue eyes searched her face as he spoke, "Yes… unless either of us get killed."

She was silent again and he glanced around the room before saying, "I know it might be upsetting to hear that you're not human anymore." He thought to how he felt when he realized he wasn't an angel anymore, not being what he used to be was terrifying.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked, looking up at him.

"No." He replied honestly.

She smiled widely. "It's not upsetting at all."

He looked confused.

"I don't care if I'm human or Nephilim, I get to stay with you always and hopefully forever." She said, smiling brightly at him.

He returned the smile; he was thrilled at the same idea.

Looking around the apartment again, he said "After I was resurrected, I came back to heaven… and tried to find you. When I found your heaven I thought you'd be here, but you weren't. I looked at your grandmothers and everywhere on earth I thought you could have been, before searching hell. I had no idea what had happened to you."

She swallowed hard as she looked around the room too, "But if I didn't die why do I even have a heaven?"

"By all accounts, Addison… you were supposed to die. Your soul must have generated its own heaven in preparation for your death." He told her.

"Strange." She thought out loud as she looked around.

"Can I look around?" she asked thinking of how the entire space was the perfect mix of vintage and modern, perfect for her.

"It's yours." He said with a nod.

She walked over to a narrow hallway and opened a door looking into a small bathroom, and opened another door looking into a small closet.

At the end of the hallway there was a bigger door, it looked like it was made of distressed metal, it shined brightly in the lighting but had obvious signs of age.

She grabbed the handles in the middle of the doors and pushed them apart, her eyes widening at the large four post bed with dark purple and black silk bedding.

Walking into the room she looked around, there was a small antique vanity with some old fashioned bottles of perfume on its worn surface.

There was more floor to ceiling windows, revealing a view just as breath taking as the one from her living room.

Her eyes traveled to the tall book cases lining a wall, their wood shelves practically overflowing with books.

Castiel looked around the room as he walked in, he headed for the desk.

Following him she saw he was looking at 2 paintings hung on the wall above the desk. She smiled at seeing which paintings he was looking at.

"You painted these… correct?" He asked, looking over at her.

"Yeah." She admitted.

Pointing to the painting that was a perfect portrait of Castiel's vessel she looked up at him, "I painted that one right after the first dream that you came to me in."

Before he had showed up in person, he had been trying to talk to her through her dreams.

"I couldn't get you of my head… even though at the time I thought you were just some random person who ended up in my dreams. That's why I was so scared when you showed up in the laundry room at my apartment building." She reminded him.

Looking over at her, he asked "What's the other one supposed to be?"

"You." She admitted.

He looked back at it, trying to see what she was talking about.

The painting was a large canvas with a bright white in the direct center that blurred out and took on a slightly bluish tint as the bright color continued to fan out and cover the entire surface.

"It's you… not your vessel. Angels are like giant white-hot, bright masses of power. I painted it at the lake house, only about a week before the demons found us." She told him, glancing up at him out of the corner of her eye.

He nodded as he leaned over the desk and looked closely at it. She was right, his true visage was exactly as she had painted it.

"I love you… not just this vessel." She said as she held onto the open sides of his tan trench coat.

"Of course… I love this body to…" She said, her voice trailing off as she ran her hand down the center of his chest and stomach.

"But it's deeper than that…" She said, looking back to the paintings.

Her heart skipped a few beats as his hands slid around her waist, and she turned her head back to face him.

"I love you too." He told her as he leaned down and kissed her.

She smiled against his mouth and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her body tightly against his as she couldn't believe how incredible it felt to be with him.

The intense, pure waves shook through them both, putting them in an unimaginable state of bliss as their tongues tangled.

Pulling back she took a deep breath and said, "Why does that keep happening?"

"I don't know." He told her.

She kissed him again before heading back down the hallway and into her living room, appreciating the scent of the fire and smiling as the same song 'Have You Ever Seen the Rain' continued to play softly from the record player speakers.

Off the side of her living room, she noticed a spiral staircase. Once she climbed the stairs she looked around; she was in an art gallery with her paintings as the main focus.

She smiled when she saw fresh, untouched canvases and her favorite paints and brushes, she hadn't painted anything in close to a year.

Descending the stairs she paused when she saw Cas standing by the window looking out over the beautiful illuminated sky line.

Smiling to herself she crossed the room getting between him and the glass as she kissed him again.

Pulling back she turned around and looked out of the windows.

"It just looks so real." She stated shaking her head in disbelief.

"Technically, it is real." He told her.

She nodded and looked at their reflections in the glass window.

"All of my life I dreamed that I'd manage to save up enough money to make the move to New York, and I was sure after I got there my art would get me noticed." She admitted.

Stepping closer, until his body was pressed against her back, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her against him.

"It was my biggest dream… and even if I didn't manage to make it big as an artist I just wanted to live close to the heart of the city. Indiana is a nice place… but I always wanted bigger and better." She admitted.

He was silent as he listened to her words and enjoyed the feeling of having her back in his arms.

"I started working part time when I was 15… worked all through high school, and saved every single penny I could… trying to save up enough money to move to New York." She told him.

"You put money back for close to 5 years and didn't get enough to go?" He asked.

She smiled as she looked down to the hard wood floor under their shoes.

"I did save enough." She told him, crossing her arms over his in front of her, as she rested her hands on his.

"But you were still in Indiana when I was given orders to watch over you." He pointed out.

"I was less than 4 weeks away from moving when you showed up… I had put my deposit down on this tiny studio apartment and had a job lined up with a New York branch of the store I worked for… I had my plane ticket and everything." She told him, as she ran her fingertips over the skin on the back of his hands.

He thought about what she was telling him.

"When you didn't have to be in hiding anymore, how come you didn't go?" He asked.

She shrugged, and relaxed her body back against his as his arms tightened gently around her.

"It was your dream but you didn't even go when you thought you were going to die…" He thought out loud.

"I thought about it… I mean I could port myself around and I thought about spending a night just walking around and enjoying the city." She told him.

"Why didn't you?" He asked.

"Dreams change." She said, her voice soft.

He thought back to a conversation they had –had shortly before her expected day of death.

"You told me you didn't want to go anywhere before you died…" He reminded her.

"Like I said, dreams change…" She said as she looked at his reflection in the window.

"All of this is what you'd consider to be paradise, your dreams didn't change." He pointed out.

"I still wanted to go to the city… but I meant what I said, I was spending my last few days exactly where I wanted to. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing." She told him.

She saw the slight look of confusion with a twinge of sadness in his blue eyes, as she wasn't even watching the skyline scenery any longer she was only watching his reflection.

"All I wanted was you." She said, snuggling her back against him.

He breathed in as she adjusted in his arms, the familiar smell of her shampoo filled his nose and he smiled.

They stood like that for a while just enjoying each other's company and relishing in the realization that they still had each other.

Finally she let out a small laugh.

"What?" He asked her.

"I think my record player is broken." She said, looking over to where it sat in the corner.

"It's been playing the whole time." He said.

"Yeah… but it just keeps playing the same song." She said, smiling before shrugging and saying, "Oh well, I could listen to this all the time… it's my favorite song."

She closed her eyes and lightly rocked in his arms, thinking the moment was perfect.

As she slowly opened her eye lids she saw his reflection as he started to bow his head to her neck.

Her body twitched as her excitement and connection to him was intensified by the new waves of bliss that shot through them every time they touched.

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><p><strong>AN-Thank you all very much for reading! I hope you are still liking this story.**

**I really love writing this one! ^_^**

_**Please, take a moment or two and leave me a review. I appreciate the feedback so much, and I always love hearing from all of you. It means the world to me. ^_^**_


	30. Some Prayers Never Know

**Part Thirty.**

_"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you." ~ Bob Marley  
><em>

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><p><em><em><em><strong>~(AN- Disclaimer: This is another chapter is really where the 'M' rating of this story comes into play. There is a detailed scene with sexual acts…)~**___

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><p>"Addison?" Castiel questioned as he walked into the bedroom of the apartment in her heaven.<p>

She was looking out the large windows, her hands pushed against the glass as she continued to stare at the city of New York.

"Addison." Castiel said, as he walked up to her.

She shook her head and looked at him.

"Sorry… I just can't get over this place." She said, looking up at him.

He looked around the room, "I have to admit, I was a little surprised when I got here and saw what your heaven looked like."

"Why is that?" She asked him, her eyes drifting back out the window.

After a small pause he said, "Most heavens are filled with past memories... memories that the soul wishes to live over and over."

She smiled down to herself.

"Well, there really isn't anything in my life that's happened I'd like to live over and over." She told him

"Except for being with you of course." She said, smiling softly as she turned her head and looked to where he stood beside her.

"What do you remember from when you left to die?" He asked her.

She took a deep breath and shook her head back and forth, the more she thought about what had happened, the more bits and pieces had started to come back.

"What?" He asked seeing her change in mood.

"It's not really easy to talk about." She said, as a tear slid down her face and she looked away from him back out the window.

Scooting closer and moving behind her, he pulled her against him the way he had earlier in the living room.

"When I first woke up, I didn't remember anything. But the more time that passed the more I wondered what had happened… then pieces started to come back." She said, her eyes looking at their reflections in the glass.

"What do you remember?" He questioned again, his voice soft as he leaned down and his face was only inches away from her ear.

"I was leaned up against this tree… accepting that I was going to die, and I wished that it would come quick and painlessly. Then I heard this loud noise; it felt like my eardrums had shattered and this pressure started in my head. It was the most intense pain I have ever felt… and I know pain. I was tortured in hell…" She breathed out.

His arms tightened around her when he felt her body tremble slightly at the memories.

"But this pain was so much worse… and it only got stronger when I started seeing random parts of my life. Good memories of being younger and going on vacations with my parents and the first time I drew something, when I realized how much I loved to paint. They were my happy memories, but it didn't dull the pain any." She said, her breathing growing a little uneven as she recalled how she didn't think the pain was ever going to stop.

She looked up at him in the glass reflection; he was still holding her tight against him, his head lowered slightly as he listened intently to what she was saying.

"Then bad memories started to mix in with the good ones. The car wreck I got into 5 weeks after getting my driver's license, my parents being killed, Zachariah killing me and getting hurled into hell. Then I saw everything that I went through in hell, the torture and the sickening dry heat… the rivers of blood and boiling hot water that cascaded over tall cliffs. I could smell all of the sulfur and the pain got even worse in my head, it felt like my head was literally going to just explode." She continued her explanation.

Taking a deep breath she went on, "And then other parts of my life, seemingly insignificant parts started to play through my mind also. I would have given anything to make the pain stop, I was in complete agony... Then there was this bright light that started to white out all of my memories, and the closer I moved to the white light the pain dulled. I was almost completely absorbed in the light, the pain was almost gone and I wanted so badly to completely to go into the light; never have to feel any sort of pain again. But I stopped right before I got to it."

He was silent, "Why?" He finally asked.

"I thought about you." She said, letting out the deep breath she was holding.

"I thought about the time we spent together at my family's lake house, the first time we kissed, when you told me you loved me." She paused before continuing, "Then I remembered the first time we made love, and how being with you is the most amazing thing I've ever felt. At that moment, I realized I wanted to see you more than I wanted to go through the light."

He didn't know what to say as he continued to listen to her.

"So, I pulled back from the light and immediately the pain was back stronger than ever. I didn't think it had been possible for the pain to get any worse, but it did. And I wanted so badly to get into the light just to make the pain stop, but the closer I moved to the light the farther I felt away from you… I felt like once I was completely covered in that light that I'd never get to see you again." She said, her body slightly trembling again.

"I looked at the light one more time and made the decision that if I had to deal with the pain to keep you, I'd do it. So I turned and I ran as fast as I could away from the light, and the pain was crippling, I felt like I had been dropped into a pool of quick sand or something. I couldn't move anymore, and there wasn't any air to breath. I felt like I had been in that excruciating pain for years, and then I woke up in the woods." She told him, running her thumbs lightly over the backs of his hands as he still held onto her.

"And you're much more powerful than you were before." He said.

"I think so… I mean I haven't really attempted to use a lot of my powers, other than ported 2 times, but I don't feel the least bit drained." She admitted.

'Have You Ever Seen the Rain' still played from the living room record player and with the doors open to the bedroom she could hear the song clearly from where they were.

"Cas…" She said, her voice trailed off, as she looked up at their reflection in the window.

"Addison?" He replied.

She smiled to herself.

"So all of this… is my heaven, so it's mine, right?" She asked.

"Yes… it's yours." He said.

"Since it's mine… I can do anything I want here, right?" She asked.

"Yes." He replied.

"Anything at all?" She questioned looking down to the hard wood floor, waiting on his answer.

"It's yours." He repeated.

Turning in his arms she smiled and breathed out, "Good."

Before he could respond she firmly pressed her body against his, and leaned up as she pressed a hungry kiss to his lips.

Immediately his fingers held onto her sides tightly as they were still relishing in the new consuming euphoric feeling that still amazed them both whenever they touched.

She felt his hands start to creep under the fabric of her shirt, and she moaned softly against his lips as the feeling only grew stronger.

As their clothed bodies continued to move together her breathing grew even more labored as he broke their kiss to pull her shirt off over her head.

Her eyes met his before he pulled her back against him reigniting the desire and the feelings that pulsated through them both.

Soon his upper body was bare and her bra landed on top of the growing pile of clothes on the wood floor by the large 4-post bed.

His hands went to the sensitive skin on her chest and she trailed her fingers down his arms and then around his back, humming into their kiss as her fingers continued to trace his familiar bare upper body.

His breathing was hastened as every time her fingers brushed against his skin, the euphoric feeling shocked him to his core. He didn't know what was making their bodies react like that when they touched, but it hadn't happened before.

His mind drifted for a moment wondering if it had something to do with her not being human anymore, or the fact that he was now back at full power.

Addison shook him from his thoughts as she unfastened his belt and pulled it from the loops on his pants, letting it fall to the floor with a loud metal clank when the buckle hit the wood.

With his lips and tongue now focused on her neck she gasped and leaned her head back as the feelings only intensified the longer their flesh was touching.

"I… am so happy that we haven't changed…" She managed to raggedly breathed out, her words choppy as she fought for her breath.

He slowly moved his mouth from her neck, "We have changed." He reminded her.

"I mean… I'm happy that you still want this." She said, as she ran her fingers down his chest, causing his body to tense.

He glanced down at her half nude body and said, "I can't get enough of you."

Her smile widened and she pressed her body against his, kissing across his chest and then up to his neck.

He ran his fingers down her back and gently grabbed onto her butt through her jeans pulling her lower body against his; letting out a low groan as he only grew harder from the pressure of her against his pants.

Feeling the firm bulge contained in his pants pushing against her leg, she lovingly ran her hands through his hair and pulled his face closer too hers.

Arching against his body she breathed heavily at wondering how the new feelings would increase when their bodies were completely merged.

She ran her hands down his body making his muscles jerk when she trailed one hand farther south and rubbing his swollen manhood through his pants, as she kissed and lightly grazed her teeth over the skin on his neck.

She smiled against his neck as his hands quickly grasped onto her hips, squeezing tightly as his growing arousal made his pants feel even more confining. She was happy his body was still responsive to her touch.

"I was honestly worried that things would change with us… that since you're not human anymore that you wouldn't still want to do this." She breathed out raggedly against his neck as she continued to rub her hand over his pants.

He looked down at her, his breath harsh and uneven through his open lips.

Her eyes locked on his as he stared at her for a few more seconds before lowering his head claiming her mouth, as he slid his tongue between her lips and curled it with hers.

Pulling back from their kiss, she lightly bit down on his bottom lip and pulled back before releasing her hold on him, and smashing her mouth hungrily back against his.

Rubbing his hands up her sides his breath was more unsteady as he was still amazed how soft her skin felt to him. He thought with as many times as he had touched her that he'd be used to the way she felt under his fingers, but it still caught him off guard every time her bare flesh was against his.

Pulling back from the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers barely able to breathe as he looked into her eyes. "I don't think there is any going back to not wanting this…"

She smiled as she pulled his face back down to hers, but he pulled back and his blue eyes searched her flushed face as he spoke, "I crave you."

Her chest rose and fell heavily as she looked at him and nodded in agreement, she knew exactly what he meant.

Catching her a little of guard, he gently pushed her back on the bed immediately joining her with his body over hers.

She wrapped her arms around him as their mouths were joined again, and his hands rubbed over her body.

Breaking their kiss she reached down between them quickly unzipping his pants and trying to push them down, with every passing moment her body continued to ache for him.

He raised up, removing his own pants and boxers, leaving them on the foot of the bed as he looked back at her.

She swallowed hard and quickly started to unbutton her jeans, desperately wanting their bodies joined, to be connected with him in the most intimate way.

After they were unfastened she raised her hips up from the bed, and tugged the form fitting material from her hips.

He grabbed the material and pulled them the rest of the way off her body, his eyes stopping briefly on her underwear as his breath caught in this throat.

She started to grab the waist band of them, but he laid his hands over hers and she looked at him as he left a trail of hot, wet kisses across her stomach before sliding the soft fabric down her legs leaving them both completely nude.

They're breathing more labored as they stared at each other, it was as if they were seeing each other in a new light, more intense than ever before.

He moved back over her, kissing her passionately as he positioned himself at her opening and he gently, but steadily drove his manhood into her.

The intense, unimaginable feelings of bliss they got now every time they touched radiated an intense heat from both of them as his body fully invaded hers.

Her eyes clenched shut and her body arched up from the mattress at how sudden the feeling of euphoria returned with their flesh touching in the most private way.

At the same time her body jumped up from the mattress he crumpled over on top of her, his entire being taken over by intense pleasure when they were fully joined.

She gasped, clutched the sheet with one hand, as her fingers of her other hand dug into his upper arm, not able to breath as neither one of them could move.

Finally managing to take a deep breath he swallowed hard, still unsure of what kept causing the waves of bliss.

Raising his head he looked at her as her light green eyes started to open and widen as she looked at him questioningly, she was wondering the same thing he was.

Letting go of the sheet she reached up and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him hungrily and trying to lift her hips from the mattress to rock against him.

He let his tongue dance with hers before pulling back and looking into her eyes, he loving brushed her hair from her face and stared at her.

Slowly he moved his hips back from hers, almost entirely separating their bodies.

Her eyebrows pushed together with unhappiness as he started to pull himself from her, but her eyes clenched shut again and she gasped loudly as he pushed back inside of her quicker than before.

The feeling again consumed their entire beings, leaving both of them utterly speechless as they looked into each other's eyes.

Leaning his head back down, he kissed her passionately as he pulled back and buried himself inside of her again and again.

She couldn't say anything, she was hardly able to breathe as she desperately clutched onto him, and he picked up speed and intensity with his movements.

Rocking her body with his, she readily accepted his every thrust. His mouth hung open, lips against her neck as he grunted against her soft skin.

He wrapped his arms around her as she repeatedly arched up from the mattress her breathing in a frenzy as she wrapped her legs around him.

With each buck of his hips he entered her a bit faster than before. His thrusts weren't rough, but continued to increase in power and speed as he continued to clutch her body against his affectionately.

Their sweat peppered bodies moved together, rocking in unconscious time both of them franticly holding onto each other lost in an unspeakable state of ecstasy.

It was well over an hour later when she pulled his face to hers, running her tongue over his lips, before tangling it with his tongue as she broke their rhythm and started to shift restlessly under his body.

Breaking their kiss she dug her fingertips and short nails into the hot sweat glistened flesh of his lean strong back.

He pushed his forehead against hers watching the expression on her face as she started to shudder and wasn't able to lie still beneath him.

Addison's breath emerged in short fits and gasps; she dug her fingers even deeper into the skin of his back as she started to slide into an even deeper state of pure bliss.

Her eyes fluttered open and locked with his for a few brief seconds before the pulsating waves shot through her and her entire body shook violently against his, every muscle clenching and spasming; leaving her body shuddering helplessly in his arms as she came, her hands still desperately trying to clutch onto him as she couldn't control her body.

Finally she was able to take a small breath, gasping loudly as she felt like she still couldn't breathe from the intenseness of the moment. As she was barely starting to come down from her high when his breath pored heavily over her face and he raised his head from hers.

His arms tightened around her and his open mouth landed against her shoulder as his movement became erratic and he pushed even harder inside of her, overtaken by the explosion of bliss within him.

She still fought for her breath and held him tightly as the skin on her shoulder tingled from his breath when he let out a loud, harsh masculine groan, pushing himself deep inside her with a few more powerful thrusts as he released himself, causing her eyes to slightly roll back.

Slowly he caught his breath, and pressed a kiss to her skin where his mouth had been before raising up and staring into her eyes. They both were a little dizzy and disoriented still fighting for air as they were still coming down from their highs.

Her light green eyes bore into his as he remained above her, his face only inches away from hers.

She looked around the room, as he continued to stare at her.

"I… I'm pretty sure that lasted for way more than an hour." She said, smiling at him. Still amazed at how intense everything felt to her now.

His eyes searched her face and his eyebrows slowly pushed together as he moved off of her.

Confused by the look on his face, she pulled a royal purple sheet over them and scooted up against his side.

His body tensed slightly when she touched him and he moved away a bit, as his blue eyes stared up at the ceiling.

She raised her head and looked at him; he had never scooted away from her before.

"What's wrong?" She asked her eyes wide.

He didn't answer.

She sat up holding the sheet over her chest and looked around the room, not able to stop the steady feeling of fear seeping into her mind.

"What's wrong, Cas?" She asked again looking to where he still lay flat on his back, his pale flesh almost glowing against the bold purple and black bedding.

"Why won't you talk to me?" She asked her voice barely over a whisper as she felt some tears stinging her light green eyes.

She watched him as he closed his eyes and shook his head back forth, his jaw tensed as he swallowed hard.

"I'm sorry, Addison." He said, his eyes opening again but he didn't look at her.

"You're sorry for what?" She asked.

He grew silent again.

"Did… I do something?" She asked her tone sad as she didn't understand why he was acting so distant.

"I tried to not get carried away…" He said.

She looked at him even more confused.

"Get carried away?" She questioned.

"Yes… everything I felt was just so intense…" He explained, still not looking over to her.

"Yeah… it was… amazing." She said with a nod, still not understanding what he was upset about.

He looked over at her.

"I didn't hurt you?" He asked, his blue eyes locked with her.

She shook her head back and forth.

"You're sure… I didn't hurt you?" He asked.

She raised an eyebrow and looked around the room.

"I think I'd know if you hurt me… I'm fine; a little worried about you though." She admitted.

He let out a breath and a look of relief spread over his face.

"Why do you think you hurt me?" She asked, still not entirely sure what was going through his head.

"I feel like I got too… rough with you. I'm back at full power, full strength and I was trying so hard to be gentle with you." He explained watching her face closely as he spoke.

Lying back on the bed, she rose up on an elbow and faced him relieved that there wasn't anything really wrong.

She smiled softly at him as he rose up on an elbow and turned towards her.

"You said yourself; I'm not human anymore… I'm not exactly fragile." She pointed out.

Leaning in she pressed a kiss to his lips, but pulling back and saying "I promise you didn't hurt me."

He nodded, still relieved.

"It's hard to think of you as not being fragile." He told her, his blue eyes locking with hers.

"Well, you were put in charge of protecting my fragile mostly human self almost 2 years ago… so I guess it makes sense you'd still see me as breakable." She sympathized with his statement.

"I'm glad I didn't hurt you." He responded.

She smiled and shook her head at him.

Scooting over she kissed him again, lying down next to him as he wrapped his arms around her like normal.

"I love you." She told him, as she closed her eyes.

"I love you." He responded as he watched her.

It was almost 20 minutes later when she sighed and said, "You're an angel again so you don't sleep do you?"

"No, I don't need sleep anymore." He told her.

Opening her eyes she looked down at his still bare stomach and chest, she had her head rested on his shoulder.

"I don't need sleep anymore either, do I?" She asked, thinking how strange it was she wasn't the least bit sleepy.

"I don't think so… even if you do it won't be but a few hours a week." He told her.

She laughed.

"If we don't sleep anymore… why didn't you bring this up 20 minutes ago when I snuggled up to you to go to sleep?" She questioned, keeping her head on his shoulder as she rested an arm over his stomach.

He glanced down at her, catching another whiff of her hair and smiling at the familiar scent.

"I like this." He told her.

She laughed and a wide smile spread across her lips as she danced her finger tips up his stomach and over his chest.

"I do too…" She said, still smiling.

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><p><strong>AN- Did you all hear the good news? Supernatural got renewed for a 9th season! ^_^**

**Thank you for reading, I really hope you all liked the chapter. I know the last few have been really sweet and fluffly, but things will be picking up soon. ^_^**

**I'd really love it if you'd take the time to leave me a review and let me know you're still reading this story. It's still one of my favorites to write, and I'm working really hard to update regularly. Your support is what keeps me writing and posting these updates, so please take a few moments to let me know you're still reading. ^_^**


	31. Archangel Business

**Part Thirty One.**

"_I didn't pay attention to times or distance, instead focusing on how it felt just to be in motion, knowing it wasn't about the finish line but how I got there that mattered." _

― _Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever _

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><p>The next day Addison finished drying her hair and laid the hair dryer down on the light green porcelain sink in the bathroom of her apartment in heaven.<p>

She pulled a thin black long sleeve jacket on over her dark orange spaghetti strap shirt and looked down to her faded jean shorts and bare feet. The bathroom still smelled of her body wash from the shower she had just taken.

A smile spread across her lips as she thought of the prior day, she had survived a certain death, beat the odds again and now was stronger than ever. Castiel had his angel powers back and the best thing of all; their love was as absolute and as strong as ever.

She swiped on a thin coat of her favorite lip balm and headed back down the hallway to her bedroom.

She sat back down on the dark purple and black silk bedding on the large 4-post bed and looked out of the window, still staring at the New York City view.

Looking to the side, she saw Castiel leaned up against the wall watching her with a peaceful and content look on his face.

"Good morning." She said smiling widely at him as her gums still slightly tingled from the toothpaste and mouthwash she had just used.

He leaned away from the wall and gave her a confused look.

"Cas?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"You can see me?" He asked her.

Her eyes widened, "Umm… yeah, why wouldn't I be able to see you?"

"I was concealing myself." He admitted.

"What?" She asked.

"I can conceal myself… be invisible." He clarified.

"Well… maybe you need to practice it more, because I can see you perfectly fine." She said.

He looked deep in thought for a moment.

"No, that's not it. My abilities are stronger than ever, it must be you." He told her.

She stifled a laugh, "Oh so it's not you, it's me huh?"

"Yes, there isn't anything wrong with my abilities." He responded.

She looked down the hard wood floor and shook her head, it had been going on 2 years and he still didn't understand certain terminology.

"It was a joke." She explained.

He thought about it for a moment before admitting, "I don't see the humor in it."

She sighed still smiling at him.

"So now that I'm stronger I can see you when you when your invisible?" She asked.

"No, you can only see me when I'm concealed if… you have the same ability." He told her.

"How do I know?" She asked him.

He explained to her how she'd go about making herself invisible.

She followed his directions.

"Did it work?" She asked.

"I can still see you." He told her.

Frowning she walked down the hallway and into the bathroom, staring at the mirror in surprise as she didn't have a reflection. Wishing to be seen again, she gasped as she was now visible in the mirror.

She walked back in the bedroom.

"I can make myself invisible." She said with a nod.

Her eyes drifted past him to the window.

"Do you think it's going be night all the time?" She questioned, it was still dark outside.

He nodded, "That must have been what you wanted."

"Well, I do like nighttime better…" She agreed.

Looking at him her eyes widened, "Why were you trying to keep yourself invisible from me?"

"I was just checking on you… I like to watch you." He admitted.

"Well… radical honesty is better than lying I suppose." She said, laughing to herself as she thought back to the day she had taken him into the McDonald's and he informed the cashier that he was cut off from heaven and was now human.

She looked at him as she bit the inside of her cheek, "How often do you do that… spy on me?"

"I wasn't spying on you." He corrected.

"Fine, how often do you stay invisible and check up on me?" She asked.

"Frequently." He said.

"Why?" She asked, feeling a bit awkward.

"To make sure you're okay and not in danger, and because I like to watch you." He restated.

"That… kind of makes me a little uncomfortable." She admitted to him, with a slight frown on her face.

"How long have you been doing this?" She pried.

He was silent.

"Cas?" She asked.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He stated.

"How long?" She asked.

His blue eyes met with hers, "Almost 3 years."

She gasped as her jaw dropped, "3 years? That's over a year longer than I've known you!"

"I had orders to keep an eye on you because we weren't entirely sure if you had the Nephilim gene, but you weren't supposed to know anything about it until the day I was given orders to keep you safe." He told her.

"You've been spying on me since I was 18… and you're just now telling me this?" She asked, shocked at him.

He nodded.

"What did you watch me do?" She asked him, her arms now crossed over her chest.

"I wasn't there all the time… I checked on you a few times a month." He explained.

"I don't believe this." She said.

"Are you angry?" He asked her, watching her face closely.

She was silent for a moment, "I guess not… I'm just shocked."

His mouth angled down in a frown slightly as he spoke, "Is this one of those times when you tell me you're not mad, but you truly are?"

The side of her mouth started to twitch into a smile at his question and the sincere look on his face.

"I'm not mad… those were the orders you were given, before you knew me." She paused then said, "And I guess it's kind of sweet that you continued to do it because you like to watch me… still a little uncomfortable though."

"I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable." He told her.

She nodded, and frowned at the upset look on his face.

"Hey… it's okay, really." She said as she walked up him.

His eyes met with hers and she could see he still seemed a little upset.

Leaning up she pressed her lips to his, both of them breathless with the strong euphoric feeling that was still there when they touched.

She pulled back and smiled at him, slowly his lips curved up in a small smile.

Kissing him again she walked over and looked back out of the window.

"I'd like to remove the Enochian from your ribs… you don't have angels looking for you anymore, and without removing it I can't find you." He told her.

Glancing over at him she said, "Is it going to hurt as bad as when you carved it into my ribs?"

"It will probably be more painful." He explained to her.

Groaning she turned and faced him.

"Okay…" She agreed.

He watched her as he placed a hand on the side and burnt the sigils from her ribs.

She doubled over in pain and wrapped her arms around herself, her breathing labored from the intensity.

**~(The next day)~  
><strong>

"Grandma!" Addison exclaimed as she appeared in the kitchen in her grandmother's house.

Rose turned around from the sink, startled.

"Addy!" She said, giving her granddaughter a warm smile as she sat her empty breakfast plate in the sink, and crossed the kitchen to give her granddaughter a tight hug.

"How are you?" Addison asked as they moved into the living room.

Taking a seat on the couch and turning to face her, Rose said "I'm doing really good, I was worried about you though. I hadn't heard anything from you in weeks…"

Addison thought to herself about how she had been spending all her time with Castiel before she thought she was going to die, and every minute she could after she was back to life.

"I've been busy…" Addison answered vaguely.

"Oh, doing what?" Rose questioned.

Addison stifled a laugh, "Just some Nephilim and Angel stuff, it's not really important."

"I've been watching the news, honey, all the storms stopped… is it safe to assume the apocalypse is over?" Rose asked her.

"Yeah, Lucifer is back in his cage where he belongs." Addison said her voice trailing off as she thought about Sam.

"You don't seem so happy." Rose pointed out.

"The way we won wasn't really ideal… I had this friend, Sam. And it turns out he was the devil's vessel. Sam saved the world, but at the cost of his own life… he let the devil possess him and then he somehow managed to take control of his body and he… jumped." Addison said, feeling a few tears sting her eyes.

"Jumped?" Rose questioned.

"Jumped into the cage, so Lucifer would get sealed back up." Addison clarified.

"Which in turn locked him in the cage?" Rose asked.

Addison nodded, and looking back down at the space on the couch cushion between them.

"I'm sorry." Rose said, frowning at seeing her granddaughter's pain.

Addison nodded and took a deep breath before looking back up to her grandmother.

"I just wanted to pop in and see how you're doing, and let you know I'm oaky." Addison said.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked.

She nodded in response.

"And… Castiel?" She asked.

Addison's face lit up, "He's good to."

"So things are still good between the two of you?" She asked her.

"Things are… amazing. He's back to being at full power again, not cut off from heaven and at first I was afraid that he would stop loving me… but things are just… amazing." She repeated, smiling as she spoke about him.

"Look at that smile, I'm happy for you." Rose said as she looked at her.

"I'm just kind of in awe over everything, like I didn't even date in high school really because I never liked anyone. And after high school while my old friends were getting married and having kids, the last thing on my mind was trying to find a guy. I never really thought there was anyone out there that would be right for me… but then I met Cas." She said.

Rose sat in silence as she watched her for a few more minutes.

"Are you going to be staying for a while?" Rose asked her.

"No, I'm actually going to stay for a little while at the lake house I think." Addison said.

She talked to her grandmother for a few more hours before she left and ported herself to her family's cabin on the lake that Cas had first taken her to when he had saved her from the demons.

**~(The next day…)~**

Addison was sitting on the couch in the lake house with a box of family photo albums on the coffee table in front of her.

She found an album from when she was 8 and they had taken her to Disney World, her eyes stung with tears as she looked through the pictures.

"Addison." A voice said.

Dropping the album to the floor she looked up to see 2 men standing in the room with her.

"Who are you?" She asked, not liking the feelings she was getting from them.

"It's not important." One of them said.

Before she had a chance to respond or do anything one of the men raised his hand and a blinding bright light shot out form his palm. Addison crumpled to the ground in pain before everything went black.

When she came to, she groggily looked around the room; it looked like an office of some sort.

Weakly she got to her feet; she felt extremely drained as she stumbled towards a door.

"Where do you think you're going?" A man asked her.

She turned around and looked at him.

"Who are you?" She asked, rubbing her head.

"Raphael." He responded.

"The archangel?" She asked.

He nodded.

"What do you want from me?" She asked him.

"Let's start with how you're still alive?" He asked.

"I don't know." She said, as she tried to use all of her powers to port out but it was useless.

"You're powers won't work here." He informed her.

"Look, I don't know how I'm alive… I thought I was going to die when I turned 21 but I woke up in the same place I went to die." She said, not releasing any extra details.

"How is it that you are the only Nephilim in history that managed to survive their fate?" He asked her.

"I know as much about this as you… so why don't you just spit it out and tell me the real reason you brought me here." She said.

He looked at her, his gaze heavy with hate as she collapsed on the floor, writhing in pain as she coughed violently and blood spewed from her mouth.

Finally it stopped but she was even weaker than before.

She gasped for air and held onto her throat.

"You're help. I want your help, Addison." He said.

Slowly and weakly rising to her feet she said, "With what?"

"Freeing Michael and Lucifer from the cage." He informed her.

Her eyes widened.

"What? We just stopped the apocalypse from happening." She gasped.

"The alternative is death." He told her.

"I won't help you." She said, through gritted teeth.

"You will, or you and Castiel and anyone who stands with you will die." He said.

Her heart raced at Castiel's name.

"Where's Cas?" She asked, worried.

"On his way here…" Raphael said.

"What are you going to do to him?" She asked, her eyes narrowed in hate.

"Give him the same offer I've given you. Tomorrow you will bow before me and pledge your allegiance." He said.

"Don't hurt him." She said, her eyes dark and words razor edged.

Raphael looked at her, and squinted his eyes before a look of confusion spread over his face and he disappeared from the room.

A little while later the same two angels that took her from the lake house appeared in the room and grabbed her.

Addison looked around and she saw Cas sitting a chair opposite of Raphael.

"The apocalypse doesn't have to be fought." Castiel told him.

Addison watched them intently as they two angels kept a tight hold on her.

"Of course it does. It's gods will." Raphael said.

"How can you say that?" Castiel asked him, angered by his words.

"Because it's what I want." Raphael responded.

"I won't let you." Castiel said his voice gruff.

"Really?" Raphael questioned, his head cocked to the side.

Castiel nodded.

"I had planned on severely injuring you if you didn't go along with me." Raphael said.

"But… I'm not going to do that." Raphael said.

Addison breathed a small sigh of relief.

"You're not?" Castiel asked him confused.

"Why would I? I have another way to hurt you twice as much." He said motioning a hand to where the two angels were holding Addison.

Both of their grips tightened on her, and the angel on the left slowly started to puncture Addison's side with an angel blade.

She gasped in pain as he pushed the blade farther into her side, her skin reacted to being broken by the blade. It made a sizzling sound and it felt like her entire side was on fire.

Castiel looked at her his eyes wide.

"Stop!" He yelled, looking over at Raphael.

Addison tried not to scream out in pain as the angel pushed the blade even deeper into her side.

Castiel started towards them.

"One more step and we'll put the blade through her heart." Raphael said, his tone calm and authoritative.

Castiel halted his movement and looked at Addison; she swallowed hard and tried to act like the pain wasn't that bad. But the angel twisted the blade in her side and she yelled out.

"Raphael, let her go." Castiel spoke to the archangel, but he kept his eyes on Addison.

"Really inconvenient time to find your mate, Castiel." Raphael said.

Castiel looked over at him.

"You're entire being has fused with her… you merged on all levels. The absolute worst thing I could do to you would be to kill her in front of your eyes." The archangel said, as he stood from his chair.

"This has nothing to do with her, let her go." Castiel said.

"Tomorrow I've called for an assembly of the Holy Host. You will both kneel before me and pledge your allegiance to me." Raphael explained.

"No." Addison growled through gritted teeth as they were still holding the blade in her side.

"Then he will watch you die… before he and everyone else who stood with him meet the same fate." Raphael said as he walked up to her.

Addison saw the look of terror on Castiel's face.

Raphael held his hand up pointing his palm at Addison, again the same bright light showed and she was in excruciating pain.

The angels pulled the blade from her side and she collapsed on the floor, coughing and spitting up blood.

Finally it stopped and she was barely conscious.

"See you both tomorrow." Raphael said as he and the other angels disappeared from the room.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Thank you for reading. I really hope you all liked the chapter. ^_^**

**I would really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know that you're still reading. **

**I truly love writing this story, but I focus my attention on my more popular stories that I know readers have interest in... and I'm starting to feel like there isn't really an interest in this story anymore.**

** So, if you're still reading and enjoying the story please don't be a silent reader. I appreciate each and every review so much and you guys are my inspiration to keep writing and sharing my work on this site.**


	32. More Important Than Ever Before

**Part Thirty Two.**

"_Death is a challenge.  
>It tells us not to waste time...it tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.<em>_"_

_~ Leo Buscaglia_

* * *

><p>Once the other angels were gone, Castiel swooped Addison up and ported them to her heaven.<p>

He gently sat her down on the couch and stared at her intently.

Making a pained nose she managed to sit up some and keep firm pressure on the wound from the angel blade.

"Addison…" Castiel's voice trailed off, he didn't know what to say to her.

"It's not your fault, Cas." She reassured him.

She forced herself to keep her eyes open and fight the tiredness that had taken over her whole body.

"I need a shirt… or a towel… something to hold against this." She told him.

Once he was out of the room, she lifted her blood soaked shirt and saw the wound. It looked like it was starting to heal, but from the center of the open stab wound there was a bright red-orange light that emitted.

"Oh crap…" She breathed out.

"What?" Castiel asked as he walked back in the room with one of her dark green towels.

She quickly pulled her shirt down.

"Nothing… it's not that bad. Just a flesh wound." She lied, as she took the towel and whined in pain as she applied as much pressure as possible to the wound.

He had seen her quickly cover her side up when he walked in the room. He sat back down on the couch and watched her closely.

The skin around her eyes had taken on a dark bluish tint and her face kept getting whiter with every passing moment.

"If you were still mostly human I could heal you..." He said. He didn't have the ability to heal supernatural beings.

"It's fine… you need to save your strength anyways for tomorrow when we fight Raphael." Addison said, as she pushed the towel even tighter against her side and hoped she'd make it to tomorrow.

"I'm not strong enough to fight him. And you're badly injured." He said.

"I said it's not that bad." She defended even though her eyelids were starting to close, but she kept fighting to stay awake.

He watched her closely as her head started to drop and she'd snap back awake.

Leaning over he grabbed the towel and started to pull it away.

"Stop." She argued as she tried to keep a grip on it.

He ignored her and easily pulled it from her weak grip.

"Damn it. I said I'm fine Cas… it's not that bad." She said, as she placed her hand back over the wound on top of her shirt.

"Let me see it." Cas said, as he gently pulled her hands away from her side.

"Stop…" She told him, but she couldn't fight him.

He lifted her shirt, and his eyes widened as he saw the bright orange-red light still seeping out from the wound.

She pinned her eyes shut, not wanting to see the look on his face.

He let go of her shirt and scooted back on the couch, his breathing uneven.

She grabbed the towel and tried to apply pressure to the wound, but she was growing weaker by the minute.

Swallowing hard he pulled her against him, with her wounded side facing away from him.

Her eyes started to close again but she kept fighting it.

Pulling her hands away from the towel he scooted as close as he could against her good side.

With his arms around her he put both hands on the towel over her side as she lay limp against him.

"I'm sorry." He said, before he pushed the towel hard against her side.

Her eyes popped open and she yelled out in pain, he closed his eyes he couldn't stand the sound of her being in pain but she wasn't applying enough pressure to the wound he had to stop the bleeding long enough for her body to continue to heal.

Knowing he was trying to help her, she grabbed onto the front flaps of his trench coat, gathering handfuls of the material and squeezing it trying not make any pained noises. She didn't want him to know how bad it was hurting her.

She could feel his breathing was labored as she lay against him, she bit down on her lip and the inside of the cheek trying to keep from screaming out; her hands still desperately squeezing the fistfuls of fabric from his trench coat.

But when he had to push harder against her wound, her whole side felt like it was on fire again and she couldn't help it as she cried out into the room, still clutching onto his coat as tears poured down her face and he kept the pressure steady.

As the pain only seemed to get worse from the solid, intense pressure on the wound she started to squirm in his arms, trying to move away so the pain would stop.

She wasn't sure how the pain from the pressure was worse than when they still had the angel blade stuck in her side.

Tears continued to stream down her face and she let go of his trench coat and put her hands against his chest, trying to break free from his arms but in her severely wounded state she was no match for his strength.

"Please stop." She said, her voice hoarse as she continued to try and move away from him.

"I'm sorry, Addison." He said again as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head while she continued to squirm and sob in his arms.

He had to wait until the pain wasn't as bad, because that meant the wound was almost healed. For the next 30 minutes he had to hold her against him and apply pressure to her side, she squirmed in pain and desperately tried to get away from him.

Finally the pained noises stopped, even though her breathing was still erratic, but she had stopped trying to get away from him.

He released his hold on the blood soaked towel, and lifted her shirt; the wound had entirely healed.

He breathed a sigh of relief and dropped the towel to the floor by the couch.

Expecting her to immediately get up and move away from him for hurting her he scooted back a little bit to give her some room.

But he looked down surprised as she scooted back against him, pulling her knees up to her chest and leaning against him.

Slowly he put his arms back around her, breathing another small sigh of relief that she still wanted him there.

"I know that hurt you… but I had to stop the bleeding and cover the wound or you were going to die." He told her, his voice barely over a whisper, her heaven didn't have any music or other sounds at the moment.

"I know you were just trying to help me." She said, her voice still a little hoarse.

"I didn't want to do it…" He told her, his arms slightly tightening around her.

"What was Raphael talking about when he said we merged on all levels?" Addison asked.

"You're my mate." Castiel said, his voice still low as he wondered why he hadn't come the conclusion by himself.

"I heard that part… I don't understand what all it means though." She said.

"It's extremely rare for angels to find a mate. I should have figured it out sooner, that's why when we touch we get that overwhelming feeling of bliss, our entire selves fused together." He said.

"The fused and merging part, that's what I don't understand." She admitted.

"The reason it's so rare for angels to find a true mate; we have to merge on all levels. First it entails us both falling for each other the way we were when we met; you mostly human and me being an angel." He told her.

"The second reason it's so rare… the angel has to fall, and continue to love the same person. The first time we made love… you were mostly human and I was mostly human. We merged on a physical and emotional level while we were both human." He continued.

Taking a deep breath he said, "Then comes the part when the human has to sacrifice everything for the angel. That's what you did when you fought and beat death… you ran away from the chance of paradise. You could have given in and came to your heaven, never felt pain or any negative feeling or emotion ever again."

"But I turned and ran in the other direction… away from the light and right into the pain because you meant more to me than anything." She agreed, swallowing hard.

"The day you were supposed to die, you lost most of the human side that day. You're more Nephilim than you are human, the same day I was fully restored to an angel again." He said.

Looking down at where she was still cuddled up to his side he said, "We made love… you weren't human and I wasn't human, that was last and final merging between us. That night every single fiber of our beings was fused together. That's why were so dizzy and everything was intense… we were entirely merging."

She processed what he said, "So pretty much, an angel and human have to fall in love the way they are. Then the angel has to sacrifice everything and fall, then the human has to sacrifice their shot at eternal happiness. Then they have to seal the deal as 2 non-humans?"

"Merge entirely on all 4 levels." He said with a nod.

"And so, it just happens that you're sent to protect me and we fall in love. Then you get cut off from heaven because you rebelled, essentially falling. And I decided that I'd endure whatever pain I had to –to be with you, defied death and became immortal like you." She said, swallowing hard.

"After all of it, we still loved each other just as much as in the beginning." He finished.

"Man, seriously what are the chances of this all happening? I mean… the timing for all those events couldn't have been more perfect and it all happened in the order it needed to, to fuse us?" She said, shaking her head.

"I've only heard of this happening 1 other time, and it was 2000 years ago, and they planned for it happen... turned the human into a vampire so they could complete the last step as 2 non-humans." He told her.

"What does this mate thing mean, like what does it all entail?" She asked.

"You're my mate… now that we're fused, the love and the feelings that we have for each other is the absolute strongest thing anyone has ever felt. It's forever." He finished the explanation.

A tear slid down her face as she pinned her eyes shut.

There was a time when that was exactly what she had wanted, to be the single most important thing to him. But she saw the complete terror in his eyes when Raphael threatened to kill her, and the realization was starting to sink in of what this meant.

"We can't survive without each other now… can we?" She asked.

"It's highly doubtful… If one of us dies the loss would be so devastating to the other that they probably wouldn't be able to function." He told her.

Readjusting in his arms she wrapped her arms around him, holding onto him tightly as she felt more tears stinging her eyes.

"I love you." She said, her voice muffled by his shirt as she spoke.

Keeping his arms locked tight around her and wondering what was going to happen with Raphael the next day, he whispered "I love you too."

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Thank you for reading. I really hope you enjoyed the chapter. ^_^**

**I truly love writing this story, but I focus my attention on my more popular stories that I know readers have interest in... and I'm starting to feel like there isn't really an interest in this story anymore.**

**Did you all hear the amazing news? Misha Collins will be upraged to a series regular in season 9! ^_^**

** **I would really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know that you're still reading.** If you're still reading and liking this story please don't be a silent reader. I appreciate each and every review so much and you guys are my inspiration to keep writing and sharing my work on this site.**


	33. Touch the Sky

**Part Thirty Three.**

"_We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.__"_

_~ Oscar Wilde_

* * *

><p>"I think we should go talk to Dean. I think he might be able to help up come up with something to do about Raphael." Addison said as she was still leaned up against Castiel on the couch.<p>

"He's sacrificed so much." Castiel said.

"Who else are we going to call? There is no one else who can help us." Addison reminded him.

He gently moved away from her on the couch and stood up.

"Are you going to talk to Dean?" She asked.

He nodded.

"Great, let's go." She said as she started to scoot forward.

"I'll speak to Dean, you need to stay here and rest. You barely survived that, and if we are going to have to fight you'll need every ounce of your strength." He explained.

Sighing she nodded her head, knowing he was right.

It was close to 20 minutes later when she knew she couldn't just sit there and wait on him anymore.

Still in her blood soaked clothes she stood from the couch and ported herself to Castiel.

She concealed herself, so Dean wouldn't see her.

"Have you talked to him yet?" Addison asked looking over to Cas.

Castiel looked back at her, his blue eyes sad as he saw her skin was still a pasty white, and the skin around her eyes still dark.

"You shouldn't have used your energy… you're supposed to be resting." He told her.

"I had to know what was going on." She admitted as she turned and watched as Dean was raking the leaves from the yard.

"He looks so sad…" Addison said, shaking her head back and forth as she frowned.

"With everything he's sacrificed… how can we ask him for more?" Castiel said, as they both stood invisible to the human eye and watched him continue to rake leaves.

"Because we have no other option and we're friends… not matter what we've lost when it comes down to it, we band together; especially if it's something as extreme as the apocalypse again. If it happens, he went through all of that and lost Sam for nothing. We have to stop Raphael." Addison said, as she looked at Cas.

Castiel's eyes grew even sadder as they continued to watch Dean.

"Ah, Castiel… angel of Thursday. Just not your day, is it?" Crowley asked as he appeared behind them.

Looking at Addison, he looked back to Cas, "Just couldn't leave her dead, huh?" He asked, thinking Cas had brought her back to life.

"I never died." She said looking at him.

His eyes scanned her blood soaked clothes as he wondered how she had managed to survive her fate.

Glancing back to where Dean was still raking leaves, Castiel asked "What are you doing here?"

"I want to help you, help me, help ourselves." Crowley said, ignoring Addison as he spoke only to Castiel.

"Speak plain." Castiel said.

"I want to discuss a simple business transaction, that's all." Crowley told him.

"You want to make a deal? With me?" Castiel asked him with raised eyebrows.

Looking over to Addison he thought of the deal she had made with him, and how Crowley had taken her for over 2 months.

"I'm an angel, you ass. I don't have a soul to sell." Castiel responded to him.

"But that's it, isn't it? It's all of it." Crowley said, smugly.

"Would it honestly kill you to just talk normal and stop being so cryptic? He said speak plain." Addison said, with a heavy sigh of irritation.

Turning his attention to her Crowley said, "And there's that delightful attitude of yours that I've missed so much."

"Spit it out Crowley, why are you here?" She snapped, her nerves on edge from the events of the day.

"It all comes down to the souls in the end… Doesn't it, Cas?" Crowley questioned, no longer paying attention to Addison.

"What are you talking about?" Castiel asked him.

"I'm talking about the end of Raphael. I'm talking about happy endings for all of us… with all possible entendres intended." Crowley said.

"Come on… just a chat." Crowley said, as he started to turn away from them.

Addison looked to Castiel who briefly glanced over at her before disappearing with Crowley.

"Damn it!" She exclaimed.

Looking back to Dean she thought about going ahead and talking to him, but decided she had to know what Crowley was trying to talk Castiel into.

Mustering more of her strength, even though she already felt like she was on the verge of passing out, she focused on where Castiel was and ported to him.

She appeared in a long hallway with an extremely long line of people moving very slowly.

She walked along the side of the line wondering where they were, and looking for Cas.

As she walked farther down the hallway she saw them round a corner, but they didn't know she was there.

"What are you planning to do about Raphael?" Crowley questioned.

"What can I do, besides submit or die?" Castiel responded.

"Submit or die? What are you, French?" Crowley retorted.

She listened closely without alerting them that she was there.

Crowley suggested that Castiel start a civil war in heaven.

"You're asking me to be the next Lucifer." Castiel said, shocked at the idea.

"Please, Lucifer was a petulant child with daddy issues. Cas, you love God. God loves you. He brought you back, kept Addison alive." Crowley said, thinking of everything he could to sell the idea to the angel.

"No, she kept herself alive." Castiel informed him.

"Point is, didn't it occur to you that he did this so you could be the new sheriff upstairs?" Crowley asked.

"This is ridiculous. The amount of power that it would take to mount a war…" Castiel said, but Crowley cut him off.

"More than either of us have ever seen, yeah." Crowley said, as they turned down another hallway and she followed.

Her eyes widened as she listened to Crowley tell Castiel that they could bust open Purgatory and take the souls locked inside.

"An untapped oil well of every fanged, clawed soul. Over the years we're looking at 30-40 million. Just sitting there plump and rich for the taking." Crowley continued to sell his idea.

She listened for a little while longer, but had finally had enough.

"Nice try… but we're not buying what you're selling." Addison said, as she walked up to them making her presence known.

"Addison." Crowley said with a sigh looking at her. "Don't remember inviting you along."

"Yes… that was very rude by the way. And you want to bitch about my people skills." She said, looking at him her light green eyes slightly dull from how tired she was.

"You want Raphael to kill you? To bring down everything that the both of you, and Sam and Dean worked for?" Crowley asked her.

"Of course not, which is why tomorrow we're going to gather every angel who will stand by us and fight Raphael." Addison said.

Castiel looked over at her.

"From the looks of it you're not going to be much use in a fight." He said, glancing back down to her drying blood soaked clothes.

"We're still going to try." She informed him.

"He will squash you." Crowley told her.

Looking up at Cas she said, "You cannot seriously be considering this? Working with a demon?"

He was silent.

"No, absolutely not… we are not doing this, Cas. We're not making a deal with him. Nothing good ever comes from working with demons." Addison said.

"Is that so? I seem to recall you jumping at a deal with me before." Crowley reminded her.

"It was a fair deal… and it didn't involve busting the door open to a place where you say there is 30-40 million fanged, clawed souls. So you can take your proposal and shove it up…" She began but he cut her off.

Looking to Castiel he said, "So what's it going to be angel?"

Addison reached down and grabbed Castiel's' hand and shook her head back and forth, "We can't do this." She said, holding her breath as the waves again shot through the both of them.

Crowley watched them with slightly narrowed, inquisitive eyes as he saw the moment she touched him they both stopped breathing for a moment.

Looking back and forth between them he cocked his head to the side.

Addison removed her hand from Cas' and he looked to Crowley, "It's too dangerous and countless others have tried to open Purgatory, and no one has ever succeeded. It would take too long for it to work, we need the power tomorrow."

"I'd be willing to lend you some souls… enough to kick Raphael into next week, provided we split the Purgatory souls 50/50." Crowley explained.

Castiel looked like he was considering it.

"Come on…" Crowley said, trying to persuade him.

Addison again reached her hand down and placed it on his.

He looked over at her as she shook her head no.

"It won't work." Castiel informed Crowley before porting himself and Addison into her heaven.

"I can't believe you really considered that!" She yelled as she looked around the living room and crossed her arms over her chest.

"We have no other plan." He defended.

"Fight… without Crowley's help… even if this plan did work he would screw us over. And splitting those souls with the King of Hell, he's already got too much power as it is now that Lucifer is gone." Addison pointed out.

"Neither of us will make it through the fight tomorrow." Castiel told her.

"Maybe we will… I have defied every single other expectation… maybe I can use my powers stun him enough that you or one of the other angels can get the upper hand and kill him." Addison said, her arms still crossed over her chest.

"You would kill yourself in the process." He pointed out.

She avoided his eyes and glanced down to the glass top coffee table in front of the bold purple couch.

He took a few steps forward.

"Is that what you're planning?" He questioned.

"No, but I think we both have to realize it very well might come down to it… and what's more important; my life or keeping him from bringing on the apocalypse? All I am saying is that if there is a chance that I can weaken him so we can take him out… I am going to take it." She told him, her light green eyes intense as she spoke to him.

"No… you won't." Castiel argued.

"You're so strong, Cas. Look at everything you've accomplished and how far you've came these past few years; if the worst case scenario happens and I die… I really think you'd be able to pull through it. I believe in you more than I believe in anything or anyone else." She said, quickly glancing away from his eyes when she saw the devastated look return to them.

She looked down at herself, her blood soaked clothes had dried and were uncomfortably stiff and stuck to her.

"I'm taking a shower and getting out of these clothes… then we'll talk more about tomorrow…" She said, glancing up at him to see he was still starring at her with the same pained expression.

After her shower she changed into a pair of jeans and a fitted plain V-neck green t-shirt.

Walking back into the living room she saw Castiel sitting on the couch with his hands folded in his lap, looking down to the floor.

"Cas?" She questioned, slowly walking into the room.

He didn't respond.

"Hey…" She said as she walked up to the couch.

He didn't move.

"I'm feeling better… getting my strength back." She offered with a small smile.

"Just in time to die." He said, still not looking up at her.

"Cas…" She said as she leaned down and moved his hands, she straddled his lap facing him.

He looked up at her.

"I'm not going to kill myself." She said.

"Maybe not intentionally, but trying to use any power on…" He started to say.

But she silenced him with a kiss.

Pulling back she said, "Tomorrow when Raphael calls for the assembly, we are going to bow down and pledge our allegiance to him and his cause."

"He will bring on the apocalypse." Castiel told her.

Leaning in she pressed another kiss to his lips.

"There is a little something called dishonesty… you're not very good at lying so I think maybe I should do the talking. I'll tell him that we've decided to join his side because it's not worth losing each other. With knowing I'm your mate he'll buy it. Then we will pretend to be on his side, while I build my strength back up and we work out a plan that doesn't involve us dying. When the time is right, before he frees Michael and Lucifer, we'll strike." She said, the plan she had thought up while she took her shower.

"If we're found out…" Castiel said shaking his head back and forth.

"Then what? He kills us… we're already facing that." She pointed out with a sigh as she held onto the front of his trench coat.

He looked upset still.

"I know you think lying is wrong and you don't like to do it… but sometimes you have to lie to accomplish a greater good. This is one of those cases…" She said as she looked at him.

He nodded.

She managed a small but weak smile.

"I'm really tired… if I lay down and sleep will you wake me up before we have to meet with Raphael tomorrow? We'll have to go over our plan before we meet him." Addison said.

"Yeah, I'll stay here with you." He said.

She smiled and kissed him, before getting up and heading into the bedroom.

He watched her as she pulled the blanket down on the bed and he sat down on the bed beside her, on top of the blanket.

"Please wake me up in enough time so we can make sure we've got our plan straight." She said as she scooted up beside him and closed her eyes.

"I will." Castiel said as he scooted down in the bed, and pulled her against him.

It was an hour later, he knew she was asleep; he watched her and thought about Crowley's plan to open Purgatory, it was risky but with the small loan of souls Crowley had offered him it would be enough to start the war in heaven and stand up to Raphael the next day.

He started to wake Addison up to tell her Crowley's plan was more solid than her plan of lying her way through everything, but then he thought of what she had told him; _sometimes you have to lie to accomplish a greater good_.

Slowly and careful to no wake her up he slid off of the bed and stood beside it, taking one more look at her before porting away to meet with Crowley and accept the deal.

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><p><em><strong>AN - I hope you all enoyed the update. Thank you for reading.**_

_**I also want to take a moment to thank all of you who have added my stories to your favorites, or subscribed for updates! ^_^**_

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	34. In The Daylight We'll Be On Our Own

**Part Thirty Four.**

"_The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind."_

_~ H.P Lovecraft_

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><p>It had been almost 14 hours since Addison lay down to sleep that her eyes slowly fluttered open, and she looked around the almost dark room.<p>

She raised her head and saw Castiel was still with her; she didn't know he had left and made the deal with Crowley.

She snuggled against his side and said, "How much longer till we meet with Raphael?"

His voice was quiet and calm as he answered her, "I met with him 4 hours ago."

"What?" She gasped sitting up and looking at him.

"And you told him we were going to work for him?" She asked.

"No, I fought him." Castiel told her.

Her eyes widened and she jumped off the bed, turning the lights in the room on.

"You… you look fine, are you hurt?" She asked, her heart pounded away inside of her chest.

"I'm fine, I won… for now, but he's going to rally his forces and a civil war has begun." He told her.

"How did you win, Cas?" She asked.

He wanted to tell her the truth, but he knew she wouldn't understand.

"I got enough angels to stand behind me and we showed him we had more power than he thought…" Castiel lied.

"Oh my god." Addison breathed out crossing her arms over her chest as she shook her head back and forth.

Standing from the bed and facing her he said, "What?"

"Cas… please tell me you didn't agree to help the King of Hell steal the souls from Purgatory." She said, her eyes searching his face.

"We agreed we wouldn't make the deal with Crowley. I only left here to speak to the other angels and fight Raphael." He lied, and was surprised at how honest his voice sounded

"Then why didn't you wake me up?" She questioned.

"You were still so weak." Castiel said, reasoning with himself that it was only a half-lie because she was still weakened from almost dying.

"You should have woke me up…" She said.

"I'm sorry." He told her, his words earnest as he was sorry for lying to her.

Walking up she reached up putting her arms around the back of his neck and lightly pushing her body against his, he rubbed his hands down her sides then stopped as he rested his grip on her hips.

"You swear to me that you didn't enter into some kind of deal with Crowley?" She asked her light green eyes searched his face for any signs of dishonesty.

"I told you I didn't." He said.

"I know… and I want to believe you. But I also want to believe that global warming isn't real… and each year there is more and more proof. It's just a little too convenient that Crowley offers you this deal and then you are miraculously able to get the power to start this war. I'm sorry for doubting you… but it all just seems like too perfect of timing." She said, swallowing hard after she spoke.

Letting go of her hips he sighed heavily.

"I don't know what else you want me to say." He said, clearly frustrated.

Just as he was about to own up and tell her he didn't have a choice but to make the deal with Crowley, she leaned in kissing him.

She knew Castiel was honest and couldn't lie to strangers, let alone her.

"I believe you." She said as she rested her forehead against his.

He slowly brought his hands back up and held onto her, barely able to hide the look of shock and sadness on his face. Shock because she had actually believed him and sadness because he had to lie to her.

After pressing another kiss to his lips she wrapped her arms around him, and smiled against his shirt as he hugged her back.

"I still wish you would have woke me." She said, but was just thankful he was still alive and that they had a chance at defeating Raphael.

"So… what exactly does this civil war mean for us?" She questioned.

"All the angels are going to pick sides; they'll either stand with me or Raphael. It's war so… there are going to be casualties." He said with a frown at the thought, they were all his brothers and sisters.

"Are Raphael's supporters going to be coming after me?" She asked.

"Yes." He said, his arms tightening around her.

"Okay. I'll just constantly be on guard." She said, holding onto him tighter when she realized they were both really going to be attacked.

**~(3 months later)~**

Addison stood in the living room of her family's lake house her hands on her hips as she looked at Castiel.

"I just don't understand why we can't at least try to pull Sam from the cage." She continued the argument they had been having for the past 20 minutes.

Castiel hadn't told her, but he had pulled Sam from the cage the same day that he had jumped in. But he knew something was a little off and he didn't want anyone to know he had pulled him out.

He knew Sam was working with his grandfather Samuel who had also been resurrected, gathering monsters for Crowley to torture for information to get into Purgatory.

He was afraid that if Addison found Sam, she'd put everything together and he didn't want her to know he was working with Crowley.

"We don't have the power to pull Sam from the cage." Castiel lied.

"Maybe we can talk to Crowley, then? I mean he's the King of Hell… the cage has to be related to Hell somehow, maybe he knows something." Addison offered.

"No, you cannot talk to Crowley." Castiel said. Crowley had been warned not to breathe a word of it to Addison about Purgatory, but he didn't trust the demon.

Addison's face showed a look of confusion.

"I can't talk to Crowley? Why not?" She asked.

"He wouldn't know anything about pulling Sam from the cage, and even if he did, he wouldn't help us." Castiel said.

"We could threaten him." Addison offered.

"No, Addison." Castiel said.

She let out a heavy sigh.

"Then what are we going to do? Just keep letting him rot in there?" She asked her eyes sad.

"We don't have any another option right now." Castiel said, looking around the living room of the cabin.

"I know we've got a civil war going on… but I'm stronger than I was before, maybe if I can find out where the cage is I can pull Sam from it." She asked, it was making her increasingly sad to think of Sam suffering in the cage.

"That's another problem, you're getting stronger." Castiel told her.

"How is that a problem?" She asked.

"You're not human anymore; your powers should be fully developed and stable. But you keep getting stronger." He said.

"I still don't see how strength is a bad thing." She stated.

He avoided her eyes.

"Why do I constantly feel like you are hiding things from me now? If you know something, I have a right to know Cas." She said.

"I don't know anything for sure, it's a just a theory." He said.

"Share it then." She said.

"Even before when you were mostly human, you grew stronger with every kill made by your powers; you got a little stronger when you killed demons, but demons aren't that powerful." He said.

He waited, but when she didn't respond he continued.

"But recently, with the war you've been having to use your abilities to kill angels… and angels are much stronger than demons, and you've been getting increasingly stronger. Healing faster, killing faster, not wearing down at a rapid rate." He said.

"I don't understand… what are you getting at?" She asked him.

"It's rare.. but I've heard that some Nephilim manage to syphon off a bit of power from every kill they make. It would make sense in your case, you keep getting stronger because you're killing angels, it's possible that you're absorbing a bit of their power from every angel you've killed." He said.

She thought about what he was saying, and it did make sense.

"I just don't know how much power you'd be able to take in before it starts to kill you." He explained.

"You think I'm just going to drop dead from it?" She questioned.

"Chances are you'd explode and possibly take a chunk of the planet with you." He said, without sugar coating it.

"Great!" She exclaimed.

"That's sarcasm, correct?" He questioned.

"Correct." She said nodding.

"But, I don't think it's an issue right now… it would probably be hundreds of years of steady killings before that would happen. You just need to use caution and try to avoid killing by your abilities." He told her.

"I am getting attacked almost every single day…" She pointed out.

Holding his hand out an angel blade appeared in it.

"When it's possible… use this." He told her.

"Okay…" She agreed taking the blade and remembering how she was almost killed by one.

**~(A few days later)~**

Addison looked around the large office and wondered why Crowley would need an office in hell.

After a little while she sat down on the desk facing the door of the room, and waited.

Crowley opened the door and walked in, stopping when he saw her sitting on his desk.

"What do you want?" He asked, shutting the door behind him.

"Why do you have an office? It's Hell… it's not like you've got paperwork you need to file away or anything." She told him as she remained sitting on the desk.

"For appearances… again, what do you want?" He asked her.

"Sam." She responded.

Crowley raised an eyebrow and smirked as he said, "Well, I believe Castiel will be upset at the news."

Her eyes widened, "No! I don't want him like that!" She exclaimed.

"I'm not passing judgment… just seems like you're more attracted to Dean. But I suppose moose is more your type." He said, still smiling smugly at her.

She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Oh my god, I don't want either one of them like that. Must you twist every conversation into something sexual?" She questioned, an eyebrow arched at him.

Tucking his hands in his pockets he said, "With you… yes."

"Why?" She asked, her eyes slightly narrowed at him.

"I like to make you nervous. And you, Addison, you just make it so easy." He said, taking a few steps towards her.

Hopping off the desk and walking over to the side she said, "Do you know of a way I can get Sam from the cage?"

"Why?" He asked.

"Umm, obviously because he's my friend and I want him out." She said, with a slight roll of her eyes.

"It really wouldn't do any good to tell you a way to get him out." Crowley said, a little surprised Castiel hadn't told her Sam was out.

"I'm not asking you to put your ass on the line for this. I simply need you to point me in the direction of the cage and I will figure a way to get him out." Addison said confidently.

"You really think you've got that kind of juice?" He questioned an amused look on his face.

"I'm stronger than ever… wanna see?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest clearly not finding him amusing.

"Tempting… but I told you it wouldn't do any good. Sam is out of the cage already." He told her.

"What?" She gasped.

"Has been for 3 months now." Crowley told her.

"You're lying!" She accused.

"By all means don't just take my word on it… go see for yourself." Crowley said.

Addison thought for a moment focusing her thoughts on Sam until she was able to locate him.

"Wait… if he's in the cage and I port to him, will I get stuck in there?" She asked.

Crowley looked around his office.

"You… you're trying to get me locked in the cage! Well, I'm not falling for that Crowley." She snapped.

"I already told you. He's above ground." He said.

"I don't believe you." She said, her eyes narrowed at him again.

"Believe me, don't believe me… I don't care either way." He said as he started to turn and walk away.

She concentrated and he dropped to the ground coughing up blood and groaning in pain.

After a few moments she released her concentration.

He rose to his feet and looked at her, wiping the blood off his face.

"That was for trying to get me locked up with Lucifer, he happens to be mad at me because I tried to push him into the cage the first time we opened the portal." Addison explained.

She could see his jaw tensing in anger as he looked at her.

"Have a nice day, Crowley." She said, as she started to walk past him.

As she got to the door he snapped his fingers and she let out a pained groan and grabbed her head as she fell to the ground.

"Stop!" She shrieked as it felt like her brain was swelling and trying to break right through her skull.

He waited a few moments before he stopped.

She looked up at him from where she had dropped to the floor.

"I'm the King of Hell." He reminded her.

Taking a deep breath and trying to ignore the pressure still left in her head she stood and faced him.

"I could kill you." She said.

"Maybe… but chances are I might be able to kill you too." He pointed out.

"Lucky for you… I'd rather you be running the show down here. So I'm going to let you live… for now." She said.

"I think you should get going." He said, it took every bit of power he had to not try to rip her apart with the way she was acting towards him. But if he hurt or killed her, Castiel wouldn't help him get into Purgatory, and opening Purgatory was more important than getting revenge.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me how to get to the cage." She argued.

His eyes locked with hers as he said, "Addison… you need to leave while you still can." His voice had a growl to it as he spoke.

She raised her hands and snapped her fingers. He flew across the room, breaking a tall wooden book case and fell to the floor coughing up more blood.

Addison walked over a few steps away from him. She looked down as he continued to make pained noises and spit up more blood.

"You know, the snapping in un-necessary… but I like the dramatic effect." She said, smirking at him.

"Stop!" He managed to say in-between coughs and blood pouring form his mouth onto the floor.

Raising her hand she snapped her fingers again, and it stopped.

"Let's review, shall we? I'm not leaving until you tell me what I want to know… I hardly sleep anymore, so I can keep this up for a long time Crowley." She said.

"Sam Winchester is alive, you unbearable half-caste trollop." Crowley growled as he angrily spit blood out onto the floor.

"Did you just call me a whore?" She questioned, her eyes dark as she spoke

He looked at her as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped blood from his chin.

"So you know the meaning of the word trollop but not grouse?" He asked referring to an earlier conversation.

"I know some British slang…" She responded.

"Crowley… I don't entirely hate you…" She started to say but he cut her off.

"Makes one of us in this relationship." He responded.

"Anyways… so I don't really want to hurt or kill you. But the fact is, you're a demon and I don't trust you one little bit. Sam is my friend and I want him out of that cage and if that means I have to injure you in the process than so be it." She said.

"Come on." Crowley said taking a step towards her.

"You really wanna go for round 3?" She asked.

"You want proof Sam is alive, I will show you." He said, as he grabbed her arm.

They stood invisible in a warehouse with several people.

Addison's eyes widened as she saw Sam loading some weapons into a bag.

"He's alive!" Addison exclaimed.

"Told you." Crowley snapped.

"Why is he here instead of with Dean?" She asked.

"I don't spend my time following him around, I don't know." Crowley told her.

"I bet he just wants Dean to be happy out of the hunting life." Addison thought out loud.

"Are we done? This is getting humdrum." He said, looking over at her.

"Yeah." She said and watched as he disappeared.

She waited a few moments before porting back to him at his office.

"Thank you for showing me." She said.

He turned around from the table in the corner where several glass bottles of alcohol sat.

Taking a drink from the glass in his hand he said, "Do you have nothing better to do than pursue me?"

"I am not attempting to pursue you. I just wanted to thank you for showing me Sam was okay." Addison said, her words honest.

"My pleasure." He sarcastically responded, as he finished the drink off from his glass.

"And uh… sorry about all the blood." She said, looking down to the carpet in the 2 places where she had forced him to cough and spit up blood.

"Don't you have a civil war to attain to?" He asked.

"Again, I am sorry. But honestly the whole thing could have been avoided if you had just swallowed your pride and showed me sooner." She said, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Are we done?" He questioned, wishing she'd leave him alone because he had a few monsters he needed to torture for information on Purgatory.

"For now." She said with a nod, before disappearing from the room.

* * *

><p><strong>AN-Thank you all for reading! I hope you guys all enjoyed the update!**

**Thank you to everyone who has subscribed for updates and/or favorited my stories!**

**I posted a new SPN story titled 'Spectrum' As of right now I'm leaning more towards it being a Cas/oc story with some Crowley/oc bits. Please check it out and let me know what you think, I will be updating it within a few days. ^_^**

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave me a review. I know it seems like a small thing, but it will only take you a few moments to drop me a few lines and let me know you read and (hopefully) liked the chapter. I put so much time and effort into writing, editing and updating my stories, that's why I focus on my most popular stories. Lately, I've felt like interest in this story is dwindling... It would mean the world to me if you'd review, even if it's just a few lines. You guys are my inspiration and it's your kinds words and support that keep me going with these stories.**


	35. Crimson Painting

**Part Thirty Five.**

"_My reign is not yet over... you live, and my power is complete. Follow me; I seek the everlasting ices of the north, where you will feel the misery of cold and frost to which I am impassive. You will find near this place, if you follow not too tardily, a dead hare; eat and be refreshed. Come on, my enemy; we have yet to wrestle for our lives; but many hard and miserable hours must you endure until that period shall arrive." _

_~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein  
><em>

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><p>"What are you doing?" Castiel asked as he appeared in Addison's heaven.<p>

She was sitting on the hard wood floor with a large container on blood beside her, and a large paper which she was painting symbols on with a paint brush dipped in blood.

She looked up from the painting, and from the old book she was reading out of.

"Trying to keep my heaven inaccessible to any angel, except you." She said nodding to the dead angel laying on the floor of her kitchen.

Castiel walked over and picked up the old bound book she was copying the sigils from.

"Where did you get this?" He asked her.

"I'm pretty sure the cover is bound in human skin… well, either human or pig… but it's old enough I'm pretty sure it's human." She informed him.

He looked at it.

"It's human skin, where did you get this book?" He asked her again.

"I keep getting attacked here by other angels, so I determined from this book, and those…" She said motioning to a small pile of books on the coffee table, "That with 3 equal parts of blood from an angel, demon and human, and the right symbols I can keep all angels out of my heaven except for you! This can be like our little safe house where we won't have to worry."

His eyes went to the large container of blood she was using as paint.

"Where did you get the blood?" He questioned.

"Well, that angel over there." She told him pointing back to the angel in the kitchen.

She dipped the brush back in the blood and resumed the sigil she was painting as she spoke, "I went to hell and grabbed the first demon I saw, and then I waited around at a hospital until one of the critical care patients died and got the human blood."

Going back to his earlier question he asked, "Where did you get these books, Addison?"

After she finished the painting, she laid the brush down and rose to her feet.

"I stole them from Crowley's house… his angel proofing doesn't affect me." Addison admitted.

"I told you not to talk to Crowley." Castiel said, his voice showing anger.

"I didn't talk to Crowley, I went to his house when he wasn't there… killed his guard demons and stole these book." She said.

Castiel shook his head angrily.

"It's fine… when I'm done I'll give them back. Well, maybe… I'm not sure, there are some pretty powerful blood spells in there I don't think he needs access to." She admitted, avoiding his angry gaze as she took the book from him and dropped it to the floor by where she was sitting.

"You didn't speak to Crowley?" Castiel asked her as he watched her intently.

She crossed the living room and picked up a large sheet of paper with more symbols painted on it that had dried, and crossed the living room pulling a painting off the wall and flipping it around.

She attached the paper with the sigils to the back of the frame and hung it back on the wall concealing it.

"Did you talk to him?" Castiel asked again his voice slightly raised he was worried Crowley might have told her that they were working together.

"Why are you yelling at me? I haven't done anything wrong." She defended as she turned and faced him.

"I am not yelling, you're just not answering me." He said.

"Why is it all of a sudden such an issue if I talk to Crowley?" She questioned.

"It isn't." Castiel said.

"Then what is going on?" She asked him.

"I don't trust him." Castiel told her.

"Yeah, I don't trust him either. And no I already told you I didn't talk to him, I snuck in and stole a few books from him… again, not a big deal." Addison said.

Sitting back down on the floor she avoided his eyes as she looked through the book until she found her page again, and resumed painting.

She felt bad for lying to him, she had spoken to Crowley a few days before about getting Sam from the cage, but she hadn't told Cas about it.

He sat down on the bold, dark purple couch and watched her as she studied the book and picked up a new sheet of paper.

"Are you just going to sit there and stare at me?" She asked, not looking up.

"Would you like me to leave?" He questioned, he kept his gaze steady on her.

She sighed under her breath and looked up at him, locking eyes as she spoke. "I never want you to leave… it just makes me uncomfortable when you sit and stare at me."

"I miss watching you." He admitted.

Since she had developed the power to make herself invisible, he wasn't able to just watch her anymore.

She looked up at him and smiled.

"Well… maybe instead of just staring at me, you can alternate between watching me and finding more spells that could help in those books. I can't use any angel-proofing because it will banish you also." She said.

He nodded and started to look through the pile of books in front of him on the coffee table.

His eyes stopped on the corner a book showing at the very bottom of the stack. Cocking his head to the side he grabbed the book and pulled it out of the pile, his eyes widened at seeing it.

"Crowley had this?" He questioned, holding the book up for her to see.

Glancing up she looked back down and shook her head back and forth.

"This is one of the original texts of angels… recorded by the first prophet ever known, humans don't even have a record of that prophet." He said.

"I know… it's kind of hard to decipher the language, but I think being more Nephilim than human helps me read things like that…and understand some Enochian." She admitted.

"If Crowley didn't have this where did you get it?" He asked her.

"Honestly… I took it off of one of Raphael's followers." She told him.

He stared at her in disbelief for a minute before he asked, "You took it off of one of Raphael's followers?"

"It's war Cas, I'm doing the best I can to keep myself and you alive. We're getting attacked daily… I'm still part human and need some sleep. I can't sleep and gather my strength back if I have nowhere safe to rest. I'm just trying to use my head here." She said, feeling like he was upset with her.

Glancing through the pages he said, "Getting this book was risky… but smart. It's better we have it in our possession than our enemy's."

She looked back up and smiled at him, glad he wasn't mad at her.

He watched as she looked back down and continued to paint on the paper, and started to think maybe he had underestimated her plan of defeating Raphael.

Every move she had made in this civil war so far was calculated and effective, he wondered if it was unnecessary to have entered into the deal with Crowley.

But it was too late to turn back, he needed those Purgatory souls… he had already showed up Raphael with the power of the 50,000 souls Crowley had lent him.

Then he thought of how Raphael had almost killed Addison.

"I'm sorry, Addison." Castiel said as he looked up from the book at her.

"For what?" She asked.

"I shouldn't have removed the Enochian from your ribs… if I had left it on Raphael wouldn't have been able to find you at the lake house." He said, his blue eyes bore into her.

"It's not your fault, Cas. You didn't know he was going to start all of this. We both thought it was safe to remove the Enochian because we thought the angels weren't after me anymore." She said as she finished up the last symbol on her paper.

"It was selfish on my part, I put my wanting to always find you above your safety." He admitted.

"Everything turned out okay, I'm still alive… because of you." She said as she stood and walked across the room, pushing one of the books back from the edge of the table, she sat down across from him on the table and took the book from his hands.

He looked at her as he held his hands in hers.

"I wanted the Enochian gone also, because I always want you to be able to find me too." She said, looking him in the eyes.

"Not one bit of this is your fault. This is all on Raphael, because he is just as screwed up as Uriel was… and Zachariah and Michael. Wanting the apocalypse to be fought and claiming it's god' will, all of the blame falls on them." She told him.

"I love you." She finished saying, as she leaned across the small space between them and kissed him.

"I love you too." He responded as he held onto her soft hair, letting it fall between his fingers and around his hands as he pulled her face closer to his.

**~(A few days later)~**

Addison looked down at the lush green grass under her shoes and tall full trees lined the perfect shade of blue sky above their head. There were all different kinds of bushes and flowers amongst the trees and small river.

Her eyes stopped on a man in a red sweater and khaki pants flying a small kite in the air as a fine mist of fresh rain fell from the sky.

She smiled at the scent of the fresh air, and knowing exactly where she was.

She was in the heaven Castiel seemed to favor, he always went there to think and collect his thoughts.

It was the eternal Tuesday afternoon, the heaven was created by an autistic man who drowned in a bathtub.

She saw Castiel sitting on the bench with his back to where she was standing.

"Cas…" She said as she sat down beside him.

He looked over at her and gave her a small smile.

"I need to tell you something…" She said, biting her bottom lip as she spoke.

"What?" He asked her.

"I've been lying to you for a week." She admitted.

"What about?" He asked, turning more sideways on the bench and looking at her.

"I told you that I didn't talk to Crowley… and I didn't talk to him when I stole those books, but I talked to him days before that." She admitted.

"Why?" He asked her.

"Because I had to know if he knew of a way to pull Sam from the cage." She admitted.

"I already told you…" He started to say but she cut him off.

"Sam is alive… he's out of the cage." Addison said.

Castiel's face didn't reveal a bit of surprise at her words.

"Oh my god… you knew, didn't you?" She asked.

"He prayed to me no too long ago…" Castiel said, not admitting he was the one who freed Sam from the cage.

"Why wouldn't you tell me that?" She asked.

"I've had other things on my mind… we are in the middle of a civil war." He reminded her.

"I know that… but when I came to you telling you I wanted to get Sam from the cage, you told me you didn't know of a way. You could have told me he was already out." She said, standing up and crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're upset." He stated, as he stood and faced her.

"Damn right I'm upset! I've been feeling like complete crap and so guilty for a week because I felt bad for lying to you and saying I hadn't spoken to Crowley. And then this whole time you've been hiding something from me." She said, a hurt expression on her face.

"I'm sorry." Was all he could manage to say, he didn't have an excuse that she'd understand without having to reveal he was working with Crowley.

"You're sorry?" She questioned, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, I truly am." He said, his eyes honest and sad as he spoke.

"I don't want an apology, Cas!" Addison said.

"When I've done something I regret, I'm supposed to apologize for it." He said.

"Yes… but instead of an apology… I want an explanation." She told him, her eyebrows arched in anger.

"You're extremely mad." He pointed out, looking down and shifting uncomfortably before looking back up at her with sad eyes.

"You need to tell me right now what's going on? Why did you lie to me?" She asked him.

"I don't have an explanation." He told her.

"Yes you do, there is always an explanation for something… It's simple you just tell me why you've been lying." She said.

"I said I don't have an explanation." He repeated, knowing he couldn't tell her he was trying to get into Purgatory.

"I love you, and I trust you. I think you owe me the same respect as I give you… you have to level with me and tell if something is going on." She said.

He shifted uncomfortable again.

"I don't like it when you're angry with me." He said.

"Then don't give me reasons to be mad at you." She said as she threw her arms up in the air in frustration.

"I don't try to." He admitted.

"I'm starting to believe that you are… I know you're going through a lot with this war, and you hate us having to kill the other angels because they are your brothers and sisters." She tried to empathize.

"I'm sorry that I've been aggressive with the war… and I've dropped quite a few bodies, but they are coming after me and I'm doing the best I can to stay alive." She said, her light green eyes growing sad.

"What?" He asked, not understanding what she was getting at.

"I don't just make needless killings, every single one I've done has been in either self-defense or helping you." She went on.

"You think I'm upset with you over killing angels?" He asked, surprised at her thought process.

"I mean maybe you just can't look at me the same way… but I'm still me. A tougher, stronger, and more determined me… but still me." She said, growing sadder.

"I don't hold anything you've had to do against you." He explained, feeling bad for making her think it was her fault that he was hiding stuff from her.

"I'm not so sure I believe that." She said, shaking her head.

"Addison, none of this is your fault…" He said, taking a few steps towards her.

"Then tell me what is going on? Why didn't you tell me Sam was alive?" She asked again.

"I still don't have an explanation… other events took precedence over that." He said, wishing he had a better excuse for her.

"I think I need to go to earth for a while…" Addison said, looking around the heaven they were in.

His face twisted with pain.

"Why?" He asked.

"I don't know… I just can't be in heaven right now… not this heaven, not my heaven not any of them. I've barely stepped foot on earth in going on 4 months. I'm kind of starting to feel like maybe I don't belong here." She admitted, looking down at the beautiful grass under her shoes.

"Of course you belong here… you belong with me." He said, a he took a few more steps towards her.

"I need some time… to be around humans again, or something… to feel human again I guess." She said, her words a little jumbled.

"You're not human anymore." He reminded her.

"I'm beginning to think I'm too human for all of this." She said, her voice sad as she spoke.

"I… I don't understand." He told her.

"I can't just shut off my feelings… or pretend that I'm not hurting. I'm not an angel… I'm not human… I just don't really belong anywhere anymore." She told him, looking back down at the ground.

"You can't change what you are." He said, his eyes sad as they traced the soft features of her face while she looked at him.

She shrugged and glanced around the heaven.

"Why would you want to change what you are?" He asked her.

"I don't know… I just kind of miss feeling like I belong." She said, shaking her head at how weak the sentence sounded.

"You do belong…" He began to say but he interrupted him.

"You think I belong with you… yeah, I know." She said.

"I don't think that. I know you do, I've never been more sure of anything." He told her.

She avoided his eyes.

"I would never change what you are… or anything about you. I love you." He said.

"I love you, but I think I just need some time… away from heaven." She finished holding her breath.

"Then I'll come with you." He said, taking another step toward her.

"You don't understand." She said shaking her head back and forth.

"Then explain it to me… I want to understand." He said, watching her intently.

"I don't want it to hurt you… but it's not just heaven I need time away from. I need a little time away from you. My feelings and trust for you is a little wounded right now." She said, trying to word it gently.

"Oh…" He said, looking at her.

"Yeah." She said, swallowing hard as she nodded.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- **_**Thank you for reading, I really hope you all liked the update! ^_^**_

_**I've been making sets on Polyvore to go along with this story and a few of my others, the link to my Polyvore account is on my profile.**_

**I updated my newest Supernatural fanfiction 'Spectrum' earlier today, if you haven't yet please check it out and let me know what you think. ^_^**

**I'd really love it if you'd take the time to leave me a review and let me know you are still reading. This is one of my favorite stories to write, and I focus my time on writing for and updating stories with the most interest. Your support and kind words are what keeps me writing and updating. **


	36. Barely Alive

**Part Thirty Six.**

"_It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see." _

_~Winston Churchill  
><em>

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><p>"How long are you going to be away from me?" Castiel asked her.<p>

"I'm not sure, until I feel a little bit better and you decide you can be honest with me." Addison admitted to him.

"I don't want you to go." Castiel told her, his voice revealed his sadness.

"I don't really want to go either, but I have to. I don't really know what I want right now and I just need some alone time. I can't give you an exact amount of time that I'll need." She told him.

"Where are you going to go? The lakehouse? Your grandmothers?" He asked her.

"Cas… I know that you're not human and the longer you're up here the worse your people skills get and the less you understand human customs… but when someone says the need some time alone, a break, you don't ask them every detail of what they are going to do." She said.

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do." He admitted.

"You're supposed to enjoy the time away from me, I'm not going to be here so you're welcome to use my heaven you're the only angel who can get in so it will be safe." She told him.

"I don't really enjoy time away from you." He told her, as he looked down at the ground.

"I love you, and that will never change. I'm going somewhere to cool off for a while because I'm still really mad and hurt that you lied to me. I'm going to be careful and still watch my back and miss you, but I need to do this." She told him.

"I love you too." He said looking up at her.

Before she changed her mind she ported to her heaven where she looked around appreciating the views from the window and thought of how upset Cas looked.

She realized she had forgot to tell him that if he needed her help with anything he could still call on her, so she ported back to the heaven he had been in.

As soon as she landed there she was greeted by an intense burning sensation on her arm.

She looked over to see an angel had just swiped an angel blade across her arm, she killed it in a matter of minutes.

But as soon as that one was gone another appeared, after she had fought and defeated 10 angels. She realized they had planned this attack on her, making her use her powers to defeat them one by one so she'd wear down quicker where they could either easily kill her or capture her.

Deciding to save the rest of her powers she pulled her own angel blade and started fighting with it, eventually she had an opportunity to flee so she left and ported herself to her grandmother's house landing with a thud in the middle of the living room.

"Addy!" Rose yelled jumping off the couch and rushing to her.

"Oh my god… what happened?" She asked, as she helped Addison to her feet.

"I got ambushed." Addison admitted.

"I just need to rest some, build my strength back up." Addison explained.

"You're bleeding honey." Rose said looking at her arm.

"I'm okay." Addison said weakly.

Rose helped Addison lay down on the couch and she took a few deep breaths.

It was less than an hour later that 3 angels appeared in the room with them.

Rose gasped and Addison jumped up off the couch.

Looking at the 3 male vessels she sighed, "Come one boys… we all know how this is going to end… I'm going to kick your feathery asses into next week."

"Addison!" Rose yelled, looking over at her granddaughter who was still extremely weakened from her fight just an hour earlier.

Addison watched as the 3 angels turned their attention to Rose.

"Grandma… go to the bedroom." Addison commanded.

"But…" rose started to argue.

"I'm right behind you… go!" Addison yelled.

Rose turned and rushed down the hallway into the bedroom, turning around she saw Addison was still standing in the living room.

"Addy!" Rose yelled.

"I'm sorry… I love you." Addison said as she waved her hand and the door slammed shut and locked, keeping her grandmother away from the angels.

She killed one with her abilities and then knew if she killed anymore she'd severely weaken herself.

So she had to fight the last 2 with her angel blade, she managed to kill the one, but as she was pulling her blade from the angels heart, she screamed in pain as the other angel had managed to get behind her and had drove the blade into her shoulder through her back, but it got stuck in her shoulder blade.

Quickly spinning around Addison killed the angel.

She took a few deep breaths through gritted teeth.

"Addison!" Rose yelled as she beat on the door.

The last thing she had heard was her granddaughter screaming in pain and then silence.

Addison waved her good hand and the door opened.

Rose rushed out and looked down at the 3 dead bodies. "Thank god."

She looked at Addison, who was still breathing in through gritted teeth.

"Addison?" Rose questioned.

"Grandma I need you to listen to me… okay?" Addison breathed still clenching her teeth.

"Okay…" Rose agreed nodding.

"I'm going to turn around… and I need you to not freak. Okay? I need you to stay calm." Addison said.

"I don't understand…" Rose admitted.

"Can you stay calm, this is very important." Addison said, feeling a little dizzy.

"Okay." Rose agreed.

Addison turned around and Rose gasped as tears stung her eyes.

"Oh my god!" Rose yelled.

"The end of the blade is stuck in my shoulder blade… its stuck in the bone and I can't reach it." Addison said.

"I… I can't…" Rose said, covering her mouth as tears fell down her face at seeing a blade sticking out of her granddaughter' back.

"Grandma… the blade is making me weaker, I need you to pull it out." Addison said.

"Oh Addy…" Rose said shaking her head franticly back and forth.

"I will die if you don't do this." Addison yelled, as her entire back felt like someone had poured acid on it.

Rose stepped forward and shakily put a hand on the blade, and her other hand in the middle of her granddaughters back.

Taking a deep breath she tried to pull it out, but when Addison cried out Rose stopped.

"I cant!" Rose yelled, her entire body was shaking.

"It's like a damn band-aid! One quick movement, I am getting weaker by the second. Man up Grandma!" Addison screamed.

Rose grabbed the handle of the blade, and placed her other hand firmly in the center of her back.

Counting to 3 in her head, Rose used all of her strength and pulled the blade out. Feeling sick to her stomach as she heard it scrape against bone on it's way out then she dropped it to the floor.

Addison screamed out in pain, and choked back the vomit in her throat.

"I'm so sorry!" Rose yelled, crying.

"It's okay." Addison said feeling her eyelids getting heavier.

"Now I need you to raise my shirt and see if there is an orange-red light showing from the wound." Addison said.

"What?" Rose asked, her head was spinning form everything.

"Please." Addison said as she turned around.

Rose shakily lifted her granddaughter's shirt and saw that a steady stream of red light was showing through the gaping wound.

"Yeah… there's light." Rose said.

"Shit." Addison said pinning her eyes shut and shaking her head.

"What does that mean?" Rose asked.

Addison sat down on the couch and instructed Rose to get a towel.

"Okay." Rose said holding up the decorative towel.

"Now I need you to use all of your strength and hold that towel against the wound… and if I scream or cry you have to keep pushing." Addison said.

"Oh honey…" Rose said shaking her head back and forth.

Addison's light green eyes locked with her grandmothers hazel eyes as she spoke "I am dying, that light means I'm fatally wounded and I need you to do this."

Rose nodded and put one hand on the front of her shoulder and held the towel steady and pushed it hard against the wound.

Immediately Addison yelled, as again it hurt worse than the actual blade being in her shoulder.

It wasn't even 30 seconds and Rose pulled the towel away crying uncontrollably.

"I can't do this, I'm so sorry… I can't sit here and hurt you." Rose cried.

"Grandma…" Addison started to argue.

But Rose dropped the towel on the coffee table and ran down the hallway to the bathroom.

Weakly, Addison grabbed the towel and balled it up laying it on the floor, she laid on top of it so that her body would push the wound down on the towel and put pressure on it.

Tears streamed down her face and she could feel herself starting to fade away.

Rose held onto he sides of the dark pink porcelain sink and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Castiel…" Rose said her voice low as she could barely manage to talk at all.

Taking a deep shuddering breath she said, "Castiel… I need your help, please."

She gasped as she saw him behind her in the reflection rom the mirror.

"Rose." Castiel greeted.

"It' Addison…" Rose cried.

"What?" Castiel asked her.

"She got ambushed… and…" Rose's voice trailed off as more tears fell down her cheeks and she pointed a shaky finger out of the bathroom down the hallway.

Castiel rushed out and saw her laying the floor.

"Addison." He said, his voice low and pained as he saw how bad she looked.

"Is she…?" Rose yelled as she saw how limp Addison's body was when Castiel picked her up.

"She's alive… barely." Castiel said as he raised the back of her shirt and saw the wound.

He closed his eyes for a second and swallowed hard.

"What are you going to do? What does that light mean? Can you save her?" Rose asked, her questions all joined together and barely audible through her tears.

"I have to apply pressure, stop the bleeding and keep the light in." He said.

"What does the light mean?" Rose asked.

Castiel picked the towel up from the floor and looked at it as he spoke.

"The light is her life essence slowly leaking out… she's dying." Castiel said, as he pulled Addison's shirt off and let it fall to the floor beside them.

"You might not want to watch this." Castiel stated as he scooted back on the couch and pulled Addison against him with her back to him and placed the towel over the wound with one hand. He reached his other arm around her stomach and held her tightly.

"I'm not going anywhere." Rose said as she sat down on the plush chair to the side of the couch.

"Addison… I'm sorry I have to do this again…" He said as he kissed the top of her head and pulled her body tighter against him and pushed the towel against her back.

She kept her eyes pinned shut and tried not to scream out, but when he pushed harder she could feel her shoulder blade breaking even worse than it already was.

Tears poured down her face and she screamed out in agony.

Rose covered her mouth with her hands and cried for her, not able to stomach the sounds of Addison's distress.

After about 10 minute she felt her shoulder blade snap from the continued pressure on the stressed and chipped bone.

"Oh my god… please… stop." Addison begged, as she could feel her bones moving around.

Castiel leaned down resting his chin on her head as he held her tight and kept the pressure steady.

"Cas… I can't… oh my god… I can't do this… let me go!" Addison screamed fighting against his hold again.

He sat like a stone.

"She said to stop!" Rose screamed looked at Castiel.

"I can't take it anymore." Addison sobbed the pain was unbearable.

"Ler her go! She said stop!" Rose yelled, angrily.

"If I stop she will die… is that what you want?" Castiel yelled at Rose.

Rose sat back down in the chair and hung her head crying uncontrollably, as she listened to Addison's pained cries and beg for him to let her go.

It was 40 minutes later when Castiel pulled the towel away and looked at her back.

"It' still open… it' closing but slowly…" He explained as he wrapped his arm back around her.

"I think it will be okay if we just let it be." Addison said, trying to stand from the couch but Cas pulled her back down.

"Please… don't do this anymore." She said, tears still running down her cheeks.

"I have to. I love you and I can't just let you die." Castiel said.

"No!" Addison yelled, but Castiel quickly applied more pressure to her back.

Another 30 minutes passed and Castiel looked at her back again.

Dropping the towel he wrapped both arms around her, gently but firmly holding her against him.

Rose watched as Addison continued to cry, and held onto his arms as she leaned into his embrace.

"You should sleep…" He said, his voice low.

"What if more angels come?" She asked, looking over to her grandmother with weak, dull eyes.

"If you're finished taking a break from me, and want to be around me again… I'll stay. I want to stay." Castiel told her.

"I'm sorry… I never should said I wanted a break." Addison said, her voice a weak whisper.

"Rest." He told her.

She weakly nodded and Castiel let go of her, she scooted over and shakily lay down.

Rose stood and walked to a linen closet and took out an orange blanket and handed it to Cas.

He looked down awkwardly at the blanket before unfolding it and covering her up as she was in her jeans and her bra, her shredded shirt was still on the floor.

As Castiel leaned up from placing the blanket over her, she grabbed his hand.

"Are you okay?" He asked her looking down at her hand on his.

"I love you… and I know you don't want to have to do that." She said, as her eyes closed.

"I love you too, Addison." He told her as she slowly pulled her hand back and drifted off to sleep.

Castiel looked at her a bit longer before he walked into the kitchen.

Rose leaned down and kissed her granddaughters forehead before following him into the kitchen.

She watched as he sat down at the table and stared down to his hands folded in his lap.

"Do you want something to drink? Coffee? Soda? Whiskey?" Rose questioned.

"I'm not human… I have no need to eat or drink." He told her.

"Right…" Rose said her voice trailing off as she looked around awkwardly.

"Thank you, for coming when I called you… you saved her life." Rose said as she sat down across the table from Castiel.

He was silent.

"She told me to keep pressure on it… and when she screamed in pain I couldn't do it. She tried to tell me if I didn't do it that she'd die, but I felt so bad for hurting her." Rose admitted.

"I don't like causing her pain.' Castiel told her.

"I know… and she knows that." Rose said.

Castiel nodded.

"You make her happy, she was here a couple months ago and every time she talked about you her whole face lit up." Rose informed him.

"She came here because she said she needed a break from me… a break from heaven." Castiel told her.

He thought of how he had lied to Addison and entered into a deal with Crowley.

"Being a 21 year old girl is hard… but she spends her days fighting demons and angels. I think it just gets overwhelming for her and she wants to find a bit of sanity." Rose offered.

He remained silent.

"You're the one thing that she adores above all else… and to tell you the truth, Castiel. When she first told me she had fell in love with an angel, I told her that you probably loved her back but it was a lie. I was just trying to make her feel better because she was hurting, and I can't stand to see her in any sort of pain." Rose admitted.

Taking a deep breath she continued, "Up until a year ago I thought angels had white fluffy wings… I never imagined one would be wearing a trench coat, or that my granddaughter would fall in love with one. I was so worried about her, afraid she'd get her heart broken even worse than it already was, afraid for her life and well-being…" Rose said watching Castiel as his blue eyes looked sadder than before.

"But I see it all perfectly now… you are entirely in love with her, just the same if not more than she loves you. My granddaughter is strong and she's a fighter, but at the end of the day no matter how strong she is… she's a 21 year old girl who has spent the last 2 years fighting and trying to save the world. No matter how much she loves you, or how much she wants to help with everything you're doing… she's human and still growing up, I think she just wants her own piece of the human experience." Rose told him.

"She's not human." Castiel said.

"Of course she is… she's my granddaughter I was there when she was born." Rose argued.

"She's more Nephilim than she is human now and she has stopped growing up… she'll stay forever as she is now." Castiel explained.

"What do you mean forever as she is?" Rose asked, her hazel eyes wide.

"She was supposed to die when the turned 21, but she fought her fate and she's not human anymore." Castiel said.

"So what happens if she dies?" Rose asked.

Castiel shrugged, "I guess the same thing that would happen to me. She was supposed to die and go to heaven but she gave up her chance for peace and to live forever in her own paradise."

"What? She gave up her shot at heaven?" Rose gasped, her eyes getting wider.

"What for? Why on earth would she give that all up?" Rose asked him.

Castiel looked away from Rose and shifted in his chair.

"You… she gave it all up so she could remain with you…" She voiced her conclusion out loud.

Rose closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh, "Oh Addison." She breathed out, her sadness showing her voice as she shook her head back and forth.

* * *

><p><strong>AN-**_** I hope you all liked the chapter, thank you so much for reading.**_

_**On my profile is a link to my Polyvore account where I make sets to go along with this story and some of my others.**_

_**Are you all as excited as I am? New Supernatural tonight, plus the return of Castiel and Crowley. I'm really worried about what Naomi has been doing to Cas!**_

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know if you're still reading. Your reviews all mean so much to me, even if it's just a few lines... your support means more to me than you know. ^_^**


	37. Friends

**Part Thirty Seven.**

"I believe that if a man wanted to walk on water, and was prepared to give up everything in life, he could do it._" _

_~Stirling Moss  
><em>

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><p>A few hours later Addison woke up and looked around the living room, she was alone. Slowly she stood up wrapped the blanket around her, walked down to the spare room she always slept in at her grandma's house and grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants from the closet.<p>

She took a shower and washed all the blood off of her, wincing every time she had to move the arm where the angel blade had been stuck in her shoulder blade.

The broken bone had already healed, but she was still sore.

After getting out she towel dried her hair and pulled it up into a bun, she headed back to the living room and saw her grandma sitting in a chair.

"You look a lot better." Rose said, smiling at her.

"I'm still pretty weak." Addison admitted.

"Where's Cas?" Addison questioned.

Rose had a slightly confused look on her face as she spoke, "Watching T.V. in the back family room."

Addison smiled and shook her head, "Yeah, he's grown fond of television over the past few years."

"You seemed to know what to do when that blade was stuck in your back..." Rose said as she took a drink from her cup of hot tea.

"It's the 2nd time I've been stabbed by one… I don't know what it's made out of but I think it would kill about anything. With angels and me, when it breaks the skin it's the most intense burning feeling that spreads over the entire area." Addison admitted.

"And Castiel had to… put pressure on the last one to?" Rose asked her.

"He'd never hurt me, and I know he feels so bad when he has to do that. I try so hard not to yell out, but eventually the pain jut get so bad I can't help but cry out in pain. And try to get away… the pain is worse than actually being stabbed by one of the angel blades." Addison told her.

"So you've got an eternity of this to look forward to?" Rose asked her.

Addison looked at her confused.

"Castiel told me that you're not human anymore… you're not going to die and go to heaven." Rose admitted.

"Yeah…" Addison said nodding.

"You're so smart, and I've always trusted your judgment on things because you've always been so strong and wise beyond your years. But honey, you are 21 years old… I know that you love him and it's obvious he loves you back, but I just have to ask why you'd give up an eternity of peace in heaven…" Rose asked, taking another small drink from her glass.

"At the time I didn't know that's what I was doing…" Addison admitted, as she explained about the woods and feeling the intense pain and choosing to not go into the light.

"So you had no idea you were setting yourself up for all of this?" Rose gasped.

"Nope." Addison admitted.

"Well, you have access to heaven… is there someone you could talk to about this?" Rose asked.

Addison stifled a laugh, "Heaven doesn't work that way grandma."

"There must be something you can do, you didn't know what you were signing up for." Rose said.

Castiel stood, leaned against the wall at the end of the hallway just outside of the living room listening to them.

Addison's face twisted in a slight look of pain.

"You think I don't want this?" She questioned.

"Why would you? You're not going to get a break… no rest, look at everything you've had to deal with in the short time you've been alive. And all you've got to look forward to is thousands of years of the same struggles and pain." Rose pointed out.

"No… that's not all I have to look forward to. I've got Cas." Addison told her.

"You're so young, and while you love him now… how do you know in 30 years that thing won't change?" Rose asked.

"Grandma, no offense but you don't understand the way these angel things work. I'm never going to want anyone else, every fiber of our beings has been fused together… I will love him just as much as I do right now until the end of time. And same with him, he will never love anyone else." Addison assured her.

"I don't understand a bit of this." Rose agreed.

"All that you need to understand is that even with the pain, beside him is where I'd willingly choose to spend eternity." Addison said.

"So knowing everything that you know now, if you were back in that woods and had the option to change what happened, would you do the exact same thing?" Rose asked.

"No." Addison said, looking her grandmother in the eyes.

"Oh Addy…" Rose said shaking her head back and forth.

Cas looked down at the floor and started to turn and walk back down the hallway but stopped when he heard her start to talk again.

"If I could go back and change things, I wouldn't have even spent a second going towards the light. I would have immediately turned around and ran the other way, away from the light and not wasted another second away from him." Addison said her voice strong and sure as she spoke.

Rose took a deep breath and nodded her head.

"He is the most important thing to me…" Addison admitted as she grabbed the floral design fleece throw off the back of the couch and wrapped it around herself.

He waited a few minutes before he walked into the living room with them.

"Hey." Addison said as she smiled at him.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." He told her, as he sat down on the couch with her.

She scooted over closer to him and leaned against his side; he slid his arm around her and held her against him.

Rose stared at them for almost 5 minutes before she smiled and said, "I'm going to head to bed, goodnight you two."

"Night grandma." Addison called after her.

After she heard her grandma's bedroom door shut she looked up at Cas.

"I am so sorry I said I wanted a break from you… I never want to be away from you. I was just upset because you hid the fact that Sam was alive from me." Addison admitted.

"I should have told you." He said.

Pausing, he took a deep breath and was getting ready to tell her the truth about the deal he had entered with Crowley to open Purgatory.

"It's not important, you're right, the war we're fighting has been coming first. I know you would have eventually told me. It's okay." She said, leaning up and kissing him.

As she pulled the blanket father up around herself and readjusted against his side, he tightened his arm around her and stared down at her in disbelief; she trusted him again.

**~(8 months later)~**

It had been over a year since Addison had been with Castiel in heaven fighting the civil war.

Addison and Castiel looked around at the 7 dead angels around them on the ground.

"Do you think this war is ever going to end?" Addison asked him.

"It has to, eventually it will come down to us and Raphael. We will all take our final stand." He told her.

She nodded.

"Are you alright?" He asked her.

"I'm just tired is all." She told him.

"You should sleep." He said.

She smiled to herself, "I mean like tired of fighting a war… not the kind of tired that a nap will fix."

He was silent as he looked back down to the dead angels.

Reaching up she placed her hand on the side of his face, the same strong wave flowed through them both.

Leaning down he pressed a kiss to her lips.

"I'm going to my heaven… you coming?" She asked,

"I'll be there soon." He told her.

"Okay." She said with a soft smile as she leaned up and kissed him.

Addison looked around her apartment in her heaven and waited for Cas, but close to 20 minutes later there was no sign of him.

Focusing on him, she ported to him.

Addison looked around the hotel room and to Dean as he was talking to Cas.

"He really took one for the team, remember that? Then he comes back without a clue and you can't give him 5 freaking minutes to give him an answer?" Dean asked, referring to Sam who was sitting at the table.

"If I had any answers, I might have responded but I don't know, Sam." Castiel said.

"We have no idea who brought you back from the cage, or why." Castiel said.

"It wasn't God?" Sam asked.

"No one's even seen God, the whole thing remains mysterious." Castiel answered.

"What the hell does that mean?" Sam asked him.

"What part of _I don't know_ escapes your understanding?" Castiel asked taking a step towards Sam.

"Whoa, what he is trying to say is no one in heaven knows why you're resurrected, Sam. Cas is a bit on edge because we are in the middle of fighting a war." Addison said, finally making her presence known.

Sam and Dean both looked at her, their eyes wide.

"Hi guys." She said smiling at them.

"You're alive?" Dean asked.

"Yeah… I managed to survive my birthday." Addison said, looking back and forth between them.

"Why are you here?" Castiel questioned, looking at her.

"You were supposed to meet me 20 minutes ago." Addison informed him, an eyebrow raised.

"I got called away, Dean prayed to me." Castiel told her.

"Yeah… umm, I kind of gathered that." Addison said nodding.

"Cas, look… if Sam calls, you answer." Dean said.

Addison looked back at Dean, "We are currently in the middle of a war in heaven."

"Looking at Dean, Castiel said "You think I came because you called? No, I came because of this."

Dean watched as he picked up the glass jar with the locust they had collected on their case.

"Well, it's nice to know what matters." Dean responded.

"It does help one to focus." Cas said.

"Wait, so you and the halo patrol aren't the cause of these killings?" Sam asked.

"Why would we killing off humans? We've got bigger issues at the moment." Addison said, as she took the jar of bugs from Cas and looked at it.

"I believe these were committed with one of our weapons. There's only one thing that could have brought this to existence." Castiel told them as he looked over the police photos and records of the crimes.

"The staff of Moses, we've been searching for it along with a few other weapons." Addison informed the room.

"It was used in a dominance display against the Egyptians, as I recall." Castiel said as he took the jar of bugs back from Addison.

"I thought the staff turned a river into blood, not one dude." Sam said, confused.

"It's either been broken into smaller pieces or just not used to full capacity." Addison said with a nod.

"Then, I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect." Castiel said, entirely honest as he looked at Addison.

She raised her eyebrows, "Yup… I think so."

"What is Chuck Hestons disco stick doing down here anyways? Don't you guys put away your toys?" Dean asked them.

"Before the apocalypse heaven may have been corrupt, but it was stable. The staff and other weapons were safely contained. It's been chaos up there." Castiel told the brothers.

"In all the confusion… several weapons have gone missing. We've been trying to track them down, but like I said we're in the middle of a war." Addison went on to explain.

Dean looked back and forth between them, "So your nukes are loose?" He asked.

"I'm afraid so." Castiel said.

Taking a breath Cas said, "But you've stumbled onto one of them, we must find the weapon that did this. We need your help."

"That's rich, really." Sam said, irritated that Castiel didn't help when he called to him.

Throwing the glass jar of bugs to Sam, Castiel said "Sam, Dean, my people skills are rusty. Pardon me, but I have spent the last year as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent."

"What?" Dean asked confused.

Addison sighed, "Over the past year we have only been back to earth a handful of times. Castiel's communication skills have reverted back to the way they were when we first met him."

"You do not want this weapon down here, help me find it or more people will die." Castiel said, and then looked over at Addison.

"Please, guys?" She questioned looking back and forth between them.

"Well, if the angels didn't pull the trigger then that brings us back to motive." Dean said as he walked back over to the table.

"What?" Castiel asked confused.

"It means back to the case… they're going to help us." Addison said as she smiled and patted Cas's arm.

Sam and Dean explained that the only link between all of the mysterious deaths was that 3 cops were involved in a shooting of a suspect.

Cas and Addison ported Sam and Dean with them to the house that the father of the shooting victim lived in.

"Cas, a little warning next time." Dean complained.

A man looked up from the couch startled at the group of 4 now standing in his living room.

"How'd you get in here?" He questioned.

"Mr. Birch, settle down. Federal agents." Sam said displaying a fake badge.

"But you can't just walk in here." Mr. Birch said.

"Quite a collection of newspaper clippings you've got here." Addison observed as she eyed the contents on the coffee table.

"What are you getting at?" He asked her.

"Look, we know the truth, all right? Chris didn't have a gun on him when those cops shot him." Sam said.

"Yeah, they're all getting theirs." Mr. Birch said.

"Who's giving it to them, Daryl?" Sam asked Mr. Birch.

"Daryl? Did you kill Toby Gray and those others?" Dean asked him.

"Me? I didn't kill anyone. Look at how they died." Mr. Birch explained.

"You smote them with the staff of Moses." Castiel accused.

"Uh… a little too early…" Addison breathed out looking at Cas.

"What the hell kind of fed are you?" Mr. Birch asked him.

"We don't have time for this, where is it?" Castiel said as he walked up to Daryl.

"Leave my dad alone." A young boy said from behind them

They all turned around to see him pointing a piece of the staff at them.

"Is that it?" Dean asked.

"Yes." Castiel said.

"Shouldn't it be bigger?" Sam asked.

"Yes…it's been sawed off." Castiel said.

"Leave him alone, it wasn't him." The little boy said, keeping the piece of the staff pointed at them.

"Aaron, get out of here…" Mr. Birch started to say but Castiel placed 2 fingers on his head and he fell ask on the couch.

"What did you do to him?" The boy asked, fear in his eyes.

"He's just sleeping." Dean tried to comfort him.

Addison ported herself across the room and plucked the staff from the kid's hands.

"Got it, Cas." She exclaimed holding onto it.

"Addison!" Dean said, as he saw the little boy was so scared.

"What? I didn't hurt the kid." Addison said, looking at him.

"Listen, we're not here to hurt you, okay? But we need to know where did you get this thing?" Dean asked as he took a few steps towards them.

Castiel crossed the room and Addison handed him the piece of the staff.

"Please, don't kill my dad." The boy pleaded.

"We're not going to kill anyone… where did you get this?" Addison asked, as she pointed to the staff Cas was now holding.

"What' your name?" Dean asked him.

"Aaron Birch." He admitted.

"Okay, Aaron Birch, where did you get this?" Dean questioned.

"You won't believe me." He defended.

"Try me." Dean said.

"It was an angel." Aaron admitted to them.

"Those cops, they're liars they killed my brother and nothing bad even happened to them, it's not fair. So I prayed to god every night that he would punish them. God didn't answer me but he did." Aaron said.

Addison leaned over to Cas who was standing beside her.

"Who the hell would be giving our weapons to children?" She asked.

"His name, did he give you his name?" Castiel asked the boy.

"No, he just said I could get justice." Aaron admitted.

Aaron explained that the angel traded him the stick for his soul.

"You sold your soul to an angel?" Addison asked and looked at Aaron confused.

"It's never happened before." Castiel said as he looked at her.

"If an angel is buying souls that could explain why he cut the staff up into pieces." Castiel went on to explain.

"We'll find out." Castiel said as he placed 2 fingers on Aarons head and knocked him out.

"What did you do that for?" Dean asked him.

"Portability." Castiel responded.

Addison stepped up between Sam and Dean, "Let's go guys." She said as she ported them with her to the hotel room.

Sam and Dean looked around the room.

"You've gotten really strong…" Dean observed about her abilities.

"She's no longer human." Castiel told them as he laid the boy down on the bed.

"Wait… what?" Dean asked her.

"When I defied death, I woke up more Nephilim than human… I hardly need to eat, can get by with just a couple hour of sleep a week, and I'm a lot more powerful." She explained.

"You realize Cas just kidnapped a kid." Dean said to her.

"I'm aware of that… it was necessary." Addison answered.

"It was necessary to kidnap a kid? Do you hear yourself? You're starting to talk like him." Dean pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I told you I've barely been to earth at all this past year." She reminded him.

"If the angel we seek truly bought this boys soul… when a claim is laid on a living soul it leaves a mark, a brand." Castiel told them.

"Like a shirt tag at summer camp?" Sam asked about the mark.

Addison shrugged and Castiel said, "I have no idea."

"But I can read the mark and find the name of the angel who bought the soul." Castile explained what he was going to do.

"How?" Dean asked.

"Painfully for him, the reading will be excruciating." Castiel said as he started to roll up his sleeve.

"Whoa, wait. It's a kid." Dean argued.

Castiel looked at him as he continued to roll his sleeve up.

"Sam?" Dean asked looking to his brother.

Sam shrugged.

"Addison? You can't think it's okay to let him do this… to hurt a kid." Dean said, trying to gain someone's support against the idea.

"We have to know who is selling the weapons, I'm sorry." She said, with a sympathetic look in her eyes as she looked to Aaron lying on the bed.

"I'm all for that, but there has to be another way." Dean argued.

"There is no other way." Castiel said, his voice dry as he spoke.

"You're going to torture a kid?" Dean asked looking at him in disbelief.

"I can't care about that, Dean." Castiel said.

"Come on." Dean said looking around the room.

Putting her hand on Dean's arm Addison said, "We don't have the luxury of caring about it… like I said, it's war."

He looked at her shaking his head not believing he was the only one in the room against hurting the kid.

Castiel looked at Aaron one more time, before sliding his hand into the boy's stomach.

Aaron's body shook and he screamed out in pain.

Dean started to walk up to Cas, but Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

Castiel pulled his hand out after getting the information he needed.

Addison crossed the room and placed her hand on the boys head; slowly he stopped moving and fell back into a deep sleep.

"He'll rest now." She said, looking to Dean.

"Did you get the name?" Addison asked him.

"I thought he had died in the war…" Castiel said.

"Was he a friend or something?" Sam questioned.

"A good friend." Castiel said.

"Your frat buddy is now moonlighting as a crossroads demon." Dean said.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Thank you for reading! I hope you all really enjoyed the update.**

**How did everyone like last weeks episode of Supernatural? I loved it!**

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know that you're still reading and interested in the story. Even if it's just a few lines to let me know you're still reading.**


	38. Heaven's Weapons

**Part Thirty Eight.**

"If we don't end war, war will end us._" _

_~H.G Wells  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Who is the angel who holds the lease on Aaron's soul?" Addison asked Castiel.<p>

"Balthazar." Castiel told her.

"Who?" She asked, not recognizing the name.

"You never met him." Castiel informed her.

"So we can find him now, right?" Sam asked them.

"Balthazar. Thanks Castiel, we'll make good use of the name." An angel said who appeared in the room with them.

Sam and Dean jumped back out of the way when the angel lunged towards Castiel with his angel blade drawn.

Castiel immediately pulled out his angel blade in defense.

Addison started towards them but an angel appeared in front of her and she drew her angel blade. After a short struggle she killed her angel and looked over in time to see the angel who attacked Castiel said, "By the way, Raphael says hello."

Her eyes widened as the angel managed to knock Castiel's angel blade from his hand, and pulled 2 of his own out.

The angel started towards Cas who was unarmed.

"No!" Addison screamed as she darted across the room, and grabbed the angel.

She started to use her power on him, but he grabbed her by the throat and ran full speed towards the window.

Knowing he was going to throw her from the window and then go after Cas, she grabbed onto his arms tightly.

In his attempt the throw her out of the window, she pulled him out with her.

They fell through the air and she closed her eyes bracing herself for the landing.

She landed flat on her back on the top of Sam's new Charger that was parked under the window.

Addison groaned in pain as she felt her spine break in several different spots from the landing.

Slowly sitting up she saw the other angel disappear.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asked as he appeared on the sidewalk by the car.

"Yeah, but he got away." Addison said, as she started to slide off the car.

Castiel grabbed her hand and pulled her the rest of the way until she landed on her feet.

Closing her eyes and ignoring the pain she straightened her stance, wincing as her bones all snapped back into place.

Looking up she saw Sam and Dean staring out of the window at them in shock.

Cas and Addison ported themselves back into the hotel room with Sam and Dean.

"He's gone." Castiel informed the brothers.

"How is your back not broken?" Dean asked, staring at Addison wide eyed.

"It was… several different places actually." She said as she tilted her neck from side to side, snapping the rest of her bones back into place.

Sam and Dean cringed at the sound and stared at her.

"Who was that guy?" Sam asked.

"A soldier of Raphael." Castiel answered.

Sam and Dean watched as Addison and Castiel started to search the cabinets of the room.

"He must have followed me when I answered your call." Castiel told them.

"Raphael the archangel?" Sam asked them.

"Yeah… there's a heavy price on our heads." Addison explained as she pulled a large metal bowl from the cabinet.

"You more so than mine now, he just wants me dead; but he wants to use you as a weapon." Castiel said as he took the bowl from her and sat it down on the table.

"Yeah, I got the memo from the last 20 angels that came after me." Addison said.

"What is going on here?" Sam asked, as Castiel pulled a bag of their supplies from under the bed and took the bottle of holy water along with a few other ingredients out.

"I can explain later." Castiel said.

"No, not later… now. Stop, all right? There's too many angels. I don't know who's on first, what's on second." Dean said, confused.

"What is second?" Castiel questioned.

"Don't start that." Dean said.

"It is simple, Raphael and his followers they want him to rule heaven. Addison, I and many others don't. The last thing we want is for him to take over. It would be catastrophic." Castiel explained.

"We have to find Balthazar and his weapons before Raphael does. Whoever has the weapons wins the war." Castiel said as he started to draw on the table with chalk.

"What happens if Raphael wins?" Dean questioned.

"To end the story the way it was written." Castiel explained.

"The apocalypse." Addison clarified at seeing Sam and Dean's confused expressions.

"He wants to put it back on the rails." Castiel went onto explain.

"We need myrrh." Castiel said.

"Myrr? On it." Addison said as she ported herself out of the hotel.

Moments later she returned, "I checked Africa and India, finally found some in Somalia." She said as she handed the container to Castiel.

Dean and Sam looked at her still shocked at how much stronger she had gotten.

"Why didn't you guys tell us that he's trying to restart the friggin apocalypse?" Dean asked them.

"I was ashamed… I expected more from my brothers." Castiel said, a look of shame and hurt on his face.

"I'm sorry." He told them.

"It's not your fault." Addison said, as she placed her hand on his.

Castiel looked over, locking eyes with her as he slowly nodded his head.

"Here." She said as she picked up a knife and handed it to Cas.

"I need your blood." Castiel said, as he grabbed Dean's arm and cut the palm of his hand letting his blood drip in the bowl.

"Why don't you use your own?" He asked Addison through gritted teeth; he saw her hand Castiel the knife.

"We're not human… it won't work." Addison responded.

As he added the myrrh to the blood, and then topped the mixture off with the holy water as he said the locating spell.

The contents of the bowl started to smoke and they heard sirens approaching in the distance.

"How long does this spell take?" Sam questioned.

"Not too long." Addison answered as she watched Cas intently.

"Got him… lets go." Castiel said moments later.

"Whoa, whoa. Wait, what about him?" Dean asked.

"The police will take him home." Castiel responded.

They ported outside of a large mansion, the group of four slowly made their way across the yard.

"What?" Addison whispered as she looked over to Dean who kept staring at her.

"You're just… acting a lot like him." Dean said nodding towards Castiel.

"Well, Dean… he's the only one I've been around for an entire year and I've been fighting the civil war in heaven." She answered.

"Come on." Castiel instructed them as he opened a door and went inside of the house.

Castiel ported himself to an upstairs room.

"Okay… pour the ring of oil." Addison said as she handed Dean a glass bottle of holy oil.

Taking a knife she cut into the palm of her hand and drew an angel banishing sigil on the outside of the mansion.

"Obviously you guys know what to do with this, you're the ones who taught me. As long as Cas is inside it shouldn't port him away. And be careful." She said as she started to turn away.

"Wait, where are you going?" Dean asked her, as he looked down to the bottle of holy oil and up at the blood spell on the wall.

"With Cas." She admitted.

"Wait, what are you… like glued to his side now?" Dean asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"Super glued." Addison responded with a sigh, before Dean had chance to answer she appeared in the room with Cas and Balthazar.

She looked to the man she hadn't seen before as he stared at her.

"Why aren't you dead?" He questioned, walking away from the large piano he had been standing by.

"What a greeting." Addison retorted.

"She's past her 21st birthday." Balthazar said to Castiel.

Cas nodded and looked over at her.

"No Nephilim is supposed to make it past their 21st birthday…" He said as he walked closer to Addison.

She stood her ground and looked at him, "Well, I guess I'm not like the others."

"There is a reason they don't live long… they become a much too powerful burden that needs to be put down." Balthazar said.

"No." Castiel said, his voice gruff as he looked at him.

"I know your orders were to protect her, but you tore the script up yourself Cas. You don't have to follow orders anymore." Balthazar reminded him.

"You're not killing her." Castiel told him.

Hearing a noise in the other room, they forgot about their current conversation and moved into the other room.

They didn't see anything, and Balthazar looked back to Cas.

Sam and Dean entered the room, looking down to see Balthazar had walked right into the middle of where they had poured the holy oil in a circle.

"We need to kill her before she kills all of us… if Raphael gets her, he will use her as a weapon against us all!" Balthazar explained.

Stepping in front of Addison, Castiel looked at him, "I said you're not going to kill her."

Sam and Dean looked over to her.

"Cas…" Balthazar started to argue more, but Castiel cut him off.

His voice loud and gruff as he spoke "I said no."

Balthazar looked between them.

"Cas… come on, you didn't." Balthazar said shaking his head back and forth in disbelief.

"Didn't what?" Dean questioned.

Balthazar looked over to them.

"Fused on all 4 levels, your hairless ape." Balthazar said.

"Fused on all 4 levels?" Dean asked, with raised eyebrows as he looked around the room at everyone.

"How'd you manage to plan it all out Nephilim?" He questioned.

She looked at him confused for a minute before realizing what he meant, "You're implying that I planned this all out?"

"Of course… get an angel to fall for you, fused to you so he'd die to protect you. It keeps you alive…" Balthazar explained his way of thinking.

"I didn't even know what this fusing-merging crap was about until it had already happened." Addison stated her voice dry.

"Convenient." He retorted.

"She is telling the truth." Castiel defended.

"Nephilim… more insidious than they look." He said.

"You're completely ridiculous… you don't even know me." Addison said, stepping forward past Cas.

"Knowing you is insignificant…" Balthazar started to say, but Castiel cut him off.

"Enough. You stole the staff of Moses." Castiel said to him.

"Sure… I stole a lot of things." Balthazar admitted.

"I know you, you're not some common thief." Castiel responded.

"Common; no. Thief… ehh." He said, tilting his head to the side.

"I need your help." Castiel told him.

"I know, I've been hearing all about you. As far as I'm concerned you and me Cas, nothing has changed. Regardless of what kind of vermin you choose to conjugate with" Balthazar told him.

"Oh, I'm sorry… what was it you said a few moments ago? Oh yeah, that's right that I have the potential to kill you… so I'd watch who you're calling vermin." Addison said through gritted teeth.

"I'm well-armed… you try anything and I will kill you." Balthazar warned.

"No you won't." Castiel said, his tone stern.

"We need the weapons back that you stole." Addison said, ignoring her urge to continue bickering with him.

"No." Balthazar said.

"It's civil war up there." Castiel argued.

"I know." He replied, un-phased.

"If we can beat Raphael we can end this, just give me the weapons." Castiel tried to reason.

"You know what's funny about you? You actually think you can stop the fighting… it will never stop." Balthazar said.

Walking forward Dean lit the oil on fire.

Balthazar spun in a circle and looked around at the flames.

"Holy oil? Release me!" He demanded.

"So... what were you saying about those weapons?" Addison asked with a smirk.

A loud clap of thunder shook the room.

"Was that you?" Balthazar questioned, looking to Castiel.

"No." Castiel responded.

"Raphael." Addison breathed out.

"Raphael is here? Now?" Dean asked her.

"Get to the outside wall with the blood spell." Addison told them.

Looking over at Cas she said, "I'm going to make sure they make it outside."

He nodded and she ported outside.

There was a fight with the angels, but finally Addison managed to kill 2 of them, and Dean made it to the wall with the blood spell and banished the others.

"Let's go." She said as she opened the door and ran inside of the house with Dean and Sam behind her.

Addison gasped as she saw Raphael kick Castiel down a large flight of stairs, she looked back at Sam and Dean before racing to where Castiel and Raphael were.

After hitting Castiel hard enough to bring him to his knees, Raphael raised an angel blade.

"Stop it!" Addison shrieked.

"Or what?" Raphael questioned, looking back to her.

Addison looked to Castiel who was still down on his knees bleeding from his mouth and nose.

"You will kill yourself if you try to kill me…" He pointed out.

She swallowed hard.

"You're a valuable asset. I'm giving you the option to run...or die with him." Raphael said.

Addison franticly looked around the room.

"Don't be stupid, Addison… working for me is better than dying." Raphael said.

Addison glanced back and Sam and Dean who stood powerless watching the scene play out.

She shook her head back and forth.

"Addison, go." Castiel said, looking at her with sad eyes.

Her eyes locked with his and she took a few steps backwards, glancing at Raphael one more time before she disappeared from the room.

Landing in her heaven she pulled the trunk out from under her bed and grabbed the salt crystal porting herself immediately back into the room.

"Somehow, I don't think God will be bringing you back this time." Raphael said as he lifted the angel blade above Castiel.

"Raphael… I did warn you to stop." Addison said.

Raphael looked over his shoulder his eyes widened at seeing the salt crystal.

"No!" He yelled.

But his vessel had already started to turn into salt, as the body crumbled into a pile of salt on the floor.

Castiel looked at her confused as he looked down to the crystal in her hand.

"I thought you left." Castiel said, as he rose to his feet, still bleeding from his face.

"You should have known I wasn't going to abandon you." She said as she walked up to him.

"Did that kill him?" Dean questioned.

Balthazar who was still in the ring of fire said, "No, but Raphael will have to go shopping for a new vessel… should buy quite a bit of time."

"Where did you get that?" Balthazar questioned looking at the salt crystal.

"What? Think you're the only one who saw the need to stock up on weapons of heaven? I've been doing some pillaging of my own." She admitted to the room.

She looked around the room, everyone's eyes were on her.

"No rules, no holds barred… this is war." Addison said.

"You sound like a teenager with delusions of grandeur." Balthazar told her.

"Hmm, wanna know what you sound like?" Addison asked.

"Addison." Castiel said as he looked at her.

He reached down and took the salt crystal from her, sliding it into the pocket on his trench coat.

"Now, release me." Balthazar ordered.

"First, you're taking your marker off Aaron Birches soul." Dean said.

"Am I?" Balthazar asked.

"Sam!" Dean yelled.

"Unless you like your wings extra crispy… I'd think about it." Sam said displaying the container with the rest of the holy oil.

"Castiel, I stood for you in heaven…" Balthazar reminded him.

"I believe the hairless apes have the floor." Castiel responded, as he glanced down to Addison.

With no other option Balthazar was forced to release the contract on the boys soul.

"Why are you buying up human souls anyways?" Addison asked him.

"In this economy? Probably the only thing worth buying." Balthazar retorted.

"Do you have any idea what souls are worth? What power they possess?" He asked.

"Now release me." Balthazar said.

Castiel raised his hand and lowered it, putting out the flames as he did.

Once Balthazar disappeared, Addison looked to Castiel "Are you alright?" She asked him.

"Yes… thank you." He said.

She smiled.

"What was Balthazar taking about you guys fusing together?" Sam asked looking at them as he walked up to them.

"We've merged and fused on all 4 levels." Castiel told them.

Addison looked over at Castiel.

"What 4 levels?" Dean questioned looking back and forth between them.

"It's difficult to understand, the short version is she is my mate." Castiel told them.

"I wasn't aware angels could have mates." Sam said, with a raised eyebrow.

"It's extremely rare." Addison said.

"So… how did you two merge on all these levels?" Dean asked, looking at them.

Addison felt her cheeks darken at their questions.

"It involves many steps. The first one involves us falling in love as we were when we first met. The second, is a bit harder; I had to fall, which is what happened when I was cut off from heaven for rebelling. And as humans we had to…" Castiel was explaining.

"Cas!" Addison said, cutting him off before he revealed anymore of their personal life.

Castiel looked at her and sighed at seeing the look on her face, "I am sorry. I was just trying to explain it."

"The short version would have sufficed… you are oversharing." Addison said, shaking her head back and forth.

Dean looked at her, and let out a small laugh at seeing her red cheeks.

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><p><strong>AN- Thank you for reading. I really hope you all liked the chapter. ^_^**

**I would really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know that you're still reading. **

**On my profile is a link to my Polyvore account where I make banners and sets to go along with story and a few of my other fics. ^_^**

**If you're still reading and enjoying the story please don't be a silent reader. I appreciate each and every review so much and you guys are my inspiration to keep writing and sharing my work on this site.**


	39. Missing So Much

**Part Thirty Nine.**

"_To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." _

_~Oscar Wilde  
><em>

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><p><strong>~(AN- Disclaimer: This chapter is really where the 'M' rating of this story comes into play. There is a detailed scene with sexual acts…)~**

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><p>"There you are." Addison said as she closed her sketch book and dropped it to the floor beside the bed and rose up to look at Castiel.<p>

He looked over at her.

"It was risky to pull the salt crystal on Raphael." He informed her.

"You're still going on about that? Cas, it was 2 days ago…" Addison complained as she scooted back and leaned against the pillows on the bed in her heaven.

"It is one of heavens most powerful weapons… you weren't entirely sure how to use it, what if you had turned yourself into salt?" He questioned.

"Then I guess your kitchen would be stocked for life." She responded with a sigh.

"That is not funny." He said, shaking his head.

"I know… I'm sorry, this not being around human thing is killing my ability to make funny jokes…" She said.

"I wasn't even aware you had been stealing weapons." He said as he walked over and stood by the windows.

"I wasn't stealing them… I was simply gathering the ones I could find and keeping them for us so no other angel could use them." She explained.

"But pulling the salt crystal on Raphael…" Castiel started to argue but she cut him off.

"Was brilliant, okay? I destroyed his meat suit… saved you and guess what? We all made it out alive." She told him.

"You could have easily turned yourself in salt." He restated his concern.

Sighing she climbed off the bed and crossed the room.

"I couldn't let Raphael kill you." Addison said, as she leaned against the window and faced him.

"I know." He said with a nod.

"So then why are we still fighting about this?" She asked, as she crossed her arm over her chest.

"Because I want you to stop taking foolish risks." He stated bluntly.

"Oh Cas…" Addison said as she breathed out a heavy sigh.

"What?" He asked her.

"It's not nice to call me a fool." She said with an eyebrow arched at him.

"I wasn't implying that you're a fool." He said, his tone flat.

"Pretty much." She argued.

"Addison, I did not call you a fool." He said, as he looked past her out the window.

"You said I'm taking foolish risks… meaning that you think I'm a fool for taking these risks." She argued back.

"You're twisting my words." He said.

"No, you're just being mean. I don't know why you even bother picking fights about these things, you know when it comes down to it, I will do everything I can to save you." She argued.

"But at the cost of your own life…" He cut in not letting her finish her sentence.

"Small price to pay." She said, looking at him.

"Addison." He said, shaking his head back and forth.

"I don't have a choice… just like Raphael pointed out the worst thing he could do to you would be to kill me, that works vice-versa to." She reminded him.

She saw his jaw tense in anger and she closed her eyes and sighed.

"I don't like this… we're always fighting. We've never been at each other's throats this much." She pointed out.

"I don't like it either." He answered, looking to her.

"I miss you, Cas." She admitted, biting down on the inside of her cheek.

"We spend time together daily." He told her.

"Not what I meant." Addison said shaking her head back and forth.

He kept looking out of the window.

"For the life of me, I don't why we always stare out of these windows… the view never changes." Addison remarked. It was the truth; they always stood and looked out of the windows in the apartment in her heaven.

"A change of scenery would be nice. Maybe some trees instead of buildings." He observed.

Addison looked at his serious expression and smiled as she shook her head.

"And maybe daylight, I'd prefer to see the sun." He went on.

"Geez, I get the point… you don't like my heaven." She said as he continued on about what he would change.

He looked over at the expression on her face and said, "If you didn't want to know what I'd change, why did you bring it up?"

She opened her mouth to talk, but then stopped and laughed.

"What?" He questioned, turning sideways and facing her.

"I don't know… we just aren't the least bit normal, we don't even have normal fights… we fight over how my heaven should look, and about me using heaven's weapons." She said, still laughing quietly.

"We are not human." He reminded her.

She laughed even harder as she held onto her stomach.

"Why do you keep laughing?" He asked.

"And you… you just… you're so funny and you don't even mean to be! I just love it, I try but I can't stay mad at you." She said, as she still laughed.

"You try to stay mad at me?" He questioned, confused.

"No… it's like a figure of speech." She said as she shook her head and was finally able to control her laughing.

"Come on Cas, don't you miss me?" She asked still leaned against the floor to ceiling window facing him.

"I see you all the time." He told her.

"That is not what I mean." She complained.

"Then I don't understand." He admitted.

"Have you really been away from humanity for so long that I am seriously going to have spell this out for you?" She asked taking a few steps closer.

"How can I miss you if I am not away from you?" He asked, still confused.

Facing him Addison grabbed the front sides of his open trench coat and said, "I mean… I really, really miss you… I miss us… I miss a lot of things."

He looked at her still confused.

Sighing she turned and pushed him against the glass from the window.

"Addison…" He started to say confused at her actions.

"Let me rephrase… I miss you… all of you." She said, as she leaned up and pressed an urgent kiss to his lips.

Pulling back her eyes locked with his and he said, "I understand… I've missed you too."

She smiled and leaned back in pressing her body against his, his fingers tangled in her hair as he held her face to his, deepening their kiss.

Pushing his body against hers and away from the window, they backed up a few steps and she immediately got to work on pushing his trench coat from his shoulders and arms.

He already had his hands under her shirt, the feeling of her skin under his fingertips still amazed him even though over the past year he had touched her countless times; the feeling was still as intense and as exciting as the first time.

Breaking their kiss he looked her in the eyes, before leaning in and pressing another heated kiss to her damp lips before pulling her shirt up over her head.

His eyes scanned her upper body, immediately stopping his sights on the light teal bra she was wearing. He wanted it off of her; he still craved her more than he had ever felt he needed anything else.

Pulling her against him, he immediately reclaimed her mouth with his own. Addison smiled against his lips; she loved when he was the one taking control of the situation.

She pushed his black suit jacket off his arms and then let it fall to floor behind him. Her fingers got to work on unbuttoning his white shirt, and he rubbed his hand down her sides.

She moaned softly against his partially open mouth as she eagerly accepted the sweet invasion of his tongue in her mouth.

Wanting his bare skin against hers, she started to finish undoing the buttons on his shirt, but he reached behind her and unfastened her bra.

Leaning forward he kissed down her neck, shoulder and top of her arm as he pulled the straps down.

Taking a step backwards, he looked at her half-nude body and took in the site of her pale, firm flesh. His breathing hastened as he dropped her bra to the floor.

She smiled and shook her head, a small part of her still amazed at how much they loved each other. It didn't matter how many times they had shared these intimate moments before, every single time was just as special to them.

Stepping back and closing the space between them he open mouth kissed her, urgency and hungriness in his movements. It had been a while since the last time they had really got to spend time together.

In love or not, they were in the middle of a war and constantly having to watch their own and each other's back which hadn't left them a lot of time to enjoy each other's company.

But they were in her heaven, they were safe. No other angels could get in, so they were free to let their guards down and live in the moment.

She had only managed to unbutton about half the buttons on his shirt, when she felt his hand run down her bare upper body and then start to unfasten her jeans.

Addison was already half undressed, and Castiel was only missing a few articles of his clothing.

She pulled back breaking their kiss and grabbed his hands, stopping him as he was in the process of unzipping her jeans.

He stopped when she pulled on his hands but a slight look of frustration spread over his face.

She took her time slowly unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way, as she kept playfully glancing up at his blue eyes.

He watched her intently as every second passed while she stood in front of him, but the fact that he couldn't touch her was agonizing; he wanted to feel her under his hands.

As she unfastened the last button, she dropped her hands to her sides and looked at him, locking her gaze with his.

"I love you, Cas." She said, her light green eyes bore into his.

"I love you too." He replied a small smile on his lips as he thought of how much he loved her.

She watched his chest rise and fall heavily a few times before she reached forward and grabbed his tie, pulling on it and bringing his face back down to hers as she kissed across his jaw line before moving her mouth back up to his.

Immediately his hands were back on her, rubbing over the contours of her body before finding their way back to her partially unfastened jeans.

He started to pull back from the kiss to look down as he started to slide her snug jeans over her hips, but she tugged on the tie harder keeping his mouth against hers.

Rubbing his hands back up her body, he grabbed onto the sides of her face, keeping her face just as tight against his as he swept the inside of her mouth with his tongue.

Not breaking their kiss she undid his tie and let it fall to the side, and then pushed his shirt the rest of the way off of him.

She rested her palms against his now bare chest, and he resumed trying to pull her jeans down.

Running her fingertips down his stomach, she grabbed onto his hands again and laced her fingers with his as their tongues slow danced.

When she let go of his hands, he grabbed back onto her head deepening their kiss.

Reaching down between them she unfastened his belt and pants and pushed them down.

They moved a few steps allowing him to step out of his pants that had landed at his feet.

Cas put his hands on her hips and gently pushed her back, until she gasped as her back landed against the cold wall.

She immediately tried to move away from the coldness on her bare skin, but before she was able, his mouth was back on hers, his almost bare body against her, holding her against the cold wall.

She shivered slightly and wrapped her arms around him, it was only moments later that her jeans and underwear and his boxers joined the clothes strewn on one side of the room.

Leaning over her on the bed he kissed her, leaning up his blue eyes searched her face, tracing every single feature as she stared lovingly up at him.

Running his thumb over her bottom lip he continued to stare at her.

"What?" She questioned, her breathing still labored.

"Addison, you truly are beautiful." He said, smiling at her.

Her eyebrows rose at his words and she smiled.

"Really?" She asked, her light green eyes bore into his.

"Yes, if I didn't think so… I wouldn't have said it." He said honestly.

"It's just… you've never told me that before." She said.

His eyebrows pushed together, "I haven't?" He questioned.

"No… you've told me –my skin is soft and stuff… but you've just never said I was beautiful." She pointed out, not able to keep from smiling.

Reaching up she pulled his face back to hers and pressed her pink lips against his.

Adjusting the way they were laying on the bed, he settled between her legs and pressed another passionate kiss to her lips before he rose up and guided his manhood into her, filling her completely with one deep thrust.

She bit down on her bottom lip, moaning softly as her body arched up from the mattress as his body was now joined to hers.

Opening her eye she locked her sight with his, as he started to rock his hips against hers, both of them breathing heavily.

Moving in response she raised her hips from the mattress to accommodate his every thrust against her.

His mouth smashed against hers as he leaned down and captured her lips, still moving rhythmically with each other as her breathing grew shallow.

Pulling back and taking a few breathes she pulled his face back to hers, he pushed harder into her as she bit down lightly on his lip before she seductively slid her tongue in his mouth.

He welcomed the way her tongue felt like silk against his own, she wrapped her arms around his back, pulling his body down onto hers as she broke their kiss and fought for her breath.

Kissing down her neck and over to her shoulder, he ran his tongue and lips over her skin, stopping to breathe heavily and lightly suckle the skin on her neck.

She smiled as she held onto him even tighter, every masculine noise she heard by her ear almost sent her over the edge.

He raised his head from her neck and looked into her eyes, kissing her mouth once more, before he pressed a hot kiss to her shoulder.

His mouth hung open against her shoulder as he thrust harder into her causing her to dig her fingers into his back, desperately clutching onto him as she continued to fight for her breath.

With his body still heaving against hers, she felt his teeth lightly graze the tender skin on her shoulder as he was on the brink of release.

Addison's fingers dug farther into the firm flesh on his lean back, as he sank his body into hers at a rapid rate, before he groaned and his movements slowed but his every thrust into her was strong and deep.

She held him tight against her as he let out a louder, harsh groan and pushed into her harder than before as frenzied waves of splendor took him over and he pounded his body against her all the way through his climax.

Her head lifted from the pillow, and she rested her forehead against his shoulder as she felt his member pulsating inside of her.

She gasped and franticly clung onto him as it only took a few more deep, hard plunges into her before she moaned with intolerable pleasure and her head fell back on the pillow.

Her body shuddering and clenching around his still hard manhood as he continued the movement within her as she had her own explosion of ecstasy, he trailed kisses over her lips and the side of her face as she came.

Addison still shook slightly in Castiel's arms as her light green eyes met with his.

They lay under the dark purple and black sheet on the bed, as he leaned slightly over her and kissed her before lying back on the pillow, still breathing heavily.

She looked over to him, watching his pale bare chest rise and fall heavily as she touched her bottom lip, smiling softly as the feeling of his kiss still lingered on her lips.

**~(A week later)~**

Rose was sitting in her kitchen reading the newspaper when she heard the familiar ringtone of Addison's cellphone.

Laying the paper down on the table she crossed the kitchen to where her granddaughters phone was plugged into the wall on its charger.

Addison left her cellphone at her grandmother's house while she was in heaven, because she had no use for it.

Rose unplugged it from the charger and answered the call, "Hello?"

The other end was silent.

"Hello?" She said, her voice louder.

"Mom?" A male voice said.

"You have the wrong number." Rose said, but as she was about to end the call her eyes widened.

"No! Mom, please don't hang up! It's me Grant… you've got Addy's phone? Please tell me she's okay." He said, his voice panicked.

"My son is dead." Rose hissed into the phone.

"I was… Julia and I got attacked by these people… with black eyes. We went to heaven together, I don't know how long we've been dead but we just woke up in a park in Greenwood, Indiana… is Addy okay?" He asked.

Rose was silent, there was no mistaking it. The voice on the other end of the phone was without a doubt her son's voice.

"This is impossible." She breathed out.

She heard the phone being moved around and then heard someone take a deep breath.

"Rose, it's Julia. When we were attacked, the men who came were trying to find Addison. Please, tell me she's okay… I just have to know that she's alright." Julia said.

Rose closed her eyes as tears stung them, the woman sounded exactly like her daughter-in-laws voice. Every ounce of pain and terror sounded genuine.

"I was at your funeral." Rose said.

"Is Addison okay?" Julia asked again, fearing the worst.

"I'm not going to discuss this over the phone, I believe you can see how I'm having a hard time to believe that my dead son and wife just appeared after being dead for over 2 years." Rose said, keeping her voice like stone even though she had tears running down her cheeks.

"2 years? Oh my god…" Julia said in disbelief.

"Here's Grant…" Julia said as she handed the phone back to her husband.

"Mom, listen to me. We're stranded, we have no money, no car… it took us 20 minutes to remember Addison's number to call for help. Please, tell me where you are or come and get us or something." Grant pleaded.

Rose took a deep breath and thought the situation through.

"Is there a big store or bank or something near you?" Rose asked.

"There's a Walmart not too far away…" Grant answered.

"I'm going to call and wire money to the bank inside of the Walmart, I'll them you don't need to show I.D to get it. I want you to take the money and get a prepaid cellphone first and call me back from that." Rose instructed.

"We don't need a phone…" Grant started to argue.

"I am calling the shots here, a lot of things have changed over the past 2 years since my son was killed." Rose vaguely said.

"I am your son." Grant said, growing frustrated and more worried about his daughter with every passing second.

"Then you should trust me and do as I say because I am not playing around, call me when you get the prepaid phone. I'm calling the bank now." Rose said as she hung up the phone.

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><p><strong>AN- **_**I hope you guys all really liked the update, I've really been in on a writing kick for this story lately! Did anyone expect to hear from her parents?**_

**What did you all think of the chapter? Please take a few moments to let me know that you are still reading. As a lot of you know, I tend to focus my attention on the stories with the largest interest. So please, don't be a silent reader today. ^_^**


	40. Paint Fumes

**Part Forty.**

"_If you live in the dark a long time and the sun comes out, you do not cross into it whistling. There's an initial uprush of relief at first, then-for me, anyway- a profound dislocation. My old assumptions about how the world works are buried, yet my new ones aren't yet operational. There's been a death of sorts, but without a few days in hell, no resurrection is possible."_

_~Mary Karr, Lit: A Memoir  
><em>

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><p>Rose paced back and forth across the tile floor in her kitchen, Addison's cellphone clutched in her slightly shaky hand.<p>

It was over an hour later when the phone rang again.

"Hello?" Rose answered.

"Rose, it's Julia… we got the cellphone like you wanted." She replied.

"Good, now you should be getting a picture in a few seconds." Rose said as she sent a picture of a sigil that Addison had drawn on a paper for her.

Anytime Rose left her house she always wore something with the sigil on it, it hid her from the angels until she was back in her house where she was hidden from them.

"I got it… some kind of symbol?" Julia said, unsure of what Rose was getting at.

"You need to get a permanent marker and draw that symbol on each of you, send me pictures when you're done." Rose commanded.

"Rose… please, we are exhausted and to be quite honest I am scared out of my mind. I don't understand anything that's happening and I don't even know if my daughter is alive!" Julia breathed out into the phone.

Ignoring the pain in her voice, Rose swallowed hard and said, "I'll call you back once I receive both pictures."

Hanging up the phone she gripped the edge of the island in the kitchen and tried to control her shaky breathing.

A few moments later the phone chimed from new text messages.

Rose opened them, not only did Julia send her pictures of the symbols inked onto their arms in black permanent marker marker, but she also sent a picture of both them to try and prove it was them.

"Rose?" Julia answered the phone.

"Okay… take the rest of the money, rent a car… I'll text you my address." Rose said.

"Rose…" Julia started to say but Rose hung up the phone and shakily walked over to the kitchen table.

Dropping her granddaughter's cellphone to the wooden table with a thud, she put her head in her hands and let some of the tears go that she had been holding at bay.

After a little while she texted them the address to her house.

She had figured up that it would take them around 5 hours to make it from Indiana to where she was living.

**~(A little over 4 hours later)~**

Addison sat straddling Castiel's lap on the purple couch in her living room.

His hands held firmly onto her sides as he kissed the side of her neck.

Smiling she leaned her head back down and kissed him.

A few moments later he pulled back and sighed.

"What's wrong?" She asked him.

"Your grandmother is praying to me…" Castiel told her.

"Why?" Addison asked as she slid off his lap and stood by the couch.

"I don't know… she's asking for you to come see her." Castiel said as he stood and faced her.

"Okay… I guess, let's go." Addison said with a shrug.

"I don't have time." Castiel told her.

"What?" Addison asked confused.

"I have some other things I need to take care of." He said. He needed to go see Crowley to see how much closer they had gotten to Purgatory.

"And you can't give my grandmother 10 minutes of your time?" Addison asked.

"I'm sorry." Castiel told her.

"It's fine… but I have to go check it out… so I guess I'll find you later today." Addison said, looking at him a little sad.

He nodded and leaned in pressing a soft kiss to her lips before porting from her heaven.

Addison smoothed her hair and clothes out, before porting to her grandmother's house.

"Grandma… I was in the middle of some very important angel/Nephilim things."  
>Addison said, as she looked to her grandmother.<p>

"I'm sorry." Rose said her voice quiet.

"What's wrong?" Addison asked, growing concerned.

"I don't want to upset or worry you, but there is something you need to know." Rose said as she motioned to the couch.

Addison crossed the room and sat down, looking at her worried.

"This morning I got a call on your cellphone… it was a man claiming to be your father." Rose admitted.

"What?" Addison asked confused.

"He claimed to have Julia with him, he said they had been attacked and killed then went to heaven, and then today they woke up in a park in Greenwood, Indiana." Rose said.

"That's impossible… they were killed…" Addison breathed out.

"I know, but they both sounded truly terrified and they both kept asking if you were okay. I didn't tell them anything about you." Rose said.

"What are we going to do?" Addison asked.

"Well, I had them draw that symbol that you showed me on them, so angels wouldn't be able to pinpoint their location and they are on their way here." Rose admitted.

"Well, if it's demons possessing their bodies than… they won't be able to get into the house." Addison said.

Rose nodded.

"Grandma… I need you to be prepared for this. Whatever it is that comes through the door, it's going to look and sound exactly like my parents… but chances are it's not going to be. So you can't trust them." Addison said, holding her arms over her stomach and feeling sick from the thought of a monster or demon taking her parent's forms.

"They should be here in less than an hour." Rose said.

Addison's eyes went to the table where her grandmother had laid out a bottle of holy water, and a gun.

"Looks like you're already prepared." Addison said managing a small smile.

"I'm not ready for any of this." Rose admitted, tapping her foot nervously on the floor.

"Me either." Addison admitted.

A few moments later Rose asked, "Should we call Castiel?"

"No, he's… busy." Addison said, thinking back to what he had told her.

"But maybe to be on the safe side… couldn't hurt to have him in our corner, we don't know what's coming." Rose argued.

"I can handle this." Addison said.

Rose managed a weak nod.

Close to 40 minutes later the doorbell rang.

Addison looked at her, "You won't be able to see me… but I'm not leaving you, oaky?"

"But…" Rose said.

"I promise, I am not leaving… you just won't be able to see me." Addison said as she made herself invisible.

Rose stood up taking a deep breath as the doorbell rang again.

Looking through the peephole her heart stopped as she saw her son and his wife.

She unlocked and opened the door standing to the side.

A look of shock spread over her face as they walked right in, through the iron plating around the door.

"Mom!" Grant said as he took a few steps towards his mother.

"Don't touch her." Addison said, appearing between her grandmother and the man who looked like her father.

"Addy! Thank god! We didn't know if you were okay…" Julia said, not even paying attention to the fact that her daughter appeared out of thin air.

Addison looked back and forth between their faces.

"Mom. Dad. If it really is you guys… I'm sorry." She said.

They both looked confused and then they both yelled in pain as they fell to the floor, holding their heads until the both were unconscious .

"I need 2 chairs from the kitchen." Addison instructed Rose.

Rose quickly walked into the kitchen grabbing 2 chairs from the kitchen table and returned to the living room to see Addison headed back into the living room from the hallway with a large amount of rope.

Addison got both of her parent's securely bound to the chairs and took a few steps back to look at them.

"It looks just like them…" Rose observed.

"I know… but they were slaughtered by demons." Addison said."

"What now?" Rose asked.

"Umm. Well, so far we've crossed demons off the list… they just walked right in." Addison said, looking back to the iron plated doors and windows.

"What are our other possibilities?" Rose asked.

"Shape shifter… I really don't know grandma. I've spent the past few years dealing with demons and angels, I'm not versed on other supernatural creatures." Addison admitted.

Her light green eyes lit up.

"But, I happen to have 2 friends who are very well educated on all of this… be right back." Addison said as she disappeared form the room.

Rose picked up the bottle of holy water from the coffee table and splashed it on to the two of them just to make sure they weren't demons.

"Hello." Addison said as she appeared in the room with Dean.

"Uhh…" Dean said, looking at her as she unzipped a bag of the weapons.

"You've got silver and stuff in here, right?" Shea asked.

"Yeah, what's going on?" Dean asked.

"Where's Sam?" She asked as she slung the bag over her shoulder.

"Food run…" Dean answered.

Oh well, I only need one of you." Addison said as she ported them back to her grandmothers living room.

"A little warning next time!" Dean growled, he hated being ported around.

"Don't have time." Addison responded nonchalantly.

"Grandma, this is my friend Dean." Addison said pointing to him.

"This is my grandma." Addison introduced.

Rose looked back and forth between Addison and Dean.

"This is your friend?" She asked, looking at Addison with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah." Addison said with a nod.

"Honey, he looks like a male model… I really think we should just call Castiel." Rose said, turning her attention back to her granddaughter.

"No, I told you he's busy." Addison said.

"Addy… what the hell is going on?" Dean asked, looking to the couple tied to the chairs.

Addison looked at her parents as they were starting to come to, and she handed the duffel bag to Dean.

"These things… look like my parents, they claim they're my parents… and so far the only thing I've been able to rule out is demon." Addison explained.

"How did you rule out demon?" Dean asked her.

"This house is demon proofed; they couldn't have gotten through the door." Addison said.

"And I splashed them with holy water… their skin didn't burn." Rose explained.

"Addison!" Julia said as she looked around the room, her head was still pounding.

"So you want me to do all the tests?" Dean questioned.

"Please." She said, her eyes sad as she looked at them

"Addison Renae Pennant, you untie us right now." Grant's voice bellowed through the house.

"Shut up." Addison snapped at what she thought was a monster in the form of her dad.

As Dean did all the tests on them, Addison's parents explained how they remembered being attacked and killed by people with all black eyes.

Then they went to a shared heaven and had never felt more at peace, then just appeared in a park back on earth without a clue as to how they got there.

Dropping the silver knife back into the top of his bag, Dean looked at Addison.

"Well, what are they?" Addison asked him.

"Human." Dean said.

"What?" She gasped.

"I did every test in the book… they're human." Dean said.

"Of course we are human, what else could be possibly be?" Grant yelled.

"Demons… shape shifters… I'm not sure what else he tested you for." Rose admitted.

Grant and Julia looked back and forth between Addison and Rose.

"Have you two lost your damn minds?" Grant asked them.

Addison untied them and gave them a very vague short run through of the events from the past 2 years.

"You don't remember how you got back to earth, at all?" Addison asked.

"No, one minute were on the beach outside of this beautiful little house on this beach. That's our heaven, and then we wake up on earth…" Julia explained as she now sat on the couch holding onto her daughter's hand.

Rose, Dean, and Grant all sat in chairs in the living room.

"It has to be Raphael…" Addison said.

"Let's call Castiel." Rose said again.

"He said he's busy grandma." Addison reminded her.

"I'm sure he'd come help you…" Rose continued.

"I wouldn't count on it… I've been praying to him for weeks. No answer." Dean informed her.

"Praying to who?" Grant asked looking over at Dean.

"Maybe, but Addison you're his mate, right? If you need his help he will come help you." Rose offered.

"You're whose mate?" Julia asked looking to her daughter, her light green eyes wide as she looked at her.

"It's a long story." Addison breathed out shaking her head back and forth.

"Who is this Castiel?" Grant asked.

"He's an angel." Rose explained to her son.

"An angel?" Grant asked.

Dean and Rose nodded.

"So… you're an angel's mate?" Julia asked.

"Why the hell would Raphael bring you guys back?" Addison said under her breath, not even listening to the conversation in the room.

"How old is this Castiel?" Grant asked looking to Rose.

Rose shrugged, "I believe thousands and thousands of years… I'm not even sure he knows his exact age."

Grant's face went pale and he looked over to his wife.

"Okay… no, I just… I can't buy all of this. Angels? Demons? It's all made up mythology and stories to keep you up at night. There is no such thing!" Grant yelled as he stood up from his chair.

Addison looked up to Dean, ignoring her father's outburst and said "It's got to be Raphael."

"That means that this is all a trap then…" Dean agreed.

"Grant sit down, you're stressing me out." Rose said looking to her son.

"No, I am not going to sit down. You all realize you're crazy right… I mean I know you've always been a little out there Addison, but now you've got my mother believing in all of this nonsense." Grant said.

"It isn't nonsense… you've been dead for 2 years, you have no idea what you're talking about." Addison argued back.

"Grant, stop it. You know as well as I do the men that killed us had eyes as black as coal." Julia defended her daughter and mother-in-law.

"It could have been the lighting; we were in a state of panic." Grant retorted.

"Typical, just because I believe in something you automatically assume it's to strange too be true." Addison said.

"You're an eccentric person Addy… you always have been." Grant said.

"No I'm not, I just don't have the same beliefs as you." Addison said, trying to keep her voice calm.

"This is ridiculous." Grant breathed out.

"Stop it." Rose ordered.

"Addy is right, you've been gone for 2 years…" Rose told him.

"Has Addison been living with you mom? Because frankly you sound like you've breathed in too many of her paint fumes." Grant said. He had never understood why his daughter would rather paint than go to college to get a good education and career.

"You sound just as narrow-minded as you always have been, you have no idea what your daughter has been though." Rose argued with her son.

Addison looked across the room, her eyes locking with Dean's as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair as her family argued across the room at each other.

Ignoring their bickering Addison kept her eyes on Dean and said, "Can you hide them, keep them away from the angels?"

"I doubt it… you know more about staying hidden from angels than I do. Plus, you've got your Nephilim powers and you can kill them." He said, also blocking out her family as they all continued to yell.

"It's no good… Cas and I got attacked last night when we were trying to get back another one of heaven's weapons. I'm not severely weakened but it won't take much before I'm drained." She told him, "Can you at least keep them hidden until I'm back at full strength?"

"I can try, but the chance of it actually working are slim to none." Dean told her.

Addison looked over as her mother let go of her hand and stood as she crossed the room joining the bickering between her husband and mother-in-law.

"Of course… they all may just kill each other before the angels even get to them." Dean observed.

Addison hung her head, "What the hell am I going to do?" She thought out loud.

"Our only option might be to call Cas." Dean said.

"I won't do it… Raphael wants Cas dead. If we call him it's just going to put him in danger, I won't do that…" Addison told him.

"I can handle this on my own." She finished.

Dean raised an eyebrow, "Or get killed trying, you need back up… and I don't just mean me. You probably need Cas and whatever other feathered friends you've made."

"I don't have feathered friends… I have Cas, the other angels follow him and are scared of me, they wouldn't help me." Addison explained.

"Alright, so what are we doing?" Dean asked her.

"Well the house has some shields on it, helping hide it from angels… but it's not locked to keep angels out. So I guess let's start angel proofing." Addison said as she stood from the couch.

"Alright." Dean agreed as he stood up from his chair.

"Bit too late for that Addison." A female voice said.

Addison spun around and saw 4 of Raphael's follower angels standing in the room with them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Thank you so much for reading, I hope you guys all liked the chapter.**

**Thank you to everyone who has favorited and/or added my stories to your alerts. **

**I also have a new Castiel/OC story 'Blue Burns Orange' ^_^**

**I'd really appreciate it if you would please take the time to leave a review and let me know if you're still reading the story. Your supports means so much to me and you guys are truly my inspiration to keep writing and posting my work on here. ^_^**


	41. Pillow Talk

**Part Forty One.**

"_We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward."_

_~Alison Croggon  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Oh my god… not again." Rose breathed out as she looked at the 4 angels standing in her living room.<p>

"You have the opportunity to come with us… turn yourself in to Raphael and your family will be spared." The only female angel of the group informed her.

She looked over to Dean who had crossed the room and was now beside her.

"And Dean?" she questioned.

Dean looked over at her, his green eyes wide.

"We'll pretend we didn't see him… Raphael's main concern is you and how useful you could be." The woman continued.

"What about Cas?" She asked them.

No one answered her.

"What about Castiel?" Addison asked them through gritted teeth.

"There is nothing that can be done about him." One of the male angels said.

Addison angrily shook her head back and forth.

"What's it going to be? We can do this the easy way or you can watch them suffer." The female angel spoke up again motioning to Addison's family who all stood frozen in fear in the living room.

"I'm going to give you one last opportunity to leave." Addison said, locking eyes with each of them as she looked down the line.

"You were in battle earlier today… you're not strong enough to take us down." The woman argued, trying to reason with her.

"Wanna bet?" Addison asked them.

"Even if you did manage to kill us… you think we're the only ones who are going to come for you? There's a lot more of use, we're just the first ones to see beyond the angel shields you put on the house." She informed her.

Addison swallowed hard and held her arm down beside her, concentrating she had her angel blade appear in her hand.

"Oh crap." Dean muttered as 3 more angels appeared in the living room with them.

"Here." Addison said, looking at Dean.

His eyes traveled down until he saw the angel blade in her hand.

"What are you going to use then?" He questioned.

"Take this." She ordered pushing the blade into his hand.

It was only seconds after the angels saw the blade that they started to attack.

Dean managed to kill 1 and was in the process of fighting another angel. Addison had killed 2 with her powers and had focused on a 3rd when a blinding light shot through the living room.

Addison and Dean spun around to see Rose with her hand in the middle of the angel banishing blood spell she had drawn on the wall.

"Mom?" Grant said, his voice hoarse as he was in shock from everything he had just seen.

Rose looked around at all the eyes on her.

"Well, Addison… I did look over the papers with the protection symbols you gave me." Rose said as she dropped the bloody knife to the floor from where she had cut her hand to draw the sigil.

"Thanks…" Addison said, still surprised at her grandmother.

"I just haven't felt safe here since that last time those angels showed up and almost killed you." Rose continued to explain.

"Addy?" Julia asked, tears in her eyes as she stared at her daughter.

"So everything you said was true… you're not human and angels are after you…" Grant breathed out feeling like the room was spinning.

"I tried to tell you." Addison pointed out.

Feeling a little more drained from using her power, she sighed heavily as she tried to think of a plan.

"Every bit of it is true?" Grant asked.

"Every single bit." Rose told her son.

"Even the part about her being…a…mate…for some angel that god only knows how old he is?" Grant asked facing his mother.

"It isn't as bad as it sounds… he only looks to be 30 something." Rose tried to offer.

"Oh my god…" Julia breathed out placing a hand over her stomach as it felt like everything was spiraling out of control.

"Focus dad! We've got bigger problems than how old Cas is." Addison snapped.

"Angel proofing?" Dean asked her.

"There's no time… I need a place already secured from angels." Addison said.

"Well I don't know of anyone with an already angel proofed house… do you?" Dean asked.

Addison's eyes widened.

"Crowely!" She exclaimed.

"You're kidding right? He's a demon! You can't just drop your family off there!" Dean said.

"Yes, I can… he knows I'll kill him if he does anything." Addison argued as she turned to her family.

"Addison!" Dean yelled, but she had already ported her family into Crowley's living room.

"Oh my god… how the hell did we get here?" Grant asked, feeling like his head was still spinning.

Crowley turned around from looking out the window he was standing in front of with his glass tilted against his lips as he was mid drink when he heard the unfamiliar voice.

He stared at Addison and her parents and grandmother with a blank expression before he raised his eyebrows and said "Sweetheart, you neglected to tell me we were having company tonight."

"Who the hell is he?" Grant asked his daughter.

"Crowley… this is my family…" She began to say but he cut her off.

"A bit early to be introducing me to your parents, don't you think? We haven't even consummated our relationship." He responded, the corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk.

"I need your help." She said, her light green eyes pleaded with him.

"And you came to me why?" He asked, taking a drink from his glass.

"I've got angels on my ass." She told him.

"In more than one way, I'm sure." He retorted.

Her cheeks grew pink and she sighed heavily.

"It's simple, I have to go take care of a few things… they are going to stay here hidden from the angels." Addison said.

"I'm not helping you…" He informed her; still shocked she brought her family to him.

"Yes you are… we're friends." Addison tried to reason.

"Friends? Is that what you called us when you used your powers to send me flying into a bookcase, and then writhing in excruciating pain… twice?" He asked.

"I said sorry about that. Please, I have to go." She begged.

"You're honestly going to leave them here? What makes you think the minute that you're gone I'm not going to tear their hearts out?" He asked, sitting his glass down and tucking his hands in his pockets.

"Because if you do… I will kill you." Addison threatened her tone cold.

"That's precisely why we aren't friends… you can't go a week without threatening my life." Crowley responded.

"I don't have time for this. Do not touch them!" Addison said as she ported from the room.

Crowley looked to the trio of strangers standing in his living room staring at him wide-eyed.

"You… you're… a… demon?" Julia managed to squeak out, remembering what Dean had said before Addison brought them all there.

"King of Hell, actually." He suavely responded.

"Oh my god…" Julia said shaking her head back and forth.

"And you are?" Crowley asked them, still amazed that Addison had just dumped her family off on him.

"Don't tell that demon anything…" Rose warned.

Crowley looked down to the floor and smiled before looking back to them.

"Now that's rude don't you think… you're in my house and Addison isn't here." Crowley said, his stare hard as it fell on Rose.

He took a few steps towards the group; Grant and Julia instinctively coward back in fear but Rose stood her ground.

"Don't you come any closer to my family…" Rose said her voice strong.

Ignoring her Crowley took another step and Rose splashed holy water on his face, she had swiped the bottle before Addison ported them out.

He groaned and hissed in pain as it burnt like acid on his skin.

Taking a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping the water from his face he glared at her.

"I tried to warn you." Rose responded, nonchalantly.

"Rose… I see Addison comes by her charm and people skills naturally…" Crowley said with a heavy sigh.

"How do you know my name?" Rose asked him.

"I've known your granddaughter for quite a while… she does tell me things… pillow talk mostly." Crowley went on to say, watching the disgusted expression on her family's face.

"We should have just stayed dead…" Grant breathed out, not able to handle everything.

**~()~**

Addison appeared back in her grandmother's house.

"Please… tell me you did not just drop every last one of your breathing relatives off at the King of Hell's house?" Dean questioned.

"It's fine." Addison responded as she looked around the living room.

"How is that fine?" Dean questioned.

"He's not going to hurt them." Addison explained.

"Look, I don't know if he was nice to you when you spent those months with him… or if you have developed a false sense of thinking that he's afraid to act against you. But its Crowley… he will screw you over in a heartbeat." Dean said.

"I know what I'm doing." Addison defended her decision.

"I really don't think you do." Dean argued.

"Well… it's really not your place to second guess my decision, Dean." Addison said.

"It kind of is, when you pluck me up from my hotel room and expect me to just help you with whatever you need." Dean said, his voice gruff.

"Excuse me?" Addison asked with an arched eyebrow.

"You showed up grabbed my bag of weapons and ported me here, you didn't ask if I was busy… or even tell me you needed help you just brought me here assuming I'd help you." Dean went on to say.

"Well, I'm terribly sorry to inconvenience you… but I do seem to recall a time when I did every single thing I could to help you. But I guess I was wrong to assume that we were friends and that you'd help me when I'm in need." Addison said.

"We are friends…" Dean started to say but she cut him off.

"It's fine… my bad, won't make that mistake again. I can handle all of this by myself." Addison snapped.

Picking his bag of weapons up she tossed it at Dean.

He caught the bag with a groan and looked at her confused.

"Thank you for helping as much as you did." She said, as she walked up to him.

"What are you talking about? You can't handle this on your own…" Dean's words were cut short.

"Goodbye Dean." Addison said as she placed her hand on his head and ported him back to his hotel room.

Addison looked around the now empty house and tried to devise a plan when a few more angels show up.

Using her angel blade she fought and killed 2 of them then used her power to weaken the other angel until it was unconscious.

Grabbing the passed out angel she ported to her family's lake house, thinking it would buy her more time because she had shields on the lake house to, and the angels would probably find her grandmother's house first.

At the house she worked a blood spell and doused a set of ropes in a mixture of holy oil and her blood, and tied the still unconscious angel to the a chair, taking her angel blade she stared at the angel and took a deep breath.

Walking up to it she cut the front of his shirt open and quickly carved a sigil into his chest to make sure the angel wouldn't be able to port away or manage to leave it's vessel.

It was only a few moments later that she was attacked by more angels, some of them had been keeping an eye on her at her grandmother's house and followed her.

After successfully killing the ones in the living room she heard a loud thud in the kitchen.

Running into the room her eyes widened as she saw an angel grab Crowley and slam him against a wall, the angel had put a spell on the room so the demon couldn't smoke out.

She watched Crowley's eyes widen in fear as the angel started to reach forward to put its hand on his forehead and kill him.

Darting across the kitchen, Addison grabbed the angel just before it was going to kill him.

Crowley watched as she slammed the angel down on the floor and put her hand on its' head, a bright light emitted from its eyes as she killed it with her powers.

Standing up she took a deep breath; she had used way too much of her powers that day.

Turning she faced Crowley.

"How do you not have an angel proofed house?" He questioned.

"Because if I angel proof it Cas can't get in. there are ways I block every angel out but him, I've been meaning to find a safe house or two… but I've been busy." Addison admitted.

Looking down at the dead angel Crowley looked back at her.

"Thanks for that." He said, his head cocked slightly to the side, surprised she hadn't let the angel kill him.

"I need your help." Addison admitted.

"2nd time I've heard that today and I've gotten nothing in return for helping you." Crowley responded as he straightened his suit jacket out.

"I did just save your life…" Addison pointed out.

His eyes narrowed slightly.

"What do you want?" He asked her.

Leading him into the living room she showed him where she had the angel bound to the chair.

"I want you to take this, and torture it… I need to know why Raphael brought my parents back." Addison said as she displayed her angel blade.

"You have the means… why didn't you find the answers out yourself?" He questioned.

She swallowed hard as she thought of an excuse.

"Well, I was about to and then you almost got yourself killed… so now you owe me." Addison said.

Crowley's lips angled up in a smile.

"Well… get to work." She instructed.

He looked back down to the angel blade in her hand.

"Do your own dirty work." He responded.

"What?" She asked.

"Come on… this angel tried to kill you, would have killed your family if I wasn't currently providing them shelter. You don't want to see it suffer?" He questioned his voice low and accent smooth as he spoke to her.

"I… would rather you do it, you're more skilled, I'm sure." She argued.

"Yes, but torture is torture… you poke at something long enough and you'll find out what you want." Crowley said.

"Why the hell won't you do this? It's an angel, you're a demon don't you just want to hurt it?" She asked.

"Not really. I have no need to, and I'd rather just sit back and watch you work." He said, smugly.

"Fine." She said, irritated.

Crossing the room she stood in front of the angel, she was getting ready to revive it before she started to torture it.

But she looked down at her hand with angel blade in it, her entire arm was shaking.

Turning around she dropped the blade on the coffee table, and took a deep breath.

"What is it?" He asked, knowing she didn't have it in her to torture.

"I can't do this. I am not a monster… I can't…" She said shaking her head back and forth.

"You did put forth a solid effort." He said with a small laugh.

"Can you please just do this one thing for me? Please?" She asked.

"It's funny how you find your manners when you want something." He pointed out.

"Please, Crowley." She pleaded.

"I would… but I believe you've already called in your favor for the day. Or have you forgotten about the angel fugitives you dumped in my house?" He said.

"That was hardly a favor; it didn't require you to do anything." She stated.

Sighing she said, "If you're not going to help me… why are you still here?"

"I didn't say I wasn't going to help… I was just saying you are in no position to be calling in favors." He clarified.

"So you'll do it?" She questioned.

"For a price." He told her.

"Okay… I'll bite. What do you want?" She asked.

"Well… I could think of several things I want from you…" He started to say, enjoying the look on her face as he was getting under her skin.

"Forget it." She said shaking her head back and forth.

"But, I'll settle for something a little less satisfying." He said.

"Like what, Crowley?" She asked.

He nodded towards the angel.

"You want the angel? For what… a pet? Fine, find out what I want and the angel is all yours." Addison said.

"I don't want the angel; I want the power from the angel." Crowley said.

"What?" Addison asked.

"Angels… they're very strong, and very powerful. I want that angel's power." Crowley told her.

"How much stronger would the power of 1 angel make you?" She asked

"Quite a bit." He admitted.

"I don't think so… you're already too strong of a demon as it is. There is no way I'm just going to hand you more power." She told him.

"Thought we were friends… friends help each other out. You need to know what the angel knows, and I could stand to gain a little power from it." He said.

After a few moments she shook her head, "Fine, you find out what I need and you are free to rip all the power from that angel that you want to."

"I'm a demon; I cannot rip power from angels." Crowley said.

"Oh my god, are you going to keep talking in circles? Just tell me what you want." Addison complained.

"Demons can't take power from an angel… a Nephilim can take the power from an angel and transfer it to a demon." Crowley said.

Her eyes widened.

"Do you know what the angels would do if they found out I gave the King of Hell more power?" Addison asked.

"Those are my terms, take it or… roll up your sleeves and start carving away." Crowley said as he nodded towards the angel.

Addison looked down to the angel blade and back to the angel.

Turning back she looked at Crowley, her eyes locking with his for a few moments.

"I can't… I really wish I could just pick the blade up and get the answers that I need myself… but, this is one thing I can't do." She admitted, even though it killed her to show any weakness to him.

"While I appreciate the honesty… my offer still stands." He stated flatly.

"I don't know how to take its power." She defended.

"I'll walk you through it." He told her.

Sighing loudly with defeat she nodded her head and said, "Okay… deal."

"I'll get you the answers you need and you'll give me the power I want, right?" He asked wording his sentence very carefully.

"Yeah, fine. Let's just get this over with." She said, running her hands through her hair.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- I really hope you guys all liked the new chapter. ^_^ I really love writing scenes between Addison and Crowley.**

**I have a new Castiel/OC story 'Blue Burns Orange' and don't forget to check out my Polyvore account. The link is up on my profile, I make sets to go along with my stories.**

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know if you read the chapter. Your support means the world to me, and you all are truly my motivation to keep writing and posting updates. **


	42. Young and Naive

**Part Forty Two.**

"_It's no good being nice and young and naive. There's no good in that at all. You've got to do it all yourself, and you've gotta learn quick. And you can't look for sympathy either."_

_~ Johnny Rotten  
><em>

* * *

><p>A while later, Crowley appeared in the upstairs bedroom where Addison was sitting on the side of the bed nervously tapping her foot against the floor.<p>

She had barely been able to stomach watching Dean torturing Alistair over a year ago.

She tried to stay downstairs, but she couldn't take it anymore and had to go upstairs.

"Did you get it?" Addison asked, not even looking up at him. Her voice was dry and gravely as she spoke.

"You'd know for yourself if you'd stayed." He pointed out to her.

"Yeah… well, I didn't." She responded, her voice sounded distant.

"You were correct, Raphael brought your parents back…" Crowley said.

"Yeah, I got that much genius… thank you. What else did you find out?" She asked, not letting him finish his sentence.

"I was just getting to the good bits… if you hadn't interrupted me." He said with a sigh.

She remained silent, with her eyes glue to the floor in front of her shoes.

"It was an attempt to draw you out." Crowley continued to explain.

"Figured as much." Addison said with a nod.

"You were down there for over an hour… that's really all you got?" She asked, still not looking up to him.

"He's very loyal to Raphael, and no I found one other thing out." Crowley told her.

"What's that?" Addison questioned.

"When Raphael gets you, he's going to torture you and your family until you agree to draw Castiel out. Then they're going to kill him in front of you." Crowley finished.

"Lovely." Addison said shaking her head.

"So now you got what you wanted, your turn to please me." He said.

She groaned and stood up, walking past him and down into the living room. Swallowing hard as she surveyed the bloody mess of an angel strapped down to the chair.

Holding her hands up she used some of the strength she had left to put the angel back into unconsciousness so it wouldn't be suffering anymore.

Crowley explained to her how to take its power.

Addison slowly crossed the floor and looked at the angel slumped down in the chair.

She placed one hand on its shoulder and with the other hand she concentrated and pushed it into the angel's stomach. Almost the same way Castiel had put his hand in Aaron Birch to see who held the contract on his soul.

Addison wondered how she'd know when she found its power, but then her fingertips touched something that sent a shock through her body.

Her eyes widened and she immediately felt like she was back at full strength, like not a bit of her abilities has been drained. Concentrating and pushing her hand in father she held her breath as she absorbed the power completely.

When she pulled her hand back from the angel a bright light emanated from its eyes and mouth; she watched as before her eyes the angels skin turned to a leathery gray color and looked like it had been dead for weeks.

"Nice work, I half expected you to blow yourself up." Crowley stated.

Addison looked at him, her light green eyes almost glowing.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" He questioned, knowing the new power she had surging through her.

"No." She lied.

He smiled and shook his head, "You're not a very good liar."

She rolled her eyes.

He took a few steps towards her, she stood her ground.

"Pay up." He said.

"I don't think so." Addison said.

"What?" Crowley asked her.

"I don't think so… I appreciate your help but I'm not going to hand this power over to a demon." She explained her eyes still bright.

"Yes you are, those were the terms." He said, growing angry with her.

"It wasn't a formal contract." Addison argued with him.

"Addison…" He started to say but she cut him off.

"No, Crowley." She said.

"Have it your way then." He said, seeming un-phased.

"Why?" She questioned confused.

"Well, your family is in my house still…" He told her.

"You won't hurt them." Addison said confidently.

"If you say so." He responded.

"I'll kill you." She threatened.

"And then they will all be killed, and their souls dragged so deep into the pit that you'd get ripped to shreds before you found them." Crowley told her, he had some of his highest ranking servants watching them.

Addison looked him in the eyes, and determined he was telling the truth.

"Fine… so how do we do this? Shake hands and it transfers it to you?" She questioned.

"No…" He said, smirking at her.

"Then how? Come on… let's just do this. I don't have time to just stand here, I have to get a safe house set up for my family…." Her voice trailed off when he quickly grabbed her and pushed her against a wall.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked.

"We kiss." He explained.

Her eyes widened, "What? No way!" She yelled.

"Then say goodbye to your family." He said, taking a step back.

She took a step away from the wall.

Closing her eyes she shook her head back and forth.

"Fine." She said her voice almost in a growl.

He looked at her, smiling smugly.

"If there's a next time… you're so going to explain the rules to me before…" She started to say but he pushed her against the wall.

At first she didn't fight him, assuming it was going to be a simple kiss like when she had made the deal for him to pull her from hell.

But within moments his tongue forced its way into her mouth, she tried to push him back and thought she tasted the coppery flavor of blood.

She squirmed against his hold on her and tried to push him back but he kept her pinned and his mouth tight against hers. Every second his lips were on hers she could feel the newly gained power being drained.

Addison wasn't exactly sure how it happened, whether it was from her trying to push his tongue out of her mouth, or her trying to talk against the kiss to tell him to stop, but she groaned in pain as he managed to bite down on her tongue.

She pushed even harder against him, but with her diminished strength from weakness, she wasn't physically a match against his strength and he held her tongue between his teeth for a few seconds before finally letting her go.

She pushed him back and wiped her mouth disgusted.

"You bit me!" She yelled, as she could feel her tongue was slightly swollen and some blood ran into her mouth.

"Oops." He said, raising an eyebrow.

"Ugh." She groaned in disgust as she wiped her mouth again and stared at him angrily.

He smiled smugly. She didn't know it, but he had worded the deal very carefully, saying the power that he wanted, not just the power from the angel.

Crowley had bit his own tongue before kissing her, the swapping of blood after their deal would allow him to pull power from her, not just all of the angel power he'd taken from her.

"You are very determined to save your family…" Crowley said.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"A simple hand shake would have done the trick." He admitted, his tone cocky.

She angrily shook her head back and forth, irritated at herself for not challenging it when he said they had to kiss.

"Okay… now I need you to do one more thing for me." Addison told him.

"What?" He asked.

"I need you to get a hold of Dean, and have him set up an angel and demon proofed house for my family… I've still got quite a bit of my parents life insurance money left…" She started to explain but he cut her off.

"Why do I have to?" He asked.

"Because you're the only one whose here and I don't exactly have time for last phone calls." She told him.

"What?" He questioned.

She was silent.

"You're turning yourself in…" Crowley realized.

"I have to, they won't stop hunting my family if I don't." she told him.

"This is war Addison, now is no time to play the martyr." Crowley lectured.

"Like you even care and I don't have another option." Addison said.

Crowley sighed heavily. He didn't really care if she did get herself killed, but he needed Castiel to open Purgatory and if Addison got herself killed, or gave Cas away to them. He'd never be able to open Purgatory.

"So you're going to save your family at the cost of not only your life, but Castiel's to?" Crowley asked, trying to appeal to her love the for angel.

"No, just mine. They're not getting Cas." She said, her voice confident.

"They will use you to get to him." He argued.

"They can try, but without access to my family the only one they'll have in their possession to… torture… will be me." She told him.

"And you think you'll be able to hold your own… you couldn't even stand in the same room while I was torturing an angel." He reminded her.

"You don't understand, there is absolutely nothing they could do to me to get me to betray him. Nothing." She said, her voice stronger than before.

"You're an idiot of if you actually believe that." He accused.

She rolled her eyes.

"Take it from me, it's called torture for a reason… you will break. Everyone always breaks." He tried to reason.

"I don't have to explain this to you. You don't even have feelings or a heart, so you can't understand." She said.

"I don't have to care to understand the reality of the situation. You're more naive than I thought…" He said, shaking his head back and forth wondering how she managed to stay alive for so long in the civil war of heaven.

"I am not naive." She argued.

"Addison, think this through…" He started to say.

"You should leave Crowley." She said, cutting him off.

"What?" He asked.

"I just removed the angel shields from the house… it won't be long until someone shows up." She informed him.

He looked at her in disbelief. He didn't really care if she died, but he needed Castiel to get into Purgatory, and he knew if she died Cas would be useless to him.

"You didn't…" He said in complete disbelief.

"Goodbye Crowley." She said, her light green eyes locking with his darker green eyes.

He ported from the house, still surprised that she was trying to sacrifice herself.

It was only moments after Crowley left than the angel showed up.

"Only one of you this time?" Addison questioned.

"You're weak… and seeing as how you willingly revealed your location…" The angel's voice trailed off.

"I want to turn myself in, but I have some conditions." Addison said her voice strong.

"I think we're a little past negotiating, how many of my brothers and sisters have you killed today, Addison?" The angel questioned.

"I may be a little drained, but are you sure I'm not strong enough to add at least 1 more angel to the death toll of today?" She questioned.

"Fine… what terms?" The angel asked.

Addison opened her mouth to talk, but gasped when she saw the tip of an angel blade protrude through its chest.

As the angel fell dead to the floor Addison looked up to see Crowley standing with the bloody angel blade still in his hand.

"You… you just killed my negotiator." Addison complained.

In an instant Crowley had grabbed her and ported her to his house.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I did not risk everything to help fight the end of the world, for you to turn around and let Raphael bring on the apocalypse." Crowley told her.

"Now you need to drop the hero complex and stop trying to be a martyr; you're no good to anyone dead, understand?" He asked.

She looked at him confused.

"Now get your family out of my house, before I kill every single one of you myself." He growled his face only inches away from hers.

**~(The next day)~**

"What is it, Dean?" Castiel questioned as he appeared in Dean's hotel room.

"I've been calling you since yesterday." Dean pointed out, irritation showing in his voice.

"I don't know anything about Sam's resurrection." Castiel told him.

"I wasn't calling about that…" Dean said.

"I am in the middle of a civil war." Cas reminded him.

"Well, Cas… regardless of your war… you should have come sooner, at this point all I can say is I really hope she's still alive." Dean said, his tone accusatory.

"Who?" Castiel asked him.

"Addison, who else?" Dean asked.

"What are you talking about?" Castiel asked.

"I mean it's not a big deal or anything, she just kept getting ambushed by angels and then… oh yeah, Raphael brought her parents back to draw her out. Last time I saw them was before she dropped them at Crowley's. So I really hope they are all okay." Dean said.

Castiel stood still and tried to focus on Addison, to port to her but he couldn't pick up a location for her.

When Castiel remained in the room Dean continued, "And I've been calling you because I need help with Sam… there is something wrong with him…"

"Cas?" Dean asked, when the angel didn't respond.

"Where was the last place you saw her?" Castiel asked him, still not able to locate her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- _Thank you so much for reading! I hope everyone liked the update!_**

_**Don't forget that on my profile is a link to my Polyvore account, I make sets to go along with my stories. ^_^**_

**If anyone watches Teen Wolf, I now have a Teen Wolf fanfiction up titled 'Young Blood.' If you check it out, please take a few moments to let me know what you thought.**

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know if you read and liked this chapter. This is still one of my favorite stories to write, and I hope you're all still liking it too. ^_^**


	43. Vintage Misery

**Part Forty Three.**

"_There is love in holding and there is love in letting go."_

_~ Elizabeth Berg, The Year of Pleasures  
><em>

* * *

><p>"So this house is going to keep us safe?" Grant questioned as he looked around the living room of the house.<p>

"Yeah, Dad. I've put every sigil and symbol to shield this house from angels and demons, they can't get inside. You're hidden here." Addison assured them.

"I just… I don't understand any of this. You're my daughter, I gave birth to you… how can you not be human?" Julia breathed out looking to her.

"I already explained this mom." Addison said, rubbing her temples.

"That it's some gene that randomly shows up… I just can't understand this Nephilim thing. I mean… I carried you for 9 months, spent almost 11 hours in labor with you. I've changed your diapers and nursed you… I've been there through every flu and runny nose… I watched this innocent baby grow up into this strong, beautiful young woman standing here in front of me. But I can't… I don't understand this." Julia said, clearly distressed from everything going on.

"Julia, it's a lot to take in. But with time, it will get easier to accept." Rose offered to her daughter-in-law.

Addison watched as her dad, Grant, took Julia's hand in his.

"We don't want to upset the both of you…" Grant said.

"What's going on?" Rose questioned her son.

"We don't… want to stay here." Julia admitted to them.

"This is the safest house for you." Addison argued with her mother.

"No, Addy. Your mother means we don't want to be on earth anymore. We were so happy and peaceful… we don't want to cause you both more sadness but we just want to go back to our heaven." Grant informed them.

"I just got you back…" Rose said, tears burning her eyes.

"No." Addison said flatly.

"I know it's hard to accept, but this isn't our world anymore." Julia said, her eyes full of sadness as she looked at her daughter.

"I am so sorry that you guys are in this situation. Everything that's happening is a direct result of my choices and the things I've done. I'm sorry for that. But until this is all over, if you go back to heaven, Raphael will get a hold of you and he will use you against me." Addison tried to explain.

"I just don't want to be here anymore… I just want to go to heaven." Julia said, tears starting to pour from her eyes.

"Oh god mom, please don't cry." Addison breathed out.

"I'm sorry… I just… it's been over a year and the only thing we'd felt in heaven was pure happiness and peace. Then we end up here, and this world is miserable… in worse shape than when we left." Julia tried to explain.

"There's supposed to be a code of conduct in heaven, they are supposed to protect the souls there, not cause them any harm. But some of these angels will do anything and everything they see fit to accomplish their needs. If I take you back to your heaven, the angels will get ahold of you again… and they will torture you to get to me." Addison explained.

"They're supposed to be angels… what kind of screwed up reality is this?" Grant asked.

"When this is over and we defeat Raphael, we'll talk about whether you want to return to heaven or if you want to stay here. But for now, I need the 3 of you to watch out for each other and keep your selves alive." Addison told them.

"Wait… you're not going to be here with us?" Julia asked her eyes wide.

"I am fighting a civil war, mom. I can't just sit here, Cas needs me." Addison told them.

"I don't understand." Julia repeated.

Addison sighed and looked over to her grandmother.

"Addison is a lot stronger than you think… she's been fighting this war and she's doing good. If she stops now, the angels will try to bring on the apocalypse again. I hate it every time she leaves to… I'm always afraid it's the last time I'm going to see her, but she has to do this. She's doing the right thing; just like you both raised her to do." Rose stood up for her granddaughter.

"She's 21 years old… she shouldn't have to be fighting a war in heaven. This isn't right." Grant complained.

"It isn't right, none of this right. But it's reality…" Addison said as she walked towards the front door.

"You're leaving now?" Julia asked as they followed her to the door.

"In a few moments." Addison responded as she opened the door and stepped outside, out of the angel shielding of the house.

"Cas!" She yelled.

In an instant he was at her side.

"You're okay?" He questioned, his blue eyes searched her face.

"Not really… but physically, yeah just a little tired." She admitted.

"I have been trying for over a day to find you, you were hidden from me. I didn't even know if you were alive." He admitted.

Addison looked to where her parents and grandmother were standing inside the house looking at them.

"This is Castiel… the angel?" Grant asked.

"That's him. See, I told you he only looks to be in his thirties." Rose responded.

"But he's really thousands of years old… he's ancient." Julia breathed out.

"Cas, this is my family. I need to you to put the enochian on their ribs to hide them even more." Addison explained.

"Come on out, it's okay." Addison assured them.

"Hello." Castiel greeted them.

Turning back to Addison he said, "Dean called to me to tell me what you were doing."

Addison avoided his eyes.

"I went to see Crowley… he said you tried to turn yourself over to Raphael's angels." Castiel said his eyes slightly narrowed at her.

"Well, he stopped me… so it's over." Addison responded.

"You did what?" Rose questioned looking at her.

"It's a not a big deal." Addison said.

Looking to where Rose was standing Cas said, "I don't know why she always says that about serious dilemmas. She tried to get herself killed; Raphael would have tortured and eventually killed her. It is a big deal."

"Addison!" Rose snapped looking to her granddaughter.

"Thanks Cas…" Addison sarcastically breathed out.

"You're angry." He observed.

"Clearly they have enough to worry about, you're making things worse!" She exclaimed.

"That is not my intention." He said back sighing.

"You were just going to hand yourself over to those angels who kept coming after all of us? Knowing they want you dead… why the hell would you do that?" Grant asked his only daughter.

Addison looked around at the 4 sets of eyes on her.

"To make thing better." She said under her breath.

"How? Addy, how would that make anything at all better?" Julia asked taking a step towards her.

"It's difficult to understand." Addison told them.

"I'd say…" Rose said, still angry at her.

"Castiel is going to put these symbols on your ribs. The enochian will hide you from all angels. But I have to warn you… it's not pleasant… it hurts." Addison said.

Castiel stepped forward and placed a hand on Grant's side.

Addison watched as her father doubled over in pain and held onto his ribs as they continued to ache and burn from all the carvings.

Once everyone had the enochian on their ribs, Addison said goodbye to her parents and grandmother.

Once she ported back to her heaven she realized how drained she felt. She hadn't felt that tired and weak since she was human.

"What were you thinking? Leaving your family with the King of Hell?" Castiel asked, his voice raised.

"I was thinking quickly. I needed a place to drop them off that was already angel proofed…" She admitted.

"You cannot trust him." Castiel warned her.

"I don't, not really." Addison responded.

"Then why would you even consider going to him for help?" He asked.

"Because he knows I'm capable of killing him. The worst threat to him is death… it's simple Cas. I threaten his life, he does what I want." Addison explained.

"That's an ignorant way of thinking." Her lectured.

"It is not. I survived the day… I kept my family alive, and you're still alive. It worked out fine." She said.

"I went to your parent's lake house. I saw the angel… he had been tortured, his power ripped straight from his being." Castiel informed her.

"I had to find out what Raphael wanted with bringing my parents back to life." Addison told him.

"Crowley isn't the one to help you… I will help you with anything you need Addison." Castiel told her.

"Really? Because I remember trying to get you to come with me when my grandmother called for our help and you said you were too busy." Addison reminded him.

"I didn't know how severe the situation was." He admitted to her.

Addison let out a heavy sigh, followed with a yawn as she started to feel dizzy.

"Why are you so weak?" He asked her.

"Well, it's been a constant fight these past few days." She reasoned.

"With the power you tore from that angel, you should be at nearly full strength." He said a confused look on his face.

"I didn't tear the angel's power out for myself…" She answered without thinking.

"For Crowley? You gave him all of that power?" He asked shocked.

"He's a demon, I had to make a deal before he'd help me. All he wanted was the power of one little angel, he got that and I got what I needed." Addison said, downplaying the situation.

"You have grown overly-confident in your actions, Addison. It's dangerous." Castiel told her.

"I am not overly-confident." She argued.

"Crowley, told me you kissed him." Castiel said.

Addison looked at him.

"It was an innocent mistake on my part… he tricked me. He told me a kiss was the only way to transfer the power of the angel to him." Addison admitted to him.

"You are the only one of your kind Addison, the only Nephilim to be this strong and to survive you're 21st birthday. You are rare… there will probably never be another like you." He explained.

"All the more reason to feel alone, I don't fit in anywhere." She breathed out.

"What I'm trying to tell you is that, you could easily be dangerous against heaven. You're deadly to angels… Crowley knows this." Cas told her.

"And I know that Crowley can't be trusted." Addison argued back with him.

"You said it yourself, Crowley tricked you tonight… how many more of these innocent mistakes on your part until he tricks you into something larger?" He asked her.

"That's not going to happen…" she continued to stand her ground.

"He has been around for centuries…" Castiel began to say.

"I don't care how old he is. He's a demon! A cloud of smoke possessing a human being, at the end of the day it doesn't matter how smart, or how old he is. He is still a demon and I can take him down. A demon is a demon." Addison confidently said.

"He is smart, how do you think he's been around for so long? Climbed his way to the top and took post as King of Hell? You are underestimating him, and that could be a deadly mistake." Castiel warned her.

"You are underestimating me." She said, shaking her head.

"You're young…you got too strong, too fast. You aren't able to fully grasp the severity of your actions right now. Stealing the weapons of heaven you managed to find, going to Crowley for help… these are deadly mistakes." He continued to lecture.

"No, they are conscious decisions I made to get ahead. Okay? We are fighting a war and you're gone all the time. I have no idea where the hell you are half the time. Everyone was trying to get their hands on heavens weapons, I simply grabbed the ones I could find." She said.

"And hid them from me." He reminded her.

"No, I didn't hide them. They were in a box under my bed. I didn't tell you because I know you would have taken them from me. And it's a good thing I had them, or Raphael would have killed you." Addison pointed out, getting more angry and tired.

"You are being reckless." He stated.

"You're being unfair to me. After everything I've done to help you, everything that I've sacrificed since the day I met you and you're really going to tell me I'm playing out of me league here?" She asked.

He was silent as he watched her.

"I have to sleep… I think I'm about to pass out or something." Addison said, feeling even weaker as the room started to spin.

He watched her as she stumbled down the hallway in her heaven, and crawled into her bed.

**~(3 days later)~**

Castiel stood in the living room of Addison's apartment, in her heaven. He thought to himself how strange it was that her record player wasn't on.

Making his way down the short hallway he saw she was huddled up under her blankets.

"Addison?" He questioned.

"Can you just leave me the hell alone? I'm sick of fighting with you." She snapped.

"Why are you in bed?" He asked her.

"I'm sick." She responded.

"You're a Nephilim, you don't get sick." He replied.

"Well, then I guess you don't know as much as you think, because I was human for a long time and I know what it feels like to be sick." She replied as she shivered under her heavy blanket.

"You should be better by now; you should be back at full strength." He said, confused.

"I feel worse than I did." She admitted, as she coughed.

"Something isn't right." He said.

For the past 3 days every time he got around her, they did nothing but fight.

She sighed heavily and threw her blanket off of her.

Weakly she stood to her feet and walked over to her closet.

"I am so sick of this. I'm sick of feeling like I'm on my deathbed, I'm sick of you not appreciating me, and the way you act like I don't know anything." She said as she grabbed an arm full of clothes and dropped it on her bedspread.

"What are you doing?" He questioned.

"And you know what? Most of all I am sick of you." She growled. She couldn't remember every feeling so weak or sick, and he kept making everything worse.

"You're angry with me because I keep telling you things you don't want to hear, but it's the truth." He replied.

"I'm angry with you for a lot of reasons." She said as she gathered the ends of her blanket around the pile of clothes.

"I don't like it when you're upset with me." He said as he took a step towards her.

Her green eyes were narrowed in anger at him, she wasn't even sure why she felt so mad at him, or why she wasn't getting any better.

"I'm doing us both a favor, and I'm leaving." She explained.

His eyes widened slightly as he looked to the blanket holding her clothes.

"You can't leave… the last time you tried to take a break from me, you almost ended up dead." He said, shaking his head back and forth.

"I can leave and I am leaving. I set up another angel and demon proofed house in case something happens with the one my family is in… I'm going there." She admitted to him.

"You aren't well, Addison. You can't go off on your own, at least tell me where the house is." He instructed.

"Why? So you can show up every single day and tell me how arrogant I've gotten? Remind me that I'm some sort of freak, and I don't belong in heaven or on earth? Keep telling me how reckless I am, when all I am trying to do is help you fight this war? Have you nit-pick over my every decision because I'm young?" She snapped at him.

He looked even more confused.

"That's not what I've been saying to you, at all." He said, confused as how she had gathered that from what he said.

"Well, that's all I keep hearing from you. Is how I'm not smart enough, or strong enough, how naive I am because I'm young." She explained.

"Addison…" He started to say as he shook his head back and forth.

She cut him off as she picked her blanket up, with her clothes inside, "Goodbye, Cas."

His eyes widened as he looked around the empty bedroom of her heaven.

He concentrated and tried to locate her, but she was in a house hidden from angels and he couldn't find her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- **_**I hope you guys all liked the new chapter. ^_^**_

_**I have a new Castiel/OC story 'Blue Burns Orange' and don't forget to check out my Polyvore account. The link is up on my profile, I make sets to go along with my stories.**_

**And I also have a few Teen Wolf stories posted too!**

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know if you read the chapter. Your support means the world to me, and you all are truly my motivation to keep writing and posting updates. **


	44. Sleep Until the Sun Goes Down

**Part Forty Four.**

"_Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." ~ Marianne Williamson_

* * *

><p>The next day Addison was feeling a little better, but still pretty drained and weak.<p>

Sitting in her living room at the house, she was wondering about whether she should go see Castiel or not. She said some things she regretted saying to him, but she still was mad at him.

Her green eyes widened as she heard Dean's voice inside of her head.

His voice was accompanied by an annoying ringing sound that she couldn't shake, finally she ported to Dean.

He was leaned up against his car in a hotel parking lot.

"What the hell did you do?" She asked, confused.

"It worked." He exclaimed surprised.

"What worked?" She asked.

"I prayed to you for help… like I do to Cas, only you answered." Dean informed her.

"I didn't know if you were alive, if your family made it out…" He started to explain.

"We're all fine." She exclaimed.

"I'm sorry for what I said before, your right. You've always helped me and Sam when you could, and I didn't have a right to act like that." Dean explained.

"Am I arrogant?" She questioned.

He raised his eyebrows.

"No, you're not stuck up." Dean replied.

"No Dean. I mean like… am I overly confident with my abilities?" She asked.

He was quiet for a few moments.

"No, I mean… you've been doing really good with everything." Dean half-lied. He didn't want to upset her, but he also thought she was getting cocky with her power.

"Good, because I'm not over confident and Cas is wrong." She said through gritted teeth.

"You two are… fighting?" Dean asked.

"I've been hiding in an angel proofed house… we did nothing but fight for 3 days." She explained.

"Anyways, why did you pray to me?" She asked.

"That's not my brother in there." Dean said, nodding towards the hotel door.

"He has been acting really strange." Addison agreed.

"Well, I'm glad you're with me on this. Bobby's playing it off, Cas is all out ignoring me. I need help Addy." He told her.

"What do you need me to do?" She questioned.

"Help me figure out what that is, because it sure as hell aint Sam." Dean said.

"Okay… I'll help you." She said.

"Hey guys." Sam said as he walked out of the hotel room.

"Good morning." Addison greeted.

"What are you doing here, Addison?" Sam questioned looking to her.

"I'm helping Dean with a case." She answered.

"Her and Cas are fighting, so she's going to tag along with us for a little while…" Dean cut in.

"You and Cas are fighting?" Sam asked looking at her.

"He thinks I'm arrogant and too young." Addison explained.

"Okay?" Sam said, confused.

"So… what case are we working?" Addison asked.

"Check this out; 4 people out of nowhere all died, killed themselves." Sam said.

"Sounds like a plan, let's go." Dean agreed.

Addison nodded and got into the backseat of the impala.

They investigated the murders and found out that people were speaking the truth to the victims, telling them everything they thought about the person; whether it mean or not.

"So root canal and Russian roulette… both of them like they were cursed, right? I mean it's like people were compelled to puke the truth all over them." Dean observed.

"Getting hit with the ugly truth till you go postal? Yeah, I'd call that a curse. Sam agreed.

The next day Sam went to check the bodies at the morgue, Addison was sitting at a bar with Dean.

"So what do you think is wrong with Sam?" Addison asked him.

"Lucifer." Dean admitted.

"You think it's the devil?" Addison questioned.

Dean nodded as he took a drink from his beer.

"You're wrong Dean, it's not Lucifer or the angels would know. It has to be something else." Addison told him.

"Like what?" Dean asked.

"I have no idea." She admitted.

"All I want is the freaking truth." Dean grumbled as he ordered a shot and drank it down.

"Well, if Cas would answer me when I called, he might be able to help." Dean grumbled.

"Cas has bigger issues than your problems with your brother." Addison said.

Dean looked at her confused.

"Uhh…" He started to say but she cut him off.

"I mean honestly, you know he's in the middle of a war and you're being selfish. Expecting him to come everytime you call him. And frankly Dean, with the way you treat him I wouldn't help you either. In fact, I'm still mad at you for what you said and how you treated me. I'm really only helping you right now because I'm bored and still hiding from Cas, and the last place he'll be is around you." Addison bluntly said.

"Well don't sugar coat it." Dean said, looking at her shocked.

"Oh my god… I'm… not one bit sorry I said that. We all know you've been going through a lot with Ben and Lisa and with Sam now, but honestly you have this tendency to think that your problems outweigh everyone else's and they don't." She continued to ramble.

"Addison?" Dean said, looking at her.

Her green eyes widened and she shook her head back and forth, covering her mouth with her hand before she said anything else mean to him.

"I'll have another." Dean said to the bartender as he shook his empty shot glass.

"Sometimes I think I can't get pregnant because god knows my marriage is a sham." The bartender told them.

Addison looked at the bartender wide eyed.

"I don't know why I just told you that." She said.

"I mean I've been snorting oxy all day." She continued, before her eyes grew bigger and the bartender continued, "Why'd I say that?"

Looking over to Addison who still had her hand cupped over her mouth, Dean said "I'm pretty sure I know."

He realized when he asked for the truth, that's what he was getting from everyone.

Once they were back in the car Addison said, "You know, I love my parents but really I wished they'd stayed dead."

Dean looked over at her.

"I had dealt with their loss and now they're back and my dad is still on about my painting and not going to college. I'm a freaking Nephilim… the strongest one yet and I'm still just not good enough." She continued.

"Addison…" Dean started to cut in.

"You know, Dean. I love Cas more than anything else, but sometimes I wish I would have just died before all this angel and demon crap started. I mean, I try so hard to seem like I've adapted to all of this… but I haven't. It's all an act… and I'm nowhere as confident as I seem." She continued.

Dean sighed heavily, "This is going to be a very long car ride…"

"I'm uncomfortable around you." She admitted.

"What? Why?" Dean asked, surprised at the statement.

"It's the way you look at me, you've been checking me out since the day I met you… and it makes me uncomfortable." She said.

Dean glanced over at her.

"Uhh… I'm sorry…" He breathed out, she was making him uncomfortable by pointing it out.

"But what makes it all even more awkward is the fact that I like the attention from you. I mean, you're really freaking hot… and it's not like I've never thought about hooking up with you, but you're my friend and that's how I want it to stay. And I'm so deeply in love with Cas that it's almost unhealthy." She said, not able to stop herself.

Her eyes widened, "Oh my god…"

He looked over just in time to see her port from the car.

"There you are, where's Dean?" Sam asked when Addison appeared beside him.

"Driving here." She admitted.

"I thought you were riding with him." Sam said.

"Yeah, until I just died of embarrassment like a minute ago. It's less awkward to be here with you." She said nodding.

"What happened?" Sam asked her.

"I'm not going to talk about it." Addison said firmly.

"Okay. Well, I found this." Sam said displaying a box.

"Oh my god… is that a cat skull?" She asked her eyes wide.

"Yeah." Sam nodded.

A little while later Dean showed up.

Addison avoided his eyes as she said, "Sam found this box with a cat skull."

"It can wait, Sam we need to talk." Dean said.

Addison looked at Dean wide eyed, she knew he was using the curse to make everyone be honest with him in his favor to get Sam to tell him what's going on.

"Okay, what up?" Sam asked his brother.

"I have a few things to ask you and I need you be honest." Dean said.

Addison quietly followed them down the stairs, hoping she'd be able to stop admitting things to Dean.

"Of course Dean, what are you talking about?" Sam asked him.

"When that vamp attacked me, why did you just stand there?" Dean asked.

"I didn't... I froze." Sam responded.

"You froze? You've been Terminator since you got back." Dean pointed out.

"I don't know… shock? But then it was too late." Sam explained.

Addison watched them talk.

Back at their hotel that night, Dean looked at the cat skull.

"So this was the chicks pet?" Dean asked.

"Well she was obsessed." Sam said as he looked at the computer.

They figured out that Veritas the goddess of truth had been invoked, and anyone in the town who asked for the truth would get what they asked for.

Once the victim kills themselves from being slammed with the truth, she gets their death as a sacrifice and her tribute.

"That's why the bodies disappeared from the morgue." Addison observed.

They figured out that the goddess was likely speaking to the masses from a job position with a news station.

As they followed the news reporter Ashley Frank to her house, Addison said. "I need to tell you guys something."

"Addy, really? Now's the worst time for talking." Dean said looking at her in the rearview mirror.

"You're just uncomfortable now that I pointed out our mutual attraction. But it means nothing, I won't ever act on it." She stated still forced to spill the truth to him.

"Whoa…" Sam breathed out, stifling a laugh.

"Anyways, I'm not at full power. I'm not sure what happened to me, but it's like I'm barely holding enough strength and power to get around. I don't know how much help I'll be." She admitted.

After Sam and Dean dipped their knifes in dog blood Addison followed them into house.

As they made their way into the dining room Addison whispered, "This entire house is beautiful. The architecture alone is a work of art, and the way she decorated it is amazing."

"We're here to gank the goddess, not for you to admire the interior design." Dean said, his voice quiet.

"Sorry." She said.

"Where's all the creep?" Sam questioned as the house looked normal.

The trio continued to make their way up the stairs of the house.

They stumbled into the room with all the bodies of the victims.

"You came for dinner." Veritas said as she entered the room and used her powers to send them flying across from the room.

When they came to, they saw that Veritas had chained them to the rails against the walls.

"Sit tight. You're up next." She said with a smile as she pointed to Dean.

Addison struggled against her ropes. She tried to use her powers to port out, or break her ropes but she couldn't; she had gotten to weak again.

Addison watched with a disgusted look on her face as the goddess pulled the tongue form the mouth of a dead victim.

Holding it up with a pair of tongs she said, "The tongue is the tastiest part. It's where the lies roll off."

"I'm gonna be sick." Addison mumbled as the goddess began to eat the tongue in front of them.

"I can't wait to eat yours. I mean, I've seen liars before… but you two?" She said looking to Sam and Dean.

"Well, while you three still have your tongues… how bout we play a little truth or truth?" She said smiling.

"Hmm… what should we ask Dean first? Something person about you?" The goddess asked looking to Sam.

Looking back to Dean, Veritas said "Hey, Dean. I'm curious what do you really feel about your brother?"

"Better now. As of yesterday I wanted to kill him in his sleep, I thought he was a monster. But now I think he's just acting like me." Dean admitted.

Addison looked between Sam and Dean.

"What about this one? What do you think about her?" She asked, motioning to where Addison was tied up.

"That she's overly-confident with her powers, and too cocky about what she is. She's just asking for trouble." Dean admitted.

Addison's jaw dropped as she looked at him.

"I'm asking for trouble? Look who's talking, half the time I'm not sure if you're working a case or looking for assisted suicide!" Addison shot at him.

"So Sam, walking back into your life must have been a relief." Veritas said, interrupting Dean and Addison's fight.

"How do you feel about reuniting with your brother?" She asked.

"What we do is hard, but we watch out for each other and that's what important." Sam said.

Addison groaned at his simple answer, she was so mad at herself for saying hurtful things to Dean.

"You're not fun… those two however…" She said as she turned back to Dean and Addison.

"Share with the class how you feel about being more Nephilim than human." She said, smirking.

Addison swallowed hard.

"I'm scared. Scared to admit it because I don't want to hurt Cas, but honestly most days I wish I had just died instead of staying alive. Because now I don't know where I'll go when I die." Addison admitted.

"Well go on… don't stop there." Veritas instructed, as she made her spill more truth.

"I gave up my chance at heaven, my only shot at peace to stay with Cas… and I kind of regret it some days, he's been acting weird. But then there are days I can't imagine it being any other way. But I can't admit that I'm upset for losing my shot at heaven, because then I have to admit it to myself and I can't handle these things." She informed the room.

"Leave her alone." Dean said, as he watched Addison struggle against her ropes.

"Oh Dean… always the hero." The goddess said as she walked back over to where Dean was.

"But Dean what do you think about her choices?" She asked him.

"I think she's naïve, she's too trusting and honestly I'm scared for her. I like Cas, he's my friend… but I think she's making a mistake and trying too hard to help him. She always tries too hard with people." Dean said, unable to stop himself.

"I do the best that I can, I'm trying to handle so much, and I wasn't raised to be a hunter or to fight a civil war." She shot back at him.

"If you can't handle the life, than get out. You may have been dragged into all this but you could have walked away… you just keep coming back for more hits." Dean said.

"And what? Find someone and settle down like you tried to do with Ben and Lisa? We all see how well that worked out for you!" She retorted.

"I thought I wanted out of the life, wanted a family. But I'm not a father, I'm a killer. Slicing throats is what I'm good at… I can't be normal." Dean admitted.

Looking back to Sam the goddess said, "What do you think about Addison?"

"She means well, Dean's right… she might be a little naive about things but she's doing good." He said.

She cocked her head to the side and looked at him. "You're lying."

"You said yourself I can't lie." Sam retorted.

"How are you doing that?" She asked shocked.

"I'm telling the truth." Sam defended.

Addison and Dean watched him with wide eyes.

"You're not human…" Veritas said.

While the goddess had been distracted by Dean and Addison spilling the truth, Sam had been cutting the ropes binding his wrists with a switchblade.

He threw the knife behind Dean so he could cut his own ropes and he attacked Veritas.

Addison watched from where she was still bound to the wall as they successfully killed the goddess.

Walking over Dean picked up a knife and cut the ropes binding her wrists.

"Thank you." She said.

He extended a hand and pulled her to her feet.

"Dean… I am so sorry. I can't believe I said any of that to you." Addison said as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry too…" He agreed as he nodded.

Holding on the knife he turned to Sam, "You are not my brother."

"It's me, Dean." Sam said.

"What are you?" Dean asked.

"I'm me… let me explain." Sam said backing away from the knife.

"Why should I believe anything that you say?" Dean questioned.

"You want the truth? Here it is: I let you get turned by that vamp…because I knew there was a cure Dean, and I know you could handle it." Sam said.

"Ever since I came back I've been a better hunter because nothing scares me anymore… I can't feel it." Sam admitted to him.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I need help." Sam said

Dean dropped the knife and punched Sam in the face.

Her eyes widened but she didn't interfere as she watched Dean beat his younger brother until he was unconscious.

Dean stood up and looked at his bloody fists, with tears in his eyes as he looked around the room.

"Hey… let's get him back to the hotel… I'll call Cas for you and we'll figure something out." Addison assured him.

"There has to be a way to fix this." Addison said as she rested her hand on his arm.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- **_**Thank you so much for reading! I hope everyone liked the update!**_

_**If anyone watches Teen Wolf, I now have 2 Teen Wolf fanfictions up titled 'Young Blood' and 'Once in A Blue Moon If you check it out, please take a few moments to let me know what you thought.**_

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know if you read and liked this chapter. This is still one of my favorite stories to write, and I hope you're all still liking it too. ^_^**


	45. Stealing is a Crime

**Part Forty Five.**

"_Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it would be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it." ~ Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window  
><em>

* * *

><p>"What did you do to Addison?" Castiel asked as he appeared in the room with Crowley.<p>

Crowley looked down to the dead monster he had finished torturing.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"She hasn't been well since she was around you… what did you do?" Castiel asked.

Crowley's lips slowly spread into a smug smirk.

"I'm teaching her a lesson." Crowley explained.

"What did you do?" Castiel asked, furious at him.

"I may have worded our deal in a way that I'd have a little leeway to pull more power from her than just the bit of power she stole from the angel." Crowley admitted, at seeing how mad Cas was.

"You… you're syphoning her power? That can kill her Crowley." Castiel yelled.

"Relax mate, I'm not going to kill her… just keeping her severely weakened and I'd say she's probably in a state of misery from being so weak and helpless." Crowley said still smirking.

"How did you even get her to exchange blood with you?" Castiel asked him. Knowing the only way Crowley could continue to take her power would be if they swapped blood.

Crowley smiled remembering how he tricked her with the kiss, and bit his own tongue, and then bit hers.

"Break the connection, and stop draining her." Castiel demanded.

"She threatened me." Crowley defended.

"And I will kill you to break the connection." Castiel assured him.

Crowley's jaw tensed in anger as he shook his head back and forth, "You two…"

"Come on mate… think about it. You spend so much time worried about her, how much trouble can she possibly get herself into if she's barely strong enough to stay awake? Could be beneficial…" Crowley offered.

"Stop draining her power." Castiel warned.

"Honestly Cas, she's becoming a bit of a liability don't you think? We should go ahead and take her out of the game now." Crowley told him.

"Kill her?" Castiel asked shocked.

"She's got you distracted with worrying about her… your head isn't in the game and we need to step it up to get Purgatory." Crowley told him.

"Addison is to be left alone, if you so much as try to hurt her… I will tear this all down." Castiel warned.

"And what do you think will happen when she finds out about this? That you've been working with me behind her back? You think she's still going to believe in you, Castiel?" Crowley said.

"Break the connection with her now, and stop syphoning her powers." Castiel re-stated.

With a heavy, irritated sigh Crowley snapped his fingers and stopped stealing Addison's energy.

"Done." Crowley said.

"Now stay away from her, Crowley." Castile warned.

"I've been trying; in case you were unaware she has this aggravating habit of always threatening to kill me!" Crowley shouted.

"She keeps coming to me; she dumped her resurrected parents in my living room. You need to tell her to stay away from me." Crowley told him.

"I have! I have told her countless times not to go near you." Castiel said.

"Well, then train her a little better because she's not listening." Crowley yelled.

**~[{}]~**

On the drive back to the hotel Addison fell asleep; she woke up as Dean pulled into the parking lot.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"I'm… better than okay. I'm starting to feel like me again… not so weak." She admitted, confused as to what had happened.

As they got Sam's unconscious body tied to a chair, Addison looked at Dean and shifted uncomfortably on the floor.

"So, umm… are we just going to pretend this whole truth thing never happened?" She asked.

"Yeah." He said nodding.

"Good." Addison breathed out.

"So you gonna call Cas?" Dean asked her.

"Yeah." Addison said as she walked over to the sink and rolled her sleeves up.

Dean watched as she scrubbed some symbols off her arm she had drawn on herself to stay hidden from Cas.

"Cas… I really need your help." She called out in to the room as she dried her arm off.

He immediately appeared in the room.

"I have been searching for you, for days…" He informed her.

"I didn't want to be found." Addison said.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked, searching her face with his eyes.

"Actually yeah." She admitted.

"Crowley was siphoning your energy… when you made the deal to give him the power from that angel; he tricked you into a deal to let him have access to your power." Castiel informed her.

"Did you kill him?" She questioned.

"No, he broke the connection. You should be to full power within a few days." Castiel told her.

"Thank you." She said.

He nodded.

"I'm really sorry about the way I was acting… you're right, I've gotten too confident with my powers and I put myself in danger. I'm sorry for doing that to you." Addison said her eyes showed her honesty.

"And I am sorry to upset you." He replied.

She smiled and nodded.

"Does this mean you're done taking a break from me?" He asked her.

She let out a small laugh and nodded.

"I'm relieved." Castiel said to her.

Addison stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, smiling against his shirt as he held onto her.

"Ummm. I still need help with Sam." Dean informed them.

"I don't know anything, Dean." Castiel said as he let go of her and turned to face him.

"Look, I'm with Dean on this… something is seriously wrong with Sam." Addison agreed.

Together they explained most of what happened with the goddess.

It was a little while later when Sam started to come to.

"You did this?" Castiel questioned Dean as he leaned down and looked at Sam.

"Cas?" Sam asked confused, when he realized he was tied down to the chair.

"Has he been feverish?" Castiel asked.

"Have you?" Dean yelled.

"No, why?" Sam asked.

"Is he speaking in tongues?" Castile asked.

"Not that I've noticed." Addison answered.

"Why? Wait… are you diagnosing me?" Sam questioned.

"You better hope he can." Dean answered.

"How much do you sleep?" Cas asked Sam.

"I don't." He finally answered.

"At all?" Dean asked.

"Not since I got back." Sam told them.

Addison noticed the look on Castiel's face.

"What's wrong?" She asked him.

"Sam, what are you feeling?" Castiel asked him.

"Ha, well I feel like my nose is broken." He told them, glancing to Dean.

"No that's a psychical sensation. I mean how are you feeling?" Castiel asked him.

"I don't know." Sam admitted.

After a few moments Castiel looked at Dean before taking his belt off.

"Wha… uh…?" Sam started to question but Castiel folded the leather belt and put it in Sam's mouth.

"This will be unpleasant. If there's someplace you find soothing, you should go there." Castiel instructed, as he placed one hand on his shoulder and the other hand he slowly pushed into Sam's upper abdomen.

"Did you find anything?" Dean asked him.

"No." Cas said as he picked his belt back up.

"So that's good news?" Dean questioned.

"I'm afraid not. Physically he's perfectly healthy… but it's his soul, it's missing." Cas told them.

"He's soulless?" Addison gasped.

"Somehow when Sam was resurrected it was without his soul." Castiel said.

"Why? Who or what the hell would have pulled him from that cage but left his soul behind?" Addison thought out loud.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she missed the slight look of shame in Cas's eyes as he looked over to her.

"So is he even still Sam?" Dean asked.

"Well, you pose an interesting philosophical question." Cas replied.

"You guys can get it back…" Dean said looking between them.

"We can't." Castiel responded.

"You pulled me out of the pit." Dean said.

"It took several angels to rescue you, and you weren't nearly as well guarded as Sam's soul will be in Lucifer's cage." Castiel pointed out.

"What's the difference?" He asked.

"There's a difference, a big difference it's not possible." Castiel told him.

**~[{}]~**

"What the hell are you doing?" She gasped, as she looked around the room in the prison where Crowley was torturing monsters for information on purgatory.

"Having a bit of fun." He responded, irritated at her for showing up.

"That's what you demons do, torture monsters to get your rocks off?" She questioned.

"What do you want?" He asked as he faced her.

"To give you a message." She said.

"From who?" He questioned.

"Me." Addison told him.

Taking a few steps closer to him she said, "If you even try to take any of my powers again… I will kill you, Crowley."

"You'd better mind your tongue, Addison. I'm the King of Hell… you're a confused half-breed who severely over-estimates your own power." Crowley shot at her.

"You drained my energy, you tried to kill me!" She yelled.

"We both know if what were the case you'd already be dead… I was trying to teach you lesson; prove a point." He admitted.

"And what kind of point is that?" She asked, her eyebrows raised at him.

"That you are not near as capable, intelligent or ingenious as you believe yourself to be." Crowley told her.

"I'm not going to stand here and listen to this… you're a demon, I don't care if you're King of Hell, or some everyday black eyed freak. At the end of the day, you are nothing more than a cloud of smoke, and if you do anything against me I will squash you like the bug you are." She confidently said.

"Get out… while you still can." He growled through gritted teeth, barely able to contain his anger.

"No. Because I'm still not sure if I'm going to kill you." She told him honestly.

"Addison!" His voice echoed through the room.

Using her powers she easily brought him to his knees, groaning in pain as he began to cough up blood.

"Stop threatening me, we both know I can kill you." Addison said.

Once she released her hold on him he rose to his feet, his eyes dark as he stared at her.

Waving his hand, she flew across the room her body collided violently with the hard, cement wall.

She fell the ground with a groan of pain as she felt her broken bones snap back into place.

"You shouldn't have done that." She hissed as she got ready to hit him with another blast of her power.

But he used his own abilities on her and she fell back to the floor.

She cried out in pain, as she continuously coughed up blood, soon blood was running from her nose too and she couldn't breathe.

Tears burned her eyes, and her body convulsed against the floor in excruciating pain.

He kept it up for almost 10 minutes when he finally stopped.

She gasped for air and lay almost unable to move on the floor; she looked down to the floor as she continued to cough up the blood that was caught in her throat.

Finally she weakly rolled over on her back and looked up to the ceiling, still fighting for a breath.

"Stop trying to fool yourself, Addison. You're nowhere near adept enough to fight me now, I am the King of Hell… you are insignificant. No one likes Nephilim, the only reason the angels haven't killed you is because of your angel boy. You're far from invincible." He said as he took a few steps to where she lay on the floor.

Using what power she had left she ported herself into the safety of her heaven.

Weakly she fell to the floor in her apartment; she stayed on her back staring up at the ceiling.

Close to an hour later Castiel ported to her.

"Addison? What happened?" He asked as he knelt down beside her and looked at her blood covered face.

"I really am overly-confident in my abilities… over shot my strength." She breathed out.

"What happened?" He asked her again.

"I got my ass kicked." She admitted, even though she was physically exhausted, and in pain; her pride was more hurt than anything.

"He's a damn demon… how can I not be as strong as he is?" Addison asked tears burning her eyes.

"Demon? Crowley… he did this to you?" Castiel put it together.

"I just went to warn him against trying to trick me again, and he was in this prison thing torturing a vampire… or some creature." Addison said.

Castiel's eyes widened, fearing she may have pieced it together and figured out they were in the search for Purgatory together.

"Handing him the power of an angel didn't help Addison, that was a lot of power combined with the immense power he already possesses as the King of Hell." Castiel told her.

"Obviously… he kicked my ass." She repeated.

"This is why I was warning you to stay away from him…" Castiel reminded her.

"I know, but it just seemed easy. I'm a Nephilim and he's a demon, I should easily be able to hurt and kill him but it didn't happen that way." She said.

He was a little relieved that she was so distracted by her own thoughts and disappointment that she hadn't given much thought to why Crowley was torturing the monsters.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- ****Thank you for reading, I really hope you all liked the chapter. **

**I have a few Teen Wolf stories up on my page, if you're interested in reading them. ^_^**

**I'd really love it if you'd take the time to leave me a review and let me know you're still reading this story. It's still one of my favorites to write, and I'm working really hard to update regularly. Your support is what keeps me writing and posting these updates, so please take a few moments to let me know you're still reading. ^_^**


	46. Paper Moon

**Part Forty Six.**

"_People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I've learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one's reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one's master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person's view requires to be faked…The man who lies to the world, is the world's slave from then on…There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all." ~Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Hey, sorry I've not been answering when you called. Been really busy." Addison admitted as she appeared in the hotel room with Sam and Dean.<p>

It had been close to a month since she had last seen them.

"Well, at least you showed up, with an apology. More than I can say for Cas." Dean responded with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Things have been even worse in heaven, Raphael's closing in and he almost got us. We barely got away." She admitted, defending Castiel's actions.

Dean nodded, but his eyes were still dark.

"What's up?" she asked looking back and forth between the brothers.

"Not much… just been working for Crowley." Dean said, his voice bitter.

"Wait… you've been what?" She asked shocked.

"He's the one who pulled me from the cage… or at least part of me." Sam explained.

"Bastard." She breathed out shaking her head back and forth.

"He says if we bring him monsters he'll return my soul." Sam continued.

"Yeah… I walked in on him torturing monsters a few times. I have no idea why he's doing it though." She explained.

"You don't know?" Sam asked surprised.

"Know what?" She asked.

"The idiots trying to crack open Purgatory." Dean told her.

Her eyes widened as she remembered Crowley trying to get Castiel to help him, but Castiel had told him no.

Briefly her mind drifted back to the way Castiel had been acting strange and a little distant for a while now. She quickly pushed the thoughts from her head, telling herself that there was no way he had gone behind her back and entered into a deal with a demon.

"What does that have to do with me?" She asked, still half lost in her own thoughts.

"Uhhh, well… we need you to find him for us. Or hell, kill him. If we don't help him not only is he not going to return my soul, he's going to throw me back in the cage." Sam said.

"He's made it clear he owns him." Dean filled in.

"I… I can't." she admitted.

"What do you mean you can't? Why won't you help us?" Dean asked, confused at her reaction.

"It's not that I won't, it's that I can't Dean. He's the King of Hell." She pointed out.

"And you're a Nephilim…" Dean argued with her.

Sighing heavily she said, "I'm not as strong as him I guess… a few weeks ago I went to confront him about draining my powers and we got into a fight. I'm not proud to admit it, but honestly… he kicked my ass. He almost killed me."

"He what?" Dean asked angrily.

"I don't know how he's so strong… I guess all the power with being the King of Hell now. At first I thought it was some name he'd made up for himself to feel important, but he's so much stronger than he was before." She said looking between them.

"Okay, so help us find him and we'll all go against him." Dean said.

She nodded.

"It may take some time, but I'll do what I can." She said, before disappearing from the room.

**~()~()~**

"I can't believe you're actually trying to open Purgatory." Addison said with sigh as she stood behind Crowley in his living room.

With a heavy sigh he turned and faced her.

"Haven't you learned your lesson?" He questioned as he took a drink from his glass.

She avoided his eyes still embarrassed he was able to overpower her with his abilities.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked him shaking her head back and forth.

"I'm a little busy, so if you don't mind… leave." He said bluntly.

Biting her bottom lip she finally looked at him and said, "Is Cas working with you?"

He raised his eyebrows knowing that was the real reason she had shown up.

"Trouble is paradise? Don't trust your angel boy?" He questioned.

"Of course I trust him… and not that it's any of your business, but things are fine with us." She told him.

"Then why are you here?" He asked taking a step towards her.

"There's… jut some things that don't quite add up and I just need to know the truth." She admitted, seeming more vulnerable in front of him than ever before.

"You're getting weak." Crowley accused.

"I am not." She said, but her voice wasn't as confident as it had been.

"You are." He argued with her.

"Please Crowley… just tell me the truth." She said, her light green eyes meeting his darker green eyes.

"Someone's finally found their manners." Crowley remarked as he turned and walked down a hallway into a study.

She followed him.

"What do you want me to do, Crowley?" She asked, as she faced him with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I could think of several things." He responded, smirking at her.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance but her cheeks took on a slight pink tint.

"I'm serious…" She began to say, but he cut her off.

"So am I." he said.

"Do you want me to apologize for the way I've treated you? Because I'm sorry… I got a big head and a bigger ego from my powers being stronger, and I was foolish to act the way I did. Just please be honest with me." She said, her words and tone so sincere that it caught him off guard.

"I don't want an apology." He stated.

"Then what do you want; me to get on my knees and beg you? I mean honestly what the hell could you possibly want, all I need is an answer." She said.

His smug smile grew.

"Well, if you really want to get on your knees…" He began to say but she cut him off.

"Shut up!" she yelled, not wanting him to finish his sentence.

He let out a small laugh and shook his head.

"Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?" He asked, his voice low as he took a few steps towards her.

She stood her ground.

"No… I just find you repulsive." She said.

He shook his head back and forth, still amused at making her squirm.

"An answer Crowley." She said, expectantly.

"I don't know what's going on with you and Cas, but obviously something's wrong if you're coming to me for your answers." He said before letting out a small sigh and continuing.

"You answer is no. But you already knew that because you were there, plus you're the one who set him against the idea." He lied.

"But the very next day he managed to beat Raphael and I don't know how he did it." She admitted to him.

"I already gave you your answer." Crowley said motioning to the open door behind her.

She didn't move.

"I'm the King of Hell not a marriage counselor… you're mistrust in him isn't my problem and I've got more important things to do then talk to you." He said, his tone gruff as he didn't like her poking her nose in his business.

"I do trust him." She argued with his words.

"Then get out of here, rest assured you've got your angel thoroughly whipped and he didn't make the deal with me because of you. So when Raphael kills him and brings on the apocalypse you've got no one to blame but yourself." Crowley said, trying to get her to leave.

She took one last look around his office before she ported to the heaven that Castiel preferred.

She sat down on the bench he always sat on when he was trying to think and sort through his thoughts.

She felt terrible for even considering that Castiel might have lied to her and worked with Crowley.

She had gone to the demon because she knew if she accused Cas of lying to her that it would hurt him and she wanted some answers.

Even though Crowley seemed entirely honest about the situation, there was still a part of her that knew something was wrong but she wasn't sure what the something was.

"Addison." Castiel said as he appeared standing in front of her.

She was silent and stared down at her hands folded in her lap.

"Are you alright?" Castiel asked her, confused by her behavior.

Standing up she took a deep breath and said, "I need to ask you something… but you're not going to like it and you'll be upset."

"What is it?" He asked growing concerned.

"I hate that I even have to ask you this… but things are different and something isn't right. I've been trying to push it off to stress of the war we're fighting and now we've got Sam and Dean calling us for help every other day and you've got soo much going on…" her voice trailed off.

"Addison?" Castiel questioned.

"Are you working with Crowley to open Purgatory?" she finally bluntly asked him.

She watched as his face shifted to a look she couldn't decipher.

"Why would you even ask me that?" He asked her.

"Just answer me." She pleaded.

"No, I'm not working with Crowley… you were there when we turned the deal down. How could you even consider I'd do that to you?" He asked, immediately feeling bad knowing his words would hurt her.

As much as he hated upsetting her, he needed to get her suspicion off of him before he was found out and she ruined the whole plan.

"I'm so sorry." She said pinning her eyes shut as she was overcome with guilt for doubting him for a second.

His face twisted with pain as he watched her. He knew it was wrong to make her feel guilt when he was the one lying, and going behind her back.

"Are you alright?" He asked her as he stood in front of her.

"I… I don't know whats wrong with me. You've never lied before and I've been so suspicious about everything and I'm so sorry, Cas. I went behind your back and talked to Crowley because I didn't want to hurt you by asking you. But demons lie and I had to ask you." She explained.

Reaching forward her held onto the sides of her face, taking a moment to appreciate and remember how much he loved feeling her soft flesh against his.

"I'm sorry." She apologized again to him.

"I forgive you." He said, knowing he was the one who should be asking for her forgiveness.

But he reasoned with himself that once it was all over and Raphael was dead, he could explain everything to Addison and she'd understand why he had to do it.

She nodded and her light green eyes stung with tears as she looked at him.

Leaning down he pressed a kiss to her lips.

**~(A few weeks later)~**

Addison took a deep breath and dropped the angel blade to the floor as she surveyed the dead angel secured to a chair in front of her.

After torturing the angel for answers on her dad's location, she had ripped the angels power out, the way that Crowley had showed her before.

"Hmm… What have you been doing?" Crowley asked as he appeared in the room behind her.

Spinning around her light green eyes were glowing from the new surge of power as she turned and faced him.

"I… uh…" she stopped unsure of what to say to him.

Crowley took a few steps forward and surveyed the mess of an angel behind her.

"Torturing?" He questioned.

She shifted uncomfortably and avoided his eyes.

"I certainly didn't expect this." He admitted, looking at her.

"The angels have my dad… I had to find out where they are keeping him." She admitted to him.

"Uh-huh." He said shaking his head back and forth.

"What?" She asked.

"Try to excuse it however you like…" He said, his voice trailing off.

"It's not an excuse… it's justifiable." She defended.

"Is it now? Because a few months ago you needed me to torture an angel for you because you couldn't stomach it." Her reminded her.

"We're not on friendly terms anymore." She retorted.

He let out a small laugh under his breath.

"And you stole that angel's power… for yourself." He said, nodding towards the dead body.

"Yes, I did." She admitted nodding.

"You beat me once… it's not going to happen again." She said, her eyes still slightly glowing as she looked at him.

"Like I said, form all the excuses you need to make yourself feel better about what you've become." He said, looking around the basement of the house.

"What I've become?" She questioned, thrown off by his statement.

"Yes, you've changed." He said as he looked down to the slightly dusty floor.

"I have not." She defended herself.

"Power corrupts, Addison." Crowley stated his tone was flat but there was a small smirk on his lips as he spoke.

"You're telling me… you've been a real ass since you took your post as King of Hell." She retorted with an arched eyebrow.

"I'm not talking about me and please, I'm as personable as I've always been." He replied.

"I'm not corrupted." She continued to argue with him.

"No?" He questioned.

"No." She said back to him.

"The longer you're away from humanity the less human you become. You'll keep going to greater extents to get what you want." He said his tone a little daunting.

"That's not true." She said, as she shook her head back and forth.

"You just don't want it to be true." He said.

"You are so full of…" She started to snap at him but he cut her off and raised his voice to talk over her.

"Tell me, Addison. How did you feel holding a life in your hands?" He questioned.

She was silent.

Taking a step towards her he continued, "Hearing screams of agony and knowing you're the cause of their pain? You liked it. You liked being in complete control of another living thing…"

Her breathing grew slightly labored as she tried to block out his words.

Moving even closer to her he said, "You want to believe that you're something special; pretend you're better than me, but the truth is we're a lot more alike than you want to admit."

She swallowed hard and looked at him as he stood now only inches in front of her.

"You're a demon." She snapped.

"And you're not human either." He reminded her, his tone confident as he spoke down to her.

"We are nothing alike… we couldn't be any more different." She tried to tell herself as she spoke out loud to him.

"You're changing whether you like it or not… the more power you take in the farther you're going into darkness." He said.

"You're just saying this because you don't want me to get any stronger… because you're afraid I'll come after you when I get strong enough." She reasoned.

"Doesn't change anything. You can't honestly tell me you didn't get a rush from that." He said, nodding towards the mutilated, dead angel.

Her eyes locked with his for a few seconds before she ported out of the room and away from him.

**~(A few days later)~**

"She finally shows." Dean remarked as he looked up from his computer screen.

"I'm sorry, I've been fighting… my genius dad decided he was sick of being holed up in the safe house and some angels snatched him. I had to get him back." She explained why she had been gone, but didn't go into detail of how she got her dad back.

"Cas… you're helping us get Crowley?" She asked surprised as she saw him sitting on the couch in the house.

"I don't understand… if the pizza man truly loves this babysitter why does he keep slapping her rear?" Castiel asked confused as he continued to stare at the T.V.

Addison's eyes widened.

"Perhaps she's done something wrong…" Castiel continued to say as he kept watching T.V.

Addison looked back and forth between everyone in the room.

"Why are you showing him porn?" She demanded to know looking at Dean.

"Why are you looking at me?" Dean questioned.

"You're watching porn, why?" Dean asked Castiel.

"It was there…" He replied, barely taking his eyes off the screen.

Addison looked back to Dean and shook her back and forth.

"You're not supposed to watch porn when you're with other people…" Addison told Cas as he continued to the watch the T.V.

"Have you watched this?" He questioned glancing up to her.

Her light green eyes widened and she hung her head as she breathed out, "Oh my god…"

"You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes, and you don't talk about it." Dean said to him.

Just then there was a knock on the door.

"Expecting someone?" Addison questioned.

Dean shook his head back and forth as he pulled his gun and started towards the door.

"Turn the T.V off." Addison ordered as she looked back to Castiel who was still watching porn.

Addison looked up to see Sam and Dean's grandfather Samuel walk in the house.

"Is this what you boys do? Sit around watching pornos with angels?" He questioned as he looked at the T.V screen.

"I told you to turn it off." Addison said to him again.

"We're not supposed to talk about it." Castiel replied to Samuel.

Sighing Sam crossed the room and shut the adult movie off.

"This is what I know. Everything we trap ends up here." Samuel said as he handed Dean a map with a red circle on it.

Addison took the map from him and looked at the location, "Yeah, this is the old prison I caught him torturing monsters in."

"That would have been helpful days ago, Addy." Dean said.

"Sorry, I've been too busy fighting angels." She retorted with an arched eyebrow as she pushed the map back into Dean's hand.

"I've only been outside the place, but it's a death trap. Nothing gets in that Crowley doesn't want in… I wish you boys wouldn't do this." He said.

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><p><strong>AN- ****Thank you for reading, I really hope you all liked the chapter. **

**I have a few Teen Wolf stories up on my page, if you're interested in reading them, and the link to my Polyvore account is up on my page.**

**I'd really love it if you'd take the time to leave me a review and let me know you're still reading this story. It's still one of my favorites to write, and I'm trying to update regularly. Your support is what keeps me writing and posting these updates, so please take a few moments to let me know you're still reading. ^_^**


	47. Ring of Fire

**Part Forty Seven.**

"_Nobody owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death." ~ William S. Burroughs  
><em>

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><p>Addison stood with her back leaned against a wall as she watched Sam and Dean gather their weapons and get ready to take down Crowley.<p>

"How did you get your father back?" Castiel asked as he walked up to her.

She felt some of the color drain from her face.

"I managed to kidnap an angel that had information." She admitted.

"And they told you where Raphael was having your father held?" Castiel continued to push for answers.

"Yes…" She said, her voice trailing off.

"How did you get that information out of the angel?" He asked her.

Taking a deep breath she said, "I… I don't like not telling you things…"

"I don't like it when you hide stuff from me either." He admitted to her.

"I had to… make the angel tell me." She said, not wanting to admit what she had done out loud.

"Make them?" He asked.

"I…I'm not proud of it, but they had my dad and I had to get him back. So after I got the angel, I tortured it for answers." She finally admitted to him.

His eyes widened as he looked at her.

"I'm sorry… I know that sounds terrible and it was terrible, but I had to do it." She defended her actions.

Slowly he nodded, more surprised she had admitted what she had done.

He instantly felt guilty for hiding so many things from her when she was being nothing but entirely honest with him, no matter how uncomfortable or ugly the truth was.

After they had everything together they headed outside where Meg and 3 other demons were waiting on them.

"What is she doing here? No… I agreed to let you live and you'd help me take Crowley down. I didn't agree to this." Meg said as she looked at Addison.

"Well, I want Crowley dead just as much as you and believe me demon, if I wanted you dead you'd already be gone." Addison shot back at her.

Meg arched an eyebrow and smirked.

"We know where Crowley is." Dean informed her.

"Great, do tell." Meg said.

"Yeah, right. So you can just leave us for dead."

"You boys have serious abandonment issues, you know that? Besides… you've got a Nephilim in your corner… you'll be fine." She told them.

"We'll show you… but we're all going together." Sam informed her.

They all decided to meet back up and leave in an hour to go after Crowley.

Sam went to get a few things from the trunk and Addison helped Dean finished packing up his bags inside. Castiel stood staring at the wall, deep in thought.

With a small sigh Dean said, "You know Cas, you could help."

"I'm ambivalent about what we're attempting." Castiel admitted.

Addison frowned and looked at Dean who dropped a metal flash-light into the bag and said "Yeah, well. Breaking into monster Gitmo is not a two-for-one in the champagne room."

Shaking his head back and forth Castiel said, "I'm not sure retrieving Sam's soul is wise…"

"What?" Addison asked.

"Why?" Dean asked him.

"I want him to survive." Castiel told them.

Dean looked over at Addison who shrugged and turned back to face Castiel.

"What are you talking about?" She asked him.

Slowly Castiel turned and faced them as he spoke, "Sam's soul has been locked in the cage with Michael and Lucifer for more than a year and they've had nothing to do but take their frustrations out on him."

"All the more reason to get him the hell out of there." Addison said nodding.

"Do you not understand?" Castiel asked looking between Addison and Dean.

They both looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

"If we try to force that mutilated things down Sam's gullet… we have no idea what could happen, it could be catastrophic." He explained his reasoning.

"You mean he dies?" Dean asked.

"I mean he doesn't." Castiel said.

"Paralysis, insanity, psychic pain so profound that he's locked inside himself for the rest of his life." He continued.

"But you're saying you don't know anything for sure, he could be fine?" Dean asked.

"He could be yes." Castiel agreed.

"Okay then." Dean said with a dismissive tone.

"But I sincerely doubt it." Castiel said, his tone earnest.

"Well, if he's not fine then you fix him." Dean said.

"Dean, I wouldn't know where to begin." He responded.

Addison's fore heard wrinkled in confusion, it didn't sound like Cas talking. He would have done anything, tried anything to help either one of the Winchester's before and now he wasn't agreeing with Dean's plan.

"Then you figure it out, Cas. Come on, I mean the guys a frigging replicant. He needs his soul. Look, we get it back and if there are complications then we will figure out a way to deal with those too." Dean said.

Addison nodded and looked to Castiel as he said, "Of course."

Once Dean turned his back Castiel said, "Or we fail and Sam suffers horrifically."

**~(At the abandoned prison)~**

"Seems too quiet." Addison said as they stood outside of the large security gates.

"It's not I can feel it… meet me at the side door." Cas said before he ported away from the group.

"Feel it? He can feel what?" Meg asked looking around the group.

"I have no idea." Addison admitted, thinking Castiel's behavior had been a little strange.

Addison could have ported to Cas inside of the prison but she decided to walk with the rest of the group.

Ever since her last run in with Crowley she had been trying to do more human-like things, because he was right when he said the longer she was away from humans the more detached she became from humanity.

Once they reached the door Castiel held it open for them.

"This all seem a little too easy to you guys?" Dean asked them.

"Way to easy." Sam replied.

Slowly the group made their way through the side hallways of the prison, Sam and Dean used their flashlights to illuminate the inside of the holding cells where Crowley had various monsters at.

"This isn't right…" Addison said after about 10 minutes of walking.

"You're telling me." Dean said as he glanced over his shoulder at her.

"No… I mean this really, really isn't right. You shouldn't be here." Addison said looking to Castiel.

A look of worry and concern spread over his face as he worried she might have figured out he was working with Crowley.

"What are you talking about?" Castiel asked her.

"This is Crowley we're talking about… this place should be covered in enochian, every angel warding spell ever known. You shouldn't be able to be in here… something's not right." Addison warned as she looked around the group.

The end of her sentence was cut off by growling and howling in the distance.

"Damn it, here come the guards." Meg said.

"Hell hounds." Dean breathed out.

The growling got closer.

"Go!" Dean yelled.

Everyone took off running down the hallway before they were able to slam a set of double doors closed, the hellhounds got the 2 demons who had come with Meg.

"I knew this was a trap." Dean said.

"What do you want a cupcake?" Meg asked him sarcastically.

"That should keep them out." Sam said pointing to the line of salt in front of the doors.

"Not for long, how many are out there?" Dean questioned.

"Lots." Meg responded.

"Great… just perfect." Addison said with a groan.

"I'll be pulling for you from Cleveland… I didn't know this was going to happen. Bright side? Them chewing up my meat suit should buy you a little time." Meg said as she opened her mouth and tried to smoke out of her meat suit.

"What the hell are you doing, waiting on it to snow?" Addison asked sarcastically, as she watched Meg stand with her arms out to the side and her mouth wide open.

"It's a spell, I think… from Crowley. Within these walls, you're locked inside your body." Castiel informed all of them.

"Well; karmas a bitch, bitch." Dean said to Meg.

"Wha…" Addison started to question then her eyes widened in realization.

"Oh, never mind… I get it. Karmas a bitch, because you're the demon who locked yourself inside Sam's body!" Addison said out loud, smiling at understanding the joke.

"How do you know that?" Dean asked her confused. That had happened years before they had met.

"I've been reading Chuck's Supernatural books." She admitted with a smug smile.

"We need a plan." Sam said.

Addison looked around and held her hand out to the side, instantly her angel blade appeared in her hand.

"Here… take this, kill the hellhounds and meet back up with us. You can see them." Addison said as she held the blade out to Meg.

Meg looked around at everyone in the group.

"It's our best shot." Sam agreed with her.

With a heavy sigh and an un-amused look Meg took the angel blade from her and nodded.

"Go." Meg said as she nodded towards the other set of doors.

Sam, Dean, Addison and Castiel continued their way through the prison.

"I can't see jack." Dean stated as he shined his dimming flashlight around the dark room as they all descended a set of stairs.

A few moments later they were all blinded by a blinding white light as Samuel used an enochian angel banishing blood spell to send Castiel away.

When the light cleared and everyone realized what had happened, Addison narrowed her eye at Samuel "You…" She started to say as she took a few steps towards him.

But before she reached him her body went flying violently across the room and she fell to the hard cement floor with a pained groan.

"Hey!" Dean yelled angrily when he saw Crowley was the one who threw Addison across the room.

Groaning in pain again she pulled herself to her feet.

Before she could do anything else Crowley snapped his fingers and a circle of flames erupted around her from a ring of holy oil.

"You sold us out?" Dean yelled angrily to his grandfather.

"I have to say… best purchase I've made since Dick Cheney." Crowley said with a smirk.

"Heya Crowley, how's tricks?" Dean questioned as he struggled against the demon who now had a hold on him.

"Above your pay grade. Been working… big things. Alas, you'll be too dead to participate." Crowley said to him.

"Really?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"Shame I have to do away with you lot, I've rather enjoyed your indentured servitude." Crowley said.

"You're so dead…" Addison breathed out from where she was standing.

"Says the half breed trapped in a ring of holy fire." Crowley pointed out.

She laughed, "You idiot, this oil only works on angels."

"Does it now? Well, love… come on out and get me." Crowley egged her on.

Addison narrowed her light green eyes at him.

"What are you waiting for?" Dean asked still fighting against the demon that had a hold on him.

After a few moments Addison looked at him and said, "Obviously, I'm trapped Dean."

He sighed and shook his head.

Addison watched helplessly as the demons pulled Sam and Dean from the room.

"I'm warning you Crowley… let me go now." She said as they were now the only two left in the room.

He smiled and shook his head.

"Or you'll what? Kill yourself trying to cross the flames to come at me?" He questioned.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"What did you do with Sam and Dean?" She asked.

"I think I'll feed them to a couple of hungry ghouls." Crowley told her.

"No! You can't do that…" Addison said, her voice showing a bit of panic.

"I can… and I will." Crowley said as he stood right outside of the circle of flames.

Before Addison could say anything else, Crowley left the room.

"Damn it." She breathed out as she stared helplessly at the flames around her.

After a little while she took a deep breath and slowly reached a hand out, she shook from fear as she stuck one of her fingers into the flames.

Screaming in pain she jerked her hand back and looked as her finger was glowing a bright red, slowly the red went away and her finger stopped hurting.

Castiel had said any angel that touched or tried to pass through the flames would die, he had warned her that the flames from holy oil might have the same effect on her.

But she wasn't an angel, and since she touched the flames without dying she determined it might be agonizing pain, but she'd be able to cross over the flames and survive.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly she braced herself and ran through the flames. Falling to the ground she rolled back and forth yelling in pain as tears streamed down her face.

Finally the pain slowed and stopped; standing she looked around the room just in time to see a couple demons walk in. They looked at the still burning circle of flames and then to her shocked that she had crossed the flames.

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><p><strong>AN- **_**Thank you so much for reading! I hope everyone liked the update!**_

_**If anyone watches Teen Wolf, I now have 2 Teen Wolf fanfictions up titled 'Young Blood' and 'Once in A Blue Moon If you check it out, please take a few moments to let me know what you thought.**_

**I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know if you read and liked this chapter. This is still one of my favorite stories to write, and I really hope you're all still liking it too. ^_^**


	48. Fair Game

**Part Forty Eight.**

* * *

><p><em>"There is the same difference in a person before and after he is in love as there is in an unlighted lamp and one that is burning." -Vincent Van Gogh<br>_

* * *

><p>Addison used her powers to kill the demons who had come into the room with her before they had the chance to grab her.<p>

Dropping to the floor on her knees, she coughed up blood and fought to catch her breath. From the pain and the adrenaline she hadn't realized it, but jumping through the flames from their holy oil had drained her powers almost completely.

Wiping some blood from her mouth she weakly rose to her feet and started off in search of Sam and Dean.

Turning the corner she ran right into a demon who looked at her surprised to see she had made it out of the flames.

Using her powers again she killed that demon, but immediately dropped to her knees again. She hadn't felt so weak since she had been mostly human and Uriel made her kill too many demons in one day, it had almost killed her.

Coughing up more blood she groaned in pain and she could feel blood starting to run from her nose.

Her light weak eyes surveyed her surroundings, hoping that if anyone found her it would be Cas, Sam or Dean and that no more demons came at her because she didn't have the juice to fight them off.

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard approaching footsteps.

She gasped in pain as someone grabbed her by her hair and roughly pulled her to her feet. She franticly reached up and grabbed onto the wrist of the person who still had a tight hold on her hair.

"Let go of me!" She yelled.

"You first." Crowley said, only a few inches away from her ear as she squeezed tightly onto his wrist.

Sighing she let go and a few moments later he released his grip on her hair.

Spinning around she narrowed her eyes at him as she rubbed her still sore scalp.

"How did you get out of the flames?" He questioned her.

"I jumped through them." She admitted.

"You jumped… you jumped through them? You really have no sense of self-preservation do you?" He asked, a look of disbelief on his face.

"It appears that way." Addison said as she still rubbed her scalp.

He looked up to the ceiling and let out a heavy irritated sigh.

He and Castiel had planned the day out, to fake his death to keep Sam and Dean from really tracking and killing him. Castiel had made it clear to him that none of them were supposed to be seriously injured, especially Addison.

It had been Cas' idea for Crowley to trap Addison in the ring of holy fire so that she wouldn't get hurt. No one had expected her to risk her life trying to get out of the circle.

"So what now?" She questioned, knowing if he tried to kill her he'd easily be able to.

"You couldn't just stay in the damn circle could you?" He growled in anger as he looked at her.

"What?" She asked him, confused at his words.

"You're really becoming a pain in the ass." He stated flatly looking at her.

Her confusion grew and she wondered why he hadn't killed her yet.

"What am I going to do with you now?" He asked his eyes squinted as he continued to look at her.

Holding her arm down to her side, she concentrated and one of her angel blades appeared in her hand. She knew a fight would be almost pointless since she was so weakened, but she wasn't going down without a fight.

Crowley's eyes slowly moved down her body until he spotted the angel blade in her hand.

Grabbing her by the throat he quickly slammed her against the wall.

Taken by surprise the blade fell from her hand.

Holding his hand out to the side, her blade flew from the floor and landed in his hand.

His eyes met hers as he tried to come up with another plan, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a fire alarm.

"What is that?" She questioned, as he still had her pinned her to the wall.

"Obviously the fire alarm you half-breed." He said as he stepped back and roughly grabbed onto her upper arm.

He started to drag her in the direction of the noise.

"I don't know why you keep calling me a half-breed. Nephilim is a genetic mutation that shows up, not 2 different species breeding. My parents are both human, you've met them." She said in a matter-of-a-fact tone.

"Not all of them. Some Nephilim are half-breeds." He stated flatly as he pulled her into a room with him.

She looked up to see Sam watching them and Dean's eyes widened when he saw the blood all over her face.

Crowley walked right into the devils trap drawn on the ceiling.

Looking up and seeing the red paint on the ceiling he sighed and said, "So, to what do I owe the reach around?"

"Let her go." Dean said as he angrily took a step closer to the circle.

"No, you see… she's my leverage. You try anything and I'll kill her." Crowley said.

"Yeah, kill her with what?" Dean asked, knowing she wasn't the easiest thing to kill.

"I believe this will do the trick." He said, displaying the angel blade he had stolen from her.

"I wouldn't count on it… Sam's soulless, he doesn't care about me." Addison said, her voice strained as she spoke.

"True, Dean on the other hand… happens to be very fond of you from what I've seen." Crowley said, tightening his hold on her arm.

"Crowley." Meg said as she walked in the room and smirked at him.

"Whore." He responded.

"Okay, you know what…" Meg said as she held her hand up and slowly curled her fingers towards her palm making a fist.

Crowley started to double over in pain and spit up blood, but he kept a tight grip on Addison and drug one of the sharp edges of the angel blade of her bare skin on her arm.

Once the skin was broken, it sizzled against the metal blade and she yelled out in pain.

"Stop." Dean ordered Meg, when he saw Crowley hurting Addison.

"Sam wants a word." Meg said to him.

"What can I do for you, Sam?" Crowley asked.

"You know damn well. I want my soul back." Sam answered.

"And here I thought you just grew some balls, Sam." Meg said, as she glanced over at him.

"I can't. I was lucky just to get this much of you out, but going in for sloppy bits, no way. I'm good, but those two in there… forget it." Crowley said.

"Sam, why do you even want the thing back? Satan's got one juicy form of entertainment in there. I'd swallow a rag off a bathhouse floor before I took that soul. Unless you want to be a drooling mess." Crowley said.

"Sam, I hate I say, but he's right." Meg agreed looking at him.

"Yeah… uhh, I get it." Sam said.

Looking back to Meg he said, "He's all yours."

Meg smiled as she took the demon killing knife from him.

"Are you crazy? He's our only hope." Dean said.

"You heard him, he can't get my soul." Sam reasoned.

"He's got Addison." Dean said motioning to them again.

Addison shifted and tried to pull away from Crowley, but he kept his hold tight on her.

While they were arguing, Crowley threw the angel blade up in the air. It stuck on the outside circle of the devils trap and broke it.

Everyone turned and looked at him.

"That's better." Crowley said as he stepped forward.

Dean grabbed the knife away from Meg and took a step forward.

"Uh-uh." Crowley taunted as he held his hand out and the blade fell from the ceiling.

Crowley quickly pulled Addison in front of him, her back pressed against his stomach as he now held the blade against her neck.

"Come on, Crowley. Let her go, she's got nothing to do with this." Dean said, as he stopped his movement.

"She came here with the intent to kill me, same as you. She's fair game, and I don't see her angel anywhere." Crowley said smugly.

Addison groaned in pain as she squirmed against his arms and the blade started to cut into her skin.

"Let her go." Castiel said as he appeared in the room, his gaze heavy on Crowley when he saw the condition she was in.

"Castiel. Haven't seen you all season, you're the cavalry now?" Crowley questioned.

"Put the blade down and let her go." Castiel demanded.

"You that bossy in heaven? I hear you're losing out to Raphael. The whole affair makes Vietnam look like a roller derby." Crowley said, as he pushed the blade against Addison's neck and her skin sizzled.

"Let her go." Castiel said, his voice louder than before as he watched her squirm in pain.

Crowley slowly let go of her and she walked over and stood beside Cas as she rubbed the sore skin on her neck.

Casties displayed the bag he had with him.

"Hey, what's in the gift bag?" He questioned.

"You are." Castiel said as he pulled a human skull from the back.

"Not possible." Crowley said, shaking his head back and forth.

"You didn't hide your bones as well as you should have." Castiel said as he dropped the bag of bones and the skull to the floor.

Addison looked over at him surprised. Crowley knew the burning of his bones could kill him, that's why he had given Bobby his soul back in exchange for them.

She thought to herself that those bones would have been something he would have hidden very, very well. But she reasoned that if anyone could find and retrieve the bones, it would be Castiel.

Tucking the blade under his arm he said, "Cookie for you." As he clapped his hands.

"Can you restore Sam's soul or not?" Castiel asked him, his voice gruff.

"If I could help out in any other way…" He started to offer.

"Answer him." Addison yelled angry at him for the events of the day.

Looking at her, his eyes moved down to her still bleeding neck.

"I can't." Crowley admitted.

Without any more hesitation, Castiel set the bag on fire. Addison watched wide eyed as Crowley went up in flames, before his meat suit fell to a pile of ash on the floor.

"Are you alright?" Castiel asked as he looked over at her.

"Yeah… uhh, he trapped me in a ring of holy fire." Addison said, her head was still spinning from everything.

"How did you get out of there?" Dean asked.

"I jumped through the flames." She admitted.

"You… you what?" Castiel asked her.

"It severely weakened me though." She explained.

**~(Later that night)~**

Addison was in her apartment in her heaven. She had just gotten out of the shower and dried her hair, which was now laying in soft waves.

She changed into a pair of dark blue shorts and a light gray shirt. Standing in her bathroom, she leaned over the sink and looked in the mirror rubbing her hand over her now healed neck.

Her wounds had all healed, but she was still weakened from the day and needed to sleep to get her strength back up.

She checked her living room, for Castiel before she headed back to her bedroom wondering where he had disappeared to.

Walking over, she looked out of the large floor to ceiling windows in her bedroom, her tired light green eyes surveying the city view.

Sitting down on the hardwood floor she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs as she continued to stare out of the window.

After the events of the day, she was starting to feel like she had more questions than answers.

It didn't make sense to her why Crowley didn't kill her when he had the chance, and why hadn't he hidden his bones well enough. The number one thing Crowley was concerned about was saving his own ass.

Castiel stood quietly across the room watching her as she stared out of the window, with her back to him.

The day hadn't gone down as planned. Crowley was supposed to trap Addison in the ring of holy fire so that she wouldn't be injured. But the plan didn't work; she had jumped through the flames and almost killed herself in the process.

He continued to watch her in silence. The only sound was an old record playing from the living room, and the crackling of the wood in the fire place.

He had noticed lately she seemed to have a sadness about her. He hadn't brought it up to her, but he suspected that she was starting to miss being human.

He knew she wanted to spend time with her parents who had been dead for 2 years, but going to their safe house would put them in danger. So she only checked in periodically on the phone.

His mind drifted back to when Addison's grandmother Rose, had told him that even though Addison was strong and a fighter, she was still a 21 year old girl. Rose said that she thought her granddaughter just wanted her own piece of the human experience.

But she wasn't human anymore.

Taking his trench coat off and laying it down on the foot of the bed, he sat down and folded his hands in his lap as he watched her still looking out of the window.

He hadn't given much thought to it before but he started to wonder what her life would have become if he had never showed up. She was mere weeks away from moving to New York and starting the life she had dreamed off. He considered that maybe she would have eventually started a family of her own.

Guilt shot through him, as he thought of how much she had given up and what she still continued to sacrifice to be with him, and he had been lying to her for a long time and working with Crowley to open Purgatory.

He quickly tried to push the negative feelings down, by telling himself that after he had the souls from Purgatory and defeated Raphael, that she'd understand why he had done everything he did. After all, she was the one who had told him that sometimes lying is done to accomplish a greater good.

"Hey…" She said, her voice soft as she shook him from his thoughts.

"Hello." He replied.

She was watching his reflection in the window as he watched her.

"How long have you been watching me?" She questioned.

"Not very long." He replied.

"I looked for you when I got out of the shower." She said as she stood up and turned to face him.

"I had some things to take care of." He answered, vaguely.

He caught the slight frown that angled her lips down at his response.

Lately she felt like he was telling her less and less about everything. His answers had been getting more vague and he avoided her questions about where he had been.

She had been brushing it off to his being stressed from the war they were fighting and Dean calling to them almost every day for help with problems on earth.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked her as he stood from the side of the bed.

"A little, I healed up quick… but I'm still tired." She said, as her eyes met his.

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><p><strong>AN- Thank you for reading. I really hope you all liked the chapter. ^_^**

**I would really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know that you're still reading. **

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	49. The Need for Genuine Love

**Part Forty Nine.**

"_Your body needs to be held and to hold, to be touched and to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied, or repressed. But you have to keep searching for your body's deeper need, the need for genuine love." ~_ _Henri Nouwen__  
><em>

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><p><em><em><em><strong>~(AN- Disclaimer. This chapter contains a scene with sexual acts…)~**___

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><p>Addison looked past him to the exposed red brick wall of her bedroom.<p>

"You seem like something is bothering you." Castiel observed as he watched her.

"I don't really get why I'm still alive." She admitted to him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked confused by her words.

"Crowley had several opportunities to kill me… my powers were weakened and he stole one of my angel blades, he could have easily killed me. But… he didn't." She explained what had her confused.

"Who truly knows why Crowley does anything he does?" Castiel said, trying to brush off her concern.

"Yeah, you're right." She said nodding.

"Is that all?" He asked her, wondering if she had caught onto anything else.

"Yeah, I just… need some rest, get my strength back up." She said as she walked past him and pulled the dark purple blanket down on her bed, and got into the bed.

Castiel turned and watched her as she reached over and turned the bright lamp off on her bedside table, and laid flat on her back in the bed.

His blue eyes traced her soft facial features as her pale skin seemed to almost glow in the moonlight shining in from the large windows.

It started to sink in how close he had come to losing her that day. He wasn't sure if the flames from holy oil would have the same fatal effect on her that it did on angels, but he had thought that the threat of it would have kept her inside the circle.

But she had been worried about Sam and Dean and jumped through the flames, severely weakening herself in the process.

It then occurred to him that Crowley did have a surplus of opportunities to take her out, especially after he got his hands on an angel blade. Even though Crowley had guaranteed him that he wouldn't hurt her, he knew he couldn't trust his word on it.

And there were other demons in the abandoned prison too, any of them could have managed to get the upper hand over her in the weakened state she was in.

His breathing grew a little shallow as he realized he had let her walk into a possible deadly situation that day, all for the sake of working with Crowley for purgatory.

His eyes grew sad as he started to think of his role in how weak and injured she got that day.

"Are you staying here tonight?" She questioned, her voice soft in the otherwise quiet room.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked her, shaken from his thoughts.

"I never want you to leave." She said.

"Then I'll stay." He said nodding.

"Can you sit down, or lay down or something? I can't sleep with you standing beside the bed staring at me… it's sort of creepy." She said, with a small smile as she sat and up and looked at him.

"I like to watch you." He reminded her as he went to the other side of the bed and kicked his shoes off, before he sat back leaning against the headboard.

"I know." Addison said as she lay back on her back and stared up at the ceiling.

He watched her, his head still spinning from how close he had come to losing her.

"Are you okay?" Addison asked as she turned her head and looked to him.

"No." He replied.

"What's wrong then?" She asked him.

"I could have lost you today." He said as he looked down to where she was lying.

"But you didn't." She reminded him.

"Yes, but you were injured and weak, any demon there could have killed you." He said.

"It's okay, we made it out of the situation. You showed up just in the nick of time and saved all of us." She said as she rose up and looked at him.

"My hero." She whispered as she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.

Her words hurt him, she thought he had showed up and saved everyone. But in reality he had showed up to finish the rest of faking Crowley's death, like they had planned out earlier.

Pulling back her eyes searched his face, she could see the pained look, but she thought it was still from him realizing she almost died.

"It's okay." She repeated as she kissed him again before laying back down on her back and looking up to the ceiling, before she closed her eyes and tried to sleep again.

Looking back at her, he thought of how much he loved every single thing about her.

Her kiss still lingered on his lips as he thought of how he'd feel if he never got to touch her again.

She opened her eyes as she felt the bed move as he was scooting farther down in the bed beside her, laying on top of the blanket she was under.

He leaned over her face and looked at her, his eyes retracing her facial features.

She stared back at him, smiling softly at him.

Leaning down farther he pressed his lips against her slightly open mouth. She reached up, holding onto the back of his head and neck as she leaned up from the pillow deepening their kiss.

His lips and tongue moved hungrily against hers, his hands rubbed over her clothed upper body.

Addison matched the hungriness of the kiss as she rose up some, and quickly pulled his tie off, before unbuttoning his shirt and tossing it towards the foot of the bed.

Once his upper body was bare she ran her hands up his lean, strong chest. He lightly groaned against her open mouth, her every touch was intoxicating to him.

Her stomach jumped from excitement at the masculine noise, and her breathing grew ever more labored.

Pulling back from the kiss he stared at her, his chest rising and falling heavily with his breathing just as labored as hers.

Reaching up she pulled his face back to hers as she passionately kissed him, her tongue sensually searching his mouth.

Her tongue felt like liquid silk as it mated with his own, and he tightened his grip on her side. His pants had grown uncomfortably tight when she moaned softly into his mouth.

Breaking the kiss she took a deep breath and stared lovingly up at him as he still lay beside her in the bed over the blanket she was covered up with.

His upper body was leaned over hers as his eyes bore into hers.

Raising her hand, she gently traced his jawline with her fingertips.

He watched her face intently as he moved the hand that had been holding onto her side, down farther under the blanket.

Her breath caught in her throat as he slid his hand into her pajama shorts. He kept his eyes locked with hers as he began to explore the apex of her legs.

She drew in a sharp breath and her body jerked up from the mattress when he concentrated his touch on the swollen nerve packed pearl.

Pulling his face back down to hers she deeply kissed him as she slowly rocked her hips along with his touch.

Her finger tips and short nails softly dug into his upper arm, she could feel his muscles move under his skin as he continued to pleasure her with his touch.

As he increased the movement, she gasped and her head rose up from the pillow. He smiled to himself as he could smell the familiar scent of her shampoo on her wavy hair.

Sweat peppered her pale flesh and her cheeks were flushed as her eyes met his again.

Lowering his head he claimed her neck with his mouth as she bit down on her bottom lip and moaned quietly when she felt his teeth graze the sensitive skin on her neck.

His breathing was ragged as he could hear her panting by his ear.

"Cas…" She breathed out, her body shivered under his affections.

Before she could say anything else his lips were back on hers, his tongue pushed between her lips and teeth.

Pulling back she looked to the side and took a deep breath as her body arched up from the mattress and he brought her closer to release.

"Cas." She said louder as she slid her hand down his arm and lightly tugged on his wrist.

"What?" He questioned his blue eyes intense as he looked at her.

"Stop." She managed to say as she fought harder for her breath and pulled more on his wrist.

He immediately stopped his movement and pulled his hand from her shorts, he looked at her confused and concerned: she had never told him to stop before.

"What's wrong?" He questioned.

Closing her eyes and trying to calm herself and control her breathing she took a few deep breaths.

When she didn't respond he said, "Addison? Are you alright?"

Opening her light green eyes she raised up and kissed him. "I'm fine, nothing's wrong. It's just…I just want to be with you." She breathed out, as she ran her fingers through his short hair and pressed an urgent kiss to his lips.

He kissed her back, relieved there wasn't anything wrong with her as his hands grabbed the bottom of her shirt and he broke their kiss long enough to pull it off over her head.

He gently pushed her shoulders back until she was laying back, her head fell on the soft pillows and an almost inaudible noise escaped her lips as his mouth and hands were now focused on her exposed chest.

Reaching between them she found his belt and unfastened it breaking their kiss as she looked down and unzipped his pants.

As he pulled his pants off, she pushed the blanket off of her and looked over as he tossed his boxers towards the foot of the bed.

Her eyes slowly looked over his nude body as her heart thudded in her chest. She thought of how much she loved him and every single thing about him.

Her sight traveled back up until her eyes locked with his. Laying back down she grabbed the waistband of her shorts and raised her hips up from the mattress.

He pulled her shorts and underwear off, dropping them onto the floor beside the bed.

Settled between her legs and leaning over her, their eyes were locked on one another as he pushed himself into her passion dampened depths, immediately rocking his body against hers.

She ran her hands up his arms, and held onto him as she moved against him, readily excepting the invasion of his body within her own.

Leaning up some she wrapped her arms around him and laid back down pulling his body completely onto hers.

He rested his forehead against hers, and they breathed heavily into each other's open mouths before his damp lips smashed against hers.

Running her fingers through his hair again, she kept his face against hers.

He grunted against her soft pink, parted lips as the sensations intensified and he moved a little harder and faster against her.

He buried his face against her warm neck, and her hands desperately clutched onto his back as he sank his manhood into her over and over again.

She was breathing heavily and erratic as her body started to shift restlessly beneath him.

Reaching down she grabbed his hand that was holding onto her side and laced her fingers with his. Feeling her touch he raised his head and looked into her eyes as her mouth hung open and her eyebrows furrowed.

Her sweet breath poured over his face as she breathed heavily before moaning louder and arching up from the mattress; desperately she squeezed his hand and turned her face to the side.

He held her close to him as he kissed the side of her neck and face as she came and her body shuddered in his arms.

Fighting for his own breath as her body clenched tightly around him and he continued to thrust deep inside of her.

Coming down from her high, she looked over to their connected hands, fingers still laced as it was now his grip that was tightening.

Looking back up at him with an amorous look in her eyes, she reclaimed his mouth with her, hungrily kissing him. She craved him and couldn't get enough of being with him.

Breaking the kiss, he looked at her before he buried his face in her neck again.

She felt his lips and tongue glide over to her shoulder, fingers on one hand still intertwined with his, she held onto his back with the other hand.

Lifting her head up from the pillow she kissed his shoulder, and looked back over to their hands as his teeth grazed over her skin and he breathed heavier and grunted as he started to lose control.

Laying her head back on the pillow she bit down on her bottom lip as he pushed harder into her, and she felt his body tense before he groaned even louder as he reached the moment of release.

Slowly he raised his head from her shoulder and looked at her, both of them still breathing heavily.

Letting go of his hand she grabbed his face with both hands and passionately kissed him.

**~(A few days later)~**

Addison stood in her heaven as she looked into the fire place. Dean had been praying to her that day, wanting her to meet him at a building.

She was supposed to meet him a little while ago but she hadn't left yet.

Her and Cas had spent the last few days alone in her heaven, not paying attention to anyone but each other. After spending so much time with him, she felt better.

But now she felt a little guilty for ignoring Dean. He had been praying to both her and Cas since the day they had killed Crowley, but neither of them had responded.

She wanted to tell Cas where she was going, but he had left a few hours ago and hadn't returned.

Deciding she was already running late enough she ported herself outside of the building that Dean wanted to meet at.

Addison looked in the large store front windows, a horrified look spreading over her face as she saw all of the raw meat and dead, skinned ducks hanging.

Walking inside she looked at the man behind the counter wide eyed as he used a large butcher knife to cut apart some meat, her eyes then went to his bloody apron.

"Excuse me… I'm supposed to be meeting a friend here…" She started to say but he cut her off.

"All the way to the back." He said motioning to the back of the store with the bloody knife.

"Thanks…" She breathed out as she quickly headed back for the door.

Walking up an old stair case she opened another door and walked into a room.

"No pulse, no respirations. He's dead." She heard the man dressed as a doctor say as she walked in.

Her eyes widened as she saw Dean lying lifeless on the table.

"What did you do to him?" She yelled looking back and forth between the doctor and his assistant.

"You're late. We just put him out." He said looking to her.

"I… I don't understand, somebody better tell me what the hell is going on!" She yelled, fear in her eyes.

The man quickly explained that Dean had come to him, and paid him to kill him and then bring him back to life.

Addison held her breath as she stood by the assistant and watched the stopwatch in her hand.

"Three, two… one." The assistant said as she counted down.

Addison watched nervously as the doctor lifted Dean's shirt and placed the defibrillator paddles on his chest and tried to restart his heart.

The E.K.G machine continued to show a flat-line.

"Do it again!" Addison yelled franticly.

He was already trying it for a second time.

"Eva! Adreneline!" He yelled when he wasn't able to restart Dean's heart.

After they injected the adrenaline, Dean gasped loudly as he woke up.

Addison breathed a sigh of relief.

"You couldn't have given me 5 more seconds?" Dean grumbled.

"Son, you were gone for 7 minutes." He informed him.

"You could have gotten brain damage from lack of oxygen you idiot." Addison yelled, her heart still racing from everything.

Dean looked over at her surprised to see her; she wasn't there when he was awake before.

Addison was silent as she walked in front of Dean out of the butcher shop.

"You're not gonna talk to me?" Dean asked as she had been ignoring him.

"I… I don't want to talk to you. I… I have never wanted to slap somebody across the face so hard in my life!" She yelled as she turned and faced him on the busy city street.

"I, uhh…" He started to say, but stopped and groaned in pain as Addison raised her hand and slapped him.

"Ow!" He said, looking at her as he grabbed the side of his face she hit.

Addison crossed her arms over her chest and looked over to where a few people had stopped walking and was watching them.

"You prayed to me and told me to meet you here, you neglected to tell me that you we're going to be dead when I got here!" She yelled, as her hand still stung.

"I wouldn't have been if you had gotten here when I told you to, I was going to explain everything." He said, reminding her she was late to the meeting.

She shook her head angrily.

"What the hell have you and Cas been doing these past few days anyway? I've been calling to the both of you continuously." He said.

"It doesn't matter what we've been doing… why did you do this?" She asked, motioning to the butcher shop.

He explained how he had met with Death, the horseman and made a deal with him.

He'd put on the ring and be Death for a day and in return, Death would retrieve Sam's soul from the cage and put a wall up to block out the painful memories of being in the cage.

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><p><strong>AN- Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and I'm sorry it's been a while since my last update. **

**On my profile is a link to my Polyvore account and a link to the collection of sets I've made to go along with this story. ^_^ **

**There is also a link to the YouTube video that the fabulous Lady Wesker made for this story!**

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	50. The Nature of Being Human

**Part Fifty.**

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><p>"<em>There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human- in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time." ~ C. Joybell<br>_

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><p>"Hey." Addison greeted Castiel as she appeared in the living room of her heaven.<p>

"Hello." He replied as he stood from the couch and looked at her.

"Where were you?" He questioned.

"You know, I ask you the same thing and you never give me a straight answer." She said, her voice was quiet as she spoke.

He watched her as she unzipped her purple jacket and sat down on the couch.

"What happened?" He asked her.

"Nothing. I called my parents and grandma… they're all doing good." She replied.

"That's good news. I don't understand why you're sad." He said.

"That's just it, Cas. You… you don't understand it because you were only human for such a short time." She said, as she stared straight ahead.

He watched her in silence.

"Tell me, I want to understand what's bothering you." He said.

"It's just that… I was devastated when I lost my parents, completely depressed it was the worst thing I'd ever been through." She was saying but he cut her off.

"I remember." He said nodding. It hadn't been too long after she went into hiding and Castiel had been assigned to protect her when her parents were killed by demons.

"The pain of losing them never went away, I mean as time went on it dulled some… but it still hurt and I missed them like crazy. I would have given anything to get them back. Now I have them both back, living breathing human beings again and I've only seen them a few times. Do you know how many people would kill for just one more day with a loved one they lost? And here I had a few months of them being alive and I can't even spend time with them, because I'm being followed all the time by Raphael's angels and it's too dangerous." She tried to explain, her voice grew a little hoarse as her chin quivered.

"When this is all over, you'll be able to spend time with them." He offered, trying make her feel a little better.

She let out a small, but dry laugh.

"No, actually I won't because all they want is to go back to their heaven. They got their taste of complete paradise and even though my grandmother and I are here, they just want their heaven again. It hurts, but I guess I can't really blame them. I mean, having your own little piece of paradise and never having to feel any sort of pain ever again, it sounds like… heaven. And then I start to think that I'll never know what that's like and…" Her voice trailed off, she hadn't meant to let the last sentence slip out.

She glanced over to him hoping he hadn't caught the end of it, but the sad look in his eyes as he stared back at her showed otherwise.

"You start to think you'll never know what that's like, and then what?" He asked, wanting her to continue.

"I didn't mean to say that last part." She admitted as she hung her head.

"Do you miss being human?" He asked her when she remained quiet.

"It doesn't matter… I'm not human anymore, so why dwell on things that can't change?" She breathed out as she pulled her jacket off and lay it down on the couch beside her.

"It does matter, if it's upsetting you than it matters." He told her.

"It doesn't, it's not a big deal." She said trying to forget the sadness she was feeling.

"Every time you say something isn't a big deal, it always is." He reminded her.

Standing up she walked over to the large windows in her living room as she stared out into the never changing view.

"Do you miss being human?" He asked her again as he watched her from the couch.

"I don't want to." She said quietly.

"So you do?" He asked as he stood and walked over to her.

Turning and looking at him for a moment before she avoided his eyes as she nodded her head.

He swallowed hard and looked out of the window; that was what he had been suspecting for a while.

"I don't know of any way to reverse what happened." He finally said.

She looked over at him a pained look on her face, "Sometimes I think the problem is that I'm too human."

"What do you mean?" He asked her.

"Physically I'm stronger than I've ever been and I know I'm not going to age or anything, and I'm not easily killed. But emotionally… I don't really feel any different. I'm just starting to think that maybe this would have been easier if a little of that was shut off or at least dulled or something." She admitted to him.

"But I take after my grandmother, I'm strong and I'll survive this." She said, her voice quieter as she spoke.

She waited on him to say something, but when he remained quiet she looked over to him.

"Cas?" She questioned, as he stood still and stared out of the window.

"I don't know what to say, Addison. I can't fix this and I don't know how to make things any better." He said, turning and facing her.

Her green eyes stung from tears.

"I'm just a little down right now, it will pass." She assured him as her eyes met his.

"You've been sad for quite some time now." He voiced what he had been noticing but not bringing up to her.

"I'll be fine." She said.

"You always say that." He said to her.

"Cas… listen to me." she said, as her eyes locked with his.

"I still feel human, emotionally at least. I'm still going to have my ups and down, but I wouldn't change what happened. Because even though some things are making me sad right now, I'm fine because I have you. The worst thing to me would be not having you… that's what I'd never recover from." She said.

"That's only because you're not human and we merged." He said.

"No it isn't." She argued.

"It's part of being mates." He reminded her.

"I know that, but you don't get it. I… I've loved you for a long time. You have been the most important thing to me for a long time. When Raphael killed you at Chuck's, I was completely devastated. What we feel for each other now might be intensified, but I was in love with you long before this happened." She explained.

He thought back to when he had been at his most human point, and how it felt like the end of the world to him when she died.

"I understand." He said nodding.

She looked to the side, wondering what part of their talk he had understood.

"I love you." He said, his eyes still a little sad as he searched her face.

A small smile spread over her lips.

"I love you, more than anything." She said as she leaned up and kissed him.

**~(The next day)~**

Addison changed into a pair of jeans and a hunter green tank top, with her favorite black leather jacket.

"Where are you going?" Castiel asked as he walked into her bedroom in her heaven.

"To Bobby's, see how Dean's deal with Death is coming along; check on Sam." Addison explained.

He nodded.

"I'd help if I could." He said.

"It's okay, I know you've been busy and stressed." She said, as she put a hand on his cheek and kissed him before she ported to Bobby's house.

Looking around the kitchen she saw some blood on the floor.

"Bobby?" She yelled as she slowly made her way through the house.

The only sound she could hear were her footsteps as she headed down the basement stairs, only to find more blood.

On her way out of the house she noticed a closet door had been busted through.

"What the hell?" she breathed out as she walked quietly towards the salvage yard.

Gravel crunched under her shoes as she walked up to a large shed and peeked in the open door.

Her eyes widened as she saw bobby tied to a chair, and Sam standing over him with a knife.

"I've been like a father to you, boy." Bobby pleaded for Sam to not kill him.

"No!" Addison yelled as ran into the room and pushed Sam away from Bobby as he raised the knife above him.

Sam quickly lunged forward and stabbed her in the side with the knife.

She groaned in pain and her eyes narrowed in anger at him as blood started to pour from the wound and puddle at her feet.

Using her abilities she brought Sam to his knees, holding onto his head as he yelled in pain before falling unconscious.

She looked over to Bobby who was staring wide eyed at the knife sticking from the side of her stomach.

Taking a deep breath and bracing herself she grabbed the handle of the knife and pulled it from her body.

"Are you okay?" She asked Bobby as she wiped most of the blood off on her jeans and started to cut the ropes that bound him to the chair.

"I'm fine, thanks to you. Are you okay?" He asked, looking down to the large puddle of blood on the floor.

"Takes more than an everyday knife to kill me." She said as she raised her shirt some and examined the almost healed wound.

Bobby stood from the chair and looked around before looking back to her, "Thank you." He said.

She nodded and looked down to Sam's unconscious body.

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked as he rushed into the room with them.

"He was gonna kill me… for some spell to keep his soul from getting shoved back in him." Bobby said motioning to Sam.

Dean's eye widened and he angrily asked, "What?"

"Luckily she showed up, right in time to. He was going in for the kill." Bobby said.

"Are you alright?" Dean asked, worried as he saw her bloody clothes.

"I'm a little sore, Dean." She responded with an arched eyebrow.

After Dean explained to them that he had taken the ring off and messed up the deal with Death they got Sam tied down in the all iron panic room in Bobby's basement.

Addison ported back to her heaven and took a quick shower to wash the blood off, she changed clothes and met everyone back at Bobby's house.

"How you holding up?" She asked as she stood in the hallway with Dean.

Not responding to her question he asked, "You all healed up?"

She nodded.

"Thank you, for uhh… saving Bobby. If you hadn't been there…" His voice trailed off.

"What now?" She questioned.

"I don't know? I mean what am I supposed to do? Tie him up every time he tries to kill someone?" Dean said.

Addison shrugged and looked at him.

Shaking his head back and forth he turned and headed into the kitchen.

She followed him, almost running into him when he stopped abruptly.

"Hello Dean. Addison." Death greeted as he looked up from the kitchen table.

"Is that…" Her voice trailed off.

"Death, yeah." Dean responded.

"Join me. Both of you." He said.

Dean slowly walked up to the table and sat down.

Addison lingered in the doorway, a little uncomfortable.

"Sit." Death instructed as he looked at her.

Quickly she crossed the room and sat down at the table with them.

"From a little stand in Los Angeles, known for their bacon hotdogs." He said as he sat one down in front of each of them.

Looking down at the hotdog in front of him Dean asked, "Wow, what's with you and cheap food?"

"I could ask you the same thing." He replied.

"Thought I'd have a treat before I put the ring back on. Heavier than it looks, isn't it? Sometimes you just want the thing off." He said as he watched Dean pulled his ring from his pocket.

"Not hungry?" He asked looking between them.

Addison stayed quiet and looked to Dean.

Laying the ring down on the table he said, "Look, I think you know that I flunked. Oh and by the way, I sucked at being you. I screwed up the whole natural order thing, but I'm sure you knew that too."

"So if you could go back, would you simply kill the little girl? No fuss, no stomping your feet?" he questioned.

"Knowing what I know now? Yeah." Dean answered.

"I'm surprised to hear that. Surprised and glad." Death said as he took a drink from his cup of beer.

"Eat." He instructed them.

Addison and Dean both took a bite of the food he gave them as he split a bottle of beer between the plastic cups in front of them.

Dean took a drink of his beer.

Addison looked up to see Death watching her.

"This beer compliments the food." He said.

"No thanks… I don't really like beer." She admitted as she pushed the plastic cup away.

"Drink." He instructed, giving her a hard stare.

"Okay…" she breathed out as she quickly picked up the cup and took a drink.

"Wrecking the natural order isn't such fun, when you're the one who has to mop up the mess. Is it?" He asked.

"This is hard for you. You throw your life away because you've come to assume that it'll bounce back into your lap. The human soul is not a rubber ball, it's vulnerable, impermanent, but much stronger than you know. And more valuable than you can imagine." Death began to say.

"Wanna know what I think? I think you knew I wouldn't last a day as you." Dean said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Death said as he finished his food.

"I lost, fine. But at least have the balls to admit it was rigged from the jump." Dean said, his voice gruff.

Looking to Dean he said, "Most people speak to me with more respect."

Addison's eyes widened and she nervously drank the rest of her beer down.

"I didn't mean…" Dean began to say, but he cut him off.

"We're done here." Death said as he stood up.

"It's been lovely. But now I'm going to go to hell to get your brothers soul." He said as he picked his bag up from the floor.

"Why would you do that for us?" Addison questioned confused.

"I wouldn't do it for any of you. Dean and his brother keeping coming back... they set off the balance of the universe and cause disruption on a global scale." He said, as he looked over to Dean.

"I apologize for that." Dean quickly said.

"But you have use. Right now, you're all digging at something. And I want you to keep digging." He said.

"You gonna keep being cryptic or..?" Dean asked.

"It's about the souls." Death said, as he focused his attention on Addison when he spoke.

Her forehead lined with confusion.

But before they could ask anything else he put his ring back on and disappeared from the room.

Racing down the stairs, Dean yelled "Bobby, open the door."

"What happened?" Bobby asked them.

They all watched as Death sat down on the bed beside Sam.

"Don't!" Sam yelled franticly as he struggled against the ropes that bound him.

"Now Sam, I'm going to put up a barrier inside your mind. It might feel a little itchy. Do me a favor and don't scratch the wall." Death warned.

"No! Don't touch me!" Sam continued to squirm around.

Addison watched intently as Death opened his bag and pulled Sam's soul from it, and pushed it back into Sam's body.

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><p><strong>AN- _Thank you all so much for reading the latest chapter. I really hope you guys are still enjoying the story, this is still one of my absolute favorites to write. ^_^_**

_**I also want to take a few moments to thank anyone who has added this story to your favorites and/or subscribed for update alerts!**_

**If you're still following along and enjoying the story, please take a few moments to leave a review and let me know. With my time being stretched pretty thin these days, I've really been having to focus my attention on my more popular stories that I know there's strong interest in. **

**It doesn't take very long to leave a couple lines letting me know you've read and (hopefully) liked the chapter, but your support means more than you know. Thank you. ^_^**


	51. Back to Life

**Part Fifty One.**

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><p><em>Every moment and every event of a man's life on earth plants something in his soul. ~Thomas Merton<br>_

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><p>"Cas!" Addison yelled as she found him sitting on the bench in his favorite heaven.<p>

"What?" he asked, as he stood up startled from his thoughts.

"Death put Sam's soul back in his body!" She exclaimed her eyes wide as she looked at him.

"Is he alright?" Castiel questioned.

"We don't know… Dean wants you to see if you can figure anything out and make sure his soul is intact." She said.

Castiel nodded and they went to Bobby's house.

Addison stood outside of the panic room with Dean as Castiel went inside.

Emerging a little while later he rolled his sleeves down and looked at them.

"Well?" Dean asked him.

"His soul is in place." Castiel said, but the look on his face revealed something might be wrong.

"Is he ever going to wake up?" Dean asked, worried about his younger brother.

"I'm not a human doctor, Dean." Castiel reminded him.

"Cas, come on… what do you think?" Addison asked.

"Okay. Probably not." Castiel said as he faced them.

Addison's jaw dropped and Dean raised his eyebrows.

"Well, don't sugar coat it." Dean said.

"I'm sorry, Dean. But I warned you not to put that thing back inside of him." Castiel said.

"That thing, is what makes Sam –Sam. Without his soul, he wasn't him at all. He tried to kill Bobby and stabbed me." Addison argued.

"I wondered why there were bloody clothes on your floor." Castiel said to her.

"What was I supposed to do? Let T-1000 walk around and hope he doesn't open fire?" Dean asked.

Walking up to Dean, Castiel said, "Let me tell you what his soul felt like when I touched it. Like it had been skinned alive, Dean."

Dean looked uneasy at hearing what Cas had to say.

"If you wanted to kill your brother, you should have done it outright." Castiel said his voice gruffer than before.

"Cas!" Addison yelled her eyes slightly narrowed.

Looking between them Castiel ported away from Bobby's house.

"Awesome." Dean said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, he's been really stressed and the wars only getting worse in heaven. He just has a lot going on." Addison defended, but she wasn't sure why he had been acting so different.

"Right." Dean said, disbelief in his tone as he nodded his head.

"Dean…" Addison started to say, but he turned and headed up the stairs to the rest of the house.

Addison sighed and leaned against the iron door frame as she watched Sam still sleeping on the bed.

She lingered a few more minutes before she turned and headed up the stairs.

"Thought you left." Bobby said as she walked in the room with them.

"Still here…" She said, her voice low as she crossed the room and sat down in a chair.

Picking up the bottle of whiskey from his desk, he shook the bottle and looked at her.

"No thanks." She said, as she shook her head back and forth.

Dean and Bobby talked but Addison didn't hear a word of what they were saying.

She wondered what had been making Castiel act so differently, and then she thought of how some days things were absolutely perfect between them.

She felt a twinge of guilt for even considering he might be hiding things from her.

"Dean." Sam said.

Addison gasped and looked up to see him standing in the doorway of the room.

"Sam." Dean said as he turned in his seat and stood up.

"Are you alright?" Dean started to ask, but Sam cut him off as he hugged him.

Tears stung her eyes as she watched them.

Bobby stood from the desk, wondering if Sam remembered trying to kill him.

After he finished hugging Dean, he walked over and hugged Bobby.

Patting his back Bobby said, "It's good to see you."

Addison wiped the tears away that had started to fall down her cheeks. "Damn it, I'm such a girl." She breathed out as he let go of Bobby.

"Addison." Sam said surprised as he walked over and hugged her.

After letting go of her he looked around the room.

"How are you alive?" He asked her.

She looked at him confused but before she could say anything, he looked back to Bobby.

"Wait… I saw, I felt Lucifer snap your neck." Sam said.

"Well Cas kind of…" He started to say.

"Wait, Cas is alive?" Sam asked surprised as he looked over to Addison.

She nodded.

"Yeah, yeah… Cas is fine. Sam, are you okay?" Dean asked.

"Actually, umm… I'm starving." He said.

They all sat around the table and watched as Sam finished his 3rd sandwich and drank down the last of his 2nd bottle of beer.

"So Sam…" Dean began.

"Yeah?" Sam asked him.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Dean asked.

"The field, and then I fell." Sam said, thinking back to the day he jumped in the cage.

"Okay… and then what?" Addison asked.

"I woke up in the panic room." Sam said, looking to her.

"That's it? You don't remember…" Bobby started to bring up when Sam tried to kill him.

Cutting him off Dean said, "Let's be glad… I mean, who wants to remember all that hell."

"How long was I gone?" He asked.

"About a year and a half." Addison told him.

"What?" Sam asked, shocked as he looked to Dean who nodded in agreement with Addison.

"I was downstairs for… I don't remember anything. So how did I get back, was it Cas?" He asked them.

"Not exactly…" Dean responded looking down to the table.

"Dean, what did you do?" Sam asked him, worried Dean had made some kind of deal to bring him back.

"Me and Death…" Dean started to say.

"Death? The horseman?" Sam cut him off, his eyes wide.

"I had leverage. It's done." Dean said.

"Everything is fine, Sam." Addison reassured him.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"It's over, slates wiped." Dean said.

Still a little bitter about almost being killed Bobby said, "Well, isn't this just neat and clean?"

"Yes, it is… for once." Dean said, shooting him a look.

"Is there anything else, I should know?" Sam asked.

"Well…" Bobby started to say but Dean quickly cut him off.

"Addison's not human anymore… and get this her and Cas are mates." Dean said, cutting Bobby's sentence off with the first thing that came to mind.

Addison turned her head and stared at Dean in disbelief.

"Mates… so you guys are…?" Sam's voice trailed off.

"Yeah." Dean said nodding.

Wanting to change the subject she said, "I'm fighting a civil war in heaven."

**~()~**

"Are you okay?" Addison asked as she walked out into the garage and looked at Bobby as he had his car up on a lift and was working on a piece under it.

"Yeah, why?" Bobby asked looking over at her.

"You don't seem like you're happy Sam's back." Addison said bluntly.

"Do you not remember him stabbing you in the gut? Cause I sure remember him trying to kill me." Bobby said looking over at her.

She opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off.

"If you're gonna stand here, at least hold this light." He said as he handed her the light he had been trying to hold in one hand while working on the car with the other.

Nodding she took the light and shined it to where he was working.

"It wasn't Sam who did it though." She defended.

"Maybe not all Sam, but it was him." Bobby argued with her.

"No it wasn't. Without his soul he was some… emotionless robot… that wasn't him." She continued to argue.

"I'm having a hard time even looking at him." Bobby said.

Joining them Dean took a drink from his bottle and said, "Well what do you want to do Bobby? Tell him everything?"

"No. I just wish I could, that's all." Bobby said.

"If we throw that at him… we don't know what will happen. It could crack the wall." Dean said.

"I know… I know." Bobby said nodding.

"Mind shining that thing where I'm working?" He said, looking to Addison who was now holding the light down at her side.

"Right… sorry." She said, as she held it back up to illuminate the bottom of the car.

"As far as I'm concerned it's a gift horse and I'm not looking for teeth. I'm sending Death a damn fruit basket." Dean said.

"He's gonna find out you know. One way or another someone will tell him or he'll figure it out on his own. He's not dumb and he should hear it from us." Bobby warned.

"Let's just leave it alone for right now." Dean said.

"Okay, but we better prep for when he does find out. Cause when Sam finds out we're shining him, it ain't gonna be cute." Bobby said.

"I was doing better holding that myself." He continued as he took the light from Addison that she had again held down at her side.

They stood in silence and Addison looked up to the underneath of the car and said, "Man… wouldn't it just suck if the car fell on all 3 of us?"

Bobby gave her an un-amused look and Dean shook his head back and forth.

**~(A few days later)~**

"Addison." Castiel said as he walked up to the table she was sitting at with her parents and grandmother.

"Cas…" She said her voice trailing off.

He stood beside the table at the restaurant they were having dinner at and looked to her parents and grandmother.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his voice gruff.

She raised her eyebrows, "Well, it's nice to see you too."

"It is always nice to see you Addison. What are you doing here?" He restated his questioned.

"Hello Cas." Rose greeted with a friendly smile as she took a drink of her water.

"Rose." He greeted her back, before he said, "It's too dangerous for you to leave your house."

Rose raised her eyebrows at the tone of his voice.

Addison's mom, Julia looked around to the nearby tables where a few people had started to stare at them.

She lowered her head in slight embarrassment.

Addison looked over to her dad, Grant who was giving Castiel a hard stare. Still uncomfortable with his daughter being an angels mate.

"Please join us." Julia said politely as she noticed more people looking to their table.

"Thank you, but I don't need to eat." Castiel said to her.

Knowing her mom was always concerned with what others thought she sighed and said, "Just sit down."

Shaking his head with a slight irritation he sat down in the only empty seat at the table, right beside Grant.

Grant turned his head and squinting his eyes still staring him down, but Castiel wasn't paying attention to him.

"What were you thinking?" He said, focusing his attention on Addison.

Ignoring him she took a bite of her pasta and then a drink of her water.

"I'm thinking that it's a Friday evening and I wanted to have dinner with my family." She said.

"It's too dangerous." He said shaking his head back and forth.

"I can protect them, and myself if angels attack." Addison defended her decision.

"Protect them from Raphael?" He questioned.

"Raphael is still searching for a new vessel since we turned his last one into a huge pile of salt. The only think that might attack us would be his hench-angels… I can take them." Addison stated confidently.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" Rose bluntly asked him as she took another drink of her water.

"I am in the middle a civil war." Castiel said, looking to her.

Rose shook her head back and forth.

Addison took another bite of her food and looked around the table.

Her grandmother was eating her food, her dad was still staring at Cas, and Addison's mom was nervously stirring the sweetener into her glass of ice tea.

A few more minutes passed in silence.

"Are you just going to sit here and watch us eat?" Addison finally asked him.

"Raphael has every one of his angels on the lookout for your family, to capture them and use them against you. I think this was a foolish choice." He said to her.

Addison bit down on the inside of her cheek, not wanting to fight with him in front of her family.

"Do you always talk to my daughter this way?" Grant asked him.

Cas turned his head and looked to Addison's father.

"I am trying to keep her safe." He said, his voice a little gruff as he spoke.

"Well, it just seems like if you cared about her as much as I've heard then you'd talk to her with a little more respect." Grant said to him.

Addison opened her mouth to say something but Castiel spoke first.

"Addison is more important to me than anything else. I would die to protect her, and I do respect her." Castiel answered him.

Addison shifted uncomfortably in her seat and looked to her grandmother.

"He's normally more polite than this, Grant." Rose said, as she looked to her son.

Reaching over her dad grabbed Castiel's upper arm.

"What are you doing?" Addison asked him, her light green eyes wide.

"You know, for an angel you're pretty scrawny." He stated, his tone flat.

"This is a vessel. My true form is the size of your Chrysler Building." He replied.

"You… you're what?" Grant asked his forehead lined with confusion and shock.

"Okay… well this has been fun, the only thing that could have possibly made this any more uncomfortable would have been to invite Sam and Dean so we could add their family drama to the mix." Addison said, frustration apparent in her voice.

"It's not my intention to make anyone uncomfortable." Castiel said to her.

"Excuse us…" Addison said to her family as she nodded to Castiel, she stood up and walked away.

"She wants me to follow her." Castiel informed them as he stood and followed her.

Addison walked out the front door of the restaurant and stood on the sidewalk with her arms crossed over her chest.

"What the hell was that?" She angrily growled as Castiel faced her.

"Why would you bring your family out of hiding?" He asked.

"Because I wanted to spend some time with them and they were going stir-crazy in that house." She explained.

"I know Raphael is still trying to find a vessel, so I figured I should spend a little bit of time with them before he does take a new vessel. I've not stupid, I know the risks, but I'm at full strength right now, and I've been watching my back. Everything is fine." She said to him.

Looking down to the sidewalk, he was calmer as he looked back up and his eyes met hers.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"I know you're worried about me getting captured, but I'm being careful." She assured him.

He nodded.

"Are you alright?" He questioned.

Looking around them she said, "Yeah, I'm fine… I can't say the same for my parent's though. Especially not my dad."

"You know Cas… I'm trying really hard to be understanding with you. I know you're worried about me, and the war hasn't gotten any better. But lately you've just been really stressed and short tempered. Do I need to be worried?" She asked.

Castiel frowned slightly at her question.

Lately he had been frustrated that he and Crowley weren't any closer to opening purgatory.

"No, you have no reason to be worried." He said, promising himself that he wouldn't take any more of it out on her.

She nodded and wanted to believe him, but something just didn't seem right to her.

"I'm going to get my family back to the house and I'll probably stay there a little while." She explained her plans.

"Okay." He said.

"From now on if you're angry about something… don't bring it up in front of my parents. Pull me to the side, or something." She said, her light green eyes meeting his as she spoke.

He nodded.

"Okay, I'll see you later tonight or tomorrow." She said as she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips.

As she pulled back his eyes locked with hers and he pulled her back in, reclaiming her mouth with his.

She smiled into their kiss as he stepped forward, pressing his body against hers and he held onto her sides.

Forgetting they were on the side walk on a busy city street, she moaned softly against his parted lips and held onto the back of his head and neck, deepening their kiss more.

"Well, looks like you two sorted everything out." Rose said as she stood by Addison's parents just outside of the door.

Addison pulled back from the kiss a little breathless as she looked to her family.

Her grandmother was smiling softly at them.

Julia looked back and forth between her daughter and the angel, still not sure what to make of them together.

Grant awkwardly looked down to the sidewalk.

Addison couldn't help but laugh a little to herself. She hadn't ever really dated anyone before Castiel, so they had never seen her kissing anyone.

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><p><em><strong>AN- I hope you all enjoyed the update. Thank you for reading.**_

_**I also want to take a moment to thank all of you who have added my stories to your favorites, or subscribed for updates! ^_^ I kind of can't believe I'm over 50 chapters in.**_

**Please, take a few moments to leave a review and let me know what you're thinking of this story so far. I appreciate your taking the time to let me know how you think I'm doing, and I love getting feedback from my readers! It would mean the world to me if you'd leave a review... even just a small one to let me know you're still reading. ^_^**


	52. Bizarro Earth

**Part Fifty Two.**

"_Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." ~ Albert Einstein _

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><p>A few weeks later, Addison was in her parents' lake house with her mother and grandmother gathering some photo albums and other things for them to take back with them.<p>

Hearing something clank in the other room she walked into the kitchen and looked at Balthazar confused as he was mixing something up in a bowl.

"What's going on?" Julia asked as she and Rose entered the kitchen with her.

"I have no clue…" Addison said looking at them confused.

"Have you seen the godfather?" He asked them.

"Who is he?" Rose questioned.

"Balthazar, he's an angel." Addison said.

"The godfather, any of you?" He questioned looking back and forth.

"No." Julia and Addison said at the same time.

"Yes." Rose said nodding.

Addison looked to her grandmother with raised eyebrows.

"You know when Michael Corleone sends his men to kill his enemies in one bloody swoop?" He said, not looking up from the bowl.

"Balthazar, what the hell are you talking about?" Addison asked him, growing more confused by the second.

"I am in the process of keeping you safe." He said.

"And why would you do that? You hate me." Addison reminded him of their first meeting.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" He questioned, glancing up to her.

"Oh I don't know, first time we met you did nothing but attempt to convince Cas I needed to be killed." She snapped crossing her arms over her chest.

"Do you trust Cas?" He asked.

"Of course." Addison replied.

"He's the one who sent me." He said.

Addison looked to her mom and grandmother with a shrug.

Picking up a glass jar he had brought with him he poured some of the contents into the mixing bowl.

"Is that blood?" Rose asked, her eyes wide.

"Lambs blood to be exact." He answered.

"Oh my god…" Julia breathed out as she swallowed hard.

"What does any of this have to do with the Godfather?" Rose finally asked.

"We're in it, right now. And staring as Michael Corleone, the archangel Raphael." He explained.

"What?" Addison gasped.

"He's found a vessel and he is after every single one of us." Balthazar explained.

"Where is Cas?" Addison demanded to know.

"He is deep, deep underground. So Raphael put out a hit list. Wanna take a stab in the dark at who's at the very top of the hit list?" He asked her as he crushed up a bone of a lesser saint and added it into the bowl.

"Then I'll get my family back to safety and go into hiding with Cas." Addison said.

"There isn't time." Balthazar said.

She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could a few angels appeared in the house with them.

Knowing she needed to save her strength incase Raphael managed to find her, she drew her angel blade and started to fight them.

Balthazar glanced up at the fight, and back down to the bowl as he added the last few ingredients.

Addison killed one, but the other angel managed to get the upper hand and knocked the blade from her hand.

"Aren't you going to help her?" Julia yelled, looking to Balthazar.

"I'm in the middle of something." He responded nonchalantly as he walked over to the large sliding glass door and began to draw a symbol with the mixture on the glass.

The angel threw Addison down and raised his own angel blade high in the air above her.

But before he could stab her, bright light emitted from his eyes and mouth with a groan of pain as he fell forward and landed dead on the floor.

Addison looked at the angel blade sticking out of the angels back, and then up to where her grandmother was standing.

Walking over to them Balthazar said, "Nicely done." to Rose as he looked down at the dead angel.

"Alright, well time to go." He said as he grabbed Addison's arm and started to pull her towards the sliding glass door.

"Go where? I have to get my family home!" She yelled.

"Cas told me where their safe house is." He said as he pushed her through the glass door.

Landing on the ground with a thud, Addison groaned and looked up.

Her light green eyes widening when she realized it looked like she was on a set for a movie or a TV show.

Turning around she saw there wasn't a door or anything behind her, it was like she had fell out of thin air.

"Oh god…" She breathed out as the crew from the TV show zipped around the set.

She walked around, growing more panicked as she didn't see anyone she knew.

Rounding the corner she saw Cas standing and reading from a paper before he folded it and tucked it in his pocket.

"Cas!" She exclaimed as she excitedly ran up and hugged him.

"Uhhh…" He said, looking at her wide eyed as she stepped backwards.

"I was so worried that Raphael had gotten you, and then Balthazar sent me here and I… I think this is a TV show." She whispered the last part of her sentence as she suspiciously eyed the people walking around them.

"How did you get past security?" He questioned.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, her forehead lined with confusion.

"Security?" He questioned loudly looking around.

"Cas! We have to get out of here before Raphael finds us." Addison pleaded with him.

"Oh…wow…" He responded his blue eyes wide as he stared at her.

"Security!" He yelled louder.

"I don't understand what that means!" She yelled, growing angry with him.

Feeling hands on her arms she looked to each side as there were 2 men in black shirts who now had a hold of her.

"Let go of me!" She yelled as she struggled against their grip on her.

"Nice try, but fun's over." One of them said to her, as they started to pull her away from him.

Wide eyed she looked at Cas as she struggled against their hold on her.

"Don't let them take me!" She pleaded as they started to drag her backwards.

"Cas! Thank god!" Dean yelled as he and Sam started towards them.

"Dean! Sam! Help me!" Addison yelled.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked the security guards angrily.

"She somehow snuck past us onto the set. We're sorry about this." one of them answered.

"No, uhh… it's fine, she's acutally with us." Sam said.

"You brought her onto the set?" He asked as they stopped dragging her away.

"Yes." Dean said nodding.

After they let go her and walked away she looked to Sam and Dean.

"What is all this? What did Balthazar do to us?" Dean asked, looking back to Cas.

"To keep you out of Virgil's reach, he's cast you into an alternate reality. A universe similar to ours in most respects yet dramatically different in others." He responded.

"Why are you talking like that? What the hell is wrong with you?" Addison asked, with her arms crossed over her chest as she narrowed her eyes at him.

Looking over at her he looked back to Dean, "And why did you bring her with you?"

"He didn't! Balthazar sent me here, and I don't know if my mom and grandmother are alive or not!" She yelled.

Castiel looked at her like she was crazy.

"So this alternate universe… it's like Bizarro Earth, right? Except instead of having Bizzaro Superman, we get this clown factory?" Dean asked.

"Yeah… well, anyway no time to explain. Do you have the key?" He asked them.

"Yeah, so what does this thing do anyway?" Sam asked.

"It opens a room." Castiel said.

"What's in the room?" Dean asked.

"Every weapon Balthazar stole from heaven. With those weapons I have a chance to rally my forces." Castiel said.

"What? Are you serious? Why didn't you tell me this?" Addison asked.

Castiel sighed and shook his head as he refused to look at her.

"Oh, okay, good. So now what's the deal with all this TV crap?" Sam said nodding.

"Pardon?" Cas asked.

"Amen, Padaleski." Dean said.

Looking to Addison, Dean said, "They put make up on me!"

"Oh, that's tragic really. Did you miss the part where I said I don't know if my family is still alive? I have to get back to our world." She said, arching an eyebrow at him.

Sighing, his voice changed slightly as Castiel said "Man, they put out new pages?"

Addison watched as he sighed again and pulled the papers he had been reading from his pocket and looked at them.

"Is this some kind of cosmic joke?" Sam asked him.

"Yeah, cause if it is, it's stupid and we don't get it." Dean said gruffly.

Smiling and laughing as he took his tie off he asked, "You guys okay?"

"Give me that." Dean said as he pulled the paper away from him.

"These are words in a script. This isn't Cas." Dean said.

"But look at him." Sam said motioning to him.

"Why are you wearing a t-shirt under there?" She asked, as she watched him unbutton his white shirt.

"Look, guys… I'm still not sure why you brought her here. But since we're all here, you guys wanna run lines?" He asked them.

"His name is Misha! Misha?" Dean said.

"Oh wow, just great. Give me that." Sam said as he took the key back from him.

"Come on, Addy." Dean said as he and Sam started to walk away.

Laughing Misha called after them, "Oh you guys, you really punked me."

"I want to go home." Addison said looking at them.

"Tell me about it. I just wanna dig my finger into my brain and scratch it till we're back in Kansas." Dean replied.

"Hey, J. Ackles… isn't that you?" Sam asked Dean, as he motioned to a trailer.

"That's fake me." Dean said, as he started for the door.

They all 3 went inside and shut the door behind them.

Addison looked to the large fish tank behind them.

"Who puts a 300 gallon aquarium in their trailer?" Sam asked.

"Apparently, Jensen Ackles." Dean responded.

Seeing a laptop computer on the table Sam sat down and said, "Alright, here we go. Let's see who this guy is."

"Alright, here goes. It says your from Texas. It uhh, says you were on a soap opera." Sam said, his voice trailing off.

Playing a clip of one of the episodes of the soap opera they all watched it.

"Aww." Addison said with a small laugh.

Dean shut the computer and said, "I don't like this universe. We need to get out of this universe."

"Yeah, no argument here." Sam said.

Addison sat down at the table and listened to them talk as she wondered if Balthazar had gotten her mom and grandma to safety, and why Cas would have had him send her to an alternate reality.

**~(Later that day)~**

Addison sat in the middle seat of an S.U.V by Dean, and Sam sat upfront in the passenger seat.

"You know whereabouts you want me to drop you off, Jensen?" Cliff, asked as he drove the car.

"That's you." Addison whispered as she nudged Dean.

"Me? Yes, uhh… I'll just tag along with Jared." He answered.

"And who are you?" Cliff asked, looking at Addison in the rearview mirror.

"I'm Addison… I'm a friend of theirs." She said, trying her best to offer a friendly smile.

"Uh-huh." He said nodding.

"Since when are you two talking?" He asked, looking over to Sam.

"Yeah, you know what, Clint?"

"Cliff." He cut him off, reminding him of his correct name.

"Yeah, of course. Cliff obviously. I think we're going back to my place and do some work…" Sam said.

"Work on our acting, for the show." Dean cut in.

Cliff nodded.

"What about you Addison, where am I dropping you off?" He asked.

"She's coming with me too." Sam said.

"Where the hell are we anyway?" Dean asked.

"Canada." Addison replied.

"What? How do you know that?" Dean asked.

She pointed ahead to a large sign that said Vancouver.

Leaning forward Dean said to his brother, "Dude, we're not even in America."

"Whoa… this place is huge…" Addison breathed out as they walked in the large, extravagant house.

"Yeah, nice modest digs, Jay-Z." Dean added.

"Wow, I must be the star of this thing." Sam said.

"Yeah right." Dean scoffed.

"Either way, at least you're both on the show. Security tried to drag me off the set… and I really freaked that Misha guy out. He must have thought I was some crazy fan because I just kept calling him Castiel and I hugged him." She said shaking her head back and forth.

"Oh, now we're talking." Dean said as he spotted a liquor cabinet in the corner of the room.

Looking out of the large window Dean said, "Dude, you have a camel in your back yard."

"It's an alpaca, dumb-ass." A woman said as she started down the staircase.

"Ruby?" Dean asked, shocked.

"Ruby, right… because that one never gets old." She said shaking her head in irritation.

"Who are you?" She asked looking to Addison.

"She's… uhh… a fan of the show." Sam managed to say as he was still in shock.

"A fan of the show? And you just… brought her to our house?" She questioned a stunned look on her face.

"Oh, no… it's not near as creepy as it sounds. I am a fan of the show but I've been friends with… Jensen here for a few years now." She offered.

"Uh-huh, I didn't think you had friends." Genevieve said as she looked to Dean.

"Uhh, of course I have friends." He remarked.

"And you're not really Ruby, I mean how could you be? You are the lovely actress who plays Ruby. And you are in Jared's house because you too are…" His voice trailed off.

"Married. That's a beautiful ring by the way." Addison cut him off, helping Dean out as she saw the ring on her hand.

"Thank you." She said, with a smile.

"I'm Addison by the way." She introduced herself in an attempt to get her name for the rest of them.

"Genevieve." She responded.

"Genevieve… Gen, who played the demon who screwed you over, right." Dean said nodding as he looked to his younger brother.

"What are you doing?" She asked them.

"Work…" Jared replied.

"Just thought I'd pop in and say hey, and maybe run some lines." Dean answered.

"You've never even been to our house." Gen pointed out.

"Well, now that I know there's an alpaca out back. I'm definitely coming back." Dean said, nervously.

"Well, alpacas are the greenest animal." Gen said nodding.

"Well there's The International Otter Adoption Charity dinner, and I'm running late." She said to them.

After kissing Sam, Genevieve said "Well, I'm glad you two are talking anyway." As she looked back and forth between Dean and Sam.

After she was gone, Dean shook his head "Well, it looks like you did alright."

"Yeah…" Sam said nodding.

They got onto the computers and started to order the ingredients that they needed for their spell.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- _Thanks for reading! ^_^ _**

_**There are links to my Polyvore account on my profile, I do sets to go along with some of the chapters for this and a few of my other stories.**_

**I'd really appreciate if you'd take a time to leave me a review, let me know you're still reading. Your support is what keeps me going on this site and getting updates posted as soon as possible. Your kind words truly are my inspiration, and I'm so thankful for all of you!**


	53. Kiss With A Fist

**Part Fifty Three.**

"_One person's craziness is another person's reality." ~ Tim Burton  
><em>

* * *

><p>The next morning Addison sat in the middle seat of the S.U.V with Dean again, while Sam got out to pick up the supplies they had -had flown in.<p>

"So, I don't mean to pry, but why are we picking up packages at 8am, that haven't cleared customs yet?" Cliff asked them from the driver's seat.

"Just saving time." Dean said.

Sam got back in the front passenger seat with the box.

"Alright, here we go." Dean said eyeing the box.

"We're not doing anything illegal, are we?" Cliff asked.

"Would it make you feel better if we said no?" Sam asked.

"No." Cliff replied, as he started the car and drove them to the set.

They all gathered in the set for Bobby's house and began mixing what they needed in the same bowl Balthazar had used when all the lights turned on.

"What's happening?" Addison whispered.

"I don't know…" Dean said, his voice trailing off as the crew started to make their way onto the set.

"What is this? Here for the first run through before anyone else?" Bob Singer asked them as he saw Sam and Dean.

His eyes stopped on Addison.

"Aren't you the one security had to pull off of Misha yesterday?" He asked.

With a nervous laugh she said, "Oh, yeah… that was just a big misunderstanding, he strongly resembles someone I know."

"He said you kept calling him, Castiel." He said.

"Like I said he resembles someone I know." She replied, not sure what else to say.

"Okay… well, we need to get started for the day. So I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave." He said, motioning to a few of the security guards.

"No, no… it's fine. She's with us, she needs to stay." Sam said.

"You two brought a fan onto the set?" He asked them.

"Uhh, well actually she's a friend of ours." Dean said.

Sighing he said, "Alright, fine. But no pictures and we'll need you to sign a confidentiality agreement. We have enough problems with spoilers getting leaked around here."

She nodded.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Dean asked him.

"We're gonna need the set cleared for, safe side an hour or so. Me and... Jared we're gonna do some actor stuff." Dean continued.

"Jensen we're thrilled to see you collaborating so creatively… and your enthusiasm is refreshing. You know, Dean Cain was like that on Lois. And that man's a real actor. And we clear the set exactly when we shoot the two and three-eighths pages we are scheduled to shoot on this set." Bob replied.

"Oh, okay…" Dean said looking to Sam.

"Have a seat in one of their chairs, and don't ruin any takes." Bob said giving Addison a hard stare.

She nodded and Sam led her over to where he had spotted the actors chairs with names on the back.

"So, I guess we're going to have to do a little acting. So, uhh, just sit here in Jared's, errr… my chair and don't let this box out of your sight." Sam said to her.

Addison nodded.

"Oh god…you again." Misha said as he looked up at them from his chair his eyes stopping on Addison.

"Yeah, about yesterday. That was just a mix-up, I'm really sorry." Addison said glancing up to Sam who was stifling a laugh.

"A mix-up… security had to practically pull you off of me." He said.

She raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah, well I was just happy to see you… and it's not my fault you're were unappreciative." Addison said, a jolt of attitude in her voice.

He looked at her confused.

His eyes went to the box that Jared had sat down in Jensen's chair.

"Oh, priority shipping what's in the box?" Misha asked.

"We bought part of a dead person." Sam answered.

"Jared!" A crew member called out.

"I gotta go… don't lose the box." Sam said to her.

"I won't let it out of my sight." Addison said as she sat down in Jared's chair.

"So really what's in the box?" Misha asked her.

"I can't tell you." Addison said, looking around and hoping the scene they needed to shoot would be quick.

He was quiet for a few moments before he said, "So are you on twitter?"

Looking over her shoulder she said, "Am I on twitter? No, I'm not on twitter… I don't have time to tweet… I'm fighting a war."

"A war?" He questioned.

Addison sighed and shook her head back and forth.

After a few hours of watching Sam and Dean attempt to act, and fail miserably. The director called a break.

"Addison!" Sam yelled motioning for her.

Getting the box she joined them and they resumed mixing up what the needed for the spell.

After Dean drew the symbol on the door that he memorized from when Balthazar sent them into the alternate reality.

"You guys ready?" Dean asked them.

"Lets just do this." Addison said and Sam nodded.

On the count of 3 they all ran and crashed through the window.

Landing on the ground with a thud Dean said, "Oh, that one hurt."

"Ow…" Addison complained as she sat up and rubbed her shoulder.

Heading back to Jensen's trailer Sam said, "Maybe we did it wrong."

"We did everything right." Dean responded.

"Maybe it can't work." Sam said.

"What are you talking about?" Addison asked worried.

"Look, I was up all night looking online. There's no sign that anything like the apocalypse happened here, ever. There's no monsters, ghosts, demons they're all pretend." Sam told them.

"What about angels?" Addison asked as she turned and looked to where Sam was sitting.

Sam shook his head back and forth.

"Maybe that's why our spell didn't work… maybe here there's no supernatural, no magic." Sam offered.

"No… this isn't happening. I can't stay in this world… Cas isn't here, there's just some twitter-addicted actor who looks just like him. I am not staying here… I have to get back to Cas." Addison said, feeling panicked as she spoke.

"No demons, no hell, no heaven… no god?" Dean asked.

"Something like that." Sam said.

Heading back on the set, Addison walked in silence beside Sam and Dean as they spoke.

"Maybe we can't get out of Earth number 2 right now, the least we can do is get out of the Canadian part. If I hear one more conversation about hockey I'm going to puke." Dean said.

"No I'm not going anywhere. This is where Cas had Balthazar send me, so this is where Cas is coming to get me. He loves me, he wouldn't just leave me here." Addison said as she looked at them.

Then looking up they saw Misha staring at them, he'd again her talking about Castiel.

"Great, and now he thinks I'm even crazier!" Addison exclaimed frustrated.

As they were walking they ran right into Virgil, the angel Raphael had sent to kill Sam and Dean.

"No!" Sam yelled as Virgil put his hand on Dean's head to kill him.

Addison tried to use her power, but nothing happened.

Looking to Sam wide-eyed she said, "I'm… I'm completely human, I'm useless!"

When nothing happened Virgil looked at Dean shocked.

"Sorry, dude. Mojo-free zone." Dean said to him, as he punched him in the face.

"No magic in the house, which makes you nothing but a dick." Dean said to him.

Addison and Sam ran and joined up with Dean.

Sam joined in the fight and Addison stood back and watched them beat up Virgil.

Crew members quickly ran up and pulled Sam and Dean off of him.

"No, no you don't understand." Sam said.

As the crew held them back, Virgil ran off "We'll break your freaking neck!" Dean angrily yelled after him.

Walking away Dean said, "Virgil broke through, maybe he's got a way to get back."

"Or he has no juice and he's stuck here now, just like us." Sam argued.

Addison's phone went off in her pocket.

Taking it out she looked at it.

"You're phone still works?" Sam asked surprised.

"Don't get too excited, I already tried Bobby… all the numbers in it are useless." She said.

"Then who texted you?" Dean asked.

"No one…" Addison said.

"Addison?" Sam questioned.

"Fine. It was a twitter alert… I'm following Misha on twitter." She admitted looking at them.

"Fake Cas? You're following fake Cas on twitter?" Sam asked.

"He convinced me to..." She said to them.

"What did he say?" Dean asked.

Sam looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"He tweeted: "_Ever get that feeling someone's in the back seat? _and completed it with a frown face emoticon." Addison read to them.

Rolling his eyes Sam felt his pockets to make sure he still had the key, but it was gone. They figured out that Virgil had stolen the key from him.

As they were walking into Jared's house Genevieve stopped them, her mascara was running down her cheeks as she cried "Oh my god, oh my god! Misha, he's been stabbed to death!"

"Yikes… guess someone really was in the backseat…" Addison said.

"Where?" Sam and Dean both asked her.

After they went to the scene of the crime, they learned from a homeless man who witnessed the murder that the killer prayed to Raphael.

The man told them that a voice answered and said, "The voice said for Virgil to return tomorrow at the place where he crossed over, at the time of the crossing. That Raphael would reach through the window and pull him and the key home."

"Dean, can I talk to you?" Sam asked.

"What?" Addison asked.

"Dean?" Sam said nodding to the side trying to get him to walk away.

"No, you need to tell me what is going on. We're all in this together!" Addison said angrily, as she grabbed his arm to keep him from walking away from her.

"Fine… If Virgil gets back with that key, Cas is dead and our world is toast." Sam said.

Addison gasped at the realization that he was right.

"Oh my god… no, we can't let that happen. We have to find Virgil and kill him!" Addison yelled.

Dean nodded. "We have to stop him. I mean how bad can an angel with no wings be?"

"You know that if we drop Virgil and get the key, this might be it… we might be stuck here." Dean told them, as they were now back on the set.

"No we'll figure out a way back." Sam said.

Dean pointed out that Sam had a good life in the world they were in now.

"Dean our friends are back there." Sam said.

"Yeah, but here you got a pretty good life. I mean back home the hits have been coming since you were six months old. You gotta admit being a billionaire married to fake Ruby, the whole package. It's no contest." Dean said.

"No, you know, you were right. We just don't mean the same here, I mean we're not even brothers here, man." Sam said.

Addison sat down on the couch and shakily ran her hands through her hair as she wondered what would happen if they couldn't get back to their world.

"And Addison's going to have to have a break down if we don't get back home soon." Sam said nodding to her.

"Are you freaking kidding me? I'm already having one." She said shaking her head as she looked down at the floor.

"Alright then, let's get our crazy show back home." Dean said.

A little while later they heard gunshots and went to see what was going on.

They saw Virgil shooting all of the cast and crew members on the set.

Addison ran at him from the side, knocking him to the ground. Determined that she wasn't going to let him get back home with the key, it would put Cas in too much danger.

"Addison!" Sam yelled when he saw her tackle Virgil.

Before she could do anything else, he punched the side of her face knocking her off of him.

"Hey!" Dean angrily yelled as he jumped on top of Virgil and began hitting him.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked as he helped Addison up off the floor.

The skin on her cheek was already turning a dark purple color and, the side of her lip was swollen up and the skin busted.

"He… I've been punched. I've never been punched before, It really freaking hurt… oh my god, that hurts." She groaned as she held onto the side of her swollen face.

Sam shook his head and looked up to see Virgil throw Dean across the room.

He quickly jumped in the fight and Addison stood back watching them still holding onto her cheek.

Virgil got the upper hand and pushed Sam backwards.

Addison spotted the handgun he had used and quickly picked it up and fired 3 shots, killing him.

Dean and Sam looked at her surprised.

"Get the key… if Raphael gets the key, Cas is dead!" She yelled at them as she threw the gun to the side on the ground.

Sam quickly searched his pockets and found the key. "Got it!" He exclaimed.

"Uh-oh!" Dean yelled pointing to where a red symbol was glowng on the window.

"It must be Raphael…" Addison said.

"Run!" Dean yelled to everyone.

But just as they started to run all three of them were pulled through the window.

"Well, I expected to find you two." Raphael said, from the female vessel he had taken as he walked up to them.

"But you Addison, what a surprise." He said.

Addison quickly scrambled to her feet and looked around.

"Raphael? Nice meat suit." Dean said.

Looking over to Sam and Addison he said, "Dude, looks like a lady."

Raising his hand, all three of them screamed out in pain as they fell to the ground holding onto their chests.

"The key." Raphael said, and then noticed it laying on the ground where it had fell from Sam's hand.

Appearing by them Balthazar said, "And that will open you a locker at the Albany bus station."

"Really?" Raphael questioned.

"You see I needed a modest decoy, to make it more convincing." Balthazar explained.

Dean, Sam and Addison managed to get back on their feet.

"Give me the weapons." Raphael demanded.

"Sorry darling, they're gone." Balthazar replied.

"What?" Raphael snapped.

"I said, too bloody late. You see they were so well hidden that I needed time to find them. So I volunteered these two marmosets for a game of fetch with Virgil, and Cas wanted his Nephilim out of harm's way." He said.

"You all did a fine job, thank you." He said looking to them.

"You've made your last mistake" Raphael warned him.

"I've got a few more up my sleeve, honey." He said.

Raphael started towards Balthazar but Castiel appeared, "Step away from him. I have the weapons now, Raphael. Their power is with me."

Lightning flashed and the shadow from Castiel's wings moved on the building behind him.

"If you don't want to die tonight, back off." Castiel said gruffly as he walked up to them.

Raphael lingered a few more minutes before he ported himself out of harm's way.

"Well, Cas now that you have your sword, try not to die by it." Balthazar warned his friend, before he left.

Walking up to them Cas ported them all back to Bobby's house.

"You were in on this? Using us as a diversion?'" Sam asked him angrily.

"It was Balthazar's plan, but I would have done the same thing." Castiel told them.

"That's not comforting, Cas." Dean yelled.

"When will I be able to make you understand? If I lose against Raphael we all lose everything." He said to them.

"Yeah Cas we know the stakes, that's about all you've told us." Dean said.

"I'm sorry about all of this, I'll explain when I can." Castiel told them.

Turning and facing her, Castiel's eyes went to Addison's cheek and busted lip.

"What happened to your face?" He asked her, as he watched the bruise disappear now that she was back in her own world.

"Virgil punched me, you know why? Because I tackled him while he was shooting people to get the fake key because I was so concerned with Raphael getting his hands on the key and using the weapons to kill you. And it was really all for nothing." She said, anger in her voice.

"I got you out of harm's way." Castiel said to her.

"We are mates Cas… we're partners, you don't get to take it upon yourself to send me off into another world! I wasn't even part of the TV show they were in." She said motioning to Sam and Dean.

"If security had pulled me off of the set, I wouldn't have been able to get back and I would have been stuck in that world." Addison yelled, growing angrier.

"No, I wouldn't have left you there. I would have found you." He tried to assure her.

"Right." She said with a look of disbelief on her face.

"How could you think I would have left you in an alternate universe?" He asked her.

"Oh I don't know maybe because you had no problem sending me there!" She shouted at him.

Dean and Sam watched them argue as the storm raged on outside.

"I didn't find out Raphael had found a new vessel until the last minute, I had no other option." He defended.

"In the time it took Balthazar to mix up the ingredient for the spells, I could have ported to you so we would work out something. But you just took it upon yourself to send me away." She continued to yell.

"I was trying to protect…" He started to say but she cut him off.

"No, Cas… I understand. Apparently, I can't be trusted to be let in your plans, and I'm an idiot for bringing my family out of hiding for a few days so I can spend time with them while I still could." She snapped at him.

"I never said any of that, you are twisting my words again." He said getting angry at her.

"No, you've made it perfectly clear. And you know what? I don't deserve you treating me like that, or deserve you trying to make me feel guilty." She said.

"Addison…" Castiel started to say.

"No… Screw you, Cas." She said, as she ported herself away to the angel proofed back up house she had set up for her family so he couldn't locate her.

Castiel looked up to Sam and Dean before he ported out of the house.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- _Thank you so much for reading, I hope you all liked the chapter! ^_^_**

**_Have you all been watching the previews for season 9? Earlier today the SpoilerTV_SPN twitter account tweeted a link to a 5 minute sneak peek! I'm so excited for season 9, and the video totally has a shot of Cas in his boxers! _**

**_On my profile are the links to my Polyvore account and the collection of sets on there I've made for this story, check them out if you have time._**

**Please take the time to leave a review if you're still reading this story. I do still love writing this one, but my time available to write is limited. Even if it's just a few lines to let me know you're still reading, that's fine. I appreciate the support so much!**


	54. Fluid Time

**Part Fifty Four.**

_There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love. ~Johnny Depp  
><em>

* * *

><p>"You're sure it's here?" Addison questioned as she looked around Samuel Campbell's office.<p>

"I know it is." Sam said as he and Bobby moved a desk out of the way.

Squatting down Sam opened the trap door in the floor.

"Well, I'll be damned." Bobby said as they all started down the stairs.

Looking around Addison said, "Oh good, cobwebs. Because if this place weren't creepy enough it's chalked full of spiders."

"Welcome to the Campbell family library." Sam said motioning around to the all the old books and journals.

"So Samuel collected all this stuff?" Dean questioned.

"Apparently." Sam said nodding.

"Well, what exactly are we looking for?" Addison asked them, irritation in her voice.

"Well aren't you a barrel of sunshine today?" Bobby asked, looking to her.

"I'm sorry okay. But I was in New York, and there's an art gallery opening tonight that I managed to get a ticket to. But then you all prayed to me and called me begging for my help." Addison said sighing.

"We didn't exactly beg…" Dean said.

"Yeah, you pretty much did." She responded.

"Nobody's heard from you in almost 2 weeks." Sam said to her.

"I've been on vacation." Addison answered.

"Vacation? There's a Purgatory monster on the loose, and not just any Purgatory monster… but the one monster capable of making other monsters… and you decided it's time to take a vacation?" Dean asked her.

"Don't judge me, Dean. You're not the one fused to an angel until the end of time who screwed you over. And for going on a year and a half now I've been fighting every day and not to mention responding to all of your calls when something went wrong on earth. Excuse me, but I think I've earned a little time off." She said to them, her voice strong.

"Alright, look… we know you're mad at Cas, but now isn't the time to start bailing on us." Sam said to her.

Narrowing her eyes she said, "You don't know a thing, Sam. Mind your own business."

"How about you just help us since you're already here?" Bobby cut in.

Taking a deep breath she nodded.

"Okay, good. Now we're looking for anything that will put a run in octomom's stockings." Bobby told them, referring to Eve, the mother of all.

They all gathered stacks of journals and books and sat down around the table.

"Bingo." Bobby said.

Reading over the page in the book he said, "Either of you ever heard anything about a phoenix?"

"River, Joaquin or the giant flaming bird?" Dean asked.

"I'm gonna go with bird." Addison called out, as she continued to read the old journal in her hand.

"It says here that the ashes of a phoenix can burn the mother." Bobby said.

"Great, where do we get one?" Dean asked.

"You got me. I thought it was a myth." Bobby said.

"Alright, great… well, lets see if we can find something about a phoenix." Sam said.

"Hey guys… Samuel Colt… is he the one who made the 'Colt' gun?" She questioned.

"Yeah, why?" Dean asked.

"I'm reading his journal." Addison responded as she turned the page.

"You found Samuel Colt's Journal?" Dean asked.

"Yup." She said.

"Give me that." Dean said excitedly as he took the old leather bound journal away from her.

"Sure Dean, go right ahead… not like I was in the middle of reading it or anything." Addison mumbled.

After a while he said, "Guys! Check this out: _March 5__th__, 1861. Sunrise, Wyoming. Gun killed a phoenix today, left a pile of smoldering ash."_

"I so would have found that, if you hadn't stolen it from me." Addison said sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Does it say what it looks like? Does it have feathers?" Bobby asked.

"It just says phoenix." Dean replied.

"It doesn't say where he tracked it?" Sam asked.

"No." Dean answered.

"I guess we gotta find one of our own. Whatever it is." Addison said, rubbing her temples.

"I know where we can find one… Sunrise, Wyoming 1861. We hop back in time, join up with Samuel Colt, hunt the phoenix. Then we haul the ashes back home with us." Dean said smiling confidently.

"Time travel?" Bobby questioned.

"Yeah." Dean said.

"We know a guy who can swing it." Dean reminded them.

Standing up Addison said, "Alright and that is my cue to leave… good luck guys."

Before anyone could say anything to her she was gone.

**~()~**

"What do you need?" Castiel asked looking to Dean.

They explained to him that they had a way to kill Eve, but that they needed him to send them back in time.

He agreed, and then looked down to the floor.

"What is it?" Sam asked him.

"Have any of you recently spoken with Addison?" He finally asked them, looking up.

"Yeah, she's fine Cas." Dean said.

"When did you last speak with her?" He questioned, his eyes intense as he spoke.

"She was, uhh… she was here a little while ago." Sam admitted.

"Where did she go?" He asked them.

"Don't know, she took off when we called you." Bobby told him.

Cas nodded, clearly unhappy with the news.

"She's fine." Dean restated.

"This is the longest I've been away from her, since she was gone with Crowley." He informed them.

Sam and Dean exchanged looks.

"She's pissed." Bobby said, when the room stayed quiet.

"I know." Cas said nodding.

"Well, you gave her a pretty good reason to be as upset as she is. You trapped her in another world." Bobby said.

"But I did that to protect her." Castiel argued.

"Look, how long has she been doing all of this? It's been years, Cas and she's still kicking. She's doing a good job protecting herself." Sam said to him.

"All of her human emotions are still intact, possibly even heightened. She over-reacts." Castiel told them.

Dean raised his eyebrows and said, "Uhh, Cas… when you find her, don't tell her that or she's going to get mad again."

"It's the truth, Dean." Castiel said.

**~(The next day)~**

Addison flipped through the vinyl records on the display in front of her. She was shopping at Backside Records, in Burbank California.

"Addison." Rachel, an angel in Castiel's army said as she walked up to her.

"Hello Rachel." She said as she picked up a record and tucked it under her arm where she had been carrying her selections.

She looked around the inside of the store.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel questioned.

"Buying some records." She stated as she walked away and over to another display.

Following her Rachel said, "Why are you here?"

Addison looked across the wooden display case as a man who looked up at them with a confused look on his face.

"I haven't really felt like going to heaven, I'm pretty pissed at Cas." She responded, causing the man to look between them with an even more confused expression.

"I've just been enjoying some time on earth." She continued.

"I can't believe what he is turning into." Rachel said to her as she continued to follow Addison around the store.

"He just made some bad choices… it's still Cas." Addison said.

"Bad choices? We all put our faith in him and he has turned into someone else." Rachel said.

"Rachel, no offense but it's not like you're all the fond of me… why are you so mad at him for trapping me in an alternate universe?" She questioned.

"You think that's what I'm here about?" Rachel asked, as she brushed some of her blonde hair from her face.

"Yeah… that's why I'm still mad at him. Why? What are you mad at him for?" Addison asked growing even more confused.

"You really have no idea what he's been doing… do you?" Rachel asked, watching Addison closely.

"What the hell is going on?" Addison asked her.

"You're his mate, Addison." Rachel said, her voice sounded like she was lecturing her.

"Okay you better start talking, because I am more confused than before." Addison said.

"He is going to be the end of you both…" Rachel said as she ported away.

Addison looked around the record store, trying to calm her nerves as she wondered what Rachel could have possibly been talking about.

After paying for her purchase she went to her heaven and took her time putting her newly purchased records away.

Finally she went to find Rachel.

"Oh my god…" Addison breathed out as she saw the angel dead on the floor with an angel blade sticking out of her chest.

Concentrating she ported to Castiel.

Looking around Bobby's living room she saw Castiel lying unconscious on the couch.

"What happened?" She asked, frantic as she looked to Bobby.

"Don't know, he showed up about an hour ago… drew a symbol on the fridge and passed out." Bobby answered her.

Addison looked in the kitchen and immediately recognized the blood spell as an angel warding spell.

"I've been trying to wake him up." Bobby told her as Addison dropped to her knees by the couch and moved Castiel's trench-coat to reveal a stab wound.

"How bad is it?" He asked her.

"Bad… but he'll make it." Addison said with a small sigh of relief as she stared at Castiel with a pained look on her face.

"Cas…" She breathed out, her voice barely over a whisper as she continued to stare at him.

"Good." Bobby said, in response to her saying Cas would make it.

"Good what?" Addison asked as she ran her hand over Cas' hair and continued to stare at him.

"That he'll make it. We're less than 30 minutes away from picking the kids up at frontierland." Bobby explained.

"He will survive this wound, but he is badly injured… he'll kill himself trying." Addison said.

"We can't just leave them there." Bobby argued with her.

"I know." Addison said nodding.

A few minutes passed and Bobby said, "You gonna just sit there and stare at sleeping beauty or are we going to come up with a plan?"

Standing up she looked to Bobby.

"We can't risk Cas trying to retrieve them." She said sternly.

"And we can't leave them stuck in 1861." Bobby said.

"Which is why I'm going to bring them back." Addison said confidently.

"Can you even do that?" He asked, shocked.

"Time is fluid. Cas already created the loop." Addison said as she tried not to seem nervous.

"So all you gotta do is reach in and pull them out of the time loop, angel style?" Bobby asked.

"Not exactly… I can't just reach into the time loop. I have to jump in, then I use my power to break the loop and send all of us back." Addison said.

"You're sure you can pull this off?" Bobby asked her as he looked at the time to see they were less than 10 minutes away.

She nodded.

When time got closer she stood up and said, "Alright, I'll be back."

"Maybe we should try waking him up." Bobby offered still unsure about her trying to do time travel.

"He needs his rest." Addison said, as she looked back to where Cas was still passed out on the couch.

"Don't worry, Bobby. I promise I will send Sam and Dean home safe." Addison said.

"Yeah? And what about yourself?" Bobby asked.

"Let's uhh, let's hope for the best." She said as she disappeared in front of his eyes.

Bobby watched the seconds tick away on the clock.

When it was down to the last second Dean, Sam and Addison appeared in the room.

"You did it." Bobby said surprised looked at her.

She nodded as blood started to run from her nose and ears.

"Addison?" Dean asked looking at her worried

Weakly sitting down in the chair in front of the desk she looked to Sam and said, "I need a trashcan."

Sam quickly grabbed the trashcan and sat it down in front of her.

She stared down into the half-full bag and held onto her stomach as she rocked in pain.

Sitting up with a groan Castiel looked to Sam and Dean confused.

"How did you make it back?" He asked them.

Addison gagged a few times before she vomited blood into the trashcan.

"Addison…" Cas said worried as he stood and walked over to her.

She couldn't say anything as she puked up straight blood into the trashcan.

"What's happening?" Dean asked looking to Bobby.

"Addison is the one who had to pull you guys back… Cas got injured." Bobby explained.

"Why didn't you wake me?" Castiel asked, his eyes focusing on Bobby.

"I tried for over an hour." Bobby admitted as he watched Addison with a worried expression.

Cas swallowed hard and watched her as another round of vomiting blood hit her.

Finally the vomiting stopped and she gasped for air.

"I… I think it stopped." She said looking to the trashcan, it's former contents were all swimming in her bright red blood.

"Addison!" Cas yelled as she passed out and started to fall out of the chair sideways.

He quickly caught her before she hit the floor, and carried her over to the couch where he laid her down gently.

The room was silent as they all watched her.

"Is… is she breathing?" Sam asked taking a few steps closer.

"Barely." Bobby said, his voice quiet.

Castiel stood beside the couch and stared down to her pale face that was stained with blood.

A little while later, Dean said "Cas, she's gonna make it, right? I mean… she'll be fine, right?"

Letting out the breath he had been holding Castiel said, "I don't know."

There was a knock on the door; Sam went to answer it and it was the mailman dropping off the bottle of phoenix ash.

It was in a package from Samuel Colt.

He had gotten the mailing address off of Sam's cellphone.

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><p><strong>AN - Thank you so much for reading. **

**I truly hope you all liked the update.**

**The links to my Polyvore and Tumblr accounts are on my profile! ^_^**

**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated and I really appreciate the support.**


	55. Careless Whisper

**Part Fifty Five.**

"_I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you." ~ Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)  
><em>

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><p><strong>~(AN- Disclaimer: This chapter is really where the 'M' rating of this story comes into play. There is a detailed scene with sexual acts…)~**

* * *

><p>"You, uhh… you need anything?" Bobby asked as he walked back into the living room and looked to Cas.<p>

He was sitting in a chair beside the couch where Addison was still unconscious, wiping the blood off her face with a wet washcloth.

"No." He answered.

"Alright, well I'll be in the kitchen." Bobby said, as he turned and headed back into the kitchen.

The next morning Bobby walked down the stairs groggily. Walking through the living room towards the kitchen, he stopped and looked at Castiel.

He was sitting in the same chair, holding the bloody washcloth still watching Addison.

"Take it she never woke up?" Bobby questioned.

"Not once." Castiel said.

"You all healed up?" Bobby asked him.

"I'm fine." He said nodding.

"Well, we got one of you fixed… now we just gotta fix her." Bobby said.

Cas stayed silent as he turned his attention back to Addison.

Later that day Bobby was outside working on a car.

Addison's light green eyes fluttered open and her eyes scanned the ceiling.

Rising up she saw Castiel sitting in a chair beside her, looking down to the bloody rag in his hands.

So many thoughts rushed through her head; she wondered what Rachel had been talking about and if Sam and Dean had managed to get the phoenix ash.

But most of all she was relieved to see Castiel looked a lot better than the previous day. She had spent the last 2 weeks away from him, and the last thing she wanted to do was start a fight.

So she decided that she'd push her and Rachel's conversation from her head, and not bring it up to him.

"I'm glad you got your strength back, you looked pretty bad." Addison said to him.

Castiel raised his head and looked at her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her.

"Like an idiot." She admitted as she sat up and faced him.

"It wasn't smart to try time travel, Addison." He said to her.

"No, I don't feel like an idiot for that. I feel like an idiot for being so mad at you and staying away for 2 weeks." She told him.

"I missed you." He said.

"I missed you, but I was so upset that you'd do that to me." She said.

"At the time I felt like it was my only option, I see now I was wrong." He said to her.

"You know we have enough enemies and people we can't trust. It can't be like that between us. I trust you more than anyone else, and I need you to trust me." She said.

"I do trust you." He said nodding.

"So you'd tell me if you were up to something not so good, right? Because I could help you get out of a bad situation, Cas. I would help you with anything." She told him.

"Why do you think I've gotten myself into a bad situation?" He asked, feeling a little panicked she had figured out his secret.

"I don't think you have. Just, with everything that's happened lately I just feel like I need to put that out in the open. Nothing could make me stop loving you, ever." She said.

He nodded and watched her closely wondering what was going on in her head.

"How long was I out for?" she questioned.

"A day." He replied.

"Did Sam and Dean get the phoenix ash they needed?" She asked.

He explained how Samuel Colt had mailed the package with a bottle of collected ash.

**~(The next day)~**

Addison walked into the living room of her heaven after showering and sleeping for another few hours to get her strength up.

She shivered slightly as she walked barefoot across the cold hardwood floor.

Standing in front of the large floor to ceiling windows her mind drifted back to what Rachel had said, that Cas would be the end of them both.

She swayed to the beat of the music, not really listening to what song was playing as she continued to try and figure it all out.

Every time she walked in the living room there was a different record in her record player.

"You're looking better." Castiel said as he walked up behind her.

She nodded, and he caught a glimpse of her sad expression in her reflection in the glass.

"Everything okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just a little sad about not being able to see my family anymore." She said, excusing the lie, since she was partly sad about her family having to stay deep in hiding now.

Stepping closer he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her body against him, content to have her back with him.

Looking down to his arms she held onto them and tried to not to think any more about what Rachel had said.

"You've been very quiet since you woke up." Cas said to her, his voice soft as he leaned down and spoke close to her ear.

"I've just been thinking a lot." She admitted to him.

"About what?" He asked her.

"I love you… so much." She said, her voice soft.

"I love you too, Addison." He said.

Turning she faced him, her eyes searching his face as she thought of how far they had come from when she first met him.

Reaching up she held onto his face as she thought of all the times they had come close to losing each other, and how they had lost each other a few times.

Castiel watched her as she studied his face, he wasn't sure what was going on in her head, but he knew she was deep in thought about something.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked her.

Not able to shake Rachel's words from her head she took a deep breath, let go of his face and said, "It's just…"

"It's just what?" He asked her.

Addison thought of how Raphael had taken a new vessel, and he was even more angry and vengeful than before.

A pain shot through her heart at the realization that they were both in even more danger than before.

"Addison?" Castiel questioned growing alarmed by her silence.

"I… I can't lose you." She said, her chin quivering slightly as she spoke.

She again, decided to ignore the feeling in her stomach and push Rachel's words from her mind.

He opened his mouth to say something but she silenced him as she pressed her lips to his.

Reaching up she had one hand on the back of his head and the other on his shoulder.

Taking a step closer he rubbed his hands down her sides, as he pulled her body against him.

Pulling back she broke the kiss and looked into his eyes, telling herself that he wouldn't do anything to put them in danger.

Holding onto the side of her face he ran is thumb over her bottom lip and looked at her intently.

Bringing her face closer to his he passionately reclaimed her mouth, his movements hungrier as their tongues danced.

A steady heat started to flush over her body as his hands slid up her sides, under her shirt.

She thought of how nothing had ever made her feel as alive as his flesh against hers.

Pushing his trench coat off his shoulders and arms, she got to work on removing his tie.

Breaking their kiss he grabbed her shirt and slowly pulled it up over her head.

Leaning forward he rest his forehead against hers and for the first time she heard the song playing on repeat from her record player.

The lyrics put an even more uneasy feeling in her stomach as they stared at each other, both of their breathing labored.

"_Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend. To the heart and mind ignorance is kind. There's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find."_

Her breath was as sweet as honey to him as it hit his lips moments before she kissed him again.

Feeding from the sweetness of each other's mouths, she held onto him tightly as his hands rubbed back down her side slowly, as he took time to savor how silky, smooth her flesh always felt to him.

Trailing searing hot kisses down the side of her face, he focused his mouth on the side of her neck.

Moaning softly she titled her head to the other side, allowing him easier access to the tender skin.

She was breathing so loud, she felt like her entire body was shaking from it as she closed her eyes and tilted her head a little farther.

Her eyes opened as she heard more of the lyrics.

"_Tonight the music seems so loud. I wish that we could lose this crowd. Maybe it's better this way, we'd hurt each other with the things we want to say."_

Zoning out of the moment she was sharing with him, she thought the lyrics were fitting, the music seemed too loud.

And at the moment she wanted any other song to be playing.

Kissing back up her neck he stopped and looked at her.

"Are you okay?" He asked her concerned.

Nodding she said, "I'm fine…"

He nodded back, but still had the feeling there was something she was keeping from him.

Unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it from his body she ran her fingers over his pale flesh, his breathing grew even heavier as her every touch still set his senses on fire.

Soon her bra landed on the floor and she gasped, panting for air as he focused his attention on her sensitive chest.

"_We could have been so good together. We could have lived this dance forever. but now, who's gonna dance with me? Please stay…"_

She swallowed hard as the sad lyrics filled her ears.

Addison had heard that song over a hundred times before, but that night the lyrics seemed to a hit a little too close to home.

Trying to ignore the song, she looked between them and unfastened his belt before she unzipped his pants and slid them down.

Kicking out of them and his shoes, he held back onto her sides.

Hungrily his tongue fiercely twisted with hers, his fingers holding onto her hips over the thin fabric of her dark green silk pajama shorts.

Running her fingertips down his body, she could feel his muscles twitch under her touch.

He let out a low groan into her mouth as she slid her hand under the waistband of his boxers and started to slide her hand up and down his already swollen shaft.

Breaking their kiss, he rested his forehead against hers again. Swallowing hard and staring into her eyes with an adoring look as she continued to stroke him.

A strong desire and passion emitted from their kiss, as his lips smashed against hers, and his fingers dug into her hips.

With the last of their clothing gone, he moved above her as she lay back on her bold, dark purple couch.

Bowing his head and kissing the front of her neck, she panted for air as she pressed her head back against the cushion.

Raising his head he looked at her, his gaze intense as he watched her.

"_I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you…"_

Still trying to block the song out of her head she pulled his face down to hers, and focused on their heated kiss as he ran his hand down her bare outer thigh.

Positioning his manhood between her legs, he pushed himself into her, filling her completely with one movement as she gasped and arched up from the couch against his body.

She no longer heard the song, as she kept her attention focused on the sensations flowing through her, knowing that no one would ever make her feel the way that he could.

She fought for her breath as she rocked her hips with him, as he continuously pushed deep into her heated core.

His body lay flush against hers; she gripped his back tightly and he held her close to him.

Tilting her head sideways she desperately fought for her breath, and he refocused his lips and tongue on the top of her shoulder.

Closing her eyes she moaned as she moved her legs up to better accommodate his slamming thrusts.

She rubbed her hands over the muscled planes of his back, loving the way his body felt against hers.

Resting his forehead against hers, he saw her cheeks had taken on an even darker pink flush of arousal.

Rocking in unconscious time with each other in a rhythm as old as love, she clutched onto his back even tighter as she couldn't lie still beneath him.

His breath rushed in and out of his lungs, growing more shallow and accompanied by small, masculine grunts when he started to move harder and faster against her restless body.

Breathing hurt her lungs and her eyes locked with his again, his sweaty forehead rested against hers.

His breath rushed over her face, as he felt himself getting closer to release.

He thrust deep inside her all through his jarring, pulsing climax. Still holding her sweat peppered, fevered body against his and groaning against her parted lips as he came.

Reaching up she held onto the side of his face, gasping for air through his slamming thrust as he continued to bring her with him over the edge.

Her fingers on the other hand dug into the lean muscles on his upper arm, her breathing was in a frenzy, as she panted and the sensations started to peak.

Grabbing her hand he laced his fingers with hers as she arched up from the couch and her body clenched tightly around his still hardened member.

All other senses were lost to her, when overwhelming waves of pleasure shot through her entire body and she shuddered in his arms.

He slowed, then stopped his movements as she started to come down from her high.

Letting go of her hand, he brushed some tangled hair from her face before pressing a passionate kiss to her still part, damp lips.

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><p><strong>AN- I hope you all really liked the chapter.**

**I'm trying to be more active on Tumblr now, the link is up on my profile. Sometimes I post sneak peaks for upcoming chapters on there. ^_^**

**As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. I always love hearing from my readers and your kind words and support mean the world to me!**

Wham! –Carless Whisper


	56. Sad, Sad Song

**Part Fifty Six.**

"_Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us." ~ David Richo  
><em>

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><p>Addison pulled the front of her blue leather jacket closed as she stood in the living room of her heaven.<p>

Walking over to her fire place she picked up one of the pokers and moved the wood around, wondering why the past few days her heaven had felt so cold.

It had been a few days since they had had any contact with Sam or Dean.

As she looked out of the window she listened to the new record in her player.

"_I'm sorry, so sorry. That I was such a fool. I didn't know, love could be so cruel…"_

"Oh my god! Why are you only playing sad songs?" She asked her record player as she walked over and removed the needle from the vinyl record and returned it to its cardboard case as she added it back to her large collection.

"Did you just talk to your record player?" Castiel asked as he looked around the room.

"I sure did." She said nodding as she looked at him.

He gave her a confused look, and she smiled to herself at the look on his face.

"I think we should see Sam and Dean." He told her.

"Okay…" Addison said.

"To see if they know any more about Eve." He clarified.

"Oh, okay. Umm, yeah… let's go." She said as she walked up to him and leaned up pressing her lips against his.

She still had a feeling something was off, but she didn't want to face the fact that he could be up to something and hiding it from her.

Appearing in the room they heard Dean say, "Why does it always have to be me that calls him? It's not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude's busy."

Sam and Bobby looked to them as Dean spun around.

"Cas, get out of my ass." Dean said.

"I was never in your…" Cas' voice trailed off, realizing Dean hadn't meant it literally.

"You're okay?" Sam said to Addison.

"Yeah." She said nodding.

"Well, it's good to see you're up and walking around." Bobby said to her.

"Uhh, yeah for a few days now." She said nodding.

"Cause when I went outside you were still unconscious and Cas looked like someone shot his puppy. I come back inside and you were both gone. Haven't heard from either of you since." Bobby said.

Addison's lips twitched up into a smile.

"Aww." She said smiling.

"What?" Bobby asked, his voice a little gruff.

"You were worried about me." Addison said.

Bobby shook his head and sighed as he said, "You filled the trashcan puking up blood, then you passed out on us."

"Have you made any progress in locating Eve?" Castiel asked them.

"We were gonna ask you about that." Bobby said.

"I've looked, but she's hidden from all angels." Castiel told them.

"Awesome." Dean replied.

Sam came up with the idea to find a monster who cared, because they needed an inside man.

The brothers told Cas about Lenore, a vampire who only fed from cattle and not humans.

A little while later, Castiel returned with Lenore.

Startled she looked around the basement and started to run from all of them.

"Lenore! Wait!" they yelled after her.

"Look, we're happy you're here." Sam said.

She stopped running and looked around at all of them.

"Do you remember us?" Dean asked her.

"I remember your hunter friend almost killed me." She said.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better he turned into a vampire and I chopped his head off." Sam told her.

Raising an eyebrow Lenore replied, "Well that's something."

"With razor wire… wicked." Dean said.

"What's going on? Why am I here?" She asked them.

"That's Cas, he's our friend. And we need to talk to you." Sam said.

"About Eve." Addison said nodding to her.

"Eve? I have nothing to say about Eve. I'm trying to stay away from her." Lenore admitted to them.

"Where's your nest?" Sam asked her.

"Gone. Couldn't fight it anymore. It's her voice, it's in our heads. What it does to us. They left and started killing again." Lenore said.

"But not you." Sam observed.

"Don't look so impressed. I was hiding in a basement not exactly Club Med." Lenore told them.

"We need to know where Eve is." Dean told her.

"Are you crazy? You want me to tell you where she is? She could be listening to us right now." She asked them.

"I might as well be a video camera, what are you thinking?" Lenore asked them.

"Well, we don't have the element of surprise." Bobby observed.

Lenore told them that Eve was in Grants Pass, Oregon and that she knew they were coming for her.

After revealing Eve's location, Lenore told them she had fed and she wanted to do it again. That she couldn't fight Eve's voice in her head any longer and wanted them to kill her.

Sam tried to reason with her, but Castiel walked up behind her and placed his hand on her head.

Addison's eyes widened as she watched a bright light emit from Lenore's eyes and mouth.

Within seconds it looked like her face had been burned and flames came from her eyes and mouth as she fell dead on the floor.

"Cas…" Addison said, shocked at his behavior.

"We needed to move this along." Castiel defended his actions.

"But… she just helped us. We'd have no leads if it weren't for her." Addison argued.

"She wasn't human." Castiel argued back.

After Sam and Dean got their bag of weapons together, Castiel ported them to Grants Pass.

Addison looked around.

"It doesn't look like where you'd expect to find Eve." Addison's aid.

"Yeah, I was expecting more Zombieland, less Pleasantville." Dean said.

"Exactly." Addison said nodding.

"Just because it looks quiet, don't mean it is. And she knows we're coming." Bobby reminded them.

"Well, if she is here I'm glad we got smitey mcsmiterton on our squad." Dean said looking to Castiel.

They headed into a nearby diner and got a table.

Dean sat by Bobby on one side of the booth and Addison sat on the other side, across from Dean beside Castiel. Sam sat in a chair pulled up to the end of the table.

Sam, Dean and Bobby ordered food.

As Bobby got to work on the tablet computer Sam had brought with them Addison turned her head and stared at Cas, wondering why he was so anxious to find Eve.

"I finally got to the police data base. No thanks to this." Bobby said waving the tablet.

"I asked for a computer." Bobby reminded Sam.

"It is a computer." Addison said.

"No, a computer has buttons." Bobby argued.

He told them that there wasn't anything suspicious going on in town.

"I'll search the town, give me a moment." Castiel said.

Addison watched as he still sat beside her.

"Cas we can still see you." Dean stated.

"Yes, I'm still here." Castiel said.

"Okay, well, you don't have to wait on us…" Dean said.

Castiel nodded, and concentrated his forehead wrinkled as he looked like he was straining.

"What are you doing?" Addison asked him.

"Now you just look like you're pooping." Dean said, looking at his face.

"Something's wrong." Castiel said.

"Are you stuck?" Dean asked him.

"I'm blocked." Castiel said.

"Are you okay?" Addison asked concerned as she placed her hand on his arm.

"I'm powerless." Castiel said shocked as he looked at her.

"Are you joking?" Dean asked.

"Something in this town is affecting me… it must be Eve." He said.

"So wait mom is making you limp?" Dean asked.

"Figuratively, yes." Castiel answered him.

"Great, because without your power, you're just a baby in a trench coat." Dean said shaking his head back and forth.

Addison saw Castiel turn his head and look out of the window.

Narrowing her eyes at Dean she kicked his leg under the table.

"What was that for?" He asked with a groan of pain.

"For a being a jerk." She answered him.

"I think you hurt his feelings." Sam said to his brother as he took a bite of his salad.

**~()~**

After getting a lead, they decided that they'd be able to cover more ground if they split up.

Addison went with Dean and Cas to the local doctor office.

They got there right as the office was being locked up.

"Excuse me, my friend is very sick." Dean said nodding towards Addison.

"Yes, I have… uhh." Her voice trailed off, Dean had caught her off guard.

Trying to help her out Castiel said, "A painful burning sensation."

Addison's eyes widened in shock as she looked to Cas, and Dean was barely able to hold his laughter.

"Oh…" the receptionist said looking between the three of them.

Regaining her composure she said, "The doctor isn't in today I'm sorry."

"Do you know where he is?" Dean asked, still fighting back laughter.

"He hasn't called in." The receptionists told them.

Addison continued to stare at Cas in a state of shock.

"Umm, he's joking. I am sick but I don't have a painful burning sensation… of any kind." Addison clarified.

"I didn't know what else to tell her." Castiel said looking to her.

The woman looked between the three of them again.

"I'd try to get to a doctor as soon as possible, but in the meantime maybe stop by a drug store and get you some ointment." She offered, pausing for a moment to look between them again before turning and walking away.

"Thank you…" Addison called after her.

"I cannot believe you said that!" Addison said looking to Cas, as Dean started laughing.

"I was just trying to help you, and a doctor would be needed for a painful burning sensation." Castiel defended his actions.

Addison's cheeks darkened.

"Yeah, but I certainly would not bring two guys with me to the doctor for that! You know how the three of us had to look, right?" She asked.

"No, how did we look?" He asked her.

Addison turned her head and blankly stared at Dean who was still laughing.

"Can we please just get back to the case?" She asked.

Nodding Dean said, "What kind of doctor calls the CDC and then goes missing the next day?"

Going around the back of the building, Dean pulled out his lock picking kit and started to pick the lock on the door.

Looking around them and then sighing Castiel asked, "Is this going to take a long time?"

Addison looked to the side where there was an outside storage space with a lattice door.

Walking over she opened it and looked in.

"Uhh, guys… we've got a body." Addison informed them.

Quickly Dean walked over to her and into the storage space, moving the plastic to reveal the dead body of the patient the CDC report was filed for.

"It's Ed Bright." Castiel told them.

"What kind of doctor calls the CDC and then stashes the gooey corpse in his shed?" Dean asked shaking his head.

Looking to Dean Castiel said, "I don't understand what's happening here."

"It was a rhetorical question… didn't require an answer." Addison breathed out.

After Sam and Bobby went to the doctors house, they all met up at Ed Bright's residence.

"So we got a missing doctor and an oozy patient." Dean told them.

Bobby nodded.

"Oh, and Addison has a painful, burning sensation." Dean told them.

"Dean!" Addison yelled looking at him.

He laughed, "Sorry, I couldn't help it."

"Uhh, what?" Sam asked.

"She doesn't. I made it up." Castiel informed Sam and Bobby.

"Can we please stay focused on the case?" She asked as she turned and walked away from all of them towards the house.

They were wanting to talk to his roommates.

"Does Ed Bright have a brother?" Castiel asked as they all headed to the house.

"No, why?" Bobby asked him.

"Then that can't be his twin." Castiel stated nodding towards the window.

They all looked up to see Ed Bright.

"What the…" Addison said.

"Sam and I are going in, you all stay out here and watch the door. Anything comes out shoot it, best guess silver bullets." Dean said.

"I'm fairly unpracticed with firearms." Castiel pointed out.

"You know who wines, Cas? Babies." Dean said.

Addison narrowed her eyes at him.

"You know who talks to their friends like that? Dicks." She stated flatly.

Dean glanced at her before heading into the house with Sam.

Coming out of the house Dean said, "A bunch of regular Joes wake up as shifters, what the hell?"

All of Ed Bright's roommates had turned into a spitting image of him, before getting sick and dying.

"Shifters usually run in families, this looks like an infection." Bobby said.

Sam said Ed's roommate Marshall said they had met a girl at a bar and they all agreed it could have been Eve.

"But why would she do this?" Cas asked.

"Mother of all… making more babies, I guess." Addison offered an explanation.

"But he has a good point, if she's gonna make a shifter army, why make one that's sick, gooey and dying?" Dean asked the group.

"Add that to the pile of crap that don't make sense." Bobby said with a shrug.

Going to the bar, Addison's eyes widened as they saw dead bodies everywhere inside the closed bar.

Looking around Bobby said, "Well, the sheriff's a mook but still you'd think he'd notice this many missing folks."

Grabbing a napkin Dean looked in the mouth of one of the dead bodies. "Got a vamp over here."

Then noticing a spike protruding from her wrist he said, "Scratch that we got a wraith."

"Or some kind of messed up hybrid monster." Addison said looking around.

"Yeah, what has teeth and a spike?" Dean asked.

"Never seen that in my life. Congrats you discovered it, you get to name it." Bobby told him.

"Jefferson Starships. Because they're horrible and hard to kill." Dean said.

"Hands where we can see them!" A voice yelled.

Addison jumped and spun around, she was closest to the door to see 3 policemen with their guns drawn.

"Now this is not what it looks like." Castiel said to them.

"We're the Feds." Bobby lied.

"Yeah, well the Feds aren't allowed to do this."

"Cuff them." The sheriff said as he lowered his gun and handcuffed Addison.

"Oh my god…" She breathed out.

Bobby looked at her as another cop handcuffed him.

"I… I've never been arrested before." She said, her light green eyes wide.

Each cop grabbed one of the guys, and the sheriff looked at Addison.

"Out to the car." He instructed.

Sighing she turned around and walked out to the police car.

As they were all pulled into the police station, Sam yelled "If we could just make a phone call this would all be straightened out."

"Straighten out a massacre? I'd like to see you try." The Sherriff said.

"We didn't kill those people." Addison said.

As she walked in, behind all of them hands still handcuffed behind her back but not viewing her as a threat, the 3 cops kept their hold on Sam, Dean and Bobby.

Sam stopped walking as he saw the police on the live security feed in the television monitor on the wall.

Throwing his head backwards he hit the cop in the face knocking him backwards.

"Jefferson Starships!" Sam warned everyone.

Bobby started to fight the officer that had ahold of him, Addison looked over to see the 3rd cop slam Castiel against the wall, as he bared his vampire fangs.

"No!" Addison yelled as she charged the Starship and knocked him down on the ground, but being handcuffed she fell down to.

Quickly pinning her down, he held his wrist above her face and she squirmed trying to get away as she saw the wraith spike extending from his wrist.

Castiel walked forward and quickly kicked the officer off of her.

Addison breathed a small sigh of relief, but the relief was short lived as the cop came at her again, but Dean cut its head off.

After killing the cop attacking Bobby, he went after the Sherriff who had pinned Sam to the wall and was going for his neck.

Sam stopped Dean from killing it, reasoning that they needed answers.

Dean unlocked Cas's handcuffs, and handed him the key, as he took a key off another cop to free Bobby and Sam.

"Are you okay?" Cas asked her as he unlocked the handcuffs.

"I kinda hurt my wrist when he threw me down on the floor, but I'm okay." She said nodding.

Chaining the Sherriff up, Bobby started to interrogate him when they heard noises coming from down the hallway.

Thinking it was more starships Dean and Sam went to check it out and returned with two young boys, the doctor's children.

"Do you have any other family?" Dean asked the oldest boy.

"An uncle in Merritt." He replied

"Merritt? What's that, like 15 miles outside of town?" Dean asked.

"Dean can I have a word?" Castiel asked him.

Pulling Dean to the side, Addison joined their conversation as Cas said, "We need to find Eve, now."

"Yeah. Me and Sam just gotta make a milk run." Dean said nodding.

"But we need your help here." Castiel told him.

"He'll help after he gets the kids to safety." Addison defended.

"We need to find Eve, now." Castiel restated.

"Hold your water. We'll be back in a few." Dean argued.

"Dean, millions of lives are at stake here, not just two." Castiel said.

"Are you kidding?" Dean asked.

"There is a greater purpose." Castiel said.

"I'm getting a little sick and tired of the greater purposes, okay. I think what I'd like to do right now is save a couple of kids, if you don't mind." Dean said.

"We'll catch up." Dean said, giving him a disbelieving look.

Once Sam and Dean had left with the kids, Addison looked to Castiel. "What the hell was that about?"

Sighing Castiel turned and started to walk away.

"Do not walk away from me when I'm trying to talk to you." Addison said, grabbing his arm.

Stopping he turned and faced her.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked, his voice gruff.

"Umm, lets start with why finding Eve is such an important thing to check off of your to-do list?" She asked, an eyebrow arched at him.

"I don't want her to unleash any more chaos." He said.

"You sure it isn't something more?" Addison asked, feeling like he wasn't giving her the entire story.

"What else could it be, Addison?" Castiel asked her.

She shrugged, "I don't know, but I'd really love to start getting some honest answers out of you.. not half-truths and you deflecting my questions all the time."

"I am not lying to you." He said, his voice was low and almost had a slight growl to it.

"Then why are you getting so angry?" She questioned.

"We need to find Eve. Millions of lives are at stake." He said as he turned and walked away, leaving her with an even sicker feeling in her stomach.

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><p><strong>AN- I really hope you all liked the chapter, thank you so much for reading.**

**New Supernatural tonight, who else is excited!?**

**If you're still a fan of this story, I'd really appreciate it if you'd take the time to leave a review and let me know you're still reading.**

Lyrics at beginning of chapter: Brenda Lee – I'm sorry)


	57. To Believe It's All Been Worth the Fight

**Part Fifty Seven.**

"_Oh, what a tangled web we weave...when first we practice to deceive." ~ Walter Scott  
><em>

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><p>"Trouble in paradise?" Bobby questioned as he found Addison leaned up against a desk.<p>

"Didn't anyone ever tell you paradise is over rated?" She responded with a heavy sigh.

"What's going on?" He asked her.

"It's just…" Her voice trailed off.

"It's nothing, we'll work things out." She said, wondering what Castiel had been up to but didn't want to speak bad about him to anyone.

After a little while he walked into the next room and found Castiel staring out of a window.

"They won't be gone long." Bobby assured him about Sam and Dean.

"You don't know that. They may find more wayward orphans." Castiel replied flatly.

"Oh, don't get cute." Bobby said.

"Right, pardon me for highlighting their crippling and dangerous empathetic response with sarcasm." Castiel said.

Addison walked in the room just in time to hear his words.

She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him in disbelief.

"Come on, you don't let Sam and Dean Winchester do squat. They do what they gotta." Bobby said.

Continuing he said, "Anyways, we want Eve. We want coordinates, so we can stand here bellyaching or we can go poke that pig till he squeals."

After Bobby tried some more torture to get answers from the Sherriff, Castiel said, "I need five minutes alone with him."

"What for?" Bobby asked him, as Addison looked at him confused.

"Cas, your batteries are dead." Bobby reminded him.

"Give me 5 minutes." Castiel said again as he went in the room and shut the door behind him.

After he went in Addison looked to Bobby and said, "We can't let him go in there by himself."

"He said, 5 minutes. I'm taking a break." Bobby said.

As quietly as possible she turned the door knob and opened the door.

Her eyes widened as she saw Cas ruthlessly torture the Jefferson Starship until he gave up Eve's location.

Turning around Castiel looked at her, his blue eyes wide at realizing she had watched the whole thing.

"We needed answers." He said.

Nodding she said, "No, I get it… this is important. When the angels had my dad, I tortured one for answers. But it took me a lot longer than 5 minutes. I wasn't aware you were such a torture master."

He watched her as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"No one else was getting anywhere with him and we needed answers now." He said.

"Whatever you say." Addison said, as she turned and walked away.

Walking into the main office with Bobby she said, "25 Buckly Street… I don't think it even took him a whole 3 minutes."

A few moments later Castiel entered the room "Eve's at 25 Buckley Street, you can call Sam and Dean."

Bobby watched as he wiped his bloody hands off with a paper towel and threw it into the trashcan.

After Sam and Dean returned Dean passed out the phoenix ash laced ammunition.

Once they reached the address, they found out it was the same diner they had been in earlier.

"There's one way to draw her out. Me and Sam will go in." Dean said his plan.

"Dean!" Bobby grumbled.

"Look, we don't get a shot off, one of you three better." Dean said.

"That's the plan?" Addison asked.

"Yeah." Dean said nodding.

Sam handed them a bag with the shotguns while he and Dean took the other bag inside.

"Well at least it ain't complicated." Bobby said.

They watched as all the blinds in the diner closed.

"Well, that isn't a good sign. We going in?" Addison asked, looking to Bobby.

"I don't think it would be wise to stand out here." Castiel answered.

"Thanks for the input, but I wasn't talking to you." She said looking at him before turning her attention back to Bobby.

After a little while Bobby said, "There's a side entrance and a door around back."

"Alright well, I guess I'll head around back." Addison said as she picked up her shot gun and started towards the diner.

"I'll come with you." Castiel said.

"Actually, I can do this by myself. You stay with Bobby and take the side." she called after him, not able to be around him with the way he kept lying to her.

As she rounded the back of the building she was grabbed by 2 of the Starships.

"There's the Nephilimn." Eve said as they dragged her inside.

"So much for plan B, boys." Eve said looking back to Sam and Dean.

"Sorry." Addison said with an apologetic look to them.

"So, what do you say? Work for me, find Crowley?" Eve turned her attention back to Sam and Dean.

"Crowley's dead." Addison argued as she stood up from where they had dropped her on the floor.

"He's not. I see his face through every single one of my children he skins and tortures, he's alive." Eve said to her.

"No." Dean said to Eve.

"Dean…" Sam started to reason.

"Sam, no. The answer is no." Dean refused to work for her.

"You say that like you have another option." Eve responded, amused at him.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't." Dean retorted.

"You think?" Eve questioned.

The side door opened and Bobby and Cas were dragged inside, their weapons taken.

"And so much for plan C." Eve said.

Walking up to Castiel Eve said, "And you, wondering why so flaccid? I'm older than you, Castiel. I know what makes angels tick. As long as I'm around, consider yourself unplugged."

"Work for me, it's a good deal." Eve said truing her focus back to Sam and Dean.

"Bonus, I won't kill your friends." She continued.

"Alright look, for the last few months we've been working for an evil dick. We're not about to sign up for an evil bitch." Dean snapped at her.

"We don't work with demons. We don't work with monsters. And if that means you gotta kill us, then kill us." Dean continued.

"Or, I turn you and you do what I want anyway." She said.

"Beat me with a wire hanger, answers still no." Dean said.

Quickly Eve was behind him, holding onto his shoulders.

Addison moved forward but she was quickly held back by a starship. Two other starships kept Sam back as Eve leaned down and spoke in Dean's ear, "Don't test me."

"Bite me." Dean growled.

Leaning forward Eve bit into Dean's neck.

Everyone tried to break free, but none of them could over power the starships.

After biting him she leaned back coughing and spitting.

"One shell, one ounce of whiskey, down the hatch." Dean said.

He had mixed the phoenix ash into a shot and taken it.

Light flashed through Eve's chest and black liquid started to seep from her nose and hairline.

"Shut your eyes!" Castiel yelled as Eve died and all the Starships started to attack.

He shot a blinding white light through the diner that killed all the monsters.

Cas looked down to Eve's dead body on the floor.

"Cas, Dean's bleeding pretty good." Sam said.

"I think she turned me into a Jefferson starship." Dean said in a pained voice.

Putting his hand on Dean's shoulder he healed completely.

Addison watched Castiel, her light green eyes growing sad. He seemed like himself again, and she started to wonder again if she was over-reacting.

"Alright, we're good. We gotta go now." Dean said.

"Where?" Castiel asked.

"The kid… he was a starship." Dean said.

"Unbelievable." Cas said shaking his head back and forth.

"Yeah, I know Cas. You told me, alright. Let's just go." Dean said.

Once they were at the uncles house that Sam and Dean had dropped the boys off at, they looked to the dead uncle on the living room floor.

Making her way down a hallway, Addison opened a door to the basement and looked down to see both young boys dead.

"Found them." She said taking a deep breath.

Coughing she plugged her nose, "It smells like hell."

"That's one way to describe it." Bobby said as he started down the hallway to her.

"No, I mean it literally smells like it smelt when I was in hell… sulfur." She corrected.

Everyone joined her at the basement door.

"That' because there is sulfur." Sam said running his finger through some yellow power.

"Demons…" Dean breathed out.

"What do you think?" Sam asked them.

"I think that demons don't give a crap about monster tweens. Unless their told to." Dean responded.

"So you think Eve was telling the truth?" Sam asked

"The truth about what?" Cas asked them.

"Eve said that Crowley is still alive." Addison said, watching his reaction closely.

She thought to herself that for a moment, he had the same knowing look he did when she told him Sam was alive, and he had already known it.

Covering it up quickly he asked, "But I burned his bones. How?"

"Was she certain?" Castiel asked Dean.

"Sounded pretty sure." Dean admitted.

"According to her, Crowley is still waterboarding her kids somewhere." Dean explained.

"I don't understand." Castiel said looking down to the floor.

"Well, he's a crafty son of a bitch." Dean excused.

"I'm an angel." Castiel said.

Putting her hand on his arm Addison said, "It's okay, Cas. I mean it's not your fault… it's not like you helped him fake his death or anything. You'd never do that."

She felt his body tense under her hand before he slowly turned his head and looked at her.

"I will look into this immediately, you get them home." He said to her as he ported away.

Addison rubbed her hands through her hair and looked at them.

"How did Crowley get away?" Bobby asked.

"It's not like Cas to make mistakes like that… unless…" His voice trailed off.

"Unless he meant to." Bobby pointed out.

"Bobby this is Cas we're talking about." Dean defended his friend.

"Do you believe this?" Dean asked looking to Sam.

Sam avoided his brother's eyes. "It's probably nothing. It's just, no you're right it's probably nothing."

"Addison?" Dean asked, noticing she was staying quiet.

Swallowing hard she said, "No, I don't… I can't believe this. It's Cas…"

**~(The next day)~**

Addison sat on the bench that Castiel always sat on in his favorite heaven, she stared down to the ground as she thought of how much things had changed.

A year ago she trusted Cas more than anybody else, even her family and people she had known her whole life.

But now she doubted everything he said to her.

It felt like her lungs had collapsed when she thought of when Death had told her that it was all about the souls.

He was speaking to her and Dean, but yet he focused his attention entirely on her for that sentence.

At the time it had only confused her, but now it just felt like she had been slapped in the face with the obvious answer.

It was well over a year and half ago that she caught Crowley trying to convince Castiel to join him in opening Purgatory to steal the souls.

Since that day, Cas had slowly been changing. He freaked out on her every time she had any contact with Crowley.

Shaking her head she thought of how Crowley hadn't killed her, even though he had –had multiple chances to take her out. But Crowley knew she was fused to Cas, and that chances were one wouldn't survive without the other.

So he kept her alive, because he needed Castiel alive to get Purgatory.

Her stomach turned at the thoughts of how Cas had been lying to her face this entire time, pretending to help them when he was really helping Crowley.

And yet, she still hated herself for thinking such thoughts about him, without concrete proof that he had been screwing them all over.

"Addison, I've been looking for you." Castiel said as he walked up to her.

"You know… I get why you like it here so much, it's peaceful… makes it easy to think." She said, not looking up.

"Are you okay?" He asked her.

"No, I'm not." She said, finally looking up at him.

"What's wrong?" He questioned.

"I hate myself for thinking any of this… but I've been holding it inside so long that it's eating me alive and I can't ignore it any longer." She said, to him.

"Tell me." He urged her.

"I love you, more than anything I can sympathize that over this past year and a half we've been pushed to our limit and forced to do things we didn't think we would. But something isn't right with you… and I've done everything I could to ignore it time and time again. But ignorance isn't bliss anymore and I need you to be 100% honest with me." She said.

"What is this about Addison?" He asked her.

"Crowley." She admitted.

"I've been looking, but I haven't found any leads. I'm not sure Eve was correct." Castiel said.

"Did you agree to open Purgatory to split the souls with him?" She questioned.

"No." He said, an unfamiliar expression spread over his face.

"Did you purposely burn the wrong bones?" She continued her line of questioning.

"No, at least not on purpose." Castiel said.

"Are you straight up lying to me, right now?" Addison asked

"No, Addison. Why don't you believe me?" He asked her, feeling a little panicked.

"I love you so much." She said, her eyes stung with tear as she spoke to him.

"And I love you." He said.

"I know, and I believe that. And there was a time when I believed in your more than life itself. But Cas something is different, and you can't keep lying to me." She said.

"I don't know why you are so set on the idea that I've been lying to you." He said, a touch of anger showing through in his voice.

"I'm not set on that. I just, don't know what to do anymore. I feel so stupid for ignoring all the warning signs, all because I didn't want to believe that you could possibly be lying to me and working with Crowley." She said.

"I am an angel, Addison. I don't work with demons." He said, taking a step towards her.

"Tell me how you got so skilled in torture." She demanded, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I am not skilled in it. We needed Eve's location and Bobby was getting nowhere with him. If we hadn't killed Eve, it would have put the lives of billions of people at risk." He said.

"So you turned to torture to save the world?" She asked.

"Yes." Castiel said.

"Is that all you were trying to save?" She questioned.

"What else would it be?" He asked.

"I don't know, Crowley's ass." Addison offered her thoughts.

"Crowley is dead." Castiel reminded her.

"Eve wanted Crowley dead… if you're his partner in a deal, you'd need him alive so you'd take risks to keep him alive for your greater purpose." She said.

Taking a deep shuddering breath she turned and put her back to him, quickly trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Addison…" He said his voice softer as he put his hand on her arm and turned her to face him.

She looked at him with tears pouring down her face.

"I… I want so bad to believe you. But I don't know what to believe anymore nothing makes sense." She said, her voice cracked and her body shook as she talked.

He swallowed hard as he looked at her, knowing how much what he had been doing was hurting her.

But he was in too deep to turn back now.

"Believe me, Addison." He said, as he pulled her shuddering body against him.

Slowly she raised her arm and held onto him, closing her eyes and breathing in his familiar scent.

"I want things to be like they were… I miss the way we used to be." She admitted, clutching into him as she continued to cry.

"When this is all over and we've defeated Raphael, things will be normal again. The war will be over and everything will be better. Everything we've done will be worth it." He said, trying to convince himself.

She nodded and stood in his arms as he held her close and she tried to stop her tears.

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><p><strong>AN- Thank you all for reading! I hope you guys all really liked the chapter. ^_^**

**How is everyone liking season 9 so far?**

**I'm a little surprised I have to even point this out, but this is a Castiel/OC fanfic. It's clearly stated in the story description, along with 'Castiel and OC' being the only characters listed. If you like Dean/Jensen a lot better than Castiel/Misha then go read a Dean/OC story, instead of this one. Which again, is clearly a Cas story and not a Dean one.**

**Sorry for having to put that in the authors note, and thank you so much for everyone who has supported this story and left kind words in reviews. **


	58. Crowley

**Part Fifty Eight.**

"_The eternal difference between right and wrong does not fluctuate, it is immutable." ~Patrick Henry  
><em>

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><p>"What the hell are you doing?" Bobby asked startled as he flipped on the light in the living room and looked at Addison sitting at the desk.<p>

"I've never had whiskey before…" She said as she took another drink from her glass.

Bobby looked around even more confused.

"It's the middle of the night and you're sitting in my house with all the lights off drinking whiskey?" He asked.

Nodding she said, "It kind of burns."

"Uh-huh." Bobby said nodding.

Crossing the room Bobby sat down in the chair across from the desk and looked at her.

"I'm not human anymore." Addison said.

"Addison, I'm not following." Bobby admitted.

"I'm not human… but I know right from wrong." She said.

Taking a deep breath she said, "I love, Cas. I love him so much and I'd die for him in a heartbeat."

"You don't say…" Bobby said, his words were sarcastic, but his tone was soft.

"And as sick as it sounds, I wish my view of right and wrong we're blurred so that I could help him with what he's been doing. I know that's wrong, but it's what I want. I want him above anything else." She said, swallowing hard as she spoke.

"That is a kind of twisted thought." Bobby agreed with her.

She let out a dry laugh.

"I still feel human. And I know right from wrong." She repeated again.

"What are you trying to say?" Bobby asked her.

"I hate myself… I hate myself for doing this to him, and for going behind his back." She said as she downed the rest of her glass and stood up.

"You're worrying me." bobby admitted to her wishing she'd speak plain and stop being cryptic.

"I've known for a long time that something was off with Cas. But I didn't want to believe it; I couldn't let myself believe it. Because if I let myself believe it than I'd have to admit that I pretty much gave up everything for someone who has spent well over a year lying to my face." She said her voice growing hoarse as she paced the floor.

Standing up Bobby said, "So Cas is working with Crowley?"

"Do you know what's going to happen to me when I die?" she said, it was a question but she said it as a statement.

"No." Bobby said.

"Yeah, me either. But I can tell you that I'm not going to spend forever in my own paradise. I gave up my mortal life and my shot at heaven to stay with him." She admitted, her chin quivering as she spoke to him.

"That's some pretty heavy stuff." Bobby said.

"I don't want to live forever. I'm technically only in my early 20's and I'm exhausted. I want to live my life and do my time in this hell we call earth and when my numbers up I want to rest, live in my apartment in heaven and never feel pain or any negative emotion again. I want to know true peace." She told him.

"And I've been so afraid to say it out loud, because I know Cas feels guilty about it and I didn't want to make him feel worse." Addison continued.

Bobby looked around his living room, not sure how to respond to her.

She was normally joking and happy, but standing in front of him then she looked like someone who had hit complete rock bottom, no life left in her light green eyes.

"And he's been lying to me. All I have ever tried to do is help him… how could he do this to me?" She asked, quickly wiping some tears away from her cheeks.

"I don't know. For the life of me I don't know why any of this has happened." Bobby told her.

"I'm his mate… fused to him until the end of time, or until one of us dies. And the way we feel about each other is a stronger, deeper feeling than any human will ever know. I will never love anybody else, and neither will he. If one of us gets killed, the other has almost no chance of surviving because the loss would be so devastating." Addison explained.

Bobby's eyes widened at her words.

"I hate myself for doing this." She repeated what she had said earlier.

"For what? Pouring your guts out?" Bobby asked.

"No… come on." Addison said as she started towards the basement.

With the way she was acting Bobby was a little apprehensive to follow her but he did anyway.

Bobby looked at a man tied to a chair and gagged in the center of a devils trap.

"Since he had to fake his death, Crowley's been having to use his demons as hunters. From what I understand, he's one of the best demon-turned-hunters out there. Took out a whole nest of vamps…" She said.

Taking a deep breath she continued.

"This is Redd… I locked him in the meat suit so no he can't smoke out. But right now he's your best lead on how to find Crowley. A present for you." Addison said.

"You're doing the right thing… if those idjits bust open the door to monsterland, the whole world is doomed." Bobby said, trying to ease her nerves.

"It's in your hands now…" She said, taking another look to Redd before disappearing from the room.

**~(The next morning)~**

Bobby stood in the kitchen leaned up against the counter as he looked at Sam and Dean.

"So what's going on?" Sam asked.

"We were wrong… about Addison." Bobby told them with a sigh.

"What? She's in on it?" Sam asked.

"No idjit. We thought we couldn't trust her because of her relationship with Cas… but we were wrong." Bobby told them.

"We're still not even sure Cas is in with Crowley." Dean defended.

"Addison is." Bobby said.

"So you're what? Taking her word on it? I like her, I do and she has always been there. But she's emotional and if Cas and her are fighting she could just be upset." Dean offered.

"You didn't see her, Dean." Bobby said, his voice gruff.

"You're sure we can trust her with this, because if she tells Cas we're onto him… he can easily jump a few steps ahead of us." Sam said.

"Come on, I wanna show you boys something." Bobby said leading them into the living room.

"This is Redd, he's been hunting monsters for Crowley since he faked his death. Turned himself into a damn fine hunter, actually." Bobby said looking to the demon tied to the chair in the middle of the living room

Pausing Bobby finished, "Addison left him here last night, he's the best lead on Crowley we've got."

**~()~**

"Doesn't the classical music just ruin the moment, when you're torturing. Doesn't exactly set the right mood." Addison said. She'd managed to find out where he was hiding out, but instead of going back to Bobby. She'd decided to go to him by herself.

Crowley spun around a look of shock on his face.

"You look surprised to see me… which is funny because I'm not the least bit surprised to find you here." Addison said, her voice dry as she looked at him.

"What are you doing here? Cas was supposed to keep a tighter leash on you." Crowley said.

"I am not a pet, Crowley." Addison growled.

Taking off his blood stained apron, Crowley laid it down on a metal table and walked up to her.

"I should have killed you a long time ago." Addison said.

"Yes, well I'm beginning to think I shouldn't have ever pulled you from the pit. You've been nothing but a thorn in my side ever since." Crowley said.

Quickly she drew her angel blade and lunged forward, he moved just in time and she stabbed his shoulder.

Yelling in pain he threw her back against the wall, grabbing his own angel blade from his tray of torture tools and pinned her against the wall as she rose to her feet.

"Put the blade down." He growled.

"No." She hissed back at him, her eyes narrowed in hate.

"I will kill you." He warned her.

"Not if I kill you first." She yelled as she elbowed him hard in the nose.

Tables we're knocked over, glass jars busted as they fought their way around the room.

Using her powers she brought him to his knees.

"I…am stronger than you, now." He reminded her that to kill him with her powers she'd risk killing herself in the process.

"I know… not trying to kill… just bring you down." She said, her voice strained as she used her powers to keep him weakened.

Finally she released her concentration and kicked him hard in the chest sending him backwards as he landed on his back, the angel blade falling from his hand.

Before he could get back up she jumped on him, holding her angel blade up as she brought it down directly over his chest.

He quickly grabbed the blade and desperately tried to keep her from stabbing him.

Physically she wasn't as strong as him and he was able to keep her from stabbing him.

"Let… go!" She yelled as she used all of her strength to push it down harder.

"No." he yelled back groaning in pain as the blade cut deeper into his hands, it took all of his strength to keep the blade from getting stabbed through his chest.

Her arms started to shake and he managed to overpower her, as he knocked her off of him.

Addison weakly let out a pained noise as she tried to raise up, Crowley kicked her hard in the side sending her flying across the room as she slammed into the brick wall.

Rolling onto her back she held onto her side and groaned in pain as Crowley stood above her looking at her.

Her eyes went to the blood stained angel blade in his hand.

"I call uncle… I give up." She said her voice hoarse.

"I don't understand how you even thought you even stood a fighting chance against me." Crowley said, blood still running from his broken nose.

"I had to at least try." She mumbled as she stood up, her eyes focusing on an old silver fire extinguisher on the wall.

Then looking to where the other angel blade lay on the floor, Addison took a few steps towards.

"Uh-uh, you stay there." He ordered pointing the blade in his hand at her.

"Fine." She said, sounding defeated.

As he turned to get the other angel blade, she quickly pulled the heavy metal fire extinguisher from the wall, and hit him hard on the back of the head with it knocking him over.

The blade he had in his hand flew out, and he fell to the ground with a thud.

"Don't move, or I will bash your head in." She warned as she stood above him.

"What happened to uncle?" He questioned, angrily as he slowly rose up on his knees.

"I lied, you're a demon and an ass so I don't even feel bad about it" She said, snarkily as she looked to the angel blades, trying to figure out which one she could get to easier.

He glanced up at her and when he noticed she wasn't looking, he reached sideways grabbing her ankle and pulling her down to the floor.

In an instant he was standing above her with one of the angel blades in his hand.

Grabbing her by the hair he pulled her to her feet.

"Stop it!" She pleaded as she tried to grab onto his arm.

He slammed her face first into the wall, she cried out in pain as she felt bones break in her nose.

Spinning her around he pinned her with the angel blade against her throat.

"I don't feel bad about that because you tried to kill me, repeatedly. Not that I'd feel bad anyways." He yelled into her face.

"You kill me, Cas won't help you with Purgatory." Addison reminded him, her voice weak as she was drained.

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean that I can't make this all incredibly painful on you." He said, as he slowly pulled the sharp blade across her neck, applying just enough pressure to break the skin, so she'd have a reaction to the metal.

She yelled in pain and struggled to get away from him.

When he pulled the blade back, she managed to squirm out of his grip and she started to run from the room.

He quickly grabbed her from behind with an arm tight around her neck as he held her back against his stomach.

"Oh my god!" she yelled, tears burning her eyes as he slowly pierced her side with the tip of the blade.

Her skin sizzled and burned in response.

"You Nephilim, you just don't know when to give up do you?" He asked, as he slowly started to turn the blade.

"Stop it!" She screamed her voice panicked as she was in agonizing pain.

"I'm just getting started." He breathed out into her ear.

"Crowley, let her go." Castiel said as he stood in the room facing them.

Addison continued to squirm in pain as her eyes met Cas'.

"I told you to keep a leash on this one, keep her the hell out my business and away from me." Crowley reminded him, still angry that she had attacked him.

"And I told you if you hurt her, I'd kill you." Castiel said.

"She tried to kill me, and not just once." Crowley defended.

Taking a few steps forward Castiel said, "Let her go… I won't ask you again."

Crowley took his time pulling the blade from her side before he let go of her, and stood to the side.

Castiel walked up to her, "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I don't know." She lied, she knew the wound wasn't deep.

"Please, it was barely a flesh wound… nothing like what I wanted to do." Crowley said.

Ignoring Crowley, Castiel moved even closer and lifted the side of her shirt and looked at the wound.

Quickly Addison reached inside of his trench coat and stole his angel blade and turned towards Crowley.

She was within seconds of killing him when Castiel grabbed her shoulder and they appeared in her heaven.

Looking around she angrily threw the weapon down to the floor.

"No! Damn it I was so close to killing his ass." Addison grumbled.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Thank you so much for reading. I hope everyone is still liking the story. ^_^**

**Don't forget to check out my Tumblr and Polyvore accounts, the links are up on my profile.**


	59. Traces of the Past

**Part Fifty Nine.**

"_Is there no way out of the mind?" ~Sylvia Plath  
><em>

* * *

><p>"How could you do this, Cas?" Addison asked him as she faced him in the living room of her heaven.<p>

"I didn't have any other option." He defended.

"No other option than working with the King of Hell? There is always another option… I had an idea." She reminded him.

"To lie to Raphael and secretly build out defenses. We would have all been killed when we were found out." He said.

"Apparently you're an expert at deception, so I'm pretty sure we could have pulled it off." She snapped.

"Addison…" He started to say but she cut him off.

"You had absolutely no trouble lying to my face all this time." She said, hurt showing on her face.

"I hate lying to you. I wanted so badly to tell you what was going on, but I knew you wouldn't understand it." He said.

"No, I understand it perfectly. You chose a demon over me." Addison said shaking her head back and forth.

"I would never choose anybody over you." He said his eyes sincere as he looked at her.

"Did you pay attention to what happened when Sam chose Ruby over Dean? Everything goes to complete shit when we start trusting the hell spawn!" She yelled.

"I don't trust Crowley. I'm not a fool." He said.

"You can defend all you want, but no matter how you word it –it's still just another demon deal." She said as she crossed her arms over her chest, again wondering why her heaven was so cold.

"I was going to explain everything to you." He said as he started to walk towards her.

She backed away from him.

"It isn't too late. Let's go find Crowley and kill him before this all goes too far." She pleaded with him.

"I can't turn back, not now Addison… we're too close to pulling it off." He said.

"Is this about the power; because you want the power from all those fanged, clawed souls?" She asked, tears burning her eyes.

"This is about defeating Raphael." He argued.

"Because if it is just because you want power than I'll give you power, Cas, I can tear the power out of angels, then I can give it to you, just like Crowley had me do for him." She continued.

He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

"I will leave right now and tear the power out of every angel that follows Raphael." She said, franticly hoping for a way out of the deal he'd made with Crowley.

"Every time you take an angels power you risk the possibility of exploding yourself." He warned.

"It's a risk I'll take for you… don't you get it? I love you! I would do anything for you, I have tried to help you in every single way I could. I don't understand how you could so easily do this to me." She said, tears stinging her eyes.

"None of this was easy for me, I didn't like hiding things from you." He said, swallowing hard as he watched her trying so hard to not cry.

"Please don't do this… you're wrong it's not too late. If we do this together we can beat Raphael, you don't need Crowley and sure as hell don't need to crack open monsterland." She yelled, sounding frantic.

"How? How would we defeat him, Addison? You used all your power going after Crowley. Even if you were at full strength, and even with the power of heaven's weapons we still might not win." He said.

"So you're really going to do this?" She asked, shaking her head angrily.

"I have to." He said.

"I don't even know you anymore." She said, not able to stop the few tears that slide down her face.

"Yes you do. I am still me." He said walking up to her.

"No… you're in there somewhere, but this isn't you." She said as she turned and headed into her bedroom.

"What are you doing?" He questioned her.

"Trying not to self-destruct." She admitted as she pulled the small duffel bag she had already packed with clothes from the bottom of her closet.

"When this is over, you'll see I was right… that this was the only way. Raphael will be gone, and things will be like before. Just like you wanted." He said as she pulled the bag onto her shoulder.

"You're joking, right?" She asked.

"No." He said.

"You've made it really clear what's important to you. So you go and split the loot from Purgatory with Crowley. But when all the smoke clears… just ask yourself if all this was really worth it." She said.

"What are you talking about?" He asked her.

"Goodbye Cas." She said as she left her heaven.

**~(Later that day)~**

"What are you doing?" Addison asked as she looked at Sam, Dean and Bobby who had trapped Castiel in a ring of holy fire.

"What are you talking about? You know he's in on it with Crowley." Dean said looking to her.

"Yes, but I also know that trapping him in there makes him defenseless. It mutes his powers and if he touches the flames, he dies." She said, her eyes dark as she looked at him.

"We just want some answers." Bobby said.

"One drop got through from Purgatory and it was Eve… and you want to break down the entire dam?" Bobby asked, turning his attention back to Castiel and picking up where they had stopped talking.

"To get the souls… with that power I can stop Raphael." Castiel said.

"Please, you have to trust me." Castiel pleaded with them.

Addison swallowed hard and fought back her tears. Even with everything he had done, it still hurt her to see Cas' face as everyone turned on him.

"Trust you? How in the hell are we supposed to trust you?" Sam asked.

"I am still me." He defended.

Looking over to where Dean was standing beside her she said, "He tried the same line on me."

"I am still me. I am still your friend." He said, looking to everyone outside of the flames.

"Sam, I am the one who raised you from perdition." Castiel said.

"What?" Addison gasped.

"Well, uhh… no offense but you did a pretty piss-poor job of it." Sam said.

Then a thought occurred to him, "Wait, did you bring me back soulless on purpose?" Sam asked.

"How could you even think that?" Cas asked him.

"I'm thinking a lot of things right now, Cas." Sam argued.

Sighing he said, "Listen, Raphael will kill us all. He will turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice."

"No, you had a choice. You just made the wrong one." Dean said, betrayal in his eyes as he spoke.

"No, you don't understand. It's complicated." Castiel said.

"No, actually it's not and you know that. Why would you keep thing whole thing a secret unless you knew it was wrong?" Dean pointed out to him.

"When crap like this comes around, we deal with it… we always have. What we don't do is go out and make another deal with the devil." Dean argued with him.

Looking down to the floor Castiel was silent before he looked up.

"It sounds so simple when you say it like that." Cas said, the look in his face broke Addison's heart even worse.

"You should have come to us for help, Cas." Dean said, shaking his head in anger.

"Maybe." Castiel finally agreed.

A low rumbling sounded off in the distance.

Looking around Castiel said, "I can't turn back, now. I can't."

"It's not too late, Cas. We can fix this." Dean said as the rumbling got closer.

"Dean, it's not broken." Castiel said back to him.

"You are." Addison said, breaking her silence as she looked up at him across the wall of flames.

The rumbling got even closer and wind howled as it blew branches from a tree against the side of the house.

"Run, you have to run, now." Castiel said looking around.

"Run!" He yelled when no one moved.

Addison stared at him a few tears running down her cheeks as she saw a part of the old Cas, shine through.

Even though he was trapped in a ring of holy fire, rendering him defenseless he wanted everyone out of harm's way.

Addison grabbed a large rug up off the floor and threw it over the flames, allowing him to cross over the circle.

"You should go." He said, knowing Crowley was extremely angry with her for trying and almost succeeding in killing him.

"Come with me… it's not too late." She pleaded, her light green eyes were red rimmed as tears burned them.

"I can't." He said, his eyes locking with hers.

The door of the house shook as the howling wind picked up from outside the house.

Not even looking at him again she left.

**~(Later that night)~**

Addison pulled her car to a stop outside of the house she hadn't been to in years.

Taking a few deep breaths she opened her door and got out of her car as she looked up to the large white house with a 2 car garage.

She looked around to the severely over grown yard, as she slowly made her way up to the large dark blue door.

She unlocked both locks and walked inside, using her powers to make all of the lights illuminate since the house hadn't had power in years.

This was the house she had grown up in, the same house her parents had been murdered in.

Walking across the dusty hard wood floor she looked around, the last time she had thought about the house was after her parents had been murdered and she had to hire a crew to clean up the crime scene.

Her eyes scanned the room, it was the exact same as she remembered it, apart from all the dust and cobwebs.

Walking past the kitchen she took a second to look around before she headed up the stairs.

She walked past the closed door to her parent's room and the 2 guest rooms before she reached her door.

Taking a deep breath she pushed it open and looked inside.

Her walls were the same bright blue she had painted them her freshman year of high school.

Black and white photos lined the walls, along with a few of her paintings. The bookcase was still filled with books, and there were old paint stains on the white carpet under her shoes.

One her closet doors was a corkboard full of pictures of her with her old friends and concert ticket stubs, along with a few football game tickets.

Picking up a picture of herself with one of her friends that was taken right before she graduated high school she looked at her 18 year old self.

Feeling like she didn't even know the girl in the picture, she looked the same but the girl in the picture was happy and had an innocence in her eyes; she hadn't learned yet how cruel the world could really be.

She wondered what everyone in the pictures were doing now. With all of them now in their early 20's she wondered how many of them had finished college and started careers. What old friends of hers had gotten married and started a family.

Walking over to the twin bed with blue sheets she sat down, rubbed her hands over her face and through her hair.

There was no use in thinking about those people. She'd never be able to talk to them again; it would be putting them in danger. And years down the road they'd start to notice she didn't age.

"I haven't been in this house since my parents were killed." Addison said, as she noticed Castiel was standing in the room with her.

He looked around her old room.

"In fact, since the day my dad told me I need to '_Stop wasting my time with arts and crafts and go to college so I could get a real job and make something of myself.'_ I was only back to see my parents a hand full of times." She said, her voice low as she thought of what she would have done if she could go back.

He nodded, "He told you –you couldn't live here unless you went to school."

Addison looked up at him, "And I left that night. Stayed with a friend until I saved enough money to get my own little apartment and moved to Indianapolis."

Letting out the breath she had been holding she said, "It still creeps me out that you were watching me a year before I even knew who you were."

"Why did you come back here, now?" He wondered out loud.

"Sometimes I wonder what I'd be doing now if you hadn't showed up. If I hadn't gotten this stupid Nephilim gene." She finally said out loud to him.

"I think about that too." He admitted to her.

"I thought if I came back home that… I might remember who I used to be." She said as she stood up and walked back over to the cork board.

"I used to have friends, I didn't have a perfect life but I had a life before I knew angels and demons were real, and before I knew there were people who hunted monsters… back before I even knew monsters were real." She admitted to him.

He stood in silence as he watched her.

"I miss her." Addison said, as she ran her fingertips over the dusty books in the bookcase by her desk.

"You miss who?" He asked her.

"The girl that I was before all of this happened. I guess I thought if I came back here, I might find her. But she's gone, has been for quite some time." She said.

"I don't know what to say." He replied swallowing hard at seeing the sadness in her eyes.

"Every decision someone makes changes them a bit… every choice we make affects who we are and who we want to be." She said as she turned and faced him.

"I have to do this." He said, knowing she wasn't only talking about herself.

"I know why I'm here… why are you here?" She asked him.

"I need you to understand why I am doing this." He said walking up to her.

"I understand more than you think, Cas. And I know you… you're good and I'm sure at some point you truly did think this was the right thing to do. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions." She said her eyes locking with his as she spoke.

"I know what I'm doing. I can handle this, Addison." He said.

"You claim that you're doing this for all of us, for your friends. But when this whole thing goes wrong, and trust me it will go wrong… who do you think is going to have to clean up your mess? Your friends." She said.

"You act like there is no chance this will work." He said.

"This whole plan has bad idea written all over it, Cas. And you know it." She said.

"All I'm asking for is for you to believe in me." He said, his blue eyes sad as he spoke.

"No, it isn't that simple. You are asking me stand behind you while you and Crowley steal souls from Purgatory. That's a train to hell I'm not about to jump on." She said shaking her head back and forth.

"I can't stand here and keep telling you the reasons this is wrong, and I shouldn't have to. I'm asking you to not do this, because no matter how you've tried to justify all of this, deep down you know it's wrong." She said as she walked up and stood directly in front of him.

Reaching up she put a hand on the side of his face and looked at him for a few moments.

"I love you, I will always love you." She said as her eyes were still locked on him.

He though back to the first time she said it to him like that, it was after the first time they made love.

His eyes bore into hers as he replied with the same thing he told her that night, "I love you, I could never stop loving you."

Pulling his face down to hers a tear slid down her cheek and she pressed her lips to his.

Holding onto the sides of her face he deepened their kiss.

Slowly pulling back, she took a few steps back from him before she ported herself back to her car, leaving him standing in the now dark house; when she left, the power she used to generate the electricity was gone.

He looked around her old bedroom, and walked over to the window watching as she backed her car out of the driveway and drove off. As he tried not to let her words get him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. **

**How is everyone liking season 9 so far?**

**As always, I really appreciate you taking the time to show your support with a review. Thank you for reading.**


	60. Twisted Alliances

**Part Sixty.**

"_Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." ~ Dr. Seuss  
><em>

* * *

><p>The next day Addison sat at the table in Bobby's kitchen and listened to Bobby, Dean and Sam talk in the living room.<p>

Castiel had stolen a journal from them that could be useful for help in opening Purgatory, but luckily Bobby made a copy of the journals.

Their talk was interrupted when Dean got a phone call from Ben; they found out that Crowley had kidnapped both Ben and Lisa.

"What's the story?" Bobby asked when Dean got off the phone.

"Crowley said Lisa and Ben keep breathing as long as we sit on our thumbs." Dean said.

"What are we going to do?" Sam asked him.

"We can't just sit here, I'm going after them." Dean said.

"I'm going with." Sam said.

"No, Sam you and Bobby stay on the Lovecraft thing." Dean ordered his younger brother.

"You're nuts if you think I'll let you go alone, Bobby can take the case." Sam reasoned.

"No, guys…" Bobby started to say.

"It's okay. You guys save Ben and Lisa, I'll help Bobby on the H.P Lovecraft thing." Addison said, as she now stood in the doorway.

"How long have you been here?" Bobby asked her.

"A while, I've been listening from the kitchen." She admitted.

Dean nodded, "Alright, you and Bobby take the case. This is a big ball and we can't drop it now."

**~()~**

"So this guy should have information on Lovecraft's last few years?" Addison asked Bobby as they headed to the door.

"Supposed to." He said.

Once they were inside, Addison looked around at the messy room.

"You know, uhh… horror, lowbrow put us in the ghetto, fine. But H.P Lovecraft… this guy is literature. He should be taught in schools, he's up there with Dicken's and Dean R. Koontz." The man told them.

"That's definitely the angle we're looking to take our piece." Bobby said smiling.

Addison managed a smile and nodded. She and Bobby we're posing as journalists.

"Please." The man said nodding to the couch.

Once Bobby and Addison sat down, he sat down in a chair facing them.

The man started to ramble on about Lovecraft's contributions to literature.

Bobby glanced over at her, he had tried to steer the man in a different direction a few times, but was unsuccessful.

"Is it true that you've got a ton of Lovecraft's private letters?" Addison asked, leaning forward and seeming interested in the topic.

"I do… world's largest collection of them." He exclaimed proudly.

"You're a fan?" He questioned her.

"Totally…Call of Ctulhu, The Shadow Out of Time, At the Mountains of Madness…"She said, as she read the names of the posters on the wall behind him.

"That's awesome." He said scooting forward in his chair.

Addison looked to Bobby.

"Well, I'd like to ask you about Lovecraft's last years, specifically anything that might have gone down around March 10th, 1937." Bobby said.

"Okay, are you working on this with the other guy?" He asked them.

"Other man?" Bobby asked.

"You know, trench-coat… looks like Columbo, talks like rain man." He said nodding.

"Oh… no, we used to work together but he screwed up." Addison said her eyes narrowed slightly.

"Uhh…" The man said looking at her confused.

"He now works for a rival magazine, we're competitors." Bobby quickly covered as he shot her a look out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh okay, I'll tell you what I told him. Howard had a diner party on March 10th." He said.

"How many friends were at the party?" Addison asked, making herself focus on the situation at hand and not her sadness and anger at Castiel.

"Six… co-worshipers in a black magic cult. They got together that night to perform a ritual. Open a door into another dimension." He explained.

"Why would they do that?" Addison asked, her light green eyes wide.

"To see what's out there, maybe it's friendly." The man replied.

"It's never friendly." Bobby said.

He looked at them confused.

"I mean, I imagine…" Bobby tried to cover.

"Did it work?" Addison asked.

"Well, uhh there was no mention of Cthulu in the morning papers." He replied.

"So, do you have any letters over the diner? I'd love to see them." Addison said.

"I… uhh, yeah I do. Several of them actually." He said smiling as he stood up and crossed the room.

Opening the folder he kept the letters in, his smile fell.

"They were right here." He said.

"Well, it's not like an invisible guy could just pop in and steal them, right?" Bobby said as he nodded to Addison and they both stood up.

"Right…" He said with a laugh.

"We'll leave you to it and you call us if you find them." Bobby said as he followed Addison up the stair and out the door.

"You bet, thanks again for dropping by." He called after them.

"Lovecraft tried to jimmy a damn dimensional door, idjit." Bobby said looking to Addison as they walked down the sidewalk.

Looking back down to her iPad she said, "There's the 6th guest… ever since one of them either disappeared or was found dead within a year of the diner party."

After determining the maid had a nine year old son that was there, they tracked him down at a mental hospital that he had been in since the night of the party.

As they sat down and began to talk to him he said, "You sure you're not with that other reporter? The one in the coat?"

"Liar that one… not who he says." The man continued.

Addison nodded her head.

"No, sir. We're not affiliated with his paper." Bobby said.

"We just have a few questions about a diner party you were at in 1937." Bobby said,

Looking around, he said "Everyone is so fascinated; always want to know about my night in the home of the great H.P. Lovecraft."

"If you don't mind." Addison said.

"Well you know the story. They did their spell and they all said that it failed." He replied.

Looking around him and then leaning in closer he looked between Bobby and Addison, "Do you believe in monsters?"

"Yes." Addison said nodding, her eyes honest as she spoke.

"You go around saying that and they'll lock you in here for the rest of your life." He said.

"Whatever you saw, you tell us and we'll buy it straight." Bobby assured him.

"The spell worked, a door opened and something came through. It was invisible so no one knew, except me." He finally said.

"How did you know then?" Bobby asked him.

"Because it took my mother. It went into her and she wasn't the same, she even smelled different and then she disappeared." He explained.

"I'm sorry, about your mom." Bobby said, his tone honest.

"You're the first person who ever said that. Hey, you want to see a picture?" He asked.

Bobby nodded.

Pulling an aged photograph from his pocket he handed it to Bobby.

"I'll be damned." Bobby said as he looked at the picture.

Once they were outside of the hospital, Addison looked at Bobby and said, "You had quite a reaction to that picture."

"I've known her for years…" He said shaking his head.

"What is she… an old girlfriend or something?" Addison asked a she got into the passenger seat of his car.

"You ask too many questions." Bobby said as he started the car.

After they reached the house a woman answered the door.

"Bobby?" Ellie questioned.

"Ellie, it's been a while." Bobby said.

The woman looked to Addison.

"I'm Addison." She introduced herself, wondering if the woman would possibly be a monster from purgatory.

"Come in." She said to them as she stepped to the side.

"Would you two like a drink?" She questioned as she walked over to a small table with a bottle of alcohol and crystal glasses.

Bobby said yeah.

"It depends, is it strong enough to numb a broken heart?" Addison questioned.

Ellie glanced back at her.

"Might take the edge off." She said as she handed her a glass.

"Thanks." Addison said.

Sitting down with her own glass, she faced them.

"So, how did you find me?" Ellie asked them.

"Well, we weren't together long, Ellie. But I know a thing or two about you." Bobby said.

Addison looked over at him with an arched eyebrow.

"I know your safe houses and this one ain't all that safe." He continued.

"So are you two here to just chat?" She questioned.

"I know what you are, Ellie." He said as he pulled the picture he had borrowed from the man at the mental hospital.

"You're not exactly from Milwaukee, are you?" He questioned.

Addison took another drink from her glass and watched them.

"Not exactly." She said.

"What's you're game?" He asked.

"Game?" She questioned.

"Yeah, why are you here? Eve came through and raised all kinds of hell. You've been here a long time, so what's with the slow burn?" He asked.

"Well, you know were not all alike." She said

"Monsters?" Addison questioned.

"If you feel better calling me that, fine." She said glancing to Addison.

"You're from freaking purgatory. You never thought to mention that the whole time we've known each other?" He pushed.

Shaking her head she said, "I am what I am, Bobby. And I happen to be a friend." She reminded him.

"And you wanna explain that to me?" He asked.

"I didn't ask those idiots to crack the door. They opened the door and I fell through. Let me tell you both, you're lucky that it was me." She said.

"Are you saying you're on our side?" Addison asked as she finished her glass.

"I'm on my side, and I like it here. I don't wanna see this place turned into some bloody wasteland." She said.

"You killed H.P Lovecraft?" Bobby questioned.

"Please, that guy couldn't even write 'hello'. I spent 75 years trying to keep purgatory closed. Why do you think I gave Dean the sword to kill the dragons? To stop Eve, you guys were supposed to kill the damn dragons before this happened." She said.

"I'm going to be straight with you. You're in a lot of danger, any minute now you're going to have both the King of Hell and a rogue angel after you." Addison said to her.

"Thanks for the heads-up." Ellie said.

"I know him, El, he's gonna figure it out one way or another. The only way I can stop him is to get ahead of him. I need to know how you open the door, so we can do everything to keep it shut." Bobby tried to reason with her.

"No, it's too dangerous for anyone to know." She warned them.

"At least let me take you somewhere to protect you." Bobby offered.

She smiled at the caring offer, "No thanks. I have a couple of places lined up. Don't worry."

"Bobby, you're just a man. I'm better off protecting myself." She said.

"I know how to ward off angels, I can help you hide where he won't find you." Addison offered, seeing Bobby was worried about her.

"That's kind, but I'll be fine." Ellie declined the offer.

They left and headed back to his house.

They got a phone call from Sam who told them Crowley had –had Lisa possessed and she got badly injured.

Cas showed up and healed her, Dean asked him to erase him from her memory so she wouldn't be in any further danger.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Not a super eventful chapter, I know. But I hope you liked the Addison and Bobby time. ^_^**

**I know updates have been slow, and I apologize for that. I don't have much time to spend on the computer right now, but hopefully soon I will be updating like old times.**

**Hope you all are enjoying the holiday season and staying warm.**

**And a very Merry Christmas to EmilyCerise, thank you so much for all of the reviews and the countless kind words. I'm very glad and thankful to have met you. ^_^**

**XO**


	61. Deceit and Betrayal

**Part Sixty One.**

"_For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first." ~ Suzanne Collins, (__The Hunger Games) _

* * *

><p>The next day Bobby got a call from Ellie, telling her they needed to meet.<p>

"Where is she?" Dean asked as the group of 4 made their way down the street.

"Maybe try calling her again?" Addison offered.

"Yeah, already on it." Bobby said as he put his cellphone to his ear.

When Bobby called Ellie, they could hear her phone ringing nearby.

Following the sound, they found here slouched down beside a dumpster, she was bloody.

"Ell?" Bobby asked as he dropped to the ground beside her.

"Hey. I guess I could have used your help after all." She said, smiling at him through the pain she was in.

"Just be still." Bobby said.

"What happened?" Sam asked her.

"They took me… I got away." She said as she opened her coat to reveal an even more blood stained shirt.

"Oh, Ellie… what have they done to you?" Bobby asked, pain in his eyes as he looked at her.

"Everything." She said, managing a weak laugh.

"The demon I could have handled, you know? But when the angel stepped in, I… I told them Bobby." She admitted.

Addison put a hand over her stomach, feeling sick from the newly learned information.

"They've got enough to crack Purgatory wide open." She warned them all.

"Tell me, we need to know." Bobby said.

"They need virgin blood… that's a milk run for them. They need the blood of a Purgatory native, heh. They got plenty of that now…" She said looking down to her bloody self.

"Have they opened it yet?" Dean asked.

"Tomorrow, the moon and the eclipse." She said, her voice getting weaker.

"I'm sorry, Bobby." She apologized to him.

"It's okay." He tried to comfort her.

"Tell us where they are." Bobby said.

But before she could answer, she died.

"Elle?" Bobby asked, but knew she was already gone.

Reaching forward, he gently closed her eyelids before standing and looking to the others.

"I'm sorry this had to happen." Castiel said, appearing behind them.

"Crowley got carried away." Castiel said, looking down to Ellie's body.

"Yeah I'm sure it was all Crowley, does it make you feel better to blame him for your dirty work?" Addison growled through gritted teeth.

"You son of a bitch!" Bobby yelled at him.

"You don't even see it, do you? How totally off the rails you are." Dean asked him.

"Enough, I don't care what you think. I have tried to make you understand, you won't listen. So let me make this simple." Castiel said to them.

Pausing he continued, "Please go home and let me stop, Raphael. I won't ask again."

"I think you know we can't do that." Addison said looking at him, the look in her eyes showed even more devastation than before.

"I wish it hadn't come to this." He said.

Sighing he continued, "Well, rest assured when this is all over I will save Sam, but only if you stand down."

"Save Sam from what?" Dean growled.

Disappearing and then reappearing Castiel put his hand on the side of Sam's head, breaking the wall Death had put in place to hold Sam's memories of being in the cage hidden.

Almost immediately Sam had slid into unconsciousness.

**~()~**

They got him back to Bobby's and into the iron panic room.

Addison's eyes scanned the walls.

"The, uhh… the angel proofing is all wrong." Addison said.

"Can you fix it?" Dean asked, not taking his eyes of his younger brother.

"Yeah." She said as she began to fix the enochian symbols on the wall.

As she drew on the walls with white paint, she listened to Dean and Bobby argue.

Dean wanted to figure out a way to help Sam immediately, and Bobby pointed out that they were down to less than 16 hours until Purgatory was going to be opened.

Turning around Addison yelled, "Shut up!"

They both turned and looked at her surprised.

"I know that we're getting dangerously close to them busting open purgatory, and I know how bad you want to help, Sam. So do I. But this is exactly what Cas wants. For all us to fall apart, so we can't pick up the pieces in enough time to stop him and Crowley." Addison continued to yell at them.

They both stood in silence looking at her at the heaviness of the situation sunk in.

"Now the angel proofing is fixed." She said.

**~(After Balthazar had given Dean the location of where Castiel was planning on opening Purgatory)~**

As Dean talked to him Addison's phone went off.

It was her grandmother, she was so shaken up that Addison couldn't understand her.

"Let's head out." Dean said walking up to her as she slowly tucked her phone back into her pocket.

"I… uhh. That was my grandma on the phone, something happened to my parents." Addison said, her forehead lined with concern.

"I have to go see her." Addison breathed out.

"It's probably a trap." Dean said, looking at her intently.

"I know… but I have to go." She said.

Bobby looked at her.

"You guys know where they are, just stop them. And I'll try to make it back as soon as I can." She said, as she started to turn around.

Pausing she said, "I'm going to try to make it back."

"Be careful, Addy." Dean warned her.

Nodding she ported herself to her grandmothers living room.

"Addison!" Rose exclaimed as she wiped her nose with the tissue.

"Grandma, what happened?" Addison asked.

"Your mom got a phone call, it was someone claiming to work at the hospital and they said you'd been in a terrible accident." Rose said.

"I was never in the hospital." Addison said, her heart starting to race.

"We left to go to the hospital, but as soon as they got outside angels grabbed them." She said, more tears falling down her cheeks.

"Damn it." Addison breathed out.

"There's something else… but I don't want to tell you." Rose admitted.

"Tell me." Addison demanded.

"They didn't take me because they wanted me to deliver a message…" Rose said.

"Tell me!" Addison repeated.

"The angels told me to tell you if you want your parents back you need to go to your house." Rose said.

"My house?" Addison questioned confused.

"Your parents house… the one you grew up in, Addy." Rose warned, a look of helplessness laced her eyes.

"I don't want you to go, because I know it's some sort of trap." Rose said.

"Okay…you have that emergency bag packed, right?" Addison questioned, as her body shook from stress and fear.

Rose nodded, leaving the room momentarily and returning with a large suitcase.

"What's going on?"

Addison ported them both to the back-up house she had set up.

"Do not leave this house for any reason." She ordered.

"What are you going to do?" Rose asked.

"Go home."

"Oh, Addy." Rose exclaimed, tears burning her eyes.

"I'll be fine, grandma." Addison tried to assure her.

"And what if you're not?" Rose asked.

"Then… call the number I gave you for Dean Winchester." She said.

"Addison!" Rose yelled.

"I have no other choice, grandma. They are in this situation because of me, this is all my fault and I have to fix it. They aren't going to suffer for my mistakes." Addison said.

"Your mistakes?" Rose asked.

"I need to go, I love you." Addison said as she hugged her grandmother.

"Wait, why don't we call Castiel?" Rose asked.

"No." Addison said quickly.

"Even if I don't make it back, you can't call on him for any reason. He's…" her voice trailed off.

Opening her mouth she finished with the words she never thought she'd say, "We can't trust him, not anymore."

Rose looked at her confused.

"I can't explain, but you need to trust me on this." She pleaded.

"I do." Rose said nodding, but she had a million thoughts and questions running through her head.

Giving her another hug, Addison ported herself to the porch of her family's house.

Her hand shook as she turned the knob and opened the door.

"I had my doubts about you showing." Crowley said looking at her, as he moved from the arm of the couch he'd been resting against.

she looked at him confused.

"What is this? Another road block you and Cas set up?" She asked him, her light green eyes dark with rage.

"You're not that lucky." Crowley stated flatly, as he glanced over his shoulder.

"I swear if you hurt them…" She threatened, but he cut her off.

"This wasn't even my idea, Addison." He said, his dark green eyes meeting hers.

"Right, and I'm just supposed to trust you?" Addison scoffed.

"Course not… I'm a demon." He said with a smirk.

"For the record though, this really wasn't my doing." He repeated as he turned and walked through the living room towards the kitchen.

Following him she stopped in the door way when she saw her parents tied to chairs at the table, both of them had been gagged.

"Such a happy family." Raphael said, in his female vessels voice as he stood looking at some old family photos on the wall.

"Raphael…" she said, looking at him with sad eyes.

After everything that had happened with Castiel, she didn't have much fight left in her.

"But pictures can be deceiving, can't they?" He questioned glancing at her parents as he walked past them towards Addison.

"Why are you here with him, Crowley?" She asked the demon, but kept her weary gaze on the arcangel.

"Cas screwed me over… and well, karma's a bitch." He stated.

"Screwed you over?" Addison asked.

"He decided he wanted all those souls for himself." Crowley explained, a little put off by how calm she seemed.

"Shame, but hey don't feel bad… Cas has been doing a lot of backstabbing lately." Addison remarked coldly with an arched eyebrow.

"If anyone is going to take in that much power, it's me." Raphael said.

"Come on. Raphael you kidnapped my parents… what's this about?" She asked, knowing she might be seconds away from death.

"You did destroy my vessel." He reminded her.

"I preferred my former vessel over this." He continued.

"I like this one better, you seem more personable as a woman." Addison remarked.

"This is funny to you?" He asked her walking closer.

"No… I'm being completely serious." She said honestly.

"You have some nerve for being the insignificant ant that you are." Raphael said.

"I'd like to think of myself as a butterfly instead an ant." She said.

Crowley looked over at her, still shocked she wasn't panicking.

"You could still be useful." Raphael said.

"Alright, so what's the deal? You're going to release my parents if I agree to work with you?" She asked.

"It's far more generous on my part than you deserve." He said.

Looking to her parents she saw the look of terror in their eyes.

"No." Addison said.

"Don't be stupid." Raphael warned.

"I want to talk to them for a moment." Addison said.

Raphael nodded.

Crossing the kitchen she removed their gags.

"I wish you hadn't showed." Grant admitted worried about his daughter.

All her mom could do was start to cry for everything that was happening to Addison.

"Do you both still want to go to your heaven?" She questioned.

"What?" Julia asked surprised at her.

"When this was all supposed to be over, were you guys going to say you wanted to go back to your heaven?" Addison asked them again.

"Yes, but what does this have to do with anything?" Grant asked her.

"I love you both, so much." Addison told them.

"What are you doing?" her dad yelled, as she turned and walked over to Raphael.

"You return my parents to their heaven, wipe their memories of the whole time they were resurrected and you've got yourself a deal." Addison said as she wiped some tears from her cheeks.

Waving his hand out to the side, her parents disappeared from the room.

"You try anything and I will bring them back and things will be painful for all of you." Raphael warned.

Addison nodded.

She had recently found her parent's heaven and angel proofed it so that no angel could ever get to them again, they would now spend eternity knowing nothing but peace and pure happiness.

"Splendid… Let's go see Cas then." Crowley said looking around the room.

Crowley went in moments before them, then Raphael pulled Addison into the room with him.

They saw Castiel try to kill Crowley, but it didn't work.

Looking down to his hand Castiel said, "I don't understand."

"Palm me all you want, I'm safe and sound under the wing of my new partner." Crowley said nodding to Raphael.

Addison swallowed hard as her eyes locked with Castiel's.

"Hello Castiel." Raphael said.

A look of worry spread over his face. "Raphael…" Castiel said.

"Consorting with demons? I thought that was beneath you." Castiel said.

"Heard you were doing it, sounded like fun." Raphael smugly replied.

Looking to Castiel Crowley said. "You know, Castiel? You've said all sorts of shameful, appalling, scatological things about Raphael. I found him… her, to be really quite reasonable." Crowley said, glancing back to Raphael who was in his female vessel.

"You fool, Raphael will deceive and destroy you at the speed of thought." Castiel warned Crowley, his blue eyes traveling back to where Addison was standing next to Raphael.

"Right, because you're such a straight shooter…" Crowley said, then pausing he said.

"Even your girlfriend is with me on that one." He added with a smirk.

"Raphael has offered me protection against all comers." Crowley told Castiel.

"In exchange for what?" Castiel asked him.

"The purgatory blood." Crowley admitted.

"Castiel, you really think I would let you open that door? Take in that much power? If anyone is going to be the new God, it's me." He said.

"The female vessel really does suit you better… you've got female mannerisms." Addison said looking to Raphael.

"What are you talking about?" He asked her, as he looked over to where she was standing.

"You we're bobbing your head with attitude when you spoke." Addison stated flatly a flare of anger in her eyes.

Sighing heavily, Raphael held his hand up palm towards Addison.

Immediately Addison crumpled to the floor, making pained noises as she coughed up blood.

"Stop it." Castiel said gruffly.

"I can do as I please, she works for me now." Raphael said to him.

Addison stood back up and wiped the blood from her chin, glaring at Raphael.

"He is going to bring the apocalypse, and worse." Castiel reminded Crowley.

"This is your doing, mate. I'm merely grabbing the best offer off the table. Now, you have two options: flee or die." Crowley responded, repeating Castiel's own words back to him.

"Addison comes with me, and you can have the blood." Castiel said, looking to Raphael.

"I don't think so." Raphael responded nonchalantly.

"She is coming with me." Castiel said, his voice a little louder and more gruff than before.

"No, I'm not." Addison said.

"What?" He asked looking at her, a look of betrayal on his face.

"I'd rather stay here with them." She answered.

"Why?" He asked her a look of confusion spreading over his face.

"Because at least they both know they're dicks. And I made a deal with Raphael for my family, a little too late to back out now." She replied, trying not to let the pained look in his eyes affect her.

Taking another look at them, he tossed the jar of blood to Crowley and disappeared from the room.

Looking around Raphael said, "Let's get started."

Crowley picked up the paper and the blood, Addison watched as he began to paint the symbol on the wall.

"I'm surprised you didn't fight to go with Castiel." Raphael said looking at Addison.

"I'm fighting for your team now." She answered her eyes honest as she spoke.

"Is that so?" He asked.

"Yes, if anybody is going to take in all of these fanged, clawed souls… I truly hope it's you." Addison said, her light green eyes sincere.

Crowley stopped drawing on the wall with the blood and turned to face them.

"Why the change of heart, Addison?" Raphael questioned.

"Because I hope when you take in all of those souls, that the power is too much and you explode. I don't even care if I'm standing here when it happens and I get killed too. I just want your ass dead." She said, her jaw tensed in anger as she spoke.

"Careful, I can easily retrieve your parents… I'll make sure they never know true peace again." Raphael warned her.

Crowley looked back and forth between the two of them.

"I angel proofed their haven." Addison admitted smugly.

"You never know when to stop. I'm beginning to think you really do have a death wish." Crowley said looking at Addison.

Again Raphael brought her to the floor, writhing in pain as she coughed up more blood.

Crowley looked at her for a few moments before he turned around un-phased, and continued drawing the sigil they needed.

Addison stood to the side as Crowley began reading the Latin incantation to open the door to Purgatory.

She had her eyes narrowed with hate at Raphael.

She was dizzy and weak but she was forcing herself to stay awake.

The longer she stood there, the longer she wondered where Cas was and what he was doing now.

Deciding Raphael and Crowley were too distracted to notice, she ported to Castiel.

Appearing in the room right beside him she was immediately hit with a powerful, intense burning sensation in her chest.

She couldn't breathe and wasn't able to move.

Once all the souls had been swallowed up and the portal closed, Castiel took a deep breath feeling all the power surging through him.

Addison looked around the room, the pain was gone now she felt like she had ripped the power out of 100 angels. She had never felt so strong or powerful.

Looking over at Castiel, the light green in her eyes was glowing.

"What… what happened?" She asked, growing worried.

Looking around the room again he realized she had been there for a little while, "You stood to close, and absorbed some of the souls."

Her light green eyes widened.

"I have purgatory souls inside of me?" She gasped, as her head started to spin.

He nodded, "Can't you feel them?"

"Oh my god… no, no… I don't want this. I never wanted any of this." She said, feeling panicked.

"I didn't want you to have any of them either. I needed this power, not you." He said, his tone dry and eyes almost emotionless as he looked at her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- I'm so sorry that it's been so long since my last update!**

**I really hope you all are still reading and enjoying the story.**

**I appreciate your patience and support!**

**XO**


	62. Greed

**Part Sixty Two. **

_Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction. ~Erich Fromm  
><em>

* * *

><p>"That's what you're mad about? The fact that I got some of this power?" She asked, her eyes wide.<p>

He nodded.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked, her eyes narrowed.

He didn't respond as he disappeared from the room.

Following him she was back in the room she had fled from Raphael and Crowley only moments earlier.

"Maybe I said it wrong." Crowley said, confused as to why the spell hadn't worked.

"You said it perfectly, but what you needed was this." Castiel said as he sat down his empty jar of blood on the metal table with a clank.

Addison watched Dean and Bobby stood up, she wondered when they had gotten there.

"I see, and we've been working with… dog blood. Naturally." Crowley said as he swiped a finger through the blood on the wall and tasted it.

"Enough of these games, Castiel. Give us the blood." Raphael demanded.

With a sigh and a look of irritation Crowley said, "Games over. His jar is empty."

"So Castiel, how did your ritual go? Better than ours I'd bet." Crowley said.

Addison's breathing was labored as she looked around the room, she didn't want any of the souls from Purgatory.

And she hadn't wanted Cas to go through with the ritual either.

Closing his eyes and looking down for a minute, Castiel summoned the strength of the souls and emitted a blinding white light that filled the entire room.

"You can't imagine what it's like. They're all inside me, millions upon millions of souls." Castiel said.

Addison watched him, observing how he even talked and moved different than he had before getting the souls.

"Sounds sexy. Exit stage, Crowley." He said as he fled from the room.

Seeing that Raphael was trying to flee too, Castiel asked "What's wrong, Raphael? Somebody clip your wings?"

"Castiel, please. You let the demon go… but now your own brother?" Raphael asked, worry showing on his vessels face.

"The demon I have plans for. You on the other hand…" Castiel's voice trailed off and he snapped his fingers.

Raphael exploded covering the room in a fine mist of blood.

Looking around Castiel said, "So you see, I saved you."

"You sure did, Cas. Thank you." Dean said, looking to Addison.

"You doubted me, fought against me… but I was right all along." Castiel said.

"Okay, Cas. You were right. We're sorry." Dean said.

"Now lets just defuse you, okay?" Dean said to him.

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked him.

There was an eerie calmness in his voice and actions. He knew with all of the souls, he was untouchable.

"You're full of nuke. It's not safe, so before the eclipse ends. Let's get those souls back to where they belong." Dean explained.

"Yeah… we need to put them back." Addison agreed nodding.

"They belong with me." Castiel said.

"No, Cas. It's scrambling your brain." Dean pointed out, hoping to talk some reason into him.

"Oh I'm not finished yet. Raphael had many followers and I must punish them all severely." He said.

"Listen to me…. listen. I know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge. But we were family once. I'd have died for you, almost did a few times…" his voice trailed off as he saw Castiel wasn't buying into it.

"If that doesn't mean anything, anymore… fine. But what about Addison, she has done nothing but be there for you. Look at what all of this has done to her, Cas. You don't need this kind of juice, anymore. If she means anything to you, then get rid of it before it kills us all." Dean said trying to play on Castiel's love for her.

Castiel looked over to Addison and back to Dean, "You're just saying that because I won. You're saying it because you're afraid, you're not my family Dean… I have no family."

Addison's eyes widened in horror as she looked over just in time to see Sam stab Castiel in the back with an angel blade.

Letting out a huge sigh of relief when she saw that it didn't affect him.

Sam stumbled backwards.

Addison walked over and pulled the blade from his back, dropping it on the table with a loud clank as she shot Sam an angry look.

Looking down to where Addison had dropped the angel blade, Castiel said "I'm glad you made it Sam. But the angel blade won't work, because I'm not an angel anymore."

"I'm your new god, a better one. So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your lord or I shall destroy you." Castiel said to them, his face and tone serious.

"Well, alright then. Is this good, or you want the whole forehead to the carpet thing?" Bobby asked as he got down on his knees.

"Guys." Bobby said nodding for them to bow too.

Addison watched as they got down on their knees.

"Addison…" Bobby said, his voice low.

She raised her eyebrows at him and stubbornly shook her head back and forth.

"Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me, not love, not respect. Just fear." Castiel said.

"Well geez, I wonder why? It's not like you just freaking blew an archangel to bits in front of us." Addison snapped, her arms crossed over her chest.

Everyone got back on their feet, Bobby looked over at her wide eyed.

Looking over at her Castiel said, "Watch your tone, Addison. I no longer care about you."

She arched an eyebrow.

"Okay… there's an angel blade, go ahead take your shot." She said, as she stood still and spread her arms out to the side.

He looked at her a look of curiosity on his face with how she was acting.

"Or you know, if you think the walls need some more color you can snap your fingers and make me explode too." She continued.

The room was silent, everyone had their eyes on Castiel wondering if he'd really kill her.

"Cas…" Sam started to say, breaking the silence.

"Sam, you have nothing to say to me. you stabbed me in the back." Castiel said to him.

Sam swallowed hard and looked over to his brother.

"Cas, come on. This is not you." Dean argued.

"The Castiel you knew is gone." Castiel said.

Taking Addison's approach Dean said, "So what then? Kill us?"

"What a brave little ant you are. You know you're powerless; you wouldn't dare move against me. That would be pointless. So I have no need to kill you, not now." He responded.

Dean's eyes widened.

"Besides once, you were my favorite pets, before you turned and bit me." He said with an eerie smile as his eyes scanned the room.

"Who are you?" Dean asked, knowing nothing he was saying sounded like Cas.

"I'm God. And if you stay in your place, you may live in my kingdom. If you rise up, I will strike you down." Castiel said, his voice full of authority.

Seeing Sam swaying from the corner of his eye, Cas said "Not doing so well, are you, Sam?'"

"I'm fine…" Sam said.

"You said you would fix him… you promised." Dean tried to remind his old friend.

"If you stood down, which you hardly did." Castiel said, his voiced raised as he looked at dean.

Turning his attention back to Sam he said "Be thankful for my mercy, I could have cast you down in the pit."

Looking around Castiel said, "I hope for your sake, this is the last you see of me."

Once he was gone they all stared around the room in a shared state of shock.

"Sam!" Dean yelled as his younger brother fell to the floor and cut his pam on some broken glass.

After getting Sam back to Bobby's house, Addison walked in the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

"How you holding up?" Bobby asked as he walked in the kitchen with her.

"Is that a trick question, Bobby?" Addison asked.

He got himself a beer from the refrigerator and looked at her.

She hadn't told anyone that she had absorbed some of the Purgatory souls, she didn't even want to face it herself.

"I can't just stand here." She said.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked.

"Go after, Cas." She said.

"That's not even Cas anymore." Bobby warned.

"He is still in there, I know it Bobby." Addison said, her light green eyes intense as she looked at him.

"You sure? Or is that you just want him to still be in there that you're causing yourself to believe it?" He asked.

"He is in there." Addison said, her tone dry.

**~()~  
><strong>Addison stood behind Castiel as he stood at the back of a church.

She looked around wondering what Cas was doing in a church, then she turned her attention to the preacher.

"Plenty speak for them and their so-called lifestyle. Media, Hollywood. Lady Gaga won't shut up for love or money." The preacher said.

The congregation laughed.

"Yeah, funny. But that's why we raise our voices. We picket their so called weddings and their funerals. Someone has to speak for God." The preacher continued.

"And who says you speak for God?" Castiel asked, finally making his presence known.

Addison looked up wide eyed as the whole congregation turned and looked at them.

"You're wrong. I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. On the other hand, I cannot abide hypocrites like you, reverend." Castiel said as he started up the aisle.

Addison looked around and slowly followed him.

"Okay, fun is over friend." The preacher said.

"Tell your flock where your genitals have been before you speak for me." Castiel said to him.

"And who the heck are you?" The reverend asked.

"I'm God." Castiel said.

"And he who lies in my name, shall choke on his own false tongue. And his poisonous words shall betray him." Castiel said as the preacher started to choke to death, before falling over dead.

"For I am the lord, your God." He said as he turned to face the congregation.

His gaze stopped on Addison.

Ignoring her he walked past her on his way out of the church.

Everyone turned and looked to Addison, waiting to see if she was going to do something.

"What? Your reverend was teaching nothing but hate." Addison said as she started to leave.

Halfway down the aisle, Cas stopped and grabbed onto the back of a pew, swaying a little.

"What's wrong?" Addison asked as she rushed to his side.

"Nothing." Castiel said as he quickly regained his composure and left.

The next few weeks Addison tailed Castiel as he went all over the world, healing some people and killing others.

She kept trying to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen to her.

**~()~**

"So, he has been here yet?" Addison asked as she picked up a bottle of alcohol and read the label before pouring some in a glass and taking a drink.

She looked to Crowley who was sitting in a chair in the small R.V he'd been hiding out in.

"How did you find me?" He questioned, taking a drink from his own glass.

"You angel proofed this place. I'm not an angel you sulfur scented dick." Addison retorted taking another drink.

He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Come here to kill me?" He asked.

"Has he been here yet?" Addison asked him again.

"Who?" Crowley questioned.

"Castiel." Addison said.

"No, and if you leave I might be able to keep it that way." Crowley said.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to wait here with you until he shows up." Addison said as she took another drink.

"What makes you so sure he'll show up?" Crowley asked her.

"After you fled like the coward you are, Cas said he had plans for you." Addison admitted.

"And did he mention what these plans entail?" Crowley questioned, as he finished off the last of his drink.

"Nope." Addison said with a smirk.

It wasn't much later that Castiel showed up, "Hello Crowley." He greeted.

"Bollocks." Crowley exclaimed.

"So the jig is up, you found me. Or you followed her here." Crowley said as he stood and faced Cas.

"I never lost you." Castiel explained.

Looking around the inside of the rundown R.V, Castiel said "These scratches, they're all useless."

"Still, can't blame a girl for trying." Crowley said.

"Fancy a drink before you smite me?" Crowley asked.

"No." Castiel said.

"Cas, we need to talk." Addison said stepped forward beside Crowley.

"What are you doing here?" Castiel asked her.

"Well clearly I'm not here to visit Crowley." Addison remarked.

"I'm hurt." Crowley said looking over at her.

"I was waiting on you." She said.

"And I've told you countless times to stop following me." He said, his gaze harsh.

"I was here first technically you followed me." She pointed out.

"Please." She said, her light green eyes pleaded with him.

"I have plans for you Crowley. I let you live, you return to your post as King of Hell. But I choose where each soul goes. I control the flow and you take whatever I give you." Castiel said to him, ignoring Addison.

Letting out a small laugh Crowley turned and walked back to where he had several bottles of alcohol on the small countertop.

"I take it you intend to keep the lion's share then? So what you're saying I that hell is being downsized?" He questioned.

"I would have done away with completely, but I need a threat to hold over my enemies and we must keep Michael in Lucifer's cage." Castiel explained.

"Right, I gather this is not a negotiation?" Crowley asked.

"No." Castiel said.

"Then I graciously accept, boss." Crowley said.

Looking over her shoulder at him Addison said, "You're such a coward."

"It's called self-preservation and it would do you good to learn some of it." Crowley told her.


	63. Cease to Exsist

**Part Sixty Three.**

"_If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger." ~Emily Brontë (__Wuthering Heights)__  
><em>

* * *

><p>"What do you want?" Castiel questioned as he stood and faced Addison in her heaven.<p>

"I want to talk." Addison said, her eyes sad as she looked at him.

"I have nothing to say to you." He said.

"Fine, then don't talk… just listen." Addison said.

Castiel gave her an irritated look.

"I am not what you want anymore, Addison. The Castiel you knew is gone." He said.

"That's a lie." She growled.

"I don't know how I can make this any clearer to you." He said, looking around the living room of her heaven.

"It doesn't matter how you word it, or how far gone you feel from your old self… you are still in there I know it." She said.

She shook her head back and forth, a seemingly un-phased look on his face.

"We are mates, this is forever and it doesn't matter how many souls you swallowed up or what kind of god-complex you have going on. We are still mates and I love you, and I know somewhere buried underneath every evil soul you took in, you still love me too." She said confidently.

He looked at her for a few minutes before he said, "I'm not an angel anymore, I don't have a mate and I don't love you."

She arched an eyebrow and tried to pretend like her heart didn't feel like it was shattering even worse than before.

"We are still mates, and you do love me." She argued.

His blue eyes locked with hers and an almost amused expression spread over his face.

"Addison, you're becoming a nuisance…" He started to say but stopped when she reached down and grabbed his hand.

"Feel that? You have the same feeling as before when you were an angel, because we are still mates." She said, her light green eyes locking with his.

He looked down to their joined hands, surprised at how intense the connection still was.

Pulling her hand back she said, "See?"

He stared at her for a few more minutes before he disappeared from her heaven.

**~(A few days later)~**

Addison ported to Castiel, he was standing on a city sidewalk.

She looked down to see a blind man sitting on the ground against a building asking for people to spare some change.

"You are a true believer. People say I'm wrathful, but I only punish liars and those who forsake me. I am a just god." Castiel said to him.

"Excuse me?" The man asked confused.

Reaching forward he placed two fingers on the man's head, within moments his eyesight was restored.

"Oh my god, I can see." The man said smiling.

Looking up he asked, "What's wrong with your face?"

Addison looked at Castiel and saw his face had red marks and looked like his skin was starting to melt.

"Cas…" Addison said her eyes wide with fear.

He barely glanced over at her before he walked into the nearest building and into the men's restroom.

Not even pausing at the door Addison walked right in behind him.

"You're vessel is melting Cas, you have too much power inside of you. You're going to explode." Addison said as she stood beside him and he looked in the mirror.

"That won't happen to me." He stated.

"I've seen this before… when Lucifer was in his vessel before he took Sam, this was happening to him." She said, as she put her hand on his arm and looked at him with wide, concerned eyes.

Making a slightly pained noise he leaned forward.

"Cas?" Addison asked.

Pulling open his shirt he looked in the mirror as it looked like hands were trying to claw their way out of his stomach.

Putting a hand over her mouth she gasped and watched in horror.

"What the hell is that?" She finally managed to say feeling sick at her stomach.

"No." He said into the mirror as he buttoned his shirt back up.

"Cas… we have to get those things out of you." Addison begged.

"Give it up." He said.

Shaking her head back and forth she bravely said, "I will never give up on you, Cas. Don't you remember? I love you, I will always love you."

Standing only inches in front of her, he said "Addison, leave it alone and stop following me. I won't ask you again."

Before she could say anything he disappeared.

**~()~**

Dean had been calling to her for days, but she had been so busy following Castiel around that she had been ignoring him.

Porting herself to him she looked around the room wide-eyed.

There was a couple tired to a chair. Sam, Dean and Bobby, along with Death and Castiel.

"I didn't want to kill you, but now… you've erased any nostalgia I had for you." Castiel began to say to Dean.

"You can't kill us. Death is our bitch; we ain't gonna die even if god pulls the trigger." Dean said.

Addison looked at him wide eyed.

"Annoying little protozoa, aren't they?" Death said, looking to Castiel.

"God? No, you look like a mutated angel to me. Your vessel is melting, you're going to explode." Death said, seeing the condition Castiel was in.

"No, I'm not." Castiel said stubbornly.

"When I've finished my work, I'll repair myself." He said.

"You think you can, becaue you think you're simply under the weight of those souls." Death said.

"There's something else?" Addison asked looking to Death.

"The souls aren't the worst problem. There are things much older than souls in purgatory, and you gulped those into." Death explained.

"Irrelevant, I control them." Castiel said.

"For the moment." Death warned.

"Wait, what else did he swallow up with those souls?" Addison asked, her light green eyes wide as she looked to the horseman.

"Long before God created angel or man, he made the first beasts. The leviathans. I personally found them entertaining, but he was concerned they'd chomp the entire petri dish. So he locked them away. " Death went onto explain.

Turning his attention back to Castiel he said, "Why do you think he created purgatory? To keep those clever poisonous things out. Now Castiel has swallowed them. He's the one thin membrane between the old ones and your home."

"Enough." Castiel demanded his silence.

"Stupid little soldier you are." Death insulted him.

"Why? Because I dared open a door that he shut? Where is he? I've done a service taking his place." Castiel said as he crossed the room and stood in front of Death.

"Service? Settling petty vendettas?" Death asked.

"No, I'm cleaning up one mess after another, selflessly." Castiel said.

"Quite the humanitarian." Death retorted.

"And how would you know? What are you, really? A flyswatter." Castiel asked taking a step towards Death.

Standing his ground Death said, "Destined to swat you, I think."

"Unless I take you first." Castiel threatened.

Addison's eyes were wide as she looked between the two of them.

"Alright, put your junk away. Both of you. Call him what you want, jut kill him now." Dean yelled.

Addison closed her eyes and took in a deep shuddering breath.

Being enslaved to them, Death said "Alright fine." as he raised his hand in the air.

Snapping his fingers Castiel broke the power they had over Death.

"Thank you." Death said, lowering his hands.

Death walked over to the chair next to the end table where Dean had set a bag of food for him down.

After a talk with Death, he told them that he'd make another eclipse and their only shot was to get Castiel back to the lab and return all of the souls to purgatory.

**~()~**

Addison sat on the couch in her living room in her heaven with her large comforter from the bed wrapped around her.

She was trying so hard not to let everything that was happening sink in, because she was afraid it was more than she could take.

Shivering she pulled the blanket tighter around her, there was a coldness that had started in her apartment a while ago, but now it seemed like the coldness was inside of her too.

"Addison…" Castiel said.

Looking up she saw him leaned up against the wall, he was covered in blood and barely seemed able to stand on his own.

"I need help." He said, as he looked at her.

Standing up she walked over to him.

"It's okay, come on." She said, her voice soft as she helped him over to her couch.

Sitting down he leaned back and closed his eyes letting out a heavy breath.

"Are you ready to put those things back in Purgatory?" She asked as she looked at him, seeing the damage to his vessel had only gotten worse.

"I should have never opened the door." Castiel said, looking over to her.

Biting down on her bottom lip and trying to hold back her tears she nodded.

"I'm sorry… for everything." He said, his blue eyes sad as he continued to look at her.

A few tears slid down her cheeks.

"I know." She said nodding.

"I lied when I said I didn't care about you anymore." He admitted.

She nodded as more tears fell down her cheeks.

"I love you, I could never stop loving you." He said.

Closing her eyes she took in a few deep breaths.

"We've got to fix this, before it gets any worse." She managed to say her voice hoarse.

"I'm sorry." He repeated.

"We need to go see Sam and Dean." She said as she grabbed his hand and held it in hers, looking at the skin on the back of his hand. It was just as damaged as his face.

"I'm ready." He told her.

Helping him stand up she ported them to Bobby's house.

"Oh my god!" Sam exclaimed as he looked up to them.

"He's ready to fix this." Addison said, as tears still ran down her cheeks.

They all packed up and headed to the lab.

Once they were at the lab, Addison helped Castiel sit down on the floor as he leaned back against a metal cart.

Sitting down beside him she took his hand back in hers and wiped her cheeks with the other hand.

"Sam, we need the right blood. There's a small jar in the supply closet at the end of the hall." He said.

"Got it." Sam said as he stood up and headed down the hallway.

"Dean, I feel regret about you and what I did to Sam." Castiel said looking up to where Dean was standing.

"Yeah, well you should." Dean said as he started to move things around in the room.

"I just wanted to make amends before I die." Castiel said.

Addison's grip tightened on his hand.

"Okay." Dean said.

"Is it working?" Castiel asked.

"Does it make you feel better?" Dean questioned.

"No. You?" Castiel responded.

"Not a bit." Dean said.

Castiel nodded and looked down.

"Addison, I can't tell you how sorry I am." Castiel said, looking down to their hands and then to her tear stained face.

"It's okay." Addison said, trying to make him feel better.

"No it isn't." He said.

Reaching up with her other hand she held onto the side of his face.

"You're here sacrificing everything to try and fix this…" She told him.

He was silent for a few moments before he said, "I'm glad all the Leviathan are in me, and not you."

She was silent as she continued to sit with him.

"Hang in there, just a little while longer." Bobby said as he put a hand on Cas' shoulder and walked past them.

Dean went to check on Sam when he didn't return with the blood.

Bobby watched as Dean drew the symbol on the wall.

"Alright, it's good enough." He said as he put his watch back in his pocket.

"I love you." Addison whispered as she leaned in and pressed her lips to him as more tears slid down her face.

Breaking the kiss she rested her forehead against his.

"I love you too." He responded.

"It's go time." Bobby said to them.

Addison nodded as she stood up and hen helped Bobby pull him to his feet.

They got him situated in front of the sigil on the wall.

Addison didn't want to leave his side but, Bobby pulled her back to where he and Dean were standing.

Her whole body shook from crying as she stood by Bobby and he read from the paper to open purgatory.

Addison watched as the wall started to break apart and a light showed through, wind started to blow through the room and Castiel looked over his shoulder at them.

"I'm sorry." He apologized again before the portal was opened and a bright light emitted from his chest as he returned the souls to purgatory.

The wind and light stopped and he collapsed on the ground.

"Cas!" Dean yelled as he ran over to him.

Addison slowly walked over to them, tears still pouring down her face.

Dropping to the knees she looked down at his lifeless body.

Reaching a hand out Bobby felt the side of his neck.

"He's cold." Bobby said.

"Is he breathing?" Dean asked.

"No…" Addison managed to squeak out at them.

"Maybe angels don't need to breathe." Dean offered as he looked over at her.

"He's gone, Dean." Bobby said.

"Damn it." Dean breathed out, upset at losing his friend.

"Cas, you child… why didn't you listen to me." Dean said, as he and Bobby stood up.

Addison continued to kneel beside his body and stare at him.

Right before her eyes, his vessel repaired itself and he took a deep breath.

"Cas!" Addison yelled as she leaned over him.

He blinked his eyes a few times and gave her a slightly confused look.

"Addison…" He said.

"Oh my god…" She breathed out as she leaned down and kissed him. Not caring if Bobby and Dean were watching.

They helped him up to his feet.

"That was unpleasant." He said looking at them.

"Not just for you." She said, as she stepped forward and hugged him.

Wrapping his arms around her he said, "I'm alive, I'm astonished."

"Thank you… all of you." Castiel said.

"We were mostly just trying to save the world." Bobby said to him.

"I'm ashamed, I really over reached." He said, keeping his arms tight around Addison as he looked down at her.

"You think?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you." He said, looking to Dean.

"One thing at a time, come on. Let's find Sam and get you out of here." Dean said.

Finally Addison let go of him and stepped back, they all started to make their way out of the room.

Cas stopped walking and Addison looked at him.

Immediately panicked by the look on his face.

"Cas…" She said.

"You need to run now!" He yelled.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I can't hold them back…"Castiel warned.

"They're so strong…" He said as he doubled over and his face turned red.

"No… no, you put everything back in." Addison said.

"They held on inside of me." Cas said.

"Run, Addison." He said, his eyes locking with hers.

"I'm not leaving you." She said.

"Who the hell are you talking about?" Bobby asked.

"Leviathan." Castiel said, his voice strained as he fought for control of his vessel.

"I can't fight them!" He yelled as his head started to thrash from side to side.

"No…" Addison said, tears started to pour from her eyes again.

"Run!" Cas yelled.

"Go find Sam." Dean said to Bobby.

"Addy, we gotta go." Dean said grabbing her arm.

She quickly shook her arm away.

"You go, I'm staying." She said, looking back to Cas with a look of terror on her face as his body started to twitch and thrash.

"Too late." He said, in a voice that barely sounded like his own as he stopped thrashing.

"Cas?" Addison asked.

Grabbing her by the sides of her open jacket he pulled her closer to him as he smiled sinisterly.

"Cas is… hmm, he's gone…he's dead." The leviathan said with a happy and amused look on his face.

Addison's breath stopped in her throat as she stared at him wide eyed.

"We run the show now." He said, smiling at her again before he effortlessly picked her up and threw her across the room.

With a yelp of pain she hit the hard brick wall, before landing with a thud on the floor.

Looking up she saw him throw Dean into a table and then throw Bobby across the room.

Addison quickly jumped back on her feet.

"What are you doing?" dean asked looking at her.

"I don't know." She admitted.

Looking at them all he smiled and tilted his head to the side, black lines started to run from his neck and grew up the side of his face.

With an evil laugh he said, "Now, this is going to be so much fun."

Addison stood still as she watched the black lines grow on his face until they disappeared and he looked down at his hand.

"How many of you ass clowns are in there? A hundred? More?" Dean asked.

Addison watched as black liquid started to seep from Castiel's arms and hands and puddle on the floor.

Taking a few steps forwards she said, "Your vessel, it's going to explode."

Dean looked back at her and the to the leviathan and said, "Wouldn't do anything to strenuous; in fact, I'd call it a day… head on home, huh?"

"We'll be back for you…" The leviathans said as more black liquid poured from his hairline.

It looked like when Eve had ingested the phoenix ash.

Turning, he slowly walked from the room.

Addison stayed a few steps back but followed him, ignoring Dean and Bobby as they yelled after her.

She watched as he continued to stumble and was barely able to walk.

By the time he reached the city water supply, he was covered in the black liquid.

She stood by the water edge and watched as he walked out, until he completely disappeared under the water.

Bobby, Sam and Dean ran up to her and watched as the water started to swirl and turn black.

"Oh hell." Bobby breathed out as he saw the public water supply sign.

"Damn it." Dean muttered.

"You said it." Bobby replied looking over to him.

Addison stood in silence staring down at the edge of the water.

"Addy?" Dean asked.

She didn't respond just kept staring down to the water's edge directly in front of her.

Walking closer Dean looked down and saw what she was staring at; Castiel's trench-coat.

Dean slowly crouched down and pulled the coat from the water.

He looked to Addison his eyes locking with hers before she looked back down to the coat in his hand.

"Addison…" Dean started to say.

But she shook her head side to side and took a few steps back, before looking up at Bobby and Sam with wide, teary eyes.

Dean opened his mouth to say something else, but Addison ported away from them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN- Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate it so much and it's been so great sharing my work with you ^_^**


	64. and all I Loved, I Loved Alone

**Part Sixty Four. **

"_From childhood's hour I have not been as others were. I have not seen as others saw. I could not awaken my heart to joy at the same tone. And all I loved, I loved alone." ~Edgar Allan Poe__  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN- Please read the authors note at the end of the chapter when you're done reading. XO -Sage**_

* * *

><p>Addison stood in the living room of her heaven; she blinked her teary eyes and looked around, her eyes stopping on the large floor to ceiling windows.<p>

It was pouring rain outside; the rain was coming down so hard she couldn't even see the skyline view.

Her heaven had been feeling cold since she started to feel Castiel pulling away from her, but now her heaven was so cold she could see her breath.

Nothing had ever changed so drastically in her heaven before, it was always night outside and always a crystal clear.

Since she wasn't human anymore, but still had an intact soul certain things fluctuated in her heaven by how she felt.

Sitting down on her couch she wrapped her blanket around her and finally let all of the tears go that she had been holding back.

The worst possible thing that could happen to her had come true; Castiel was dead. She thought back to when he had explained that with them being mates, if one died the other probably wouldn't be able to go on.

Laying down on her side she wondered if she'd die and how it would happen. She had always believed that it was possible to die from heartache, and she wondered if she'd just slip away into death from being so heartbroken.

**~(2 weeks later)~**

Addison laid the hairdryer down on the edge of the sink in her bathroom.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror, she had honestly expected to drift away into death but it didn't happen.

Not being human she didn't need to eat or sleep, so the days just blended into the nights and it was all one long painful nightmare for her.

She had changed into a pair of red denim shorts and an off the shoulders white shirt.

Appearing in her grandmother's living room she walked into the kitchen where she saw her grandmother Rose looking in her refrigerator.

"Hi grandma." Addison said, her voice weak and a little hoarse as she spoke.

Spinning around Rose looked at her wide eyed.

"Oh Addy, thank god!" Rose exclaimed as she rushed over and hugged her.

Addison stood still in her grandmother's embrace.

"I'm so happy you're okay." Rose said as she stood back and looked at her.

Addison didn't respond.

"Well, psychically okay at least. I'm glad you're alive." Rose corrected.

"I don't feel alive." Addison admitted.

Rose frowned and led her over to the table.

Sitting down across from her Addison said "Cas is…" Her voice trailed off.

"I know, honey." Rose said, nodding her head eyes sad as she looked at her.

"How do you know?" Addison questioned.

"You left your phone here and a Bobby Singer called." Rose explained.

"Oh." Addison said, her voice so soft Rose almost didn't hear her.

"He said neither he nor Dean has heard a peep out of you since it all happened. They're worried about you." Rose continued.

"I haven't felt like talking to anyone and it's raining in my heaven." Addison finally said as she looked down to the wooden table top.

Rose bit the inside of her cheek and glanced around the kitchen with a slight look of confusion.

The room stayed silent until Rose said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Addison let out a low, dry laugh.

"What's there to talk about? Cas screwed up bad and I tried to stop him, he didn't listen and it ultimately killed him. Now I'm going to be alone for eternity… I gave up everything to stay with him and now I have nothing to look forward to but misery until the end of time or until something kills me. And then what happens? More pain? I don't know where I'll even be going…" Addison admitted.

Rose was silent as she swallowed hard and fought back her own tears.

"I screwed up too… the minute the angels didn't need me anymore I should have ran as far away from him as I could get. I was so stupid to give up my human life for this…" Addison continued.

"I wish I could change things for you, but I can't." Rose finally said, her voice cracked as she spoke.

Addison nodded.

"Addy look, you've been through so much and you've lost close to everything… and you're so young. I don't understand how the whole angel-mate thing entirely works, but I understand the pain of losing him is more devastating than anything humans feel. So I won't pretend to sit here and know what you're going through." Rose began to say.

Addison looked up at her, but stayed quiet.

"He loved you as much as you loved him, and I know he wouldn't just want you to give up. You can't just roll over and die, Addy." Rose said to her.

"I'm still alive aren't I?" Addison questioned.

"There is more than just one way to die. Even if you're physically still breathing, it doesn't mean that you're really alive." Rose argued.

"What do you think I should do, grandma? Go get a house somewhere, start school or get a job? What happens in 10 year when I haven't aged one bit, I'll pack up and move… It won't do me any good to make friends because they will just die too." Addison said, tears falling down her cheeks.

"You have to find yourself a reason to get out of bed in the morning, figuratively. You need something to live for, a reason to keep fighting." Rose said.

Addison nodded, but didn't seem to respond much to her words.

"I was shopping the other day and I found this, it made me think of you." Rose said as she slid a small, but long dark purple velvet box to her.

Addison slowly opened it and looked inside; it was a white gold chain necklace with a diamond studded heart pendant hanging from it. There was a halo on top of the heart, and angel wings out to both sides of the pendant.

Shutting the jewelry case Addison looked up at her grandmother.

"I lost the angel I loved, so you buy me a heart necklace with wings and a halo?" Addison asked a slightly blank look on her face.

Sighing Rose said, "Yes, I did. Because you have to remember that he brought a lot more than just pain into your life."

"I guess it's not quite as morbid of a gift as it seemed then." Addison breathed out before she said, "It's beautiful… thank you."

**~(2 months later)~**

Rose sat at the kitchen table eating her breakfast; she glanced up to the plate of food in front of the empty seat across from her.

Every day when Rose cooked she made a plate for Addison in case she felt like coming out of her room and eating something.

It had been 2 months since Addison had come there; she'd only left her bedroom to shower.

Hearing footsteps enter the kitchen Rose smiled and breathed a small sigh of relief.

"Oh Addy, I'm glad you…" Her voice trailed off as she looked up and saw her granddaughter.

Addison opened the refrigerator and poured herself a glass of orange juice.

Rose's eyes widened as she looked at the hot pink short-shorts and tight black V-neck shirt her granddaughter was wearing.

Looking down Rose saw she was wearing a pair of black high heels.

"Good morning, grandma." Addison greeted as she returned the bottle back to the refrigerator and sat down at the table with her.

"You're hair… it's… black." Rose said.

"It's dark brown and I like it." Addison replied.

"You, uh… you don't really look like yourself." Rose said, watching her closely.

"I made some changes." Addison said looking down to her painted black nails.

"Those shorts are a little… short." Rose continued.

"I like them." Addison replied.

"And your shirt… showing off some cleavage, huh?" Rose continued, her hazel eyes looked to the angel wing heart necklace hanging from her granddaughters neck.

Addison looked down.

"You're a little old fashioned, grandma." Addison said nodding.

"I don't understand… why the change in your appearance?" rose asked after a long silence.

"I always wanted to darken my hair before." Addison reminded her.

"But you never did…" Rose responded.

"Because the old Addison didn't have the balls to do it… and I'd never have had the balls to wear an outfit like this. But things are different now, I'm not the same Addison and there is no use in pretending I am." Addison remarked, her dark eyeliner traced eyes meeting her grandmothers.

"So you're trying to create a new identity?" Rose asked trying to understand.

"This is who I am." Addison argued.

Rose looked down to her plate of food not sure what to say.

"Well, I don't agree with the clothes and your natural hair is a beautiful color and I don't know why you'd want to change that. But I guess this beats you lying in bed for months on end." Rose said.

"Well, I need to get going." Addison said.

"Where are you going?" Rose asked her.

"Heaven, and then Hell." She answered honestly, before porting herself from the kitchen.

**~(Later that day)~**

"I wondered if you were still alive." Crowley said as he walked into the study of his house.

Addison was sitting in the chair behind his desk with her legs propped up on it.

He glanced at her black high heels.

"You should have known I'd turn up sooner or later, we do have some business to discuss." Addison said as she removed her legs from the desk and stood up.

He watched her, his eyes trailing over her body as she walked around and leaned against the front of the desk, facing him.

"What's with the new look?" He questioned.

"Fashion isn't what I came here to talk about, Crowley." She said, her voice flat as she spoke.

"It suits you." He said, his eyes trailing over her body again before he smiled smugly at her.

"You're going to work for me." Addison stated.

"Pardon?" He asked confused.

"It's simple. You can keep your post as King of Hell and work for me, or I'll kill you and find someone else to take your spot." She said bluntly.

"And I'd accept this offer why?" He asked, amused at her.

"You accepted it for Cas." She answered.

"Because, he swallowed up enough power to make him God." Crowley reminded her.

"Don't be stupid, Crowley. You're lucky I'm even here offering you this deal, I could have easily already killed you." She pointed out.

Sighing heavily he said, "Addison, we have been over this time and time again… I always win. You're headstrong, yes. But you're not as powerful as me."

"I am." She said, smirking at him.

"Addison…" He started to say, but she cut him off.

"I am capable of kicking your ass and it won't take much for you to provoke me to do it." She threatened.

Growing angry at her talking down to him, he tried to use his powers on her.

She looked at him slowly cocking her head to the side and continuing to watch him.

"Don't strain yourself." She teased.

"What's going on?" He asked, confused as to why she wasn't affected.

"I'm much, much stronger than you. I just finished Cas' mission of cleaning house in heaven. I just took out 175 angels and I've still got plenty of juice to kill you too." she said.

"This is impossible." He stated.

"Let's see… you were a tailor who sold your soul for a bigger penis hundreds of years ago and now you're the King of Hell. I'd say nothings impossible." She said.

"I think I liked the old you better." Crowley retorted.

She rolled her eyes.

"I am not going to work for you. I don't work for anyone, I'm the King of Hell." He said, his voice full of authority.

"I will kill you." Addison said.

"Look, I'm not sure if losing Castiel cracked your psyche or if you've just gone mad. Either way, I'm not going to play your games. I'm not working for you, and I'm giving you the opportunity to leave now, before I kill you." Crowley said his voice low as he spoke.

Addison's jaw tensed in anger at him.

"Did I offend you? Well good, maybe you'll get the hell out of my house!" He yelled.

"Is that any way to talk to your boss?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

"You're delusional… you are not my boss." He said, taking a step towards her angrily.

In an instant she used her power to bring him down to the floor, coughing up blood in excruciating pain.

After a while she stopped and he slowly rose to his feet.

"This isn't right… you shouldn't be this strong." He said, wiping the blood from his lips.

"So about that deal…" she began to say but he cut her off.

"Does doing all of this make you feel better now that you've lost Cas? He's dead, gone forever and you're never going to get him back." Crowley growled, trying to hurt her with his words since she was blocking his powers.

Using her powers she pinned him against the wall, with one hand on his throat and she drew her angel blade and slowly started to push it into his stomach.

He yelled in pain and tried to move, but she used her powers to hold him still.

"The only reason Cas considered opening Purgatory was because of you. You are lucky I didn't kill you the moment I saw you… so don't you ever talk about him to me again." She yelled pushing the blade in further.

He groaned in more pain but didn't respond.

"Are we clear?" Addison growled her face only inches away from his as she pushed the blade in even deeper.

"Fine." He finally growled.

"This was a new suit." He snapped as she moved and let him go.

Her breathing was still labored from anger.

"Fine Addison, I will work for you. After all, what other choice do I have?" He growled.

She nodded.

"At least tell me this though, how did you get so strong?" He asked, clearly still angered at her.

"Stood to close to Cas when he opened the door." She admitted to him.

"Purgatory souls? That's why you're this strong?" He asked, a look of shock on his face.

She nodded.

"Well that explains it." Crowley said as he crossed the room and took a drink from his glass.

"Explains what?" She asked, following him.

"This new you… there's clearly a darkness in you that you didn't have before." He pointed out.

"That's not true." She denied his logic.

"Isn't it? Think about what kind of souls you took in… dark souls, now they're inside of you and you've changed." He said.

"I am doing what I need to do to survive this. I need a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and right now that reason is me cleaning up the mess that Castiel left behind; starting with taking over heaven and having you run hell under my command." She explained to him.

"You've taken over heaven?" He asked her, as he sat his glass down on an end table.

"I'm in the process." She said, nodding.

"Great, no one should have any reason to worry with you controlling both heaven and hell… not like it has the fate of the world hanging in the balance." Crowley retorted.

"Be thankful for my kindness, Crowley. After all you've done, it's far more than you deserve." She said, her light green eyes narrowed.

His eyes narrowed as he stared back at her.

Looking around the room she said, "Nice house, I like it."

Before he could respond she said.

"I'm keeping it, you need to find somewhere else to live." Her eyes serious as she spoke to him.

"You're joking…" He said, his voice had gravel in it as he spoke.

"Hardly… now get out of my house." She said, the corners of her lips turning up into a smug smile.

"Being an angels mate… weren't you supposed to die when he did?" Crowley questioned angrily, unable to hide how she'd gotten under his skin.

"Oh come on, Crowley. You really didn't take me for the kind of girl who falls apart over a guy, did you?" She asked him, her eyes dark and her voice low as she spoke.

There was a somber bitterness to her tone as she spoke. The truth was she didn't fall apart as much as resent the feeling that her life had been stolen from her.

Every decision the past few years had been made with Castiel in mind, and now that he was gone; really gone, she'd never felt more lost.

She considered that maybe teaming up with Crowley was a bad idea, but then again what other choice did she have?

Help Sam and Dean in their efforts to rid the world of leviathan? That would be a temporary distraction from her pain; an attempt to cover the open wounds in her soul with a band-aid. And now when she looked at them all she could see was their humanity, their morality and the fact that one day, she'd lose them too.

But really, how long could that last? How long until the next time something was threatening the entire fate of the world? Months, years… maybe hundred of years. What would she do then, lay her life on the line to try and save a steadily dying planet and a human race full of hate and greed only to have her efforts dashed by the next big bad?

_No, _she thought to herself. She wasn't born or destined for that, not raised to be a hunter or anything extraordinary. She was born in a hospital on Main St, in a small Indiana town. And by some cruel twist of dim fate, she now stood toe to toe with the King of Hell in some polluted pissing contest for control of the only two places that would exist eternally; Heaven and Hell.

This was her life now. A power struggle against Crowley and trying to clean up the vast devastation and chaos Cas had left behind in Heaven, the place was entirely in shambles.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she realized Crowley was still in the room. "I said, I'm taking this house. Go find another one… I won't ask you again." Her tone was cold and dismissive as she spoke down to him.

Seeing her patience was wearing thin and knowing that she was now stronger than him, he didn't have a choice but to abide by her orders. For now at least, but he wasn't going to give up. No, he was Crowley after all and he'd do what it took to survive. But he certainly wasn't going to exist under her thumb for years to come. He didn't have a plan yet, but he'd eventually figure out a way to over throw her.

Slowly crossing the room, he picked up the crystal glass from the top of the fire place and stared down to the amber liquid inside as he gently moved the glass to swirl the scotch before taking a drink.

"This place was built for royalty, not the mundane likes of you."

She raised her eyebrows and clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she started to threaten him again, but he didn't let her get a word in.

"You want this house, fine. Take it. But we both know it's not what you really want. Because this house, even with all it's exquisite detail won't ever be your home. The truth is, Addison… you'll never have what you truly desire." He said as he walked closer to her.

"Poor Addison…" He taunted, smugly as he saw her cross her arms over her chest in irritation.

"Even I know who and what I am. But you… you don't belong anywhere. No matter how powerful you grow, you're not an angel. All the cynicism and darkness in the world won't turn you into a demon. Nor will all your tears and heartache make you human again."

Her glittery pink lips now hung slightly open as she tried think of a witty comeback, something to sting him as much as his words were hurting her.

"Now that Cas is gone and you're stuck with the gift of immortality, and the persistently painful curse of still having your soul… you'll never fit in anywhere. Even with all your power, I don't envy you." He continued as he held the edge of the glass against his bottom lip, before slowly taking another small drink. Savoring the complex heat on his tongue from the scotch.

"Is that so?" She asked, her voice strong even though she was barely breathing.

Nodding he stepped even closer until their faces were only inches apart, as he lowered the hand with his glass to his side.

"Having your soul and immortality is the perfect recipe for agony. I don't envy you because you're going to have your heart broken again and again, until the end of time. That's the cruelest fate of all…" Crowley said as he leaned in so close she could feel his breath on her face, as the citrus notes and heat from his favorite scotch tickled her nose, intertwined with his smooth, unforgiving accent. The combination made the words that much more taxing.

She swallowed hard and he leaned forward, lightly pressing his body against hers as he sat his glass down with a small clank on the desk behind her.

Her heart was either beating rapidly in her chest, or shattering into a thousand pieces; it was impossible to tell in the retributive silence of the room.

Leaning back he stared at her as her eyes slowly searched his face, desperately yearning for a sign of his bluff. But there wasn't one.

Taking a step back and without another word to her, he disappeared from the room.

Her eyes lingered on the spot he'd been standing a few moments longer, before she walked behind the desk.

Letting out a heavy, almost mournful sigh she picked up the glass of scotch and leaned back in the plush chair, propping her legs up as she brought the glass to her own lips and drank down the rest of it's contents in one swallow.

She thought of what he'd said, then examined the now empty glass as she spoke out loud to the empty room.

"Maybe, or maybe my punishment is that I dream of angels but I live with demons…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN- I owe a great big thank you to everyone who has read this story! Over 640 reviews, 300 followers and over 240 favorites; that's so amazing to me. It's been an incredible experience to share Addison's story with you. **

**I'd been so apprehensive about writing a Castiel/OFC story at the beginning, but you were all so welcoming and full of support that I kept going with it. ^_^**

**My original plan was to further this story on into season 7,8,9 and possibly even 10. (We got renewed for another season in case you didn't know! :) I had so many plans for Addison!**

**But it seems like almost all interest in this story has faded away and as much as I hate it, it's taken a toll on my writing for this one. It just doesn't feel the same. But for those of you who stuck with me and are still fans of this story, I wanted to give you some sort of ending to the story and not just leave it a completely unfinished story. I'm sorry if it's not the ending you hoped for, it's not the one I had in mind either.**

**As much as I'd love to keep this story going; sadly all things must come to an end. So, this will be the last chapter of She Talks to Angels.**

**But who knows, maybe it's just the last chapter of this part of Addison's story. If there's enough interest in seeing what all I'd had planned for Addison, then I'd certainty be open to doing a sequel to this story.**

**For anyone who has stuck with me through all 64 crazy chapters, I owe you my deepest gratitude. Addison was always one of my absolute favorite characters to write, and I always felt that she and Castiel shared an epic love and it was a pleasure to write and share it with you.**

**Thank you so much, it's been a hell of a run. Full of fear, love and joy and even some tears.**

"_It is not known precisely where angels dwell – whether in the air, the void or the planets. It has not been God's pleasure that we should be informed of their abode." - Voltaire_

**XO,**

**Sage Londyn**


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